Smart-mouth
Did I say that I'm deeply madly in love with my smart-mouthed fishball boy? He can give me such pert answers that stump me but gee, how my heart melts! The boy has me like putty in his hands sometimes.
On Sunday he and his sibs were arguing about the ball. It's mine, he insisted. Both balls in the house belong to him, he said. Squabble squabble squabble.
Tired of the whining and the arguing from both sides, I said share or else. Boy refused. So I eyed him in exasperation and said, since the ball is yours, and you don't want to share, you have to keep the ball with you ALL the time for the rest of the day. The minute I find the ball away from you, it's mine.
He good-naturedly agreed and for the rest of the day, kept the ball with him. But by evening time, his patience wore thin and he came to me as we were preparing to leave for dinner.
Mum, he went, a bit whiny. Could I leave the ball at home?
No. Its your ball remember?
But mu-uuuum...
He sulked for a bit and thought hard. Then he brightened, looked at me craftily and said: If this is my ball... then I can choose to do what I want with it right? ...And so I choose to leave it at home!
KH said he check-mated me lock stock and barrel.
When he's not being cheeky, he's so sweet. The other day Eileen called me and alerted me that Owain had burst into tears during dismissal for no known reason, and suggested that I check with him because he'd refused to tell the teachers.
I called home and asked him: are you alright?
He told me, quite matter-of-fact: Its okay, mum, I calmed down already from walking home from school.
So why did you cry?
Because, he said, it was Nathaniel's birthday and he had goodie bags. I asked for two bags, one for me and one for Trin and when dismissal time came, one bag was stolen!! Someone took Trin's bag! Thats why I cried.
Ah, but when he returned home, the goody bag was found in his school bag. Eileen had placed it there so that he would not lose it. Happy discovery!
It's so heartwarming to hear how thoughtful he can be for his pesky baby sister - even though she drives him bananas many times. According to Eileen, he always asks for two bags during parties, even when Trin is not in school. He can be such a giving, generous little soul. And lets not forget that whenever Trin cries in school, Owain would be the one she looks for and Owain would be the one sitting with her, patting her shoulder and telling her gently: its okay Trin, don't cry. Only when she stops and seems happy to be in class would he then slip away to his own class.
Oh and did I say the smartmouth already has decided that he wants to go to RI??? Few months ago when we were flipping through the book on secondary school choices, Owain spotted RI's table of achievements, which were of course dotted with many icons of achievement. He noticed that other schools had noticeably less and deduced that the one with 'more pictures' should be the best school around. He eagerly told his brother about this 'good school' and seemed visibly disappointed that Isaac's score could not get him in. And that was when he said that one day, he would go there. To which I said: over my dead body!
My smartmouth fishball... For now I can still hold him, he can still sit on my lap (fights with Trin over lap space!) and he still comes to me for his snuggles and cuddles and kisses. He happily gives me hugs and kisses, tells me I'm his best girl in the world. He thinks the world of me now. I wonder how long it will last. While I can't imagine a strapping man of 30 professing such love for his old mother, I do wish I could prolong these moments for as long as I can. He's growing so fast I'm already missing him.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
This is Trinity stroking Tigerlily. Tigs would just lie down and wait for a nice sayang session. She's very very manja! She's also very gentle with the kids, including Trin, who can be quite cheerfully rough with Tigs. I've told her not to pull the cat's tail and to stroke her gently but Trin sometimes forgets. Luckily Tigs is quite forgiving!
She's lying down waiting for me to sayang and instead I whip out my camera for a few shots!
I really like these few pictures of her. She looks so regal. At night she likes to hop up on the gatepost to just sit there staring out into the night, like some Egyptian hieroglyphic cat.
We've brought her to the vet which costs as much as an expensive paediatrician's visit. Apparently she's just over a year old, and considered an adult cat. The vet said she is in good general condition. We gave her her vax and a deworming tablet. But last night, dunno whether because she was traumatised because of her visit to the vet, she disappeared into the night the minute we came home and let her out of her carrier.
She was gone all of today too, which worried me greatly. I was fretting because of the loud caterwauling going on around my house area. From the sounds, I knew that a female was in heat and some mating was going on and I didn't want Tigs to mate before I could get her neutered.
Luckily, to our relief, she came home this evening, devoured her dinner then curled up on Gillian's bed for a nice long nap. While it would be nice to keep her indoors, I wonder if this would be cruel because her nature has always been to wander and she's been a street cat for so long.
Seems to feel like she's been a part of us for a really long time even though its really just been over a week. I guess that's how they grow on you. Even pet-averse KH has taken to sitting with her, discussing cat issues with me etc.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Tigerlily - the beginning
We didn't choose Tigerlily. She chose us as her pet-family.
I've meant to post the following account of how Tigerlily came to be part of our family but didn't get round to it. Its been more than a month since she's joined our tribe. I wrote this the day after she came to us. Here's a look at how it all happened...
Yesterday I was on my way with Trin to see the speech therapist. As we stepped out from our gate, Trin pointed across the road and said: look, cat! Then she started making 'meow meow' sounds. Amazingly the cat responded with meows and came towards us. And I knew instinctively that this little animal wanted to come over for some stroking and cuddling.
So the cat came over to us and immediately lay on the ground, feet up, belly exposed and waited for us to stroke her! I've never seen cats behave like this before. I thought they were always haughty and standoffish but this little one was very friendly. It also did not seem wary of humans as I thought most strays would be.
We petted her for a while but as we stood up to leave, she stood up too and walked with us. So I tried backtracking into our garden, thinking that maybe she would be too wary to go into the grounds. But I was wrong. In she came, rolled over on the ground, Owain and Trin stroking and cooing in delight.
We really had to leave, so I carried Trin and went to the gate. The cat accompanied us but this time I kept on walking. After a while, the cat stopped several metres from my house and watched us go. Then it turned and went back in.
According to Lolita, the cat stayed in our house (or actually, the porch area) for several hours until Owain left for school and the house was locked up. We thought we'd seen the last of it, but not so. She (Lolita discovered it was a girl cat) came back in the evening. We didn't have cat food so we gave her bread from a curry bun and she finished everything.
The kids were thrilled, particularly Cait, who loved to spend hours outside with the cat just stroking it. Every once in a while, she would go out, sit outside, or sit on our ledge, but she would always come back and play and manja a bit. Even with me and KH, the cat would come, curl around our legs and mew. She didn't seem scared at all.
Occasionally, when she sat outside looking into the distance, I got the feeling that it was waiting for something/someone, sort of expecting somebody. Her stance looked watching and maybe even, a bit protective. It reminded me of the story in Neil Gaiman's book "Smoke and Mirrors". I read it sometime ago and that story really stuck with me. It was about a stray cat who battled nightly demons to protect its adopted human family. I remember liking it so much I made a photocopy of it and later on, bought the actual book. This little cat's watchful stance reminded me of this.
KH, who has always been resistant to the idea of any pets, seem won over or resigned to the fact that the cat seems to like us. But as I pointed out, we didn't choose it. It chose us. That's got to count for something right? Why did it choose us? And as KH jokingly said: "what on earth did Trin say to it! Either way, since it has chosen us, we cannot turn it away. We will do the best we can for it."
Last night, when everyone had gone up to bed, we last saw her settling down for the night on our comfy cushioned seat out on the porch. The next morning at 6am, which is today, the cat was still around. As usual, when we left, it accompanied us to the gate, sat there and watched us drive off. Cait forgot something so we turned back. When she ran in to get her stuff, the cat again tried initiating play - rolling around on the ground (you'd almost think it was like an excited puppy wanting to play all day!) . Cait gave it one last stroke and said bye-bye. Again, it followed her to the gate, sat outside and had a puzzled look as to why she was leaving again. Then it promptly went back in.
When I called home at 1pm, I was told the cat left when Owain went to school. It only came back in the mid-afternoon.
I don't know how long the cat will stay. I think being a street cat for so long would make it hard for it to remain housebound. With my big windows and doors perpetually open, with the gate slats wide enough for her to slip through, I think it would be near-impossible to keep her house-bound. We just have to accept that she will roam. We just hope she will return. My friend did warn me that she might one day go away - street cats sometimes did - and if it did, it might or might not return. So that is something we need to get used to. As Isaac warned us last night: don't get too attached. Remember what happened with the pigeon?
The pigeon was our first 'pet'. It limped to our house one fine day, one wing damaged. It could not fly so we put it in a cardboard box, gave it food and water, brought it to the vet. Despite the fact that the pigeon pooped all over the house when it was well enough to wander around, it was still a companion of sorts - watching tv with the kids, hopping out into the garden when the kids played etc. Isaac was really attached and he was very sad the day the pigeon was well enough to fly away. It never came back.
But anyway. We hope the cat stays - more or less. I've just bought her cat food pellets, her own bowl for water and another for food, and finally, her own little collar with a bell. I won't put it on her for now though. We will put food and water out for her and let her know she's got a home with us. But we will not restrain her indoors or cage her and we do know that she's quite the independent roamer so she will come and go as she pleases.
If she is still with us beyond a week, I will buy a cat carrier and transport her to a vet for an examination and sterilisation. Even if she does not stay with us, being sterilised can only be good for her and for the community. She does not look malnourished and her fur is nice and thick. Her head looks small and her eyes are huge - pale green jade colour. Her ears are big and perky and overall she looks like a juvenile cat, not quite an adult yet. She also has a jaunty tail which sticks upright whenever she approaches us. A friend told us this means that she has identified us as her family and she is comfortable with us.
Tentatively, we decided to call her Tigerlily, the Indian princess from Peter Pan, 'tiger' because of her black tigerish strips set in her tortoise-shell patches and 'lily' because of her snow-white chest and paws. I was told though that the name is too long and cats are more likely to recognise and respond to names that are max 2 syllables long. So we'll think about it again.
For now though, Tigerlily stays.
We didn't choose Tigerlily. She chose us as her pet-family.
I've meant to post the following account of how Tigerlily came to be part of our family but didn't get round to it. Its been more than a month since she's joined our tribe. I wrote this the day after she came to us. Here's a look at how it all happened...
Yesterday I was on my way with Trin to see the speech therapist. As we stepped out from our gate, Trin pointed across the road and said: look, cat! Then she started making 'meow meow' sounds. Amazingly the cat responded with meows and came towards us. And I knew instinctively that this little animal wanted to come over for some stroking and cuddling.
So the cat came over to us and immediately lay on the ground, feet up, belly exposed and waited for us to stroke her! I've never seen cats behave like this before. I thought they were always haughty and standoffish but this little one was very friendly. It also did not seem wary of humans as I thought most strays would be.
We petted her for a while but as we stood up to leave, she stood up too and walked with us. So I tried backtracking into our garden, thinking that maybe she would be too wary to go into the grounds. But I was wrong. In she came, rolled over on the ground, Owain and Trin stroking and cooing in delight.
We really had to leave, so I carried Trin and went to the gate. The cat accompanied us but this time I kept on walking. After a while, the cat stopped several metres from my house and watched us go. Then it turned and went back in.
According to Lolita, the cat stayed in our house (or actually, the porch area) for several hours until Owain left for school and the house was locked up. We thought we'd seen the last of it, but not so. She (Lolita discovered it was a girl cat) came back in the evening. We didn't have cat food so we gave her bread from a curry bun and she finished everything.
The kids were thrilled, particularly Cait, who loved to spend hours outside with the cat just stroking it. Every once in a while, she would go out, sit outside, or sit on our ledge, but she would always come back and play and manja a bit. Even with me and KH, the cat would come, curl around our legs and mew. She didn't seem scared at all.
Occasionally, when she sat outside looking into the distance, I got the feeling that it was waiting for something/someone, sort of expecting somebody. Her stance looked watching and maybe even, a bit protective. It reminded me of the story in Neil Gaiman's book "Smoke and Mirrors". I read it sometime ago and that story really stuck with me. It was about a stray cat who battled nightly demons to protect its adopted human family. I remember liking it so much I made a photocopy of it and later on, bought the actual book. This little cat's watchful stance reminded me of this.
KH, who has always been resistant to the idea of any pets, seem won over or resigned to the fact that the cat seems to like us. But as I pointed out, we didn't choose it. It chose us. That's got to count for something right? Why did it choose us? And as KH jokingly said: "what on earth did Trin say to it! Either way, since it has chosen us, we cannot turn it away. We will do the best we can for it."
Last night, when everyone had gone up to bed, we last saw her settling down for the night on our comfy cushioned seat out on the porch. The next morning at 6am, which is today, the cat was still around. As usual, when we left, it accompanied us to the gate, sat there and watched us drive off. Cait forgot something so we turned back. When she ran in to get her stuff, the cat again tried initiating play - rolling around on the ground (you'd almost think it was like an excited puppy wanting to play all day!) . Cait gave it one last stroke and said bye-bye. Again, it followed her to the gate, sat outside and had a puzzled look as to why she was leaving again. Then it promptly went back in.
When I called home at 1pm, I was told the cat left when Owain went to school. It only came back in the mid-afternoon.
I don't know how long the cat will stay. I think being a street cat for so long would make it hard for it to remain housebound. With my big windows and doors perpetually open, with the gate slats wide enough for her to slip through, I think it would be near-impossible to keep her house-bound. We just have to accept that she will roam. We just hope she will return. My friend did warn me that she might one day go away - street cats sometimes did - and if it did, it might or might not return. So that is something we need to get used to. As Isaac warned us last night: don't get too attached. Remember what happened with the pigeon?
The pigeon was our first 'pet'. It limped to our house one fine day, one wing damaged. It could not fly so we put it in a cardboard box, gave it food and water, brought it to the vet. Despite the fact that the pigeon pooped all over the house when it was well enough to wander around, it was still a companion of sorts - watching tv with the kids, hopping out into the garden when the kids played etc. Isaac was really attached and he was very sad the day the pigeon was well enough to fly away. It never came back.
But anyway. We hope the cat stays - more or less. I've just bought her cat food pellets, her own bowl for water and another for food, and finally, her own little collar with a bell. I won't put it on her for now though. We will put food and water out for her and let her know she's got a home with us. But we will not restrain her indoors or cage her and we do know that she's quite the independent roamer so she will come and go as she pleases.
If she is still with us beyond a week, I will buy a cat carrier and transport her to a vet for an examination and sterilisation. Even if she does not stay with us, being sterilised can only be good for her and for the community. She does not look malnourished and her fur is nice and thick. Her head looks small and her eyes are huge - pale green jade colour. Her ears are big and perky and overall she looks like a juvenile cat, not quite an adult yet. She also has a jaunty tail which sticks upright whenever she approaches us. A friend told us this means that she has identified us as her family and she is comfortable with us.
Tentatively, we decided to call her Tigerlily, the Indian princess from Peter Pan, 'tiger' because of her black tigerish strips set in her tortoise-shell patches and 'lily' because of her snow-white chest and paws. I was told though that the name is too long and cats are more likely to recognise and respond to names that are max 2 syllables long. So we'll think about it again.
For now though, Tigerlily stays.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Hotel reviews posted
Completed my reviews of six hotels in Malaysia in Pangkor, Ipoh, Penang and KL. Its posted on my travel blog Big On Trips.
Crappy stay at the Penang Parkroyal hada happy ending after all. A lovely 'feedback' letter I shot to the Parkroyal management resulted in a warm letter from the GM of Penang Parkroyal inviting us back for a two-night stay gratis. I accepted of course. We'll go in June for the durians.
Completed my reviews of six hotels in Malaysia in Pangkor, Ipoh, Penang and KL. Its posted on my travel blog Big On Trips.
Crappy stay at the Penang Parkroyal hada happy ending after all. A lovely 'feedback' letter I shot to the Parkroyal management resulted in a warm letter from the GM of Penang Parkroyal inviting us back for a two-night stay gratis. I accepted of course. We'll go in June for the durians.
St Gabriel's
Just recording some of my thoughts about St Gab's while they are still fresh.
We went for the campfire on the last night of Isaac's orientation camp at school. So many parents turned up that the boys had to sit on the floor because the parents took up their bench space! I think the school found this large turn-out a bit unexpected too. They seemed equally pleasantly surprised at the larger than expected numbers that came for the Dec 19 registration briefing. In previous years, the numbers were a lot smaller. What does this mean? More concerned parents this batch? It can only be good for the school.
The campfire was not a total fantastic success in part thanks to the zombie-like, half-hearted attitudes of the Sec 1 boys. I'd chalk it down to fatigue, shyness or apathy, but I'd still really like to shake these boys to wake them up - Isaac included! Here was a great campfire, such enthusiastic, hardworking GLs and there were the Sec 1s, acting half-dead!
