Hard core

I need help. Seriously. I have an internet addiction that is ruining my life slowly but surely.

Its not Facebook. Not MySpace. Not Friendster. It's not even email anymore. It is nothing remotely social even.

Its Big Money. I am addicted to it.

Ever since I repaired the home PC, forked out about $300 for a new hard disk, upgrade my RAM etc, the home PC is now as good as new and my internet connections fixed and raring to go. With the kids, we re-discovered the joys of Pop Cap games, Mini-Clip, Nitrome etc.

And now I am hooked. My drug of choice: Big Money. Its the new version of Collapse. Keep clicking on the coloured balls and grabbing money bags to advance. Each level you clear gives you a title - from Pauper to Chairman of the Board.

My right shoulder is slightly numb now as I type this - after an hour of mindless clicking. My right index finger is frozen and stiff.

My kids are going to seed outside, unsupervised, unstimulated, unchallenged and uncared for. They run around in a variety of chocolate-stained t-shirts, and soggy diapers. I holler out commands from my desk while glued to my PC. Commands like: "Stop that at once or else!" and "If I hear one more argle-bargle!!" I try to tell myself its not so bad - at least I am not in the office. The kids can hear me, even if they can't see me. And if they do want to see me, they just have to wait until I finish one level, not the whole game. This is bad isn't it?

I only pause for toilet breaks.

Right now, the baby nurses at the PC. Heck. The baby has gotten into the game too! She not only can finish up to Level 2 unassisted (her rank is Ditch Digger), she can now officially recognise the word 'Big' - she pointed it out to me when she saw the word in a newspaper headline. That should tell you how hooked I am, how many hours I have lavished to earning my virtual big bucks online and how many times baby has nursed at the keyboard while I am frantically clicking away.

I need help. I have to break this addiction. But the bloody PC is so damn tempting! Should have just let the PC die. As it is, with all the wanton clicking, the mouse is dying a slow but inexorable death, losing responsiveness day by day.

And to make me feel worse, right outside me now, I can see my neighbour - the model mom. She's not clicking away, cooped up in a room, uncaring of her kids. She's out there, in her model garden - gardening! Her kids are her assistants, handing her stuff she needs. Spending time together fruitfully. Probably learning something along the way... While, me? I call my kids to me in excitement everytime I hit a high score.

It makes me ashamed to say this, but I even took a picture of the screen when I hit Chairman of the Board. Just to prove to the kids that I have been where none have been before.

To make me feel somewhat better, I share strategy tips with the kids - like how you should not just randomly click, but be patient and wait until enough balls fill more than half the screen and then you click at the bottom to form large chunks - more points that way. Sorry. This is only relevant if you are as addicted to Big Money as I am.

So the kids and I have an unofficial competition. Gillian, Isaac and I are Chairmen of the Board. But I win in terms of high score. Heh.

Okay, got to go. Its dinner time. But before that, maybe just one more game for the road...