Peeing in public

What would you do?

Was at the Novena MRT station waiting for my train last week when I witnessed a not-so-pleasant act. The station, on a weekday afternoon, was moderately empty. I had walked down the escalator heading towards an empty bench when I did a double-take at what I saw: at an adjacent bench, a mother pulling down the pants of a 6 or 7-year-old girl. The girl was giggling away. At first I thought the mom was helping the girl change - perhaps she had soiled her shorts etc. I thought it was odd and a bit uncomfortable that her private parts could be clearly seen by anyone. It was a very public place after all.

But no, she didn't need to change. The girl needed to pee. And the mother gave me an apologetic smile as she made the girl squat and held a plastic bag for the girl to pee into. All this was in full view of the handful of other commuters. After that, she wiped the girl up, tied up the bag of pee and looked for a bin (which, thanks to anti-terrorist measures, were no longer in existence in MRT stations). Failing to find one, she stuffed it into her stroller (she was also with a toddler and an older boy around 12yrs, and a man - presumably her husband). A puddle of pee was left on the floor - she didn't bother to wipe it up.

First, why let a girl of that age do this in public? I would have left the station to find a toilet. Not difficult - the basement of Sq2 (linked to the MRT concourse) had easy toilets - just round the corner. I can't imagine asking Cait to do something like this - and for heavens' sake the girl should be old enough to hold the pee until you reach the Sq2 toilets! She's not a toddler. At the age of 6, I'm conscious enough of girl modesty that I keep nagging Cait to sit properly, try not to let underwear show, not to scratch herself there in public etc. I would be curious about this little girl's mindset (and her mother's) with regards to modesty that she sees nothing wrong in peeing in public like that. Even a 3yo boy like Owain, when he has to pee and there is nowhere but the nearest bush/tree, is squeamish about it. He always says, no mummy people can see! So I wonder at this mother's total lack of self-consciousness. After all, this was not a tree/bush or even a semi-private area, but the waiting area of an MRT station!

Secondly, that puddle of pee. And here's where I think I did not do the right thing. I debated internally about that puddle. Should I walk up to them and ask that they wipe it clean? Or mind my own business? Or should I alert the station master to get a cleaner? Not to squeal on them, but just to clean it up? And what if the station master started asking questions - would I have to finger them? What if there was a scene? I hate scenes. And so on... until the decision was taken out of my hands by the arrival of the train.

To my consternation, the group entered the same train and ended up sitting right in front of me. The most I could do was to give an icy glare. But it was moot anyway since she conscientiously avoided looking at me.

Upon reflection, I think I did not do well there too. My courage failed me. The lack of civic consciousness displayed by that action is compounded by my silent complicity. By keeping quiet, I implicitly 'approved' the action. After all, we also believe a sin is caused by commission as well as omission. If I felt so uncomfortable about it, I should have spoken up. Would that have made a difference to the woman? Clearly she already knew it was not right and she felt uncomfortable about it - she would not meet my gaze. Hopefully she thinks about it and not do this again.

And as for me, I need to learn to take a deep breath and speak up when things do not sit right.
I tell my children it is important to speak up for people, for what they believe is right or wrong. But my action in this situation shows that I am unable to walk the talk. So... this needs more work.