Kudos to the senior Group Leaders (GLs)though! They were really working hard to energise the boys in the cheers - largely fell flat but a real A-star for effort! Funniest part of the night came when the St Gab's boys called for 'thanksgiving' - purported a school tradition - to encourage anyone to come up and offer their thanks to whoever they wished. As usual, no response from the near brain-dead Sec 1s - until a plump, cute little Indian boy stepped up to the plate. Looks like he was 'sabo-ed' because he pointed an "I'm-gonna-get-you-for-this" finger at his giggly mates accusingly as he took the mike. This boy was so adorable - he thanked his mother and sister "sitting right there in the middle" (pointed to them), for coming and for supporting him and gruffly saying that he loves them from the bottom of his heart (pumped fist to heart for emphasis).
I came away from the place with a sense of how much the senior boys loved their school and the strong sense of fellowship and camaraderie they had. Several of the boys had lost their voices shouting and cheering over the two days of the camp, but not their sense of fun. Quite a number of teachers were also there. Even their teacher, Mr Foo, radiated a strong sense of love and pride in the school. I gleaned all this from the way they behaved and the things they said.
I was also gratified and impressed to learn that Isaac's form teacher, Mrs Foong, stayed with her boys overnight throughout the camp, and walked the path with them, gamely taking part in activities, hiking with them etc. I don't know if she was the only form teacher to do so, but I'm glad it was Isaac's teacher who did so!
Later at the end of the night, as the boys went back to their classrooms to get their bags, we parents also accompanied them. Isaac's class was the only class still seated in the room, parents gathered outside, as the teacher spoke to the boys and to the parents. I was glad to see that she made the effort and the time for one last pep talk to the boys, and parents.
Mrs Foong is a Chinese teacher, so her English isn't that great. But the love for what she does, the passion to nurture her boys, the commitment that shone from her, was all so palpable. She spoke to the boys about attitude being the key to success, about respect, particularly to their parents. Mrs Foong told the boys: "If you can't even respect your parents, then who on earth can you respect? So boys, don't let me hear that you are rude to them, or you disrespect them. You will be in trouble with me! Your parents and I work together to help you. So please, don't disrespect them!"
She also sought our understanding that there may be times when she may be "very strict with the boys" and to work with her closely. Gee, I felt like applauding and saying: Its okay, go right ahead please! You have my permission to be as strict as you like!!
One of the GLs standing there later said the same thing: Yes, Mrs Foong is strict but the boys who come through her class tend to do very well. He says this from experience because he too, was from her class once. But, he also stressed, it still boils down to the boys, what they want, their attitude etc.
Later the GLs and Mrs Foong highlighted five boys whom they said had "done very well" in the camp and the boys stood up, looking a bit embarrassed but clearly happy to have a round of applause from all the parents and their classmates.
After giving each boy their 'prize' for winning one of the games/activities in the camp, the boys were dismissed.
It appears to me that the school seems to have very committed teachers who go out of their way for the boys. When we came for our impromptu visit last year and met Joey, that lovely boy who happens to be a GL too (we saw him there that night too and even before that, he had recognised KH and Isaac from the first day of registration!), Joey and the other student leader that brought us around told us that their teachers were first-rate - in that they genuinely cared for the boys and would spend time helping them and giving extra coaching where necessary. Even my neighbour Luke, who studies in St Gab's, said this.
I cynically dismissed it just a nice PR line. But from my interactions with the teachers during the registration, the campfire, I think Joey and Luke are right. I see in them, an enthusiasm for what they do, intense pride and loyalty for the school and caring commitment for the boys under their charge. And in the boys too, this very strong sense of school pride, bonding and school spirit. I did not see this in SJI Jr, nor in any of my other children's schools. In fact, the closest I have seen to this is 22 years ago in RJC and among my RI friends. That kind of palpable school pride and bonding. I certainly did not expect to get all this from St Gab's.
I think the people maketh the school. The students and the teachers are the face of the school. And if a school churns out well-mannered, helpful, proactive, respectful young men like Joey, Luke and the other GLs I saw that night, and has committed and passionate teachers like Mr Foo and Mrs Foong on their staff, right down to the very helpful school clerk we met earlier, then the school must be doing something right. This is the heartware they have gotten down to a 'T'. The 'hardware' - ie the L1B4, the other achievements etc, is just one part of the picture.
I only wish more people knew about this, knew about what this school could offer. Maybe then, it would not be a 'no-choice first choice' as it was for me. Bluntly put, it would not languish behind the other more prestigious Catholic boys' schools like Maris Stella, Catholic High or SJI, as what I can best describe as a 'second-tier' school, and instead, come to the fore as a boys' school of choice.
I came away with a real buzz of excitement from what I had seen from the campfire, from seeing Mrs Foong, the GLs etc. Maybe its early days yet but I believe Isaac is in good hands and I thank God for this - truly, He knows best. Despite my lamenting about Isaac not getting to SJI, He knows best and put us on this path. Yes, St Gab's was not my first choice and really was a choice that arose out of a lack of other viable choices. But in the days that have passed, in the people I have met, what I have seen and through all I have encountered, I am slowly changing my mind.
Whether or not he eventually does well and makes it to a good JC is one thing. But here, character-wise, I suspect this place will be the making of him.
Just recording some of my thoughts about St Gab's while they are still fresh.
We went for the campfire on the last night of Isaac's orientation camp at school. So many parents turned up that the boys had to sit on the floor because the parents took up their bench space! I think the school found this large turn-out a bit unexpected too. They seemed equally pleasantly surprised at the larger than expected numbers that came for the Dec 19 registration briefing. In previous years, the numbers were a lot smaller. What does this mean? More concerned parents this batch? It can only be good for the school.
The campfire was not a total fantastic success in part thanks to the zombie-like, half-hearted attitudes of the Sec 1 boys. I'd chalk it down to fatigue, shyness or apathy, but I'd still really like to shake these boys to wake them up - Isaac included! Here was a great campfire, such enthusiastic, hardworking GLs and there were the Sec 1s, acting half-dead!
Kudos to the senior Group Leaders (GLs)though! They were really working hard to energise the boys in the cheers - largely fell flat but a real A-star for effort! Funniest part of the night came when the St Gab's boys called for 'thanksgiving' - purported a school tradition - to encourage anyone to come up and offer their thanks to whoever they wished. As usual, no response from the near brain-dead Sec 1s - until a plump, cute little Indian boy stepped up to the plate. Looks like he was 'sabo-ed' because he pointed an "I'm-gonna-get-you-for-this" finger at his giggly mates accusingly as he took the mike. This boy was so adorable - he thanked his mother and sister "sitting right there in the middle" (pointed to them), for coming and for supporting him and gruffly saying that he loves them from the bottom of his heart (pumped fist to heart for emphasis).
I came away from the place with a sense of how much the senior boys loved their school and the strong sense of fellowship and camaraderie they had. Several of the boys had lost their voices shouting and cheering over the two days of the camp, but not their sense of fun. Quite a number of teachers were also there. Even their teacher, Mr Foo, radiated a strong sense of love and pride in the school. I gleaned all this from the way they behaved and the things they said.
I was also gratified and impressed to learn that Isaac's form teacher, Mrs Foong, stayed with her boys overnight throughout the camp, and walked the path with them, gamely taking part in activities, hiking with them etc. I don't know if she was the only form teacher to do so, but I'm glad it was Isaac's teacher who did so!
Later at the end of the night, as the boys went back to their classrooms to get their bags, we parents also accompanied them. Isaac's class was the only class still seated in the room, parents gathered outside, as the teacher spoke to the boys and to the parents. I was glad to see that she made the effort and the time for one last pep talk to the boys, and parents.
Mrs Foong is a Chinese teacher, so her English isn't that great. But the love for what she does, the passion to nurture her boys, the commitment that shone from her, was all so palpable. She spoke to the boys about attitude being the key to success, about respect, particularly to their parents. Mrs Foong told the boys: "If you can't even respect your parents, then who on earth can you respect? So boys, don't let me hear that you are rude to them, or you disrespect them. You will be in trouble with me! Your parents and I work together to help you. So please, don't disrespect them!"
She also sought our understanding that there may be times when she may be "very strict with the boys" and to work with her closely. Gee, I felt like applauding and saying: Its okay, go right ahead please! You have my permission to be as strict as you like!!
One of the GLs standing there later said the same thing: Yes, Mrs Foong is strict but the boys who come through her class tend to do very well. He says this from experience because he too, was from her class once. But, he also stressed, it still boils down to the boys, what they want, their attitude etc.
Later the GLs and Mrs Foong highlighted five boys whom they said had "done very well" in the camp and the boys stood up, looking a bit embarrassed but clearly happy to have a round of applause from all the parents and their classmates.
After giving each boy their 'prize' for winning one of the games/activities in the camp, the boys were dismissed.
It appears to me that the school seems to have very committed teachers who go out of their way for the boys. When we came for our impromptu visit last year and met Joey, that lovely boy who happens to be a GL too (we saw him there that night too and even before that, he had recognised KH and Isaac from the first day of registration!), Joey and the other student leader that brought us around told us that their teachers were first-rate - in that they genuinely cared for the boys and would spend time helping them and giving extra coaching where necessary. Even my neighbour Luke, who studies in St Gab's, said this.
I cynically dismissed it just a nice PR line. But from my interactions with the teachers during the registration, the campfire, I think Joey and Luke are right. I see in them, an enthusiasm for what they do, intense pride and loyalty for the school and caring commitment for the boys under their charge. And in the boys too, this very strong sense of school pride, bonding and school spirit. I did not see this in SJI Jr, nor in any of my other children's schools. In fact, the closest I have seen to this is 22 years ago in RJC and among my RI friends. That kind of palpable school pride and bonding. I certainly did not expect to get all this from St Gab's.
I think the people maketh the school. The students and the teachers are the face of the school. And if a school churns out well-mannered, helpful, proactive, respectful young men like Joey, Luke and the other GLs I saw that night, and has committed and passionate teachers like Mr Foo and Mrs Foong on their staff, right down to the very helpful school clerk we met earlier, then the school must be doing something right. This is the heartware they have gotten down to a 'T'. The 'hardware' - ie the L1B4, the other achievements etc, is just one part of the picture.
I only wish more people knew about this, knew about what this school could offer. Maybe then, it would not be a 'no-choice first choice' as it was for me. Bluntly put, it would not languish behind the other more prestigious Catholic boys' schools like Maris Stella, Catholic High or SJI, as what I can best describe as a 'second-tier' school, and instead, come to the fore as a boys' school of choice.
I came away with a real buzz of excitement from what I had seen from the campfire, from seeing Mrs Foong, the GLs etc. Maybe its early days yet but I believe Isaac is in good hands and I thank God for this - truly, He knows best. Despite my lamenting about Isaac not getting to SJI, He knows best and put us on this path. Yes, St Gab's was not my first choice and really was a choice that arose out of a lack of other viable choices. But in the days that have passed, in the people I have met, what I have seen and through all I have encountered, I am slowly changing my mind.
Whether or not he eventually does well and makes it to a good JC is one thing. But here, character-wise, I suspect this place will be the making of him.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Hello 2009!
We started 2009 on a sober note. Actually, we start every new year on a sober note.
It has been a family tradition to visit my grand-dad at the columbarium on New Year's Day every year since 2002 because 1 Jan is his death anniversary. And since Popo had died in July last year and her ashes interred in the same niche, we visited her as well.
We all spent some quiet time thinking our own private thoughts while the younger kids scampered quite irreverently around the columbarium. No one cried and there were smiles and some of us blew kisses and touched the cold marble of the niche. No mourning, quiet reminisces, lots of smiles and the occasional sound of laughter from the children to remind us that amid death, there is love, laughter and life.
Death anniversary or no, I think it is fitting to start every new year with a few minutes of thought and silent prayer for absent loved ones. Good for us too because we are reminded that we are given a new year, new chances, new opportunities and yet one thing never changes - that we are all mortal, we have one life to live, we have to make the best of this. What does a new year celebrate anyway, but a new beginning. I think this is quite fitting.
Whenever I think of Popo, Grandad, Marc, and the many people I love who have gone away, I feel a bit sad but optimistic too. I know that somewhere out there, they are in a good place and we will see them again one day. And while we have our countdowns and our celebrations in our mortal world, I'm sure the dead have their own milestones and timekeeping to reflect and celebrate too. They would not be far from us since they are in our thoughts.
It occurred to me that it has also been a year since Marc's death on Dec 23 2007. Since his ashes were scattered at Sepang, there is no physical 'memorial' to visit. It left me feeling a bit unsettled. We had our Christmas Eve party at Aunty Peg's place, but aside from a photograph of him, there was no other memorial there. The feeling was that he was just somewhere else, perhaps with a friend or travelling, not that he was gone. It was a strange feeling to have but not unfamiliar since Marc has been absent for several Christmases before his passing.
Still, I was very aware of the date. I guessed it must be hard on Aunty Pegs since Ryan was also away. I think she feels the loss keenly since the 24th was just a day after his death anniversary. As a mother myself now, I also feel a sympathetic grief. Still, I didn't know what to say to Aunty Peg. She didn't bring it up and I couldn't bring myself to either. It was just a feeling that was hanging there. Right at the end of the night, as I left, I gave her quick hug about her shoulders, saying nothing but feeling so much. Maybe she understood what I meant.
All this has left me wondering - mum wants her ashes scattered when it was her time to go. But what would I have left of her here with me? Selfish I know, but I know I would miss her so incredibly it would be unbearably sad to let all of her go into a sea somewhere as fish food, and to have nothing of her here. Also made me think - what about me? When it is time to go, where would I go?
Maybe it is better to just live with memories instead of having a physical space in a columbarium. No need for people to visit you, pay for literally what is a hole in a wall... no obligations, since we all came from dust and to dust and nothingness we will return. Perhaps that is the way life should be and maybe we hold onto our grief less if we let go early.
But there is a part of me that worries that memories fade and get sepia-toned by time. What then, do we have left of the one we loved so much? I jokingly asked mum if I could keep a bone fragment with me - maybe her pinky bone! - and she was shocked enough to object immediately. My aunt who was listening to all this said, no lah, you have to keep it all together! But, I countered, the very act of tossing the ashes into the sea means all would be scattered, so what was the difference between that and keeping one teensy bit? The conversation was clearly degenerating into the ludicrous.
The rest of the early afternoon passed with drinks and lunch with everybody, just catching up with each other and eagerly discussing the latest developments in that hit TV serial The Little Nyonya ("aiyoh, so many details all salah!" lamented Aunty Sue). Popo, true blue Nonya that she was, would have loved the serial though! The conversation spanned Hamas, real Nonya traditions and the intricacies of Pri 4 math before we all reluctantly stood up to leave.
Half of us then went to Borders where we had a great shopping spree. I had a 50% discount and my cousin promptly blew about $150 on Neil Gaiman's graphic novels. "It would have been much more!" he protested when our eyebrows shot up at the bill. Isaac and I gleefully shopped for books too and we took home about 10 books though the bill for our haul was more modest at $23 - after we used up all our Borders vouchers.
Lunch was late and prosaically chicken rice at popo's favourite chicken rice stall in the market in Lorong One. Dinner was simply rice with home-cooked chicken curry which I hadn't done for a long time and which garnered rave reviews from the children and three helpings of rice from just Owain alone! All of which is extremely gratifying to this sometime mummy-cook.
Then it was off to buy last minute stationery, home to watch The Little Nyonya and then packing all the kids off to bed the instant the show ended.
Thus ended the first day of the New Year.
Happy 2009!
We started 2009 on a sober note. Actually, we start every new year on a sober note.
It has been a family tradition to visit my grand-dad at the columbarium on New Year's Day every year since 2002 because 1 Jan is his death anniversary. And since Popo had died in July last year and her ashes interred in the same niche, we visited her as well.
We all spent some quiet time thinking our own private thoughts while the younger kids scampered quite irreverently around the columbarium. No one cried and there were smiles and some of us blew kisses and touched the cold marble of the niche. No mourning, quiet reminisces, lots of smiles and the occasional sound of laughter from the children to remind us that amid death, there is love, laughter and life.
Death anniversary or no, I think it is fitting to start every new year with a few minutes of thought and silent prayer for absent loved ones. Good for us too because we are reminded that we are given a new year, new chances, new opportunities and yet one thing never changes - that we are all mortal, we have one life to live, we have to make the best of this. What does a new year celebrate anyway, but a new beginning. I think this is quite fitting.
Whenever I think of Popo, Grandad, Marc, and the many people I love who have gone away, I feel a bit sad but optimistic too. I know that somewhere out there, they are in a good place and we will see them again one day. And while we have our countdowns and our celebrations in our mortal world, I'm sure the dead have their own milestones and timekeeping to reflect and celebrate too. They would not be far from us since they are in our thoughts.
