My dad is a real survivor. I think he will really make it to his 88 years as he wanted!


Once again, as it was 2 years ago, he has made it against the odds. After more than three months in hospital, he finally made it home. He made it through stints in the High Dependency, in the ICU, the episodes of near renal failure, the "messy op" (doc's words, not mine), the many side trips into complication-territory and so on... its amazing but he's done it. Came out in one piece minus his gall bladder and came home with still one drain left but he's still done it. To be honest, there were moments when I doubted he could make it, but he did!

Best of all, his personality seems to have undergone a bit of a change. Early days yet but I hope I'm right. I see a softer side, more interest in the family, a readiness to engage us. Case in point - he's actually joining us for Christmas Eve dinner, which he has not done for many years. I'm very happy about all this.

A big thank you to everyone for your well wishes, your prayers and your thoughts. I don't think dad would have pulled through without all the silent and unseen prayer warriors here.

A bigger, heartfelt thank you to my mum - the unsung hero in all this. I know he certainly would not have made it if not for her and her untiring efforts to keep him comfortable, get him the best possible care and so on. I hope he realises what a wonderful wife he has! And me, always thankful to have a mum like her.

What a year 2009 has been! Its come and gone so fast. In just a couple of days the kids will be back at school, a new cycle would have started and we've zoomed off to another year. But if I've learned anything this year, more than ever, its not to take for granted the big and little things that God has given you. Big would be health, our jobs, our homes, family, friends, stability, security but small would be the little unseen gems that pass unnoticed when we slip from one day to the next - a quiet hour with a book, breakfast in a park, my Korean dramas, Trin dancing when she's in a good mood, kids laughing at the dinner table, a nice afternoon's chat with friends and so on.

I'm greedy so I hope God will send more gems my way next year. But I also pray to remember the lessons learned this year - not to take anything for granted - you really never know what can happen, and to be strong enough to accept things and move on if or when the bad stuff really happens.

So a Blessed, Merry Christmas to everyone! May you be blessed with robust health and an unending stream of happiness for the coming year!

This is a video of Caitlin's floor exercise at the recent competition. No chance to post till now. Since the competition, the kids have been sick, Trin in hospital and then we left for Malaysia - which also deserves a blog entry on Big On Trips. So I have not had time to upload this or even continue with my trip reports on Japan.

In this video, the man videoing is her coach Mr Lim. Sitting with the rest of her team-mates is her other coach He Laoshi.

Despite feeling under the weather, Cait went for the competition. At first, she was not inclined to compete, looking a bit pale and with hair still uncombed from sleep. But with the bright lights and the excitement, seeing all the little girls and her team-mates wear their leotards, getting made up (glitter eye shadow!) and hair pulled into high perky ponytails, plus some egging on by me, finally she turned to me and nodded.

The competition, organised by UWC, looked more like a Sunday family carnival than a formal competition. Announcements were not clear, we could not tell when warm-up ended and the competition formally began and lastly, prize-giving was very informal - more like Uncle Charles' backyard barbie funfest prize-giving ceremony for the egg-spoon race.

In any case, I think the girls had fun and it was a good, tension-free introduction to the competitive arena. No prizes for Cait but her team came in 4th in the invitational section. The other CHIJ team came in 5th.

Cait looked better and happier when competition was over, so maybe it was just what she needed to get over the bug.

Okay, life is definitely not returning to normal anytime soon.

I write this perched on Trinity's bed in a 4-bedded ward in KK Women's and Children's Hospital.

At around 9pm last night, she started throwing up. And kept on throwing up. Each time she vomited, the tummy spasmed so badly that she would scream and alternately call for me, her daddy and her Loli. I know how she felt - throwing up and retching so hard that your stomach feels turned inside out, wishing that someone can help you and make it go away and the awful thing is, no one can. When people throw up, one can only hold the person, but there is nothing one can do to make it go away.

We brought her and Owain (who was also throwing up and had been listless with a high fever since Monday) to the KK emergency room. Both were given meds and Owain managed to keep his down after observation for an hour. But Trin, despite given domperidone via a suppository, was still retching and throwing up like clockwork every 15min. By midnight, I think she had thrown up around 10 times. The doctor said we should admit her.

So KH brought Owain and his meds home and I ended up in a 4-bed ward (the singles were all out) spending a fitful night on a tiny foldable campbed next to Trin's bed. Would you believe the campbed actually had an indentation where the butt lies? How many parents have camped out on this bed so that it hollows out just right where the hips lie?

Trin was a trooper. I insisted on lidocaine cream before they inserted the plug. I was afraid she would scream to high heaven and throw one of her tantrums. But I need not have worried, she was so tired/sleepy and with the lidocaine, she barely flinched when the inserted the plug. I was the more anxious one, feeling the pain for her.

