Wrong school?

I began the previous post about Owain not wanting to go to school.

At first, we think its the long bus ride. He has to wake up at 6.45am to get ready for a bus that comes at 7.20am, then endure a 50-min long ride to arrive at school at 8.10am. So I suggested that we try sending him to school. It means making one big round - we have to give Gillian a lift to Marine Parade first, then go for breakfast, then back to Aljunied Road to send him to school and then its another u-turn to Tampines to drop me off before KH can go to work.

The first time we tried it, he was chirpy and happy. But it didn't make sense. By the time we arrived at his school, so did the bus. So that meant it was around the same amount of travelling time for him and coming with us meant he would have to get up earlier in the morning. So I didn't think this made good sense, but he seemed happy.

Now that he knew we could do this, he started wheedling us to do this everyday. I counter-bargained by allowing him to take his new Masked Rider mask to school if he took the bus - which he did today. Still, I thought something else was not quite right. So I wrote in the communication notebook and asked the teacher to call me.

The Chinese teacher called me the other day. She seemd a bit defensive when I asked if he was happy in school. That was my only question - I only wanted to know if he was unhappy or happy from her observations, just her opinion. But I never got a straight answer from her. She seemed to think I was implying she was not doing her job. So instead of answering my question, she said: Owain's penmanship is very weak. He can't hold the pencil well and most of the time, I've got to hold it for him. He writes in very faint lines. The work you see in his worksheets are often just me holding his hand and guiding him. He can't even colour well. Compared with his peers, he is much weaker. Mummy must do more at home with him to boost his hand strength - let him play with sand etc. (Yet last night when I let him cut paper with scissors, there was nothing wrong with his hand strength, he could cut in very firm, even strokes)

Okay, I didn't ask for specifics and I wasn't bothered - I think a 4yo kid should be given some leeway and its not the end of the world if my son can't hold a pencil well. I should think that by the age of 21 he would have mastered this essential life skill.

I tried explaining that he had never been to school before unlike his peers who would have gone through Pre-Nursery, Nursery 1 and Nursery 2 etc. I also told her what I knew - that Owain is very bright and might not find seatwork very interesting or stimulating. Colouring to him, was not very fun - doing complex puzzles was more fun. But she didn't even seem to hear me. She just went on about how bad his handwriting was.

By then I was getting a bit irritated. But I continued asking what I asked from the beginning, is he happy in school? Does he participate? Have any friends?

And then the telling bit came in. She said well, he does not like to mix very well. Every morning when the bus comes and before assembly starts, all the kids would play together. I would encourage him to go and play with them but he wouldn't. He would only stand aside watching them play. He does not seem unhappy, but he just does not join in. This is the generally the same throughout the school day. He will participate when asked, but will not voluntarily do so.

What about the work - does he seem to enjoy it? The teacher paused and said, he will do the work but he does not take extra effort, he just gets it done at acceptable levels. He is not disruptive, he is not restless and is generally a good boy.

I just get the idea of one word to sum up everything: BLAH!

It bothers me, because I know him to be a cheeky mischievous kid who has no problem joining in play with his brothers and sisters. I also know him to be above average bright from that last IQ test. He is capable of insightful comments and observations that cut right to the core of the issue sometimes. So what the teacher described does not sound like the boy I know.

When I asked Owain, and I had to ask a few times. Most times he would just grin, groan as if it were a joke and not answer. But finally one day he said, school is so long... and I got to sit down and do work, do work, do work!!

So I think my gut feel was right - he is not cut out for a mainstream kindy where seatwork, penmanship etc are valued. I think he will do better in a one-to-one environment which allows him choice, allows him to learn through his own experiences - Montessori? Or Waldorf-Steiner?

It is so expensive though, but is there any other way? I can't bear letting him go through school, thinking that learning is boring and a chore - the system does this to most kids in time. But for someone like Owain, I think he deserves more and I think his gifts need to be cultivated. A mainstream system damps this down. But on the other hand, gosh, it is so expensive...

Looks like I have to start looking again.