It occurred to me that it has also been a year since Marc's death on Dec 23 2007. Since his ashes were scattered at Sepang, there is no physical 'memorial' to visit. It left me feeling a bit unsettled. We had our Christmas Eve party at Aunty Peg's place, but aside from a photograph of him, there was no other memorial there. The feeling was that he was just somewhere else, perhaps with a friend or travelling, not that he was gone. It was a strange feeling to have but not unfamiliar since Marc has been absent for several Christmases before his passing.
Still, I was very aware of the date. I guessed it must be hard on Aunty Pegs since Ryan was also away. I think she feels the loss keenly since the 24th was just a day after his death anniversary. As a mother myself now, I also feel a sympathetic grief. Still, I didn't know what to say to Aunty Peg. She didn't bring it up and I couldn't bring myself to either. It was just a feeling that was hanging there. Right at the end of the night, as I left, I gave her quick hug about her shoulders, saying nothing but feeling so much. Maybe she understood what I meant.
All this has left me wondering - mum wants her ashes scattered when it was her time to go. But what would I have left of her here with me? Selfish I know, but I know I would miss her so incredibly it would be unbearably sad to let all of her go into a sea somewhere as fish food, and to have nothing of her here. Also made me think - what about me? When it is time to go, where would I go?
Maybe it is better to just live with memories instead of having a physical space in a columbarium. No need for people to visit you, pay for literally what is a hole in a wall... no obligations, since we all came from dust and to dust and nothingness we will return. Perhaps that is the way life should be and maybe we hold onto our grief less if we let go early.
But there is a part of me that worries that memories fade and get sepia-toned by time. What then, do we have left of the one we loved so much? I jokingly asked mum if I could keep a bone fragment with me - maybe her pinky bone! - and she was shocked enough to object immediately. My aunt who was listening to all this said, no lah, you have to keep it all together! But, I countered, the very act of tossing the ashes into the sea means all would be scattered, so what was the difference between that and keeping one teensy bit? The conversation was clearly degenerating into the ludicrous.
The rest of the early afternoon passed with drinks and lunch with everybody, just catching up with each other and eagerly discussing the latest developments in that hit TV serial The Little Nyonya ("aiyoh, so many details all salah!" lamented Aunty Sue). Popo, true blue Nonya that she was, would have loved the serial though! The conversation spanned Hamas, real Nonya traditions and the intricacies of Pri 4 math before we all reluctantly stood up to leave.
Half of us then went to Borders where we had a great shopping spree. I had a 50% discount and my cousin promptly blew about $150 on Neil Gaiman's graphic novels. "It would have been much more!" he protested when our eyebrows shot up at the bill. Isaac and I gleefully shopped for books too and we took home about 10 books though the bill for our haul was more modest at $23 - after we used up all our Borders vouchers.
Lunch was late and prosaically chicken rice at popo's favourite chicken rice stall in the market in Lorong One. Dinner was simply rice with home-cooked chicken curry which I hadn't done for a long time and which garnered rave reviews from the children and three helpings of rice from just Owain alone! All of which is extremely gratifying to this sometime mummy-cook.
Then it was off to buy last minute stationery, home to watch The Little Nyonya and then packing all the kids off to bed the instant the show ended.
Thus ended the first day of the New Year.
Happy 2009!
Quiet end to 2008
After three weeks of long leave, I was back in the office on Monday, but off again on Tuesday before New Year's Eve.
My day off saw the kids (including Trin) parked at my SIL's place. The older kids had begged to stay over an extra night. So KH sent Trin over the next morning to play as well.
It was lovely and peaceful to have the whole house (and the silence!) to myself for half the morning. Then it was off to town for my facial at the Green Sanctuary. Gosh, I hadn't been there in ages and really looked forward to a rejuvenating session. And yes, what a great session I had. I took the Vit C facial and an eye treatment. It came with a head and back massage too which was bliss. I lay there in silent contentment from 11.45 to 2.20pm!! The only time I was tense and on high alert was during the zit extraction and the eyebrow shaping, wincing ever so often and bracing myself for the pain. What price beauty eh?
But the rest of the time, I just submitted to the lovely, soothing scrubs, compresses, masks and massages. Sheer decadence, but I think it was really money well-spent. I was in that half-state of utter relaxation and borderline consciousness, slipping in and out of short snoozes but awake enough to know that I emitted a gentle snore or two! I left with a nice spring to my step and my eyebrows nicely shaped! I must say that well-shaped and trim brows really DO make a difference to the face. But of course, never ask a man that. I asked KH at the end of the day if he noticed my lovely new brows and he just gave me a blank look!
The day ended with leisurely browsing at Tangs, Borders and KH, in one of his rare accomodatively obliging moods, came to have to dinner with me at Cedele at Wheelock, and patiently encouraged me to buy a blouse I was in two minds about. He even offered to pay for it!
Ah yes a lovely day indeed and a nice break between the madhouse of the past weeks and the work that is to come.
New Year's Eve was spent at ACM where we toured the galleries (found out that the Chinese believed in the 10 halls of 'hell' which is really not quite the brimstone-and-hellfire-eternal-condemnation sort, but more like purgatory! Interesting because I always thought purgatory was a Catholic concept!) had free ice-cream, and listened to great music.
The lawn outside the museum was full of people out to wait for the fireworks, getting free beers and ice-cream and of course, across the river, Boat Quay was teeming with people too. It was a nice night, not hot and quite balmy. We all sat on the green and ate ice-cream (mine was a sinful nod to the New Year and while it would not get me sloshed, the Baileys and Bourbon icecream from Udders was nice and 'alcoholish'. I fed Trin some and she liked it - far more than her sedately boring strawberry icecream. She kept coming back for more and when I gave her teensy servings, she demanded: "Big one please!" Later of course, as the 91.3FM DJs spun the latest R&B hits for the New Year countdown, Trin was happy to prance around and dance in her exuberant toddler fashion, stopping a couple of tourists in the tracks who grinned as they stood and watched.
We didn't last till midnight and came home by 11pm. I was so tired I crashed out while laying on the floor to 'relax' and didn't wake up until the countdown was over and it was officially 2009. The kids were, of course, widely awake and counting down enthusiastically! Ah gone are the days when I would be so alert at midnight and so enthusiastic about counting down the old year, thinking of resolutions etc!
After three weeks of long leave, I was back in the office on Monday, but off again on Tuesday before New Year's Eve.
My day off saw the kids (including Trin) parked at my SIL's place. The older kids had begged to stay over an extra night. So KH sent Trin over the next morning to play as well.
It was lovely and peaceful to have the whole house (and the silence!) to myself for half the morning. Then it was off to town for my facial at the Green Sanctuary. Gosh, I hadn't been there in ages and really looked forward to a rejuvenating session. And yes, what a great session I had. I took the Vit C facial and an eye treatment. It came with a head and back massage too which was bliss. I lay there in silent contentment from 11.45 to 2.20pm!! The only time I was tense and on high alert was during the zit extraction and the eyebrow shaping, wincing ever so often and bracing myself for the pain. What price beauty eh?
But the rest of the time, I just submitted to the lovely, soothing scrubs, compresses, masks and massages. Sheer decadence, but I think it was really money well-spent. I was in that half-state of utter relaxation and borderline consciousness, slipping in and out of short snoozes but awake enough to know that I emitted a gentle snore or two! I left with a nice spring to my step and my eyebrows nicely shaped! I must say that well-shaped and trim brows really DO make a difference to the face. But of course, never ask a man that. I asked KH at the end of the day if he noticed my lovely new brows and he just gave me a blank look!
The day ended with leisurely browsing at Tangs, Borders and KH, in one of his rare accomodatively obliging moods, came to have to dinner with me at Cedele at Wheelock, and patiently encouraged me to buy a blouse I was in two minds about. He even offered to pay for it!
Ah yes a lovely day indeed and a nice break between the madhouse of the past weeks and the work that is to come.
New Year's Eve was spent at ACM where we toured the galleries (found out that the Chinese believed in the 10 halls of 'hell' which is really not quite the brimstone-and-hellfire-eternal-condemnation sort, but more like purgatory! Interesting because I always thought purgatory was a Catholic concept!) had free ice-cream, and listened to great music.
The lawn outside the museum was full of people out to wait for the fireworks, getting free beers and ice-cream and of course, across the river, Boat Quay was teeming with people too. It was a nice night, not hot and quite balmy. We all sat on the green and ate ice-cream (mine was a sinful nod to the New Year and while it would not get me sloshed, the Baileys and Bourbon icecream from Udders was nice and 'alcoholish'. I fed Trin some and she liked it - far more than her sedately boring strawberry icecream. She kept coming back for more and when I gave her teensy servings, she demanded: "Big one please!" Later of course, as the 91.3FM DJs spun the latest R&B hits for the New Year countdown, Trin was happy to prance around and dance in her exuberant toddler fashion, stopping a couple of tourists in the tracks who grinned as they stood and watched.
We didn't last till midnight and came home by 11pm. I was so tired I crashed out while laying on the floor to 'relax' and didn't wake up until the countdown was over and it was officially 2009. The kids were, of course, widely awake and counting down enthusiastically! Ah gone are the days when I would be so alert at midnight and so enthusiastic about counting down the old year, thinking of resolutions etc!
Monday, December 29, 2008
"Because I'm awesome!"
Owain's spouting lots of these little gems these days and KH thought I should put this on the blog. There's this cheeky, in-your-face, snarkiness about this boy. Unlike his sober and more restrained older brother, Owain is full of boyish playful exuberance, loves his kung-fu moves and greets me by going: "Haaaaiiii-yah!!" He loves physical horseplay and loves to annoy his older brother and sister. He says the darndest things that always threatens to make me explode with laughter even when I am trying to be stern, and he really exasperates us all because he usually has a smart-alecky comeback that leaves the other party sputtering in the conversation. I think he's very much like Calvin in Calvin and Hobbes.
He's also the only one in the family who has decided, quite firmly, what he wants to be in life already. The others are still waffling along, but this boy seems very sure and sounds determined - very cute!
This little exchange took place the other day between us :
"Mummy, I am going to be prime minister one day!"
"Yeah? Why?"
"Because I have one million burps in my tummy!"
"So? Why does that make you special enough to be prime minister?"
"Because... I'm awesome!!"
"Hey you know, prime ministers have to be elected. What if the people don't want you to be prime minister?"
"Then I'll get the police to arrest them all!"
"That's a dictatorship and the police are not going to be happy. Very likely they will arrest YOU instead!"
"Ah, then I will call the army in and arrest the police too!"
"The army? What if they also listen to the people and to the police?"
"Oh they won't! The army does not live in the city. They live far away so they don't know what's going on and so they will come when I call and they will listen to me..."
Okay by this time, I'm just rolling around laughing. All I can think of is, pity the Thais didn't have a guy like him on board. There would be none of that Suvarnabhumi sit-in rubbish for sure! We're looking at the next Big Dictator here, heh...
Owain's spouting lots of these little gems these days and KH thought I should put this on the blog. There's this cheeky, in-your-face, snarkiness about this boy. Unlike his sober and more restrained older brother, Owain is full of boyish playful exuberance, loves his kung-fu moves and greets me by going: "Haaaaiiii-yah!!" He loves physical horseplay and loves to annoy his older brother and sister. He says the darndest things that always threatens to make me explode with laughter even when I am trying to be stern, and he really exasperates us all because he usually has a smart-alecky comeback that leaves the other party sputtering in the conversation. I think he's very much like Calvin in Calvin and Hobbes.
He's also the only one in the family who has decided, quite firmly, what he wants to be in life already. The others are still waffling along, but this boy seems very sure and sounds determined - very cute!
This little exchange took place the other day between us :
"Mummy, I am going to be prime minister one day!"
"Yeah? Why?"
"Because I have one million burps in my tummy!"
"So? Why does that make you special enough to be prime minister?"
"Because... I'm awesome!!"
"Hey you know, prime ministers have to be elected. What if the people don't want you to be prime minister?"
"Then I'll get the police to arrest them all!"
"That's a dictatorship and the police are not going to be happy. Very likely they will arrest YOU instead!"
"Ah, then I will call the army in and arrest the police too!"
"The army? What if they also listen to the people and to the police?"
"Oh they won't! The army does not live in the city. They live far away so they don't know what's going on and so they will come when I call and they will listen to me...
Okay by this time, I'm just rolling around laughing. All I can think of is, pity the Thais didn't have a guy like him on board. There would be none of that Suvarnabhumi sit-in rubbish for sure! We're looking at the next Big Dictator here, heh...
Malaysia trip report
Maybe because its a case of 'been-there-done-that' already, or possibly a trip that's a tad too long - 14 days is the longest we've spent in Malaysia - but I found this trip to be a bit blah. We mostly visited the places we'd been before, the exception being a longer stint on Pangkor this time.
What was more interesting for me, was to turn travel critic and critique the various places we stayed at during the trip. Either I am no longer enchanted with Malaysia and hence, am more demanding and critical, or their standards are really not up to speed. I will post the reviews on the Big on Trips site.
Accomodation and hotel standards aside, I did enjoy the food, as always, and the shopping. There was a nation-wide sale going on. With the generous discounts and the low ringgit, we had quite a lot of value-for-money purchases. I bought a cute orange and pink Baby Gap swimsuit for Trin which cost me RM19.90 or SGD$8.40. We bought original tee-shirts from Diesel and Bum Equipment as Christmas gifts and these averaged about RM24.50 or SGD$10.80 (after a 50% discount) apiece. A green hooded sweater for Caitlin was originally RM65, but after a 50% discount, it went to RM32.50 or SGD$13.65. Gillian needed wearable tees and shorts (her dad drew the line at micro-minis) and we picked up 2 pairs of shorts for RM60 (SGD$26.21) and three funky tees for RM50 (SGD$21).
After days of subsisting on hawker fare, we decided to have some sushi at the conveyor belt chain Sushi King. This was at KLCC. We took up two tables and polished off more than 40 plates of sushi. I think the total bill came up to RM160 or SGD$67. This was not unusual to us. Whenever our family eats at conveyor belt sushi joints in Singapore, we tote up a bill of about SGD$120. So at SDG$67, this was a real bargain. The people at Sushi King, from the wait-staff to the cashier, could not believe their eyes. They had to double count the plates to be sure. The cashier also commented that this was an all-time record for them - they'd never seen so many plates at one go! And this was not some out-of-the-way joint in a backward mall which might not see this kind of action - this was KLCC! I almost wanted to take a bow.
Have to say though, that I would not eat at Sushi King again. The salmon was raw, yes, but it did not look right - it looked like it came from a manufactured, long-frozen slab of fish - stiff, a bit flakey and orangey-pink.
The other meals were more memorable. I discovered a yummilicious stall in my usual food centre haunt in Malacca that fried up a delicious plate of sambal belachan razor clams. You know how it is when you fall in love, or when you get an Eureka moment? When all the elements of the universe meet and are at one for the first time in a long time? THAT is exactly how I felt when I took my first mouthful of the sambal belachan clams. I honestly felt like weeping for sheer joy! Seriously, I was literally moaning as I ate! Slurped up every last bit of punchy dark red belachan sauce with my rice. You could choose the type of clams you wanted so I had a combination of razor clams and bamboo clams. Simply fantastic stuff! And all for the grand total of RM8.00 (SGD$3.36).
Since we're talking food now, I'll just zoom through the rest of the foodie highlights.
We also had fantastic dim sum in a grungy coffee-shop in the heart of Georgetown, populated by an incongruous mix of ah peks in singlets and tycoons wearing linen and rolexes. A hearty meal of pau, har kow (fat and thick with prawns), carrot cake, and other assorted steamed tidbits which cost us RM49 or SGD20.60 for all of us!
In Ipoh the novelty of Ong Kee's silky Ipoh hor fun was wearing thin after the nth time we'd had this (which is pretty much every time we're in Ipoh) . It was as smooth as ever, sliding down the throat in a sweet, savoury chicken broth, paired with the caustic bite of green chilli padis in soya sauce. But for us, I think we were a bit jaded. The next night's meal in a nearby hawker centre called Hilltop Cafe, met with greater enthusiasm from the kids. And yes, the food was rollicking good too - we called all the usual suspects - fried kway tiao, wanton mee in black sauce, satay and fried chicken wings. The meal, as all meals at the hawker centres, never went beyond RM30 max (SGD$12.60).