They have given her a glucose drip and for now, its nil by mouth. Despite that, she still woke up at least twice in the night to cry weakly and puke - the little that is left to puke, that is.

I had a restless night - babies and children crying and wailing in the night (poor babies) and frazzled tamped down sounds of mothers drowsily hushing, the beep of monitors, nurses coming in and out... I did not even dare use the toilet in the night lest it sets off the baby sleeping in cubicle just beside. Had to go out of the ward.

I am going to ask for a single room again. I am NOT looking forward to a second night like this.

Back home, things are also not looking good. Gillian is down with bad upper respiratory tract infection that has spread to her ears and left her nasal and clogged.As of last night, Isaac had diarrhoeaed twice and thrown up once. Caitlin has been diarrhoeaing over the past days but not been affected energy-wise. But last night, she threw up 4 times. By 3am, both Isaac and Cait were in the emergency room with KH. Poor man hardly slept with ferrying the kids to and from the emergency room. The senior doctor there took a look at KH and did a double take, asking KH: you look familiar. Didn't I just see you here? and poor KH had to say yes, bringing back batch no. 2.

I worry about Cait's competition on Saturday. We were up for filming on Sunday for a CNA documentary on big families but looks like that is going on the back burner. We have made plans for a trip up to Penang for our complimentary stay at the Parkroyal at Batu Ferringhi for the following week so hopefully the kids all recover in time.

Had to take a deep breath just writing that.

I was away from the office for two weeks, and out on child sick leave. When I came back, I was told some smart aleck passed this remark: she has too many children. My take is, its none of their business but if they choose to be narrow about this, too bad for them. I don't live my life by the yardstick of others who have narrow minds and small hearts. My life is hectic and full because I have five children, but this is what I signed up for and I will roll with the punches. There is never a dull day and today, I am living it.

Ach dilemma again.

We're back from a numbing but so-lovely trip to Japan and life is trying to settle back to Normal. If there was such a thing in a crazy house with 5 kids.

Training has resumed for Cait - in dance and in gym. We got word from her Chinese coach that Mr Lim was displeased that she had been shortlisted for dance. They did not want her attention diluted and wanted her focus to be solely on gym. Before we left, Mr Lim had told her pointblank - choose. Can't have both. We left it at that two weeks ago, with KH and I still adamant that she would try dance and see how far this would go.

So yesterday, back from Japan, we resumed the juggle for now. Cait has dance practice from 12 to 2pm daily but because she's got the UWC competition coming up at the end of the week, she will leave dance early at 1.30pm to go for gym training from 1.30 to 6.30pm. Luckily both are held in school so its just a matter of rushing from the dance studio on the ground floor to the gym on the 5th floor.

When we picked her from training, her Chinese coach had a word with us. She said she would not be staying long in CHIJ as a coach. She would stay until the first term but once the national inter-school competition was over, she would move on to be a coach in the centralised training for national squad. Now my Mandarin is not very good and so I'm not sure if I heard correctly but the gist of it was, both Coach Shao and Mr Lim think Cait has potential to go further. So they are suggesting that she train with the national squad in the 7 to 9 age group, under Coach Shao. So instead of training with the school team, Cait would go for centralised training with the aim of representing Singapore one day.

Coach Shao saw that we were confused and hesitant, not sure about what this all means and the kind of commitment it would entail. To clarify, she said it means ramping up training significantly to three hours a day, seven days a week. But for a start, she added, we could just try it out three days a week. This means, AFTER school training ends at 5pm, three days a week, Cait would go with Coach Shao to CCAB at Evans Road and train from 6pm to 8pm.

Well, we're kinda gobsmacked. We actually just wanted to talk to Coach Shao about the competition schedule this weekend and did not expect this. We told Coach Shao we would think about this and let her know. Meanwhile, KH says privately to me, time for a family meeting. Because with her intense training, we'll have to rope in the older ones to help fetch/send to/from training and this may mean sacrifices on everyone's part.

In Japan, I teasingly called her my "world-class gymnast" and Isaac et al would protest ("WHAT world-class gymnast?!") but that was just a loving little joke. In the light of what Coach Shao said, this does not seem like a joke anymore.

We're proud of her, so proud that she has the talent and potential to go far. But what does all this mean and how far will we go? There will be lots for our family to discuss in the following days. Isaac and Gillian have no hesitation - "It's an opportunity, mum! It's not going to come again," says Gillian. And Isaac muttered, "I don't know what you are all waiting for, go for it lah. National squad you know!"

I know, and I am thrilled but scared.