Just catching up

Back at work for a week now and I'm still adjusting. Luckily its term break now so things are very quiet and most people are on leave. Adjusting to a longer work week and getting some resistance from my inner self. After working 2.5 days for more than 7 years, it seems harder even to just work one more day a week! I'm sorely feeling my loss of personal time and half regretting the move to work 3.5 days. But I've just got to bite the bullet and do this. Pathetic as it may sound, Trin can use the money for her Nursery education.

Yes, we've decided to go ahead and continue her in Lumiere Montessori. KH was very reluctant but after thinking long and hard, I think its what is best for her. She's used to the place and to the teachers, the Montessori way of individualised learning is still what is best for her (particularly given her extra strong will and personality), it's also more convenient, etc etc. Have to say I visited the PAP kindy just to have a feel of the place and within five minutes, I pretty much decided against the mainstream kindy. I disagreed with practically everything I heard! So, feeling this way, I could not in all good conscience put her there - even if the disparity in fees is at least 3 times!

Trin's really cute when she goes to school. She eagerly puts on her uniform, takes her bag and bugs everyone to get ready when its time to go! She loves it there, so even though I hate working 3.5 days a week, it's worth the pain if she really enjoys school and if she grows and learns.

The speech therapist did another test with her and said that she shows signs of attentional deficit. She was fidgety during the test, could not seem to process information well and responded only to binary questions. Therapist recommended that Trin start language, not speech, therapy and to be further evaluated by an educational psychologist.

One part of me is so resigned - why am I not surprised? Given our experience with Gillian and Isaac, this does not faze me as much, but I still feel a big sigh coming. Asked myself over and over again - what did we do wrong? I kept ultrasounds to a minimum, had a natural unmedicated birth, delayed cord clamping, declined all vaccinations, breastfed until she was at least three. So what went wrong?

Then again, I'm not the kind to keep wallowing. So best to just do what needs to be done - I've pushed her paed appointment at KKH up two months to May, spoken to Eileen at Lumiere about this and asked for her observations of Trin. By the end of this term, I would have more information to feed the paed and push for a referral to an educational psychologist. Hopefully by the second half of the year, we would have embarked on some early intervention programme. I'm quite prepared to get Melissa back on board to work with Trin on attentional issues.

Owain - being a real gem of a kor-kor in school. He does a lot for his baby sister. They fight a lot at home but in school, he seems pretty protective. He reports to me on a daily basis what Trin does in school and it looks as if he wanders over to the Nursery section often just to check on Trin!

Caitlin is starting the new term well. She's been appointed Social Studies Monitor and earmarked to go for 'training' in a special leadership training workshop for student and CCA leaders in the school. She's doing well in gym and in dance. So I think there will come a day when she's got to make a choice between gym and dance as a CCA.

Isaac is rather quiet these days - I don't hear much from him. The doors of adolescence seem to have cracked open a teensy bit and there is a new sort of tension between him and KH. I can sense it whenever KH comes down on Isaac and I try to soften things whenever I can. From past experience I already know that Isaac will not back down from a clash of wills. So I try to deflect it or talk to him separately. He's not outwardly rebellious or rude or defiant. He's just very quiet about it and that is the scary bit - because a lot of how I approach him is based on my gut feel and less on what I actually know. He reminds me of an iceberg - quiet and still, a small piece showing above the water but massive on the inside. Lucky for me that our bond is still quite strong and we have a lot in common. That helps.

Gillian is... shining like a beacon these days. She is really coming into her own now. Today is the first day of the C Div Nationals for bowling. She was very psyched up and very nervous this morning - worried that she would pull her team's scores down. But I think she'll be fine. Yesterday she played three games under her grandad's eagle eye and she was scoring well above her targets. Saturday's training also saw her scoring on target. We had set these targets for her to reach as gradual milestones. She seems to be hitting her stride and once she plateaus, we'll push her harder again. She's slowly improving and we are happy that she has the focus and determination to do so - that really is what's most important to us.

Gill has also been shortlisted for the GEM programme in KC. We attended the first briefing and she's gone for the first camp already. Its a nine-month long programme filled with camps, workshops, meetings and so on. I thought it sounded like a good programme to build self-confidence, self-discipline, motivation etc. Already after the first camp, she told us that she had such a good time that she's made new friends (more positive ones than her usual gang in class - which I am trying to steer her away from) and she's inspired to become a mentor and return to serve in the camp next year. You don't know how happy I was hear this coming from her - positive role modelling, self-motivation growing - so different from the girl she was a few years ago. Even at home, these days when it comes to work, we hear fewer moans and complaints than before. She grumbles a bit but knuckles down to work more willingly.