In Penang, we paid homage at the usual food destinations - Lorong Selamat's fried kway teow and ice kachang (topped with creamy vanilla ice-cream and always generously coated in milk unlike the Singaporean versions where I usually have to request for more milk), Pulau Tikus corner coffee-shop, another corner coffee shop off Jalan Burmah with its fabulous Hokkien char (they pretty much fry up any type of noodle, any way you like it. But in Penang, eat as the Hokkiens do and try the traditional dark brown Hokkien version!) and of course, we like the restaurant at the Chinese Recreation Club. We had assam curry prawns, steamed tofu topped with a dark mix of minced pork, mushrooms, salted fish and chives (yummy!), roast chix, sweet and sour fish (nicely done with the batter thin, the slabs of fish fresh and generous in their portions!).
The kids had a gala time, sleeping at midnight or past one, glued to the Disney channel. We don't have cable at home, so this is their only time to wig out on cable! They also enjoyed a lot of pool or water time - pools at the resorts we stayed in, and in the waters off Pangkor.
At Pangkor, we visited Telok Nipah - nice soft warm beige sand and family-friendly beach. We also paid about RM70 for all of us to perch onto one teensy boat with an outboard motor which zoomed us around the waters to an outlying island where we saw plentiful sea urchins and sea cucumbers beneath deeply emerald waters, and then to another island where the kids snorkelled and fed fish. I had a hard time keeping Trin on the beach (not quite a beach - very rocky with lots of dead coral and unfortunately, substantial rubbish and broken glass so we had to tread very carefully). To placate her while the others snorkelled with KH, we stood ankle deep in the shallows - and even then, there were tiny fish coming up and swimming around us. The kids were enthusiastic and Cait said she spotted clownfish in the waters. KH said the water was dirty though and visibility not as good as it should be. Also, the corals are dying. I think tourism in Pangkor is killing the golden goose that lays the egg. Too many jet skis, too many tourists, too much rubbish and debris.
On Penang's Batu Ferringhi, this is the same sad story. We could not even play on the beach and forget about the kids building sandcastles because idiotic parasailers could come flying in at any minute and land right on top of you. We tried to take a walk on the beach and in less than 10 minutes, had to clear the way for parasailers landing, no less than 3 times. Each time, the handlers would be yelling at people to get out of the way or look out for incoming parasailers. The parasailing also looked dangerous to me because people didn't seem to know how to land safely. We could hear the operators yelling instructions to the parasailers who either didn't hear or didn't register the instructions because they all landed in a tangle of legs flat on the sand! You also had to look out for people on pony rides, jet skis zooming in and out of the water... It was chaotic, noisy and just impossible to sit on the beach and enjoy it. Okay, not that there was much to enjoy anyway since the water was murky brown! After 10min on the beach, we gave up and went back to the hotel pool.
Malacca as always, was a haven for us, but we could not use the pool - it had turned an alarming shade of radioactive green! But familiarity meant comfort and we always feel as if we were coming home whenever we step onto Malaccan soil. This trip though, even Malacca threw up surprises - we spotted no less than 8 monitor lizards (large ones, mind you!), fat mudskippers and an interesting brown bird with long legs (don't know the name) in the mangroves of the Malacca River, right in the heart of town. The almost 2-km walk on newly constructed board walks was a real treat. Even in Sungei Buloh, you don't get to see so many monitor lizards, so we were really enthralled by the sight of so many. It took us about an hour to meander through the walk, but after a hearty meal of wanton mee and prawn noodles, this bit of exercise was just the thing.
Okay, detailed food and hotel reviews on Big On Trips coming up.
Maybe because its a case of 'been-there-done-that' already, or possibly a trip that's a tad too long - 14 days is the longest we've spent in Malaysia - but I found this trip to be a bit blah. We mostly visited the places we'd been before, the exception being a longer stint on Pangkor this time.
What was more interesting for me, was to turn travel critic and critique the various places we stayed at during the trip. Either I am no longer enchanted with Malaysia and hence, am more demanding and critical, or their standards are really not up to speed. I will post the reviews on the Big on Trips site.
Accomodation and hotel standards aside, I did enjoy the food, as always, and the shopping. There was a nation-wide sale going on. With the generous discounts and the low ringgit, we had quite a lot of value-for-money purchases. I bought a cute orange and pink Baby Gap swimsuit for Trin which cost me RM19.90 or SGD$8.40. We bought original tee-shirts from Diesel and Bum Equipment as Christmas gifts and these averaged about RM24.50 or SGD$10.80 (after a 50% discount) apiece. A green hooded sweater for Caitlin was originally RM65, but after a 50% discount, it went to RM32.50 or SGD$13.65. Gillian needed wearable tees and shorts (her dad drew the line at micro-minis) and we picked up 2 pairs of shorts for RM60 (SGD$26.21) and three funky tees for RM50 (SGD$21).
After days of subsisting on hawker fare, we decided to have some sushi at the conveyor belt chain Sushi King. This was at KLCC. We took up two tables and polished off more than 40 plates of sushi. I think the total bill came up to RM160 or SGD$67. This was not unusual to us. Whenever our family eats at conveyor belt sushi joints in Singapore, we tote up a bill of about SGD$120. So at SDG$67, this was a real bargain. The people at Sushi King, from the wait-staff to the cashier, could not believe their eyes. They had to double count the plates to be sure. The cashier also commented that this was an all-time record for them - they'd never seen so many plates at one go! And this was not some out-of-the-way joint in a backward mall which might not see this kind of action - this was KLCC! I almost wanted to take a bow.
Have to say though, that I would not eat at Sushi King again. The salmon was raw, yes, but it did not look right - it looked like it came from a manufactured, long-frozen slab of fish - stiff, a bit flakey and orangey-pink.
The other meals were more memorable. I discovered a yummilicious stall in my usual food centre haunt in Malacca that fried up a delicious plate of sambal belachan razor clams. You know how it is when you fall in love, or when you get an Eureka moment? When all the elements of the universe meet and are at one for the first time in a long time? THAT is exactly how I felt when I took my first mouthful of the sambal belachan clams. I honestly felt like weeping for sheer joy! Seriously, I was literally moaning as I ate! Slurped up every last bit of punchy dark red belachan sauce with my rice. You could choose the type of clams you wanted so I had a combination of razor clams and bamboo clams. Simply fantastic stuff! And all for the grand total of RM8.00 (SGD$3.36).
Since we're talking food now, I'll just zoom through the rest of the foodie highlights.
We also had fantastic dim sum in a grungy coffee-shop in the heart of Georgetown, populated by an incongruous mix of ah peks in singlets and tycoons wearing linen and rolexes. A hearty meal of pau, har kow (fat and thick with prawns), carrot cake, and other assorted steamed tidbits which cost us RM49 or SGD20.60 for all of us!
In Ipoh the novelty of Ong Kee's silky Ipoh hor fun was wearing thin after the nth time we'd had this (which is pretty much every time we're in Ipoh) . It was as smooth as ever, sliding down the throat in a sweet, savoury chicken broth, paired with the caustic bite of green chilli padis in soya sauce. But for us, I think we were a bit jaded. The next night's meal in a nearby hawker centre called Hilltop Cafe, met with greater enthusiasm from the kids. And yes, the food was rollicking good too - we called all the usual suspects - fried kway tiao, wanton mee in black sauce, satay and fried chicken wings. The meal, as all meals at the hawker centres, never went beyond RM30 max (SGD$12.60).
In Penang, we paid homage at the usual food destinations - Lorong Selamat's fried kway teow and ice kachang (topped with creamy vanilla ice-cream and always generously coated in milk unlike the Singaporean versions where I usually have to request for more milk), Pulau Tikus corner coffee-shop, another corner coffee shop off Jalan Burmah with its fabulous Hokkien char (they pretty much fry up any type of noodle, any way you like it. But in Penang, eat as the Hokkiens do and try the traditional dark brown Hokkien version!) and of course, we like the restaurant at the Chinese Recreation Club. We had assam curry prawns, steamed tofu topped with a dark mix of minced pork, mushrooms, salted fish and chives (yummy!), roast chix, sweet and sour fish (nicely done with the batter thin, the slabs of fish fresh and generous in their portions!).
The kids had a gala time, sleeping at midnight or past one, glued to the Disney channel. We don't have cable at home, so this is their only time to wig out on cable! They also enjoyed a lot of pool or water time - pools at the resorts we stayed in, and in the waters off Pangkor.
At Pangkor, we visited Telok Nipah - nice soft warm beige sand and family-friendly beach. We also paid about RM70 for all of us to perch onto one teensy boat with an outboard motor which zoomed us around the waters to an outlying island where we saw plentiful sea urchins and sea cucumbers beneath deeply emerald waters, and then to another island where the kids snorkelled and fed fish. I had a hard time keeping Trin on the beach (not quite a beach - very rocky with lots of dead coral and unfortunately, substantial rubbish and broken glass so we had to tread very carefully). To placate her while the others snorkelled with KH, we stood ankle deep in the shallows - and even then, there were tiny fish coming up and swimming around us. The kids were enthusiastic and Cait said she spotted clownfish in the waters. KH said the water was dirty though and visibility not as good as it should be. Also, the corals are dying. I think tourism in Pangkor is killing the golden goose that lays the egg. Too many jet skis, too many tourists, too much rubbish and debris.
On Penang's Batu Ferringhi, this is the same sad story. We could not even play on the beach and forget about the kids building sandcastles because idiotic parasailers could come flying in at any minute and land right on top of you. We tried to take a walk on the beach and in less than 10 minutes, had to clear the way for parasailers landing, no less than 3 times. Each time, the handlers would be yelling at people to get out of the way or look out for incoming parasailers. The parasailing also looked dangerous to me because people didn't seem to know how to land safely. We could hear the operators yelling instructions to the parasailers who either didn't hear or didn't register the instructions because they all landed in a tangle of legs flat on the sand! You also had to look out for people on pony rides, jet skis zooming in and out of the water... It was chaotic, noisy and just impossible to sit on the beach and enjoy it. Okay, not that there was much to enjoy anyway since the water was murky brown! After 10min on the beach, we gave up and went back to the hotel pool.
Malacca as always, was a haven for us, but we could not use the pool - it had turned an alarming shade of radioactive green! But familiarity meant comfort and we always feel as if we were coming home whenever we step onto Malaccan soil. This trip though, even Malacca threw up surprises - we spotted no less than 8 monitor lizards (large ones, mind you!), fat mudskippers and an interesting brown bird with long legs (don't know the name) in the mangroves of the Malacca River, right in the heart of town. The almost 2-km walk on newly constructed board walks was a real treat. Even in Sungei Buloh, you don't get to see so many monitor lizards, so we were really enthralled by the sight of so many. It took us about an hour to meander through the walk, but after a hearty meal of wanton mee and prawn noodles, this bit of exercise was just the thing.
Okay, detailed food and hotel reviews on Big On Trips coming up.
My week as a SAHM
Lolita has returned from her 3-week long vaca in the Philippines - thank God! First thing she did when she saw me was to grin and say: "See? I said I would, and I did!" She was talking about us being sceptical that she would come back. We have had helpers before who went home on vaca and never came back to us, so understandably we were a bit sceptical about her coming back to Singapore. Well I am glad that she proved me wrong.
Our Malaysia trip took up 2 out of the three weeks that she was gone. But that still left me with one week of SAHM-dom.
To tell you the truth, I was apprehensive - could I hack it? Five kids. Laundry. Cooking. Dishwashing. Sweeping. Mopping. In one endless spin cycle. My mother shook her head worriedly when she found out I would be maid-less for a while. A good girl friend grinned and summed it all up: The tai-tai finally gets to work the kitchen - good luck pal!
The first couple of days were hard. Lots of gritted teeth with the mounds of laundry etc, especially with post-trip laundry. I tried to ignore the grotty floor initially but after the 2nd day when we'd been home, we were all going about with blackened soles, so I decided that enough was enough - cannot avoid mopping and sweeping anymore. So I bit the bullet. The first time I did it, I was dripping in sweat by the time I was done - but I felt good. Not as bad as I thought.
We also tried to eat out a lot but found that to be costly and boring after a bit. So I tried cooking. Honestly, I have not cooked for a long time but its like riding a bike - you never quite forget. I was apprehensive about burning rice though, since I can't quite remember how much water to use. But it turned out fine - soft and fluffy enough.
I enjoyed the cooking and the kids had nice things to say - bless 'em! But the killer was the washing up. My gosh. By the end of the HOUR - I kid you not - I was seriously contemplating installing a dishwasher. Never mind the higher electricity cost and the water outlay. My back was seriously killing me by the time I was done. Yes, I could get the kids to help but I also suffer from being a bit anal about processes so I'd rather DIY than risk gunky or broken crockery at the hands of the kids. That first time after that massive washing up, cleaning the sink etc, I think I suffered an allergic reaction. That night, in my sleep, my left hand itched and burned incredibly. I remember scratching and rubbing furiously in a semi-sleep.
By the end of the week, though, just before Lolita came home, I was actually falling into a nice rhythm. Sweeping and mopping on alternate days early in the morning, then enjoying the morning papers before the kids got up. Doing the laundry - putting the clothes to wash, hanging them out in the sun to dry, the fresh smell of sun-dried clothes, ironing, folding etc. There is a nice rhythm to this that I really enjoyed.
I certainly enjoyed cooking. I was even beginning to tolerate dishwashing. On one of the days when I decided to play hooky to maid-dom, I brought all five kids out with me by public bus to Parkway Parade. We had sushi at Sakuraya and then ice-cream - and we had a nice time. Trin had become used to me pottering about in the house and in the kitchen and I to her, being around, playing with the clothes pegs, pots etc. And for the first time in a long time, I had a lot less computer time but I didn't mind.
"You know," I commented to KH. "Its not so bad not having a maid around. I could get used to this."
He agreed and we indulged in a brief one-minute fantasy about what it would be like to be maidless. I would have to quit my job, and the house would always be messy around the edges, we would have our own privacy back and the kids would bond with only us and not a stranger etc. It was perfectly do-able.
Of course that fantasy evaporated in a puff by the 27th, the day after Lolita came home.
I lay in bed, the sun on my face, a warm baby next to me. And the thought came: gotta get up and sweep/mop before the kids get up. And the next happy thought hot on its heels: Nahhh....
And that, dear friends, feels so sweet!
Lolita has returned from her 3-week long vaca in the Philippines - thank God! First thing she did when she saw me was to grin and say: "See? I said I would, and I did!" She was talking about us being sceptical that she would come back. We have had helpers before who went home on vaca and never came back to us, so understandably we were a bit sceptical about her coming back to Singapore. Well I am glad that she proved me wrong.
Our Malaysia trip took up 2 out of the three weeks that she was gone. But that still left me with one week of SAHM-dom.
To tell you the truth, I was apprehensive - could I hack it? Five kids. Laundry. Cooking. Dishwashing. Sweeping. Mopping. In one endless spin cycle. My mother shook her head worriedly when she found out I would be maid-less for a while. A good girl friend grinned and summed it all up: The tai-tai finally gets to work the kitchen - good luck pal!
The first couple of days were hard. Lots of gritted teeth with the mounds of laundry etc, especially with post-trip laundry. I tried to ignore the grotty floor initially but after the 2nd day when we'd been home, we were all going about with blackened soles, so I decided that enough was enough - cannot avoid mopping and sweeping anymore. So I bit the bullet. The first time I did it, I was dripping in sweat by the time I was done - but I felt good. Not as bad as I thought.
We also tried to eat out a lot but found that to be costly and boring after a bit. So I tried cooking. Honestly, I have not cooked for a long time but its like riding a bike - you never quite forget. I was apprehensive about burning rice though, since I can't quite remember how much water to use. But it turned out fine - soft and fluffy enough.
I enjoyed the cooking and the kids had nice things to say - bless 'em! But the killer was the washing up. My gosh. By the end of the HOUR - I kid you not - I was seriously contemplating installing a dishwasher. Never mind the higher electricity cost and the water outlay. My back was seriously killing me by the time I was done. Yes, I could get the kids to help but I also suffer from being a bit anal about processes so I'd rather DIY than risk gunky or broken crockery at the hands of the kids. That first time after that massive washing up, cleaning the sink etc, I think I suffered an allergic reaction. That night, in my sleep, my left hand itched and burned incredibly. I remember scratching and rubbing furiously in a semi-sleep.
By the end of the week, though, just before Lolita came home, I was actually falling into a nice rhythm. Sweeping and mopping on alternate days early in the morning, then enjoying the morning papers before the kids got up. Doing the laundry - putting the clothes to wash, hanging them out in the sun to dry, the fresh smell of sun-dried clothes, ironing, folding etc. There is a nice rhythm to this that I really enjoyed.
