My last hours of being 39...

...are spent nursing a bad headache. Chalk it down to a combination of the flu and over-eating.

Today was the day of my big pig-out luxe lunch. And boy, did I pig out.

It rained earlier when I left the house so I was not confident about getting a good view from the lofty heights of Equinox. But the rain soon cleared up and up there, while not blue skies and sunshine, it was clear enough to see quite far.

I was given a good seat next to the window. From there I could see Esplanade Drive, which has been turned into part of the track for the F1 night race. The road was empty far down below, all ready for the practice sessions to come later in the afternoon. I would be long gone by then, but till then, I could still enjoy the rest of the view. The Singapore River was one long, BROWN ribbon of water snaking its way past the shophouses and skyscrapers. I was taken aback at the Milo colour - two years ago when I sat at the very same spot, it was all bluish-green. So what happened? Was it the construction of the Marina barrage or was it the IR coming up?

The spread of dishes for the buffet was pretty much the same - it was not very wide, but it had all my favourites. So I feasted on oysters on ice, four different types of sashimi, various sushi, zaru soba (cold Japanese noodles), prawn salad, and of course, my foie gras. I think I overdid it on the foie gras, going back four times for the sinful little slabs. In between food, I was transported to life in Tahiti in my current favourite trilogy of novels from Tahitian writer Celestine Hitiura Vaite. Dessert was yummy creme brulee, bread and butter pudding with vanilla sauce, tiramisu and raspberry and pear sorbet.

I think the cooking was not remarkable, but still serviceable. The buffet comprised only appetizers and dessert. For $10 more you could have a main course from the menu, but I wanted to concentrate on the oysters and the foie gras so I gave it a miss. The buffet spread did contain small chinese saucers of cod with french beans in a white buttery sauce, which was quite tasty, so that satisfied any craving I had for a main course.

I sat there eating and reading and perfectly content for almost two and a half hours. Initially, I did wonder if I was setting myself up for an uncomfortable experience - going alone for a chi-chi lunch. But once there, I felt okay. I was probably the only one lunching alone, but I didn't mind. The book was perfect company. By the time I had to go, I had finished the book. It was a good book and it was a good lunch!

To make myself feel a bit less guilty about all that foie gras now sending my cholesterol to stratospheric heights, I decided to walk from Raffles City to The Cathay and to Plaza Singapura. Down in Raffles City, the mood was definitely buzzing because of the F1. I don't follow the F1 so I wouldn't know who was who even if the drivers themselves bumped into me! But there were lots of women there, dressed in bright vermillion orange crew suits. Were they crew? I can't imagine them changing tires in the pit, but they sure looked the part!

So here I am, hours away from turning 40.

I had a nice afternoon, just walking in the sunshine. And I think, my life has not been bad. I am in a good place where I am now.

Healthwise, I know things could be better. I saw the doctor on Tuesday for my blood pressure. He was left shaking his head: pressure still not well controlled despite the addition of the diuretic. I showed him my urine sticks to ascertain that they were indeed testing for protein leaks and not microalbumin. He agreed. So this means my kidneys are definitely starting to leak protein. He wanted to add an ACE Inhibitor to my drug cocktail to help control the BP better and to protect the kidneys. But because I was still breastfeeding, this would not be possible. So the poor guy had to spend some time cracking his brains about what could be prescribed for me. In the end, he decided to just up my dosage of the diuretic to see if this has any effect. But he didn't look optimistic. I will see him in two months and he has ordered a blood test to check on renal function.

I'm sure he would appalled if he saw the amount of oysters and foie gras I was piling on! But heck, I don't turn 40 everyday.

It just occurred to me that I can now safely be called 'middle-aged'. Since life expectancy for women are in the mid-80s, I reckon that I have just about made it to the middle of my lifespan. Half my life is over. The other half awaits.

When I turned 30, I had already given birth to 2 children, headed a magazine, head-hunted to start another (but turned it down), and had just sold my house. Today, on the brink of 40, I have 5 children (3 that came in the 10 years that passed between 30 and 40!), gotten my graduate diploma, down-shifted to a half-time job, got offered another editorship but turned it down again, have my own little business and am now living in my tiny yellow house.

Life has a funny way of moving around. At 30, I could never have imagined myself to be where I am now. So I wonder what I will be when I hit the next milestone - 50!

But first, there's 40 to deal with. And that happens in just a couple of hours.