I certainly enjoyed cooking. I was even beginning to tolerate dishwashing. On one of the days when I decided to play hooky to maid-dom, I brought all five kids out with me by public bus to Parkway Parade. We had sushi at Sakuraya and then ice-cream - and we had a nice time. Trin had become used to me pottering about in the house and in the kitchen and I to her, being around, playing with the clothes pegs, pots etc. And for the first time in a long time, I had a lot less computer time but I didn't mind.
"You know," I commented to KH. "Its not so bad not having a maid around. I could get used to this."
He agreed and we indulged in a brief one-minute fantasy about what it would be like to be maidless. I would have to quit my job, and the house would always be messy around the edges, we would have our own privacy back and the kids would bond with only us and not a stranger etc. It was perfectly do-able.
Of course that fantasy evaporated in a puff by the 27th, the day after Lolita came home.
I lay in bed, the sun on my face, a warm baby next to me. And the thought came: gotta get up and sweep/mop before the kids get up. And the next happy thought hot on its heels: Nahhh....
And that, dear friends, feels so sweet!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Just catching up
It took about 14 days of being away in Malaysia for me to get some persective about the whole PSLE thing. So here I am, back and feeling more my old self.
The posting results came back and yes, Isaac was confirmed a place in St Gab's. We met several SJI Jr boys there too and Isaac discovered that about 10 of his classmates are here too, so this is good news for him. The principal seemed like an okay guy, not as firm or as dynamic as the St Pat's principal, but a good guy who seems to be doing good stuff for the school as well. They are going for autonomous school status and look likely to get it in a year or two, which will be good for the school. The Parent Teacher Support Group looks like a fun bunch of people, and I generally get good vibes. But for me, I think I am wearing too many hats already so I don't think I'll sign up as a volunteer.
We bought his uniforms, his books etc and it came up to more than $300. For Lit, he's doing Charlotte's Web and Street of the Small Night Market. For someone who now reads 'big boy books' from Garth Nix, Anthony Horowitz, Tom Clancy and Neil Gaiman, I think he might find the adventures of a pig/spider a bit kiddy. I hope that will not dampen any budding interest in Lit. I greatly enjoyed Lit classes and I hope he would too. Also flipped through his other text books - Geog and History look really interesting (though I wonder, with the Internet these days, one can get so much more out of Geog than what a mere text book can offer) and the Math made my eyes glaze over (but then it always did and I was happy to pass 'E' maths at 'O' levels with a C5!) but the Science looked more fun than it did when I was in Sec 1!
He's due for an overnight orientation camp and he's looking forward to it. I'm glad he's feeling more positive and hopeful. And I'm glad I'm feeling better and more optimistic too. As they say, just have to keep on moving forward. Looking back only turns you into a pillar of salt after all.
It took about 14 days of being away in Malaysia for me to get some persective about the whole PSLE thing. So here I am, back and feeling more my old self.
The posting results came back and yes, Isaac was confirmed a place in St Gab's. We met several SJI Jr boys there too and Isaac discovered that about 10 of his classmates are here too, so this is good news for him. The principal seemed like an okay guy, not as firm or as dynamic as the St Pat's principal, but a good guy who seems to be doing good stuff for the school as well. They are going for autonomous school status and look likely to get it in a year or two, which will be good for the school. The Parent Teacher Support Group looks like a fun bunch of people, and I generally get good vibes. But for me, I think I am wearing too many hats already so I don't think I'll sign up as a volunteer.
We bought his uniforms, his books etc and it came up to more than $300. For Lit, he's doing Charlotte's Web and Street of the Small Night Market. For someone who now reads 'big boy books' from Garth Nix, Anthony Horowitz, Tom Clancy and Neil Gaiman, I think he might find the adventures of a pig/spider a bit kiddy. I hope that will not dampen any budding interest in Lit. I greatly enjoyed Lit classes and I hope he would too. Also flipped through his other text books - Geog and History look really interesting (though I wonder, with the Internet these days, one can get so much more out of Geog than what a mere text book can offer) and the Math made my eyes glaze over (but then it always did and I was happy to pass 'E' maths at 'O' levels with a C5!) but the Science looked more fun than it did when I was in Sec 1!
He's due for an overnight orientation camp and he's looking forward to it. I'm glad he's feeling more positive and hopeful. And I'm glad I'm feeling better and more optimistic too. As they say, just have to keep on moving forward. Looking back only turns you into a pillar of salt after all.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Getting over it
The PSLE results are out and Isaac scored 229. First choice St Gabriel's, second choice St Pat's.
I was in shock for most of Nov 20. And I am still recovering and trying to get over it. Isaac - I think pretty much the same.
Will never forget looking at the results slip that day and feeling shock, dismay and disappointment wash all over me at one go. And then, marshalling every bit of self-control that is left, to comfort my boy. He was tearing away and I was babbling away that it was okay, he did great, not the end of the world if he could not get into SJI, blessing in disguise, God's will. Heck, I threw every cliched platitude I knew into the messy mix of comfort and klutz that I offered. I think most of it did not sink in.
Around us were kids and parents, clutching results slips, talking away in excitement. Isaac's P4 teacher Mr Phillip came by. He hugged Isaac and congratulated him for doing well. I caught Phillip's eye and mouthed: No SJI. He's rather upset. And Phillip poohed-poohed it, saying to Isaac, no you did good. Forget about SJI - its nothing. You did great.
Then Isaac's best friend and his parents came over. They checked out their results and then we were all in shock all over again. Patrick scored less than Isaac, despite 2 A*s. SJI was out for him too. What a day. So unexpected. But I was less concerned about Patrick than Isaac - he was still crying and I knew I had to get him out of school. So we said our goodbyes hastily and left.
I then messaged KH with the news. He called back immediately and demanded to know if this was my idea of a joke. Gosh, I wish it were. He demanded to speak to Isaac on the phone. Isaac shook his head. He couldn't get any words out, tears dripping everywhere. What could he say? Told the daddy it's no joke, his son can't talk and we'd discuss when we got home.
Isaac and I spent the rest of the day in a hollow space of disappointment and sadness. Me trying my best to lift his spirits, boost his now-shredded confidence level and pushing aside my own feelings of disbelief and sadness. We sought refuge at my mother's house. I noticed that for the first time, Isaac was not making a beeline for the computer. He was just happy to sit and talk with me and his Mama or be quiet and listen to us.
In the evening his daddy did not say much, just that we would go the next day, to St Pat's and St Gab's to check out our options.
We spent time in St Pat's and in St Gab's the next day. I liked St Pat's for the atmosphere, the old school buildings, the culture, the tradition, the strong alumni, the Catholic-ness of the school. I also liked the principal, I liked the way he turned the school around, I liked his forthright manner, his stand on discipline. More interestingly, I liked the idea that he was starting a scholarship class. This class of higher-end students would be offered more opportunities eg overseas trips, exposure to life sciences etc. While Isaac would not qualify for the scholarship, I thought he would stand a chance of being in the 'scholar class' - created for the higher-achievers in the PSLE. At 229, and given St Pat's highest entry aggregate this year was 234, he would certainly be at the higher end.
I didn't really warm to St Gab's. I thought it was like any other government school - in terms of its architecture, environment etc. There was not much information there on St Gab's either and there were no promising opportunities in terms of the curriculum. But the boys we met there were really nice and showed initiative, good people skills and one of them was also from SJI Junior, or as he retorted: St Michael's School! I was never a Josephian, only a Michaelian! Ah, so even their youngest alumni was not in favour of the school losing the St Michael's name to SJI.
The key points that were in favour of St Gab's were the distance (Isaac could walk to school) and the fact that the L1B4 scores were higher than St Pat's. The average L1B4 for St Pat's is 18 while St Gab's average L1B4 was 15. The school also has a special needs officer. We also met Isaac's classmate there and it later turned out that most of the boys in Isaac's class who did not make it to SJI will very likely end up in St Gab's. So that was comforting to Isaac.
We also visited SJI to check out the possibilities of an appeal. But at 229, its quite a long shot, and the school is expecting the cut-off to move up to 238. Had we put SJI as first choice, we would have had only a slim chance of getting in but would have lost St Gabs as first choice.
We had lunch with Patrick's parents and discussed all the issues, trying to clear up the murky waters. But it was hard. And we left lunch on Sunday, no clearer in purpose and intent than before. The weekend and early part of the week was spent mulling things through, trying to get through to St Pat's principal to find out more about the scholar class and Isaac's odds (we didn't get much headway there).
After angsting over it for so long, we finally submitted the S1 form last night. I did tell Isaac that we just have to move on and take any painful lessons in our stride. SJI is not totally gone - he does have the option of taking the entrance test next year for Sec 2 transfers. But Isaac does not seem keen. Right now, he just seems wary of another setback, another rejection. He's not even in favour of St Pat's because he might not get into the 'scholar class'. I think his choice in St Gab's stemmed a great deal from just playing it safe and licking his wounds for now.
I also had soul-searching to do. It ranged from the trivial to the serious - did I hex him in any way? Maybe it was better if I didn't have that silly dream about him scoring so highly in the exam. Maybe I should have stayed away from school when he got his results then I would not have jinxed him. Should have worn the other lucky t-shirt. Should not have stepped on the cracks in the pavement. Should not have washed hair the night before. All these idle, trivial thoughts, bordering on the superstitious - wishing things could be different and wondering how they went wrong.
But I also pondered on other issues. Was I off the mark to expect him to do better? Is that really the best he can do? Is that a true indicator of his abilities? Was I overly confident of his abilities? Can you 'over-believe' in someone? Can I please walk my talk and not compare my children's achievements? Can I please just stop mouthing off on education bla-bla-bla on AP and looking like a horse's rear end right now?
I've come to realise that no, I can't 'over-believe' in my children. I believe in them and what they can do. I still believe Isaac could have done better. I don't believe the PSLE is the be-all and end-all of academic success. Yes, it is hard when we realise he can't make the grade. But in the grand scheme of things, its early days yet and Isaac has a long way to go. As KH said, better for him to get this kind of disappointment and setback now, then he learns a hard but valuable lesson about life, expectations, confidence, humility, complacency, drive, determination and hunger. Hopefully this will make him a better, stronger person.
As to the rest - re mouthing off on AP etc - yes. Lie low. Lick wounds. Whine a lot. :-)
And me, I am learning from this too - about myself, my own expectations, about friendship etc. I've realised how much of a lonely place I am in. When things go well, the congratulations will naturally flow in. People are attracted to success like moths to the light. But when the road darkens, who walks with me? I feel like a bit of a pariah leper these days. I have had only ONE message of comfort and support since Nov 20. But for the most part, I have also been met with an ominous silence from many whom I thought would understand and provide support and comfort. And gee, the silence is deafening.
Maybe people don't know what to say. Awkward situation after all. Feels kinda like a funeral when you really don't know how to dish out the condolences.
Well I don't want any faux, oily condolences - these days I am so hyper-sensitive I detect insincerity a mile off. I don't want anyone pussy-footing it around me. Yes, my son did not do as well as I thought he would. No, it seems he was not good enough. Yes many others did much better. I wish people would just be upfront about it, acknowledge my feelings and help me move on. Don't tiptoe around it, don't be silent and pretend all is fine and dandy. I just need someone to listen to me when I rant about my disappointment and then, when I am done crying, tell me what I am telling my son: "It's okay. Things will be okay. You will be okay." Why is this so hard? All they got to do is listen. And if they're really good friends, they'd tell me what an absolute little shit I am to moan about grades like these when it could have been far worse!
Still, at least I suppose the old adage holds true: if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. At the very least, maybe it is better than getting a text message like: All according to ability la... Wow. Ouch. And that was after I told this person that we were very disappointed and that Isaac was very upset. Man, that message just left me shaking my head and pressing delete on my phone pronto.
Times like these really help me see who are real friends who would be with me in a time of need.
My immediate concern is my son. Damage control. I'm helping my son get over it, restoring his sense of confidence in himself and stroking the damaged feathers. I'll work on my end when I'm sure he's feeling a bit better.
The PSLE results are out and Isaac scored 229. First choice St Gabriel's, second choice St Pat's.
I was in shock for most of Nov 20. And I am still recovering and trying to get over it. Isaac - I think pretty much the same.
Will never forget looking at the results slip that day and feeling shock, dismay and disappointment wash all over me at one go. And then, marshalling every bit of self-control that is left, to comfort my boy. He was tearing away and I was babbling away that it was okay, he did great, not the end of the world if he could not get into SJI, blessing in disguise, God's will. Heck, I threw every cliched platitude I knew into the messy mix of comfort and klutz that I offered. I think most of it did not sink in.
Around us were kids and parents, clutching results slips, talking away in excitement. Isaac's P4 teacher Mr Phillip came by. He hugged Isaac and congratulated him for doing well. I caught Phillip's eye and mouthed: No SJI. He's rather upset. And Phillip poohed-poohed it, saying to Isaac, no you did good. Forget about SJI - its nothing. You did great.
Then Isaac's best friend and his parents came over. They checked out their results and then we were all in shock all over again. Patrick scored less than Isaac, despite 2 A*s. SJI was out for him too. What a day. So unexpected. But I was less concerned about Patrick than Isaac - he was still crying and I knew I had to get him out of school. So we said our goodbyes hastily and left.
I then messaged KH with the news. He called back immediately and demanded to know if this was my idea of a joke. Gosh, I wish it were. He demanded to speak to Isaac on the phone. Isaac shook his head. He couldn't get any words out, tears dripping everywhere. What could he say? Told the daddy it's no joke, his son can't talk and we'd discuss when we got home.
Isaac and I spent the rest of the day in a hollow space of disappointment and sadness. Me trying my best to lift his spirits, boost his now-shredded confidence level and pushing aside my own feelings of disbelief and sadness. We sought refuge at my mother's house. I noticed that for the first time, Isaac was not making a beeline for the computer. He was just happy to sit and talk with me and his Mama or be quiet and listen to us.
In the evening his daddy did not say much, just that we would go the next day, to St Pat's and St Gab's to check out our options.
We spent time in St Pat's and in St Gab's the next day. I liked St Pat's for the atmosphere, the old school buildings, the culture, the tradition, the strong alumni, the Catholic-ness of the school. I also liked the principal, I liked the way he turned the school around, I liked his forthright manner, his stand on discipline. More interestingly, I liked the idea that he was starting a scholarship class. This class of higher-end students would be offered more opportunities eg overseas trips, exposure to life sciences etc. While Isaac would not qualify for the scholarship, I thought he would stand a chance of being in the 'scholar class' - created for the higher-achievers in the PSLE. At 229, and given St Pat's highest entry aggregate this year was 234, he would certainly be at the higher end.
I didn't really warm to St Gab's. I thought it was like any other government school - in terms of its architecture, environment etc. There was not much information there on St Gab's either and there were no promising opportunities in terms of the curriculum. But the boys we met there were really nice and showed initiative, good people skills and one of them was also from SJI Junior, or as he retorted: St Michael's School! I was never a Josephian, only a Michaelian! Ah, so even their youngest alumni was not in favour of the school losing the St Michael's name to SJI.
The key points that were in favour of St Gab's were the distance (Isaac could walk to school) and the fact that the L1B4 scores were higher than St Pat's. The average L1B4 for St Pat's is 18 while St Gab's average L1B4 was 15. The school also has a special needs officer. We also met Isaac's classmate there and it later turned out that most of the boys in Isaac's class who did not make it to SJI will very likely end up in St Gab's. So that was comforting to Isaac.
We also visited SJI to check out the possibilities of an appeal. But at 229, its quite a long shot, and the school is expecting the cut-off to move up to 238. Had we put SJI as first choice, we would have had only a slim chance of getting in but would have lost St Gabs as first choice.
We had lunch with Patrick's parents and discussed all the issues, trying to clear up the murky waters. But it was hard. And we left lunch on Sunday, no clearer in purpose and intent than before. The weekend and early part of the week was spent mulling things through, trying to get through to St Pat's principal to find out more about the scholar class and Isaac's odds (we didn't get much headway there).
After angsting over it for so long, we finally submitted the S1 form last night. I did tell Isaac that we just have to move on and take any painful lessons in our stride. SJI is not totally gone - he does have the option of taking the entrance test next year for Sec 2 transfers. But Isaac does not seem keen. Right now, he just seems wary of another setback, another rejection. He's not even in favour of St Pat's because he might not get into the 'scholar class'. I think his choice in St Gab's stemmed a great deal from just playing it safe and licking his wounds for now.
I also had soul-searching to do. It ranged from the trivial to the serious - did I hex him in any way? Maybe it was better if I didn't have that silly dream about him scoring so highly in the exam. Maybe I should have stayed away from school when he got his results then I would not have jinxed him. Should have worn the other lucky t-shirt. Should not have stepped on the cracks in the pavement. Should not have washed hair the night before. All these idle, trivial thoughts, bordering on the superstitious - wishing things could be different and wondering how they went wrong.
But I also pondered on other issues. Was I off the mark to expect him to do better? Is that really the best he can do? Is that a true indicator of his abilities? Was I overly confident of his abilities? Can you 'over-believe' in someone? Can I please walk my talk and not compare my children's achievements? Can I please just stop mouthing off on education bla-bla-bla on AP and looking like a horse's rear end right now?
I've come to realise that no, I can't 'over-believe' in my children. I believe in them and what they can do. I still believe Isaac could have done better. I don't believe the PSLE is the be-all and end-all of academic success. Yes, it is hard when we realise he can't make the grade. But in the grand scheme of things, its early days yet and Isaac has a long way to go. As KH said, better for him to get this kind of disappointment and setback now, then he learns a hard but valuable lesson about life, expectations, confidence, humility, complacency, drive, determination and hunger. Hopefully this will make him a better, stronger person.
As to the rest - re mouthing off on AP etc - yes. Lie low. Lick wounds. Whine a lot. :-)
And me, I am learning from this too - about myself, my own expectations, about friendship etc. I've realised how much of a lonely place I am in. When things go well, the congratulations will naturally flow in. People are attracted to success like moths to the light. But when the road darkens, who walks with me? I feel like a bit of a pariah leper these days. I have had only ONE message of comfort and support since Nov 20. But for the most part, I have also been met with an ominous silence from many whom I thought would understand and provide support and comfort. And gee, the silence is deafening.
Maybe people don't know what to say. Awkward situation after all. Feels kinda like a funeral when you really don't know how to dish out the condolences.
Well I don't want any faux, oily condolences - these days I am so hyper-sensitive I detect insincerity a mile off. I don't want anyone pussy-footing it around me. Yes, my son did not do as well as I thought he would. No, it seems he was not good enough. Yes many others did much better. I wish people would just be upfront about it, acknowledge my feelings and help me move on. Don't tiptoe around it, don't be silent and pretend all is fine and dandy. I just need someone to listen to me when I rant about my disappointment and then, when I am done crying, tell me what I am telling my son: "It's okay. Things will be okay. You will be okay." Why is this so hard? All they got to do is listen. And if they're really good friends, they'd tell me what an absolute little shit I am to moan about grades like these when it could have been far worse!
Still, at least I suppose the old adage holds true: if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. At the very least, maybe it is better than getting a text message like: All according to ability la... Wow. Ouch. And that was after I told this person that we were very disappointed and that Isaac was very upset. Man, that message just left me shaking my head and pressing delete on my phone pronto.
Times like these really help me see who are real friends who would be with me in a time of need.
My immediate concern is my son. Damage control. I'm helping my son get over it, restoring his sense of confidence in himself and stroking the damaged feathers. I'll work on my end when I'm sure he's feeling a bit better.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Bye-bye Thailand, konnichiwa Japan!
Its official. The Thai Rail odyssey has been cold-storaged. Again. The money saved will go to the Visit-Japan fund for a trip scheduled for next year.
We did our sums and realised that the Thai trip would cost about $6000 or so for all of us. For another $7000 we could go back to Japan. So we gave the children the options: Go to Thailand this year or save the $$ and use it for Japan next year. It was almost unanimous - Japan it would be! The only exception was Owain. He wanted the clear waters of Krabi and was miffed that we would not be going. Consolation prize, KH suggested was just to go to Pangkor again. The water there, while not as clear as Krabi, would be clearer than many other places in Malaysia.
So I went online immediately, booked our accomodation in Lumut (Pangkor was full!) at the Swiss Garden resort and accomodation in Ipoh. We plan to take a leisurely drive to Penang as well and then back down the peninsula.
I'm very very excited! I think I've been a teensy bit depressed after Japan - withdrawal symptoms. I've missed it so much! But now, I feel perky and excited again - I wake up feeling like I have something to look forward to. Its time to start planning!! Time to dust off my Japan wishlist. I have a whole year to plan, maybe take Japanese lessons, go into Japanese cuisine again etc! And this time, I plan a much longer stay - at least 14 days or more in Japan. Off the top of my head - Ghibli, Disney Sea, the Kurobe-alpine route, Hakone (maybe) preserved post towns of Tsumago, Magome in the lush Kiso Valley, definitely Kyoto again, Nara, Kobe, Himeji, Hiroshima, Miyajima, driving in Shikoku and the Iya valley, and definitely, lots and lots of onsens! The kids have made their first request - go back to Kangetsu for our Tokyo stay. They really enjoyed the computer time, the rotemburo, and as Owain said, "even the bed on the floor and the comforter was very comfy!" Hee. Futon, son, futon...
Can't wait to go but the planning is half the fun... Now just have to pray for the yen to devalue more!
Its official. The Thai Rail odyssey has been cold-storaged. Again. The money saved will go to the Visit-Japan fund for a trip scheduled for next year.
We did our sums and realised that the Thai trip would cost about $6000 or so for all of us. For another $7000 we could go back to Japan. So we gave the children the options: Go to Thailand this year or save the $$ and use it for Japan next year. It was almost unanimous - Japan it would be! The only exception was Owain. He wanted the clear waters of Krabi and was miffed that we would not be going. Consolation prize, KH suggested was just to go to Pangkor again. The water there, while not as clear as Krabi, would be clearer than many other places in Malaysia.
So I went online immediately, booked our accomodation in Lumut (Pangkor was full!) at the Swiss Garden resort and accomodation in Ipoh. We plan to take a leisurely drive to Penang as well and then back down the peninsula.
I'm very very excited! I think I've been a teensy bit depressed after Japan - withdrawal symptoms. I've missed it so much! But now, I feel perky and excited again - I wake up feeling like I have something to look forward to. Its time to start planning!! Time to dust off my Japan wishlist. I have a whole year to plan, maybe take Japanese lessons, go into Japanese cuisine again etc! And this time, I plan a much longer stay - at least 14 days or more in Japan. Off the top of my head - Ghibli, Disney Sea, the Kurobe-alpine route, Hakone (maybe) preserved post towns of Tsumago, Magome in the lush Kiso Valley, definitely Kyoto again, Nara, Kobe, Himeji, Hiroshima, Miyajima, driving in Shikoku and the Iya valley, and definitely, lots and lots of onsens! The kids have made their first request - go back to Kangetsu for our Tokyo stay. They really enjoyed the computer time, the rotemburo, and as Owain said, "even the bed on the floor and the comforter was very comfy!" Hee. Futon, son, futon...
Can't wait to go but the planning is half the fun... Now just have to pray for the yen to devalue more!
Report cards for the rest of the tribe!
Last day of school today for Isaac. The P6 boys at SJI Jr have the task of running various assorted games and activities for their younger schoolmates. It will be the last thing they will do in the school. The real farewell of course, took place yesterday.
His Chinese teacher treated the class to pizza and sandwiches as a farewell treat. His form teacher, gruff as ever, with no love lost between the boys and him, said nothing meaninful and just handed out the last school bulletins for the year. His English teacher had a more significant farewell. She called each boy by name up to the front, shook hands with each of them and said a few words individually. To Isaac, she asked: "Do you think you will do well?" Isaac, in his typically deadpan way, avoiding her gaze, said: "Er, I don't know." She said firmly: "I think so. I think you will do well."
Well, I hope so!!
Next week is the PSLE results day on Nov 20. The boys have to be in school by 12nn in full uniform to collect their results. Even I am feeling the jitters about this! It would be the first time I do this as a parent - go to school with my child to collect results. Last year, with Gillian, we were in Japan - but I had a lovely SMS from her teacher to say don't worry, she passed!
So this collecting-results-from-school thing will be a new experience for me. I asked Isaac if he wanted me to go with him, or preferred to go alone. He said he wanted me there. What about dad, I asked. KH had volunteered to take leave and come. But Isaac said no to his dad being there. I asked why and he looked a bit sheepish as he said, "Well, if the results are bad, then dad is going to kick up a fuss and go on and on..."
"And I won't? I believe I have given you earfuls of nagging when your results were not up to par!"
"Yeah," he muttered. "But you're different from dad..."
Okay. I thought it was not quite fair to KH though because I didn't think KH would really kick up a fuss if the results were bad. He would not scold or harangue Isaac, but he might make many of his corny jokes and observations which are not very funny nor useful and he would not know when to stop! Yes, my neanderthal of husband gets an A-star for insensitivity sometimes.
I'm happy to go with my boy and be there for him. He's cool as a cucumber about all this though. But I am very jittery and nervous! Probably more than him!
I am not going to hex him by saying he will do well and definitely get to SJI. I am planning contingency plans - St Gabriels if he does not do well enough, and St Pat's is third in the running. Dad suggested Bartley Sec - his and my brother's alma mater... but KH gave a very horrified NO. Choose a better school. Of course I am not telling dad what KH said - heh! KH is planning to take Friday off to drive his son around to visit his various school choices so that the final decision can be made.
And as for my fishball Owain, well, I attended the Parent-Teacher meeting and his teacher had this to say: Owain is very bright. Has a photographic memory. Just need to show him something once or twice and he remembers it. His grasp of maths concepts is good and he catches on very quickly. In terms of readiness for P1, there should not be a problem. What this means is, he is pretty much on track to be ready for P1 and there looks like no real bumps ahead in the horizon. The only thing is, he is not interested in, and cannot grasp as well, the phonetic concepts of sounds and blending - so this will hamper his progress in reading. No problem with sight words - articles like 'a', 'the', them', 'there' etc. But he has problems in associating letters and sounds and blending them to form words. Still, his teacher seemed sanguine. She said its just a question of readiness. Once they are ready and they cross this last hurdle, there is usually no stopping them. All children have to make this leap and some just take a bit longer than others, but inevitably, they do.
His Chinese teacher said more or less the same thing: Owain is very bright. Learns very fast. No problem with writing or reading, or word recognition (do I thank Berries for this big leap? He was nowhere near this level of proficiency when he first started Berries earlier this year). The only issue she had with him was the lack of Chinese conversation. Cait's Chinese teacher said the same - no problem with most areas except for speaking. And if one does not converse enough, it will inevitably affect composition writing later on, zhao ju (sentence-making) and comprehension.
I've heard this often enough but the thing is - how to speak more when no one in my house speaks Mandarin!!! I am toying with the idea of getting a Mandarin tutor - not to drill them but to just converse in Mandarin - two hours a week better than nothing. Think it will work? Sigh...
Gillian also ended the year well. She scored As in her science grade and overall, Bs in general for her D&T, Home Economics and Cs for the rest. More significantly, for the first time in her life, she passed ALL her subjects!! She's moved up a couple of notches in her class placing to be among the top 15. So we are very pleased. She is fitting in well academically and we are glad she now has this sense of accomplishment. Last year's PSLE results were a good boost for her self-confidence and this year's year-end results do the same. With this, she can see that hard work gets her places.
This is precisely why I believe in streaming. Had there been no streaming, she would have been lumped with everyone else and been at the bottom of the barrel, and it would have been very demoralising for her. In pri school, until she officially streamed to EM3, this was the case. Her classes was mixed and she always ended up scraping the bottom. And in case you think girls of a higher academic ability are necessarily kinder and help their lesser-endowed counterparts, you're wrong. Gillian was very often the target of many malicious and spiteful comments. There were only one or two exceptions.
Socially, she seems to have settled down to one good friend - Abigail. This girl seems to have her share of problems, but does not exhibit as much outrageous behavior as some other girls in class. Gillian still remains very connected to us at home, so while there are some stirrings of rebellion, she still largely remains close and this negates the influence she gets at school. I don't know how long this will last though and it will get trickier the older she gets.
All in, this year was also a good year for her. It gets harder next year though! KH and I scanned the maths syllabus for Sec 2 NT and we were cringing - ack! algebra! How to explain algebraic concepts to someone who barely grasps basic mathematical concepts! KH is not looking forward to next year...
Finally, Trin. She will start regular therapy in Jan next year. She went for a test and showed normal development for her age range in articulation. But the second test for expressive vocabulary was cut short because she was not co-operative. They will test again six months later. We do see some more emerging language skills. She is still not as proactive as we'd like her to be, still has a great deal of baby-talk, but there are hopeful signs. She can babble something like: "Moon ky!" or "Is raining!" or "Car blue! I dri car."
All we can do at home is to speak more, articulate clearly and speak in proper sentences so that she can see the place for articles eg we will say, "THE moon IS IN THE sky!". We will repeat what she said in its proper sentence. We will keep labelling what we see everyday, keep reading to her. I've bought her a big word book which she loves. She enjoys flipping through, pointing and labelling the objects/pictures. Right now she can identify colours, identifies numbers, can rote count to 12 and has maybe about 300+ words in her vocab. We just need to show her how to link them up in sentences and encourage her to use these in her speech. Sounds easier than it is.
So there it is - this is how my tribe stands at the end of 2008. The chapter is not fully closed until Isaac gets his PSLE result on Nov 20. But I think its been good so far. Praise and thanks be to God for giving us this lovely year - more ups than downs.
Last day of school today for Isaac. The P6 boys at SJI Jr have the task of running various assorted games and activities for their younger schoolmates. It will be the last thing they will do in the school. The real farewell of course, took place yesterday.
His Chinese teacher treated the class to pizza and sandwiches as a farewell treat. His form teacher, gruff as ever, with no love lost between the boys and him, said nothing meaninful and just handed out the last school bulletins for the year. His English teacher had a more significant farewell. She called each boy by name up to the front, shook hands with each of them and said a few words individually. To Isaac, she asked: "Do you think you will do well?" Isaac, in his typically deadpan way, avoiding her gaze, said: "Er, I don't know." She said firmly: "I think so. I think you will do well."
Well, I hope so!!
Next week is the PSLE results day on Nov 20. The boys have to be in school by 12nn in full uniform to collect their results. Even I am feeling the jitters about this! It would be the first time I do this as a parent - go to school with my child to collect results. Last year, with Gillian, we were in Japan - but I had a lovely SMS from her teacher to say don't worry, she passed!
So this collecting-results-from-school thing will be a new experience for me. I asked Isaac if he wanted me to go with him, or preferred to go alone. He said he wanted me there. What about dad, I asked. KH had volunteered to take leave and come. But Isaac said no to his dad being there. I asked why and he looked a bit sheepish as he said, "Well, if the results are bad, then dad is going to kick up a fuss and go on and on..."
"And I won't? I believe I have given you earfuls of nagging when your results were not up to par!"
"Yeah," he muttered. "But you're different from dad..."
Okay. I thought it was not quite fair to KH though because I didn't think KH would really kick up a fuss if the results were bad. He would not scold or harangue Isaac, but he might make many of his corny jokes and observations which are not very funny nor useful and he would not know when to stop! Yes, my neanderthal of husband gets an A-star for insensitivity sometimes.
I'm happy to go with my boy and be there for him. He's cool as a cucumber about all this though. But I am very jittery and nervous! Probably more than him!
I am not going to hex him by saying he will do well and definitely get to SJI. I am planning contingency plans - St Gabriels if he does not do well enough, and St Pat's is third in the running. Dad suggested Bartley Sec - his and my brother's alma mater... but KH gave a very horrified NO. Choose a better school. Of course I am not telling dad what KH said - heh! KH is planning to take Friday off to drive his son around to visit his various school choices so that the final decision can be made.
And as for my fishball Owain, well, I attended the Parent-Teacher meeting and his teacher had this to say: Owain is very bright. Has a photographic memory. Just need to show him something once or twice and he remembers it. His grasp of maths concepts is good and he catches on very quickly. In terms of readiness for P1, there should not be a problem. What this means is, he is pretty much on track to be ready for P1 and there looks like no real bumps ahead in the horizon. The only thing is, he is not interested in, and cannot grasp as well, the phonetic concepts of sounds and blending - so this will hamper his progress in reading. No problem with sight words - articles like 'a', 'the', them', 'there' etc. But he has problems in associating letters and sounds and blending them to form words. Still, his teacher seemed sanguine. She said its just a question of readiness. Once they are ready and they cross this last hurdle, there is usually no stopping them. All children have to make this leap and some just take a bit longer than others, but inevitably, they do.
His Chinese teacher said more or less the same thing: Owain is very bright. Learns very fast. No problem with writing or reading, or word recognition (do I thank Berries for this big leap? He was nowhere near this level of proficiency when he first started Berries earlier this year). The only issue she had with him was the lack of Chinese conversation. Cait's Chinese teacher said the same - no problem with most areas except for speaking. And if one does not converse enough, it will inevitably affect composition writing later on, zhao ju (sentence-making) and comprehension.
I've heard this often enough but the thing is - how to speak more when no one in my house speaks Mandarin!!! I am toying with the idea of getting a Mandarin tutor - not to drill them but to just converse in Mandarin - two hours a week better than nothing. Think it will work? Sigh...
Gillian also ended the year well. She scored As in her science grade and overall, Bs in general for her D&T, Home Economics and Cs for the rest. More significantly, for the first time in her life, she passed ALL her subjects!! She's moved up a couple of notches in her class placing to be among the top 15. So we are very pleased. She is fitting in well academically and we are glad she now has this sense of accomplishment. Last year's PSLE results were a good boost for her self-confidence and this year's year-end results do the same. With this, she can see that hard work gets her places.
This is precisely why I believe in streaming. Had there been no streaming, she would have been lumped with everyone else and been at the bottom of the barrel, and it would have been very demoralising for her. In pri school, until she officially streamed to EM3, this was the case. Her classes was mixed and she always ended up scraping the bottom. And in case you think girls of a higher academic ability are necessarily kinder and help their lesser-endowed counterparts, you're wrong. Gillian was very often the target of many malicious and spiteful comments. There were only one or two exceptions.
Socially, she seems to have settled down to one good friend - Abigail. This girl seems to have her share of problems, but does not exhibit as much outrageous behavior as some other girls in class. Gillian still remains very connected to us at home, so while there are some stirrings of rebellion, she still largely remains close and this negates the influence she gets at school. I don't know how long this will last though and it will get trickier the older she gets.
All in, this year was also a good year for her. It gets harder next year though! KH and I scanned the maths syllabus for Sec 2 NT and we were cringing - ack! algebra! How to explain algebraic concepts to someone who barely grasps basic mathematical concepts! KH is not looking forward to next year...
Finally, Trin. She will start regular therapy in Jan next year. She went for a test and showed normal development for her age range in articulation. But the second test for expressive vocabulary was cut short because she was not co-operative. They will test again six months later. We do see some more emerging language skills. She is still not as proactive as we'd like her to be, still has a great deal of baby-talk, but there are hopeful signs. She can babble something like: "Moon ky!" or "Is raining!" or "Car blue! I dri car."
All we can do at home is to speak more, articulate clearly and speak in proper sentences so that she can see the place for articles eg we will say, "THE moon IS IN THE sky!". We will repeat what she said in its proper sentence. We will keep labelling what we see everyday, keep reading to her. I've bought her a big word book which she loves. She enjoys flipping through, pointing and labelling the objects/pictures. Right now she can identify colours, identifies numbers, can rote count to 12 and has maybe about 300+ words in her vocab. We just need to show her how to link them up in sentences and encourage her to use these in her speech. Sounds easier than it is.
So there it is - this is how my tribe stands at the end of 2008. The chapter is not fully closed until Isaac gets his PSLE result on Nov 20. But I think its been good so far. Praise and thanks be to God for giving us this lovely year - more ups than downs.
The little things that count
The primary school year has officially ended. Phew!
Caitlin came home with a cert for Fun Gym, a cert for Art from the Little Art Bug workshops the school organised, a cert for completing the dance programme and participating the the IJ Dance Fest, a cert for music accomplishment in class (she's not tone deaf after all!) and finally, a cert for "completing the school year with fun and laughter!"
I liked the last one best - it has been a good year all in all for her.
So far in my experience with IJ this past year, I have seen countless little touches that were not present in my experience with my other kids' schools. Even before the school year began, when Cait went for Orientation night, she was given a small laminated card, written and illustrated by her P1 counterpart in the same Hibiscus class who welcomed her to IJ and to the Hibiscus class. I thought that was a nice touch!
Then looking at the programmes the school offered - from gym to dance to Little Art Bug workshops etc, it seemed that while there was emphasis on the academics (can't run from this), there was also good emphasis on the non-academics. I liked this aspect too.
Her movement through the year in terms of Chinese, also demonstrated differentiated learning in full swing - from taking the bridging module in the first half of the year which meant extra classes and small group learning, to making that huge improvement and then switching over to the core modules, that also impressed me.
We went for the Parent-Teacher meeting recently. We were presented with a file of Cait's writing. Each girl had a writing file. The work done in that file over the months accounted for 5 marks of the overall final scores. I liked that progressive development was taken into consideration. A detailed report from the school was included to show where her strengths and weaknesses lay in terms of writing skills.
Incidentally, she loves to write - I saw her late one night, working away at her desk. I asked what she was doing and she showed me a large notebook - pages of writing. She was re-writing the story of Cinderalla, and on the opposite blank pages, there was a simple illustration. I looked through it and thought - well, good effort but she sure needs to work on paragraphing! Gosh, three pages of ONE paragraph!! And she needs to work on expressing her own ideas as well. Still, its a good start and I was suitably impressed - none of my other kids have done this. Not even Isaac!
In her report book, it was not only the grades that were reflected. Assessments and grading were provided for art, for PE too! And it was not just a 'Pass' or 'Fail' grade or As, Bs, Cs etc. But ticked boxes indicating the level of skill she demonstrated. So for Art, for example, while she showed good awareness spatial concepts, of line, colour, contrast and tone, and could make use of various media and techniques to bring out these skills, she still needed to be developed in terms of creative concepts, in developing her own ideas and to be confident about expressing these.
I don't know if many other schools do this, but I did appreciate that these observations were recorded for parents. It told us a lot more than just the usual letter grades. I did not see this done for Gillian's or Isaac's pri school.
And finally, the tiny certs they gave were also a nice touch. It reminded the girls that these were their accomplishments to be proud of, and of how far they have come. What a nice confidence booster.
I like these small thoughtful touches and these are what sets certain schools apart from the ordinary. The first year of pri school for Cait has been relatively a good year. She started the year out strong, then had this big emotional anxiety attacks that lasted for a good part of the year, but then ended the year on a high note with a fantastic performance at the Dance Fest, great grades (high band 1 for English and Maths and band 2 for Chinese) and a nod for the artistic gym CCA early selection. I'm proud of her. She is happy where she is now, lots of friends and they come from all classes and not just Hibiscus. Cait is really Lil Miss Social Butterfly - so there have been many invites to many a birthday party practically every other week.
It's just the beginning and it does get tougher.
Next year, the academics get ratcheted up a notch, gym training is stepped up to 2x a week, ballet exams in March and we plan to remove the school bus option - so she has to learn to take public transport by herself. We will give the girls a lift to school in the early morning, then she will take bus home by herself. No point continuing with the school bus since 3 days out of five, she will have to stay back in school either for ballet or gym.
Having a kid go through P1 is always an exercise in bated breath - will they take to school well? Can they adjust? Can they cope with the academics? Will they fit in, make friends? I look back on the year with fond nostalgia because I know the honeymoon is over, even though Cait is pretty blissfully unaware. Its uphill from here and the intensity will build over the years. I hope she will come through okay.
The primary school year has officially ended. Phew!
Caitlin came home with a cert for Fun Gym, a cert for Art from the Little Art Bug workshops the school organised, a cert for completing the dance programme and participating the the IJ Dance Fest, a cert for music accomplishment in class (she's not tone deaf after all!) and finally, a cert for "completing the school year with fun and laughter!"
I liked the last one best - it has been a good year all in all for her.
So far in my experience with IJ this past year, I have seen countless little touches that were not present in my experience with my other kids' schools. Even before the school year began, when Cait went for Orientation night, she was given a small laminated card, written and illustrated by her P1 counterpart in the same Hibiscus class who welcomed her to IJ and to the Hibiscus class. I thought that was a nice touch!
Then looking at the programmes the school offered - from gym to dance to Little Art Bug workshops etc, it seemed that while there was emphasis on the academics (can't run from this), there was also good emphasis on the non-academics. I liked this aspect too.
Her movement through the year in terms of Chinese, also demonstrated differentiated learning in full swing - from taking the bridging module in the first half of the year which meant extra classes and small group learning, to making that huge improvement and then switching over to the core modules, that also impressed me.
We went for the Parent-Teacher meeting recently. We were presented with a file of Cait's writing. Each girl had a writing file. The work done in that file over the months accounted for 5 marks of the overall final scores. I liked that progressive development was taken into consideration. A detailed report from the school was included to show where her strengths and weaknesses lay in terms of writing skills.
Incidentally, she loves to write - I saw her late one night, working away at her desk. I asked what she was doing and she showed me a large notebook - pages of writing. She was re-writing the story of Cinderalla, and on the opposite blank pages, there was a simple illustration. I looked through it and thought - well, good effort but she sure needs to work on paragraphing! Gosh, three pages of ONE paragraph!! And she needs to work on expressing her own ideas as well. Still, its a good start and I was suitably impressed - none of my other kids have done this. Not even Isaac!
In her report book, it was not only the grades that were reflected. Assessments and grading were provided for art, for PE too! And it was not just a 'Pass' or 'Fail' grade or As, Bs, Cs etc. But ticked boxes indicating the level of skill she demonstrated. So for Art, for example, while she showed good awareness spatial concepts, of line, colour, contrast and tone, and could make use of various media and techniques to bring out these skills, she still needed to be developed in terms of creative concepts, in developing her own ideas and to be confident about expressing these.
I don't know if many other schools do this, but I did appreciate that these observations were recorded for parents. It told us a lot more than just the usual letter grades. I did not see this done for Gillian's or Isaac's pri school.
And finally, the tiny certs they gave were also a nice touch. It reminded the girls that these were their accomplishments to be proud of, and of how far they have come. What a nice confidence booster.
I like these small thoughtful touches and these are what sets certain schools apart from the ordinary. The first year of pri school for Cait has been relatively a good year. She started the year out strong, then had this big emotional anxiety attacks that lasted for a good part of the year, but then ended the year on a high note with a fantastic performance at the Dance Fest, great grades (high band 1 for English and Maths and band 2 for Chinese) and a nod for the artistic gym CCA early selection. I'm proud of her. She is happy where she is now, lots of friends and they come from all classes and not just Hibiscus. Cait is really Lil Miss Social Butterfly - so there have been many invites to many a birthday party practically every other week.
It's just the beginning and it does get tougher.
Next year, the academics get ratcheted up a notch, gym training is stepped up to 2x a week, ballet exams in March and we plan to remove the school bus option - so she has to learn to take public transport by herself. We will give the girls a lift to school in the early morning, then she will take bus home by herself. No point continuing with the school bus since 3 days out of five, she will have to stay back in school either for ballet or gym.
Having a kid go through P1 is always an exercise in bated breath - will they take to school well? Can they adjust? Can they cope with the academics? Will they fit in, make friends? I look back on the year with fond nostalgia because I know the honeymoon is over, even though Cait is pretty blissfully unaware. Its uphill from here and the intensity will build over the years. I hope she will come through okay.
Our first harvest!
We had kangkong (water convolulus) for dinner the other day. Nothing spectacular about it but the fact that it came freshly cut from the our garden! We've taken to growing small patches of veg in our backyard. We have kangkong, chilli, bittergourd, durian (KH shakes his head at this one and says no go, have to remove it before it grows into a ginormous tree!), pandan plant, Thai basil, curry plant, daun limau perut, lemongrass. I would like to add brinjal to the list soon.
No pesticides, no fungicides, nothing chemical. We use only organic compost on it. Don't know if this was my imagination but the kangkong sure tasted great!
We had kangkong (water convolulus) for dinner the other day. Nothing spectacular about it but the fact that it came freshly cut from the our garden! We've taken to growing small patches of veg in our backyard. We have kangkong, chilli, bittergourd, durian (KH shakes his head at this one and says no go, have to remove it before it grows into a ginormous tree!), pandan plant, Thai basil, curry plant, daun limau perut, lemongrass. I would like to add brinjal to the list soon.
No pesticides, no fungicides, nothing chemical. We use only organic compost on it. Don't know if this was my imagination but the kangkong sure tasted great!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Waste not want not
It was Isaac's birthday yesterday but we celebrated it on Monday by bringing the kids, plus Isaac's friend P and his sister G out with us. I think the kids enjoyed their day out. We went for a morning walk at the new Admiralty Park with my ILs. Yes I spent a nice morning trailing 30m behind the group (roll eyes). I never feel quite comfortable with them and going on a walk through a nature trail, I would rather dawdle along, check out the flora and fauna and listen to birdcall (although there was more traffic noise than birdcall since the park bordered a busy road!!).
Following that, we ended up at my ILs house (again, no, all this was not planned by me since I would never voluntarily suggest any amount of time spent with them, but more like I was vetoed by my kids who wanted xbox time). So the kids played on the xbox while I hung out at the nearby mall for more than an hour. The day ended with a swim at the Yishun SAFRA club which had a very nice pool. I didn't swim - I never do (hate public bathrooms and changing rooms - ugh!) . So the kids - all 7 of them including Trin - went with KH.
He said people were giving him funny looks again since he had 7 kids with him, haha. I guess we're all immune to curious looks when we go out with 5 kids, but to have 7 and only ONE parent, must have been mind-boggling for the other parents.
The day passed pleasantly except for the morning. But I just wanted to record my observations about my kids - and his friends.
Having other kids around gave me a chance to see what these kids are like, how they behave, how they are brought up and to put my parenting, my kids into perspective.
P and G, Isaac's friends, are 12 and 8 respectively. They have no other siblings and come from a relatively well-off family. Their mother is an investment banker and the father dabbles in business. They are well-travelled and go to good schools.
I found P and G well-behaved generally. They're not bad kids. They were sociable, fit in well with my kids, interacted well with the adults. They were not spoilt kids. But yet, two incidents were telling.
The first happened when 8-year-old G complained of a stomach ache. We were in the car after the swim. And she was sitting in the back, groaning away really loudly. We were naturally concerned and asked if she was okay, did she need to go to the toilet etc. I was particularly worried since I do not want to offer meds to someone else's kid. Then I realised that the more concern we showed, the louder she would groan and clutch her tummy. Finally, I have to say I got a bit irritated. None of our suggestions agreed with her and the groaning was becoming louder and more annoying. So I said mildly, if you're so unwell, perhaps it might be best if we gave you a lift home. Your mum might be able to give you some meds for this.
Immediately the groaning ceased and she said: No, I don't want to go home.
After that, we had reached our home and the kids started setting up the DVD player, going on the computer etc and there was no more groaning and moaning. G played happily with the rest.
KH later told me that I was taking a risk, what if she was really in pain and tried to ignore it just to avoid going home. I told him that IF she was really in pain, she would WANT to go home. I have a built-in antenna when it comes to kids trying to pull a fast one for whatever reason, and I have no patience for attention-seeking or whiny kids. I hate molly-coddling people and especially molly-coddling kids. I especially hate pandering to attention-seekers (read MIL!). I think this just indulges them to whine more. My approach is simple: if it bothers you enough, do something about it. Otherwise, just be quiet!
Incident number 2 is really an amalgam of several incidents. It was breakfast. P had already had his breakfast. Nonetheless, he opened a full packet of bee-hoon. He ate half the egg, gobbled the chicken wing and left two-thirds of the beehoon uneaten. Said he already had breakfast, was too full etc. So we ended up throwing away that packet of beehoon. Then came lunch. He could not eat what my ILs bought so we asked the helper to cook a bowl of instant noodles. He said he wanted to include fishballs and veggies too. Barely ten minutes later, I heard him say: I can't finish. I'm not very hungry - still full from breakfast. He asked Gillian to eat this for him. Gillian complained of being treated like a scavenger but still ate a bit. Despite that, there was still a LOT left that had to be thrown away.
I, who cannot abide waste, really felt my hackles rising. So when incident three came, I was ready. He asked for oatmeal which the others were eating. I asked him to taste first and see if this was what he really wanted. He did and said yes. I gave him two spoonfuls of oatmeal and cooked it up. Added an egg. Half an hour later, he came to me with his bowl, three-quarters uneaten and said, you guessed it: Can't finish. Aaaarrghhh!!
Had it been my kid, I would have called him on the carpet! But of course it would not be my kids. My kids have been drilled from birth - take only what you need and finish everything on your plate. They know better than to embark on a deathwish like this by wasting food.
So faced with this boy, I really felt like tearing my hair out!
I have been brought up not to waste food and now I am imparting the same philosophy to my kids. How often have I heard the usual line about Ethiopians starving away and here we are throwing away food etc. Yes I used to roll my eyes too whenever my mom went on and on about this.
But now I say this to my kids too. Well, not about the Ethiopians but about the kids in Cambodia or in the Manila slums who rummage through garbage heaps to find edible scraps of food. My kids never ask me about the logic of this though - how could their actions at the dining table translate to actual help for those kids. But I believe in a karmic logic to all this - that if we respect the laws of the universe, respect what is given to us and be thankful for it and not waste, then somewhere somehow, it will be put right. We might have more respect for what is not ours, what is transient, rare, finite. We would appreciate better what we do have, appreciate the amount of work that it took to put food on the table and have better empathy and respect for our fellowman somewhere who has much less.
A friend told me that she's okay with food wastage - what matters is that the kid must enjoy the food and not force it down. But I think this is very undisciplined. It just means that I can do whatever I like as long as I like - never mind if there is wastage or excess or whatever. I can't do this. I don't believe in being this self-indulgent. At the least, its so disrespectful to Mother Earth! I don't want my kids to behave like this or think it's okay to behave like this.
I can't help but wonder if my family and I are anomalies. And is this because I am strict? Or are other parents lax? Does it have anything to do with the size of their family? I would imagine that with a larger family, one would be more wary of wastage since resources are so finite. I would also think that with a smaller family size, the kids are more likely to be mollycoddled and their every whim catered to. Is it necessarily bad that I don't indulge my kids? Is this what they mean when they say kids from big families suffer from the lack of parental attention? Well if so, I'm glad I have a big family then.
This sort of me-first, never mind the rest of the world attitude is not uncommon. Just on Sunday, the Sunday Times interviewed this undergrad who thinks nothing of spending freely on luxury items in a downturn. Its all well and good if you can afford it but it does reflect a distasteful disregard for the times and a lack of sensitivity for the people around you who may not be well-off.
If she wants to spend that kind of money, be my guest. But what gets my goat is the aura of insensitivity and callous attitude she gave off that smelled so bad in the article. (Note: there were some in the ST forum pages who defended her and said she was misrepresented in the article. They gave a URL to her blog. Out of curiosity, I surfed over. First of all, gosh if this was the way 1st year undergrads in NTU write, I think NTU's selection standards leave a lot to be desired! Second, she claims to be misrepresented etc, but when I surfed to previous entries, the same bad whiff of self-indulgence and flaky insensitivity came out. No smoke without fire they say...)
Were her parents overly indulgent? When did she start seeing them as an unending fount of funds? And with her mindset like this, what will happen to her should reality come crashing down? I shudder to think.
I hope and pray my kids will never be like that.
I don't think they will. There's hope yet. Yesterday was Isaac's birthday and we usually go out to celebrate as a family, treating them to their favourite food. Usually the request would be for sushi. But this time, Isaac surprised us all. He asked me how much a bowl of ramen would cost, if baby would share with Owain etc. He did the math and concluded that ramen was cheaper, so let's have ramen instead of sushi. When we asked him why, he said it was because times are getting harder and we're almost in a recession (actually we already are!) so better not to be so extravagant. Wow and double wow for my son!! Note that for the record, we ended up having sushi. KH and I thanked Isaac for being thoughtful, but since it was his birthday, we would treat him to sushi which was what he really wanted. During dinner though, I overheard him telling his siblings: "Eh, you all better don't eat so much ah!"
Then after dinner, he saw me withdrawing some cash from the ATM. I told him quite frankly that I was relieved to see my bank balance still able to last me through to the next pay day - 18 days to go! When he asked why, I told him the truth: every month is hand to mouth for me and I need to watch what I spend very carefully because on months when I am careless, there is literally nothing left in the kitty - zero! It's never a nice feeling to go to the ATM, try to withdraw money and realise you only have $20 left in there! But this happens practically every month for me, so I tell him its important to ration money very carefully.
Some parents might think this is too much information for the kids. But I'm quite happy to share the state of my finances with him. I think he is old enough to know, think for himself and join the dots. I don't believe in sheltering him or being an unlimited source of funds for him or the other kids (I can't!). Hopefully, my honesty will bring a huge dose of reality to them and let it sink home what we've always been saying: money does not grow on trees!
It was Isaac's birthday yesterday but we celebrated it on Monday by bringing the kids, plus Isaac's friend P and his sister G out with us. I think the kids enjoyed their day out. We went for a morning walk at the new Admiralty Park with my ILs. Yes I spent a nice morning trailing 30m behind the group (roll eyes). I never feel quite comfortable with them and going on a walk through a nature trail, I would rather dawdle along, check out the flora and fauna and listen to birdcall (although there was more traffic noise than birdcall since the park bordered a busy road!!).
Following that, we ended up at my ILs house (again, no, all this was not planned by me since I would never voluntarily suggest any amount of time spent with them, but more like I was vetoed by my kids who wanted xbox time). So the kids played on the xbox while I hung out at the nearby mall for more than an hour. The day ended with a swim at the Yishun SAFRA club which had a very nice pool. I didn't swim - I never do (hate public bathrooms and changing rooms - ugh!) . So the kids - all 7 of them including Trin - went with KH.
He said people were giving him funny looks again since he had 7 kids with him, haha. I guess we're all immune to curious looks when we go out with 5 kids, but to have 7 and only ONE parent, must have been mind-boggling for the other parents.
The day passed pleasantly except for the morning. But I just wanted to record my observations about my kids - and his friends.
Having other kids around gave me a chance to see what these kids are like, how they behave, how they are brought up and to put my parenting, my kids into perspective.
P and G, Isaac's friends, are 12 and 8 respectively. They have no other siblings and come from a relatively well-off family. Their mother is an investment banker and the father dabbles in business. They are well-travelled and go to good schools.
I found P and G well-behaved generally. They're not bad kids. They were sociable, fit in well with my kids, interacted well with the adults. They were not spoilt kids. But yet, two incidents were telling.
The first happened when 8-year-old G complained of a stomach ache. We were in the car after the swim. And she was sitting in the back, groaning away really loudly. We were naturally concerned and asked if she was okay, did she need to go to the toilet etc. I was particularly worried since I do not want to offer meds to someone else's kid. Then I realised that the more concern we showed, the louder she would groan and clutch her tummy. Finally, I have to say I got a bit irritated. None of our suggestions agreed with her and the groaning was becoming louder and more annoying. So I said mildly, if you're so unwell, perhaps it might be best if we gave you a lift home. Your mum might be able to give you some meds for this.
Immediately the groaning ceased and she said: No, I don't want to go home.
After that, we had reached our home and the kids started setting up the DVD player, going on the computer etc and there was no more groaning and moaning. G played happily with the rest.
KH later told me that I was taking a risk, what if she was really in pain and tried to ignore it just to avoid going home. I told him that IF she was really in pain, she would WANT to go home. I have a built-in antenna when it comes to kids trying to pull a fast one for whatever reason, and I have no patience for attention-seeking or whiny kids. I hate molly-coddling people and especially molly-coddling kids. I especially hate pandering to attention-seekers (read MIL!). I think this just indulges them to whine more. My approach is simple: if it bothers you enough, do something about it. Otherwise, just be quiet!
Incident number 2 is really an amalgam of several incidents. It was breakfast. P had already had his breakfast. Nonetheless, he opened a full packet of bee-hoon. He ate half the egg, gobbled the chicken wing and left two-thirds of the beehoon uneaten. Said he already had breakfast, was too full etc. So we ended up throwing away that packet of beehoon. Then came lunch. He could not eat what my ILs bought so we asked the helper to cook a bowl of instant noodles. He said he wanted to include fishballs and veggies too. Barely ten minutes later, I heard him say: I can't finish. I'm not very hungry - still full from breakfast. He asked Gillian to eat this for him. Gillian complained of being treated like a scavenger but still ate a bit. Despite that, there was still a LOT left that had to be thrown away.
I, who cannot abide waste, really felt my hackles rising. So when incident three came, I was ready. He asked for oatmeal which the others were eating. I asked him to taste first and see if this was what he really wanted. He did and said yes. I gave him two spoonfuls of oatmeal and cooked it up. Added an egg. Half an hour later, he came to me with his bowl, three-quarters uneaten and said, you guessed it: Can't finish. Aaaarrghhh!!
Had it been my kid, I would have called him on the carpet! But of course it would not be my kids. My kids have been drilled from birth - take only what you need and finish everything on your plate. They know better than to embark on a deathwish like this by wasting food.
So faced with this boy, I really felt like tearing my hair out!
I have been brought up not to waste food and now I am imparting the same philosophy to my kids. How often have I heard the usual line about Ethiopians starving away and here we are throwing away food etc. Yes I used to roll my eyes too whenever my mom went on and on about this.
But now I say this to my kids too. Well, not about the Ethiopians but about the kids in Cambodia or in the Manila slums who rummage through garbage heaps to find edible scraps of food. My kids never ask me about the logic of this though - how could their actions at the dining table translate to actual help for those kids. But I believe in a karmic logic to all this - that if we respect the laws of the universe, respect what is given to us and be thankful for it and not waste, then somewhere somehow, it will be put right. We might have more respect for what is not ours, what is transient, rare, finite. We would appreciate better what we do have, appreciate the amount of work that it took to put food on the table and have better empathy and respect for our fellowman somewhere who has much less.
A friend told me that she's okay with food wastage - what matters is that the kid must enjoy the food and not force it down. But I think this is very undisciplined. It just means that I can do whatever I like as long as I like - never mind if there is wastage or excess or whatever. I can't do this. I don't believe in being this self-indulgent. At the least, its so disrespectful to Mother Earth! I don't want my kids to behave like this or think it's okay to behave like this.
I can't help but wonder if my family and I are anomalies. And is this because I am strict? Or are other parents lax? Does it have anything to do with the size of their family? I would imagine that with a larger family, one would be more wary of wastage since resources are so finite. I would also think that with a smaller family size, the kids are more likely to be mollycoddled and their every whim catered to. Is it necessarily bad that I don't indulge my kids? Is this what they mean when they say kids from big families suffer from the lack of parental attention? Well if so, I'm glad I have a big family then.
This sort of me-first, never mind the rest of the world attitude is not uncommon. Just on Sunday, the Sunday Times interviewed this undergrad who thinks nothing of spending freely on luxury items in a downturn. Its all well and good if you can afford it but it does reflect a distasteful disregard for the times and a lack of sensitivity for the people around you who may not be well-off.
If she wants to spend that kind of money, be my guest. But what gets my goat is the aura of insensitivity and callous attitude she gave off that smelled so bad in the article. (Note: there were some in the ST forum pages who defended her and said she was misrepresented in the article. They gave a URL to her blog. Out of curiosity, I surfed over. First of all, gosh if this was the way 1st year undergrads in NTU write, I think NTU's selection standards leave a lot to be desired! Second, she claims to be misrepresented etc, but when I surfed to previous entries, the same bad whiff of self-indulgence and flaky insensitivity came out. No smoke without fire they say...)
Were her parents overly indulgent? When did she start seeing them as an unending fount of funds? And with her mindset like this, what will happen to her should reality come crashing down? I shudder to think.
I hope and pray my kids will never be like that.
I don't think they will. There's hope yet. Yesterday was Isaac's birthday and we usually go out to celebrate as a family, treating them to their favourite food. Usually the request would be for sushi. But this time, Isaac surprised us all. He asked me how much a bowl of ramen would cost, if baby would share with Owain etc. He did the math and concluded that ramen was cheaper, so let's have ramen instead of sushi. When we asked him why, he said it was because times are getting harder and we're almost in a recession (actually we already are!) so better not to be so extravagant. Wow and double wow for my son!! Note that for the record, we ended up having sushi. KH and I thanked Isaac for being thoughtful, but since it was his birthday, we would treat him to sushi which was what he really wanted. During dinner though, I overheard him telling his siblings: "Eh, you all better don't eat so much ah!"
Then after dinner, he saw me withdrawing some cash from the ATM. I told him quite frankly that I was relieved to see my bank balance still able to last me through to the next pay day - 18 days to go! When he asked why, I told him the truth: every month is hand to mouth for me and I need to watch what I spend very carefully because on months when I am careless, there is literally nothing left in the kitty - zero! It's never a nice feeling to go to the ATM, try to withdraw money and realise you only have $20 left in there! But this happens practically every month for me, so I tell him its important to ration money very carefully.
Some parents might think this is too much information for the kids. But I'm quite happy to share the state of my finances with him. I think he is old enough to know, think for himself and join the dots. I don't believe in sheltering him or being an unlimited source of funds for him or the other kids (I can't!). Hopefully, my honesty will bring a huge dose of reality to them and let it sink home what we've always been saying: money does not grow on trees!
Monday, October 20, 2008
10 good reasons
Owain has been badgering me to nurse him. I thought he was well over the nursing and did not seem to mind not nursing. We have not nursed for many months already.
But these few weeks I noticed that he has been bugging me pretty often about nursing. Usually he just teases me and uses it as an exclamation point. For example, when I say no to one of his requests, he would shout: I want nen-nen!
But these days its more pleading/bugging than just an exclamation. He even tells me: You have to give me nen-nen. If you don't give me nen-nen I will die!!
So drama! Pity about his hard-hearted mummy who laughed mercilessly when she heard all this!
Once or twice, I did let him try and nurse, but he could not get anything out. He had forgotten how to nurse. When I told him he'd already forgotten, he said: "I will learn again. Just suck slowly... or you can press the breast..." Meaning that I should do breast compressions while he nurses!
The other day I told him in exasperation: "If you can give me 10 good reasons why you should have nen-nen, I will let you have it!"
So he thought for a while and here are his reasons. They were not all given at one go - he had to think them through for a while, often stopping for days until a new reason struck him and he could add it to the list. Here they are, in no order of preference:
1. Because nen-nen is healthy and good for my body.
2. Because nen-nen is good for your body too!
3. Because you're beautiful.
4. Because I like the taste of nen-nen.
5. Because I love you.
6. Because I like the strawberry on your breast (he's referring to a tiny strawberry mark on the areola)
7. Because nen-nen is better than cow's milk.
It's stopped like this for now. He's thinking hard and working on the rest.
When he gets to number 10, I'll let him have his nen-nen. I think he deserves it. Don't you?
Owain has been badgering me to nurse him. I thought he was well over the nursing and did not seem to mind not nursing. We have not nursed for many months already.
But these few weeks I noticed that he has been bugging me pretty often about nursing. Usually he just teases me and uses it as an exclamation point. For example, when I say no to one of his requests, he would shout: I want nen-nen!
But these days its more pleading/bugging than just an exclamation. He even tells me: You have to give me nen-nen. If you don't give me nen-nen I will die!!
So drama! Pity about his hard-hearted mummy who laughed mercilessly when she heard all this!
Once or twice, I did let him try and nurse, but he could not get anything out. He had forgotten how to nurse. When I told him he'd already forgotten, he said: "I will learn again. Just suck slowly... or you can press the breast..." Meaning that I should do breast compressions while he nurses!
The other day I told him in exasperation: "If you can give me 10 good reasons why you should have nen-nen, I will let you have it!"
So he thought for a while and here are his reasons. They were not all given at one go - he had to think them through for a while, often stopping for days until a new reason struck him and he could add it to the list. Here they are, in no order of preference:
1. Because nen-nen is healthy and good for my body.
2. Because nen-nen is good for your body too!
3. Because you're beautiful.
4. Because I like the taste of nen-nen.
5. Because I love you.
6. Because I like the strawberry on your breast (he's referring to a tiny strawberry mark on the areola)
7. Because nen-nen is better than cow's milk.
It's stopped like this for now. He's thinking hard and working on the rest.
When he gets to number 10, I'll let him have his nen-nen. I think he deserves it. Don't you?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Owain's motto
Owain's motto is: "You never know if you never try."
And its got to be said fast. Preferably with a charming smile and cocky slant of the head!
Owain is more adventurous than my other kids and he seems more willing to try new things, new food, new ways of doing things, than the rest.
This motto came out quite naturally from him. None of us coached him or put any suggestions to him about even having a motto. One fine day he just announced that this was his motto.
For now.
And the next line out of him would usually be: Mum, what is YOUR motto?
Hmm. Good question. I thought for a bit and then I said: My motto is the same one that is on the clay piece attached to my bag's zipper. It says "Live well, laugh often, love always."
Owain's motto is: "You never know if you never try."
And its got to be said fast. Preferably with a charming smile and cocky slant of the head!
Owain is more adventurous than my other kids and he seems more willing to try new things, new food, new ways of doing things, than the rest.
This motto came out quite naturally from him. None of us coached him or put any suggestions to him about even having a motto. One fine day he just announced that this was his motto.
For now.
And the next line out of him would usually be: Mum, what is YOUR motto?
Hmm. Good question. I thought for a bit and then I said: My motto is the same one that is on the clay piece attached to my bag's zipper. It says "Live well, laugh often, love always."
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