The honeymoon is over!

Indeed it is.

There I was. Happily ensconced in my seat in a near empty Lido cinema watching the very funny Steve Carell in Dan In Real Life yesterday when the phone rang. I'd debated about whether or not to switch the phone off but because the cinema was empty and I could feel the vibration of the phone easily enough, I decided not to switch it off. And good thing I didn't.

Right at the funny bit with Steve Carell and Juliette Binoche in the bathroom/tub, the phone rang.

Caitlin's teacher Ms Ang was on the line. Caitlin was crying and said she had a tummy ache and wanted to go home so could I come by and pick her up?

Deja vu all over again!

I knew what was the problem and it wasn't her tummy. It was a combination of factors. First, this brings me back to Cait's first days in Kindergarten. Same thing happened. When she first started, everything was hunky-dory. Then after the 2nd or 3rd week, she started this: crying, tummy aches, crying the night before, crying on Sunday nights, asking if she had to go to school everyday etc. We finally figured out what was the prob - Chinese lessons (she was clueless about Chinese back then!) and an overly long bus ride everyday. We solved this by getting her a lift from Big Bernice, her very matured-minded senior in K2 whose mum picked her everyday and who, thankfully lived nearby. So problem solved and she went on to have many happy months in K1 and K2.

So now this. I'd seen it before. This time, I think I knew the problem. And I was part of it. First, English spelling and Chinese spelling all on one day. And then there's me the pushy insensitive mummy.

Yes, I screwed up.

I had told myself to go slow with her re spelling, school, adjusting etc. So we've been going through her spelling with one word a day until Tuesday. This has worked well for the past few weeks.

But yesterday, Tuesday morning and Spelling Day, I was at the PC trying to get that blasted internet home connection back on and I wasn't really thinking when she talked about the plant she wanted. I had promised to get her a plant if she got all her Spelling words right. Last week she had everything right except for 'sharpener'. So yesterday morning, I unthinkingly said: no, you need to get everything right before you get the plant. And our deal is for two spellings in a row.

She looked a bit stricken then and said: but its just one word wrong!

And I shot off: One word is not good enough.

Okay, now go ahead and please shoot me for saying stupid stupid stupid things like this!!

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew I'd put my foot in it. But she didn't look upset then. The rest of the morning went well and she seemed alright. She had ballet class in school so I sent her off early to school instead of taking the bus and she still seemed herself - chatty and happy. But I guess that's just it about her - she will look happy but will be stressed on the inside.

So when Ms Ang called when Steve Carell was standing Juliet Binoche's bathtub, ah I knew immediately what it was. So I said I'd come by and pick her up and to please let her stay in the Sick Bay till then.

I arrived at the school around 3pm and headed for the General Office. The clerk there said she was in the Sick Bay. The lady smiled and said softly: she seems fine. Colouring and drawing inside.

So I said I would not sign her out just yet but we would talk. Out came Cait, looking quite solemn, but otherwise well. We talked. I gave her a hug and then the tears welled up in her eyes. While I didn't quite abase myself in front of her, I did apologise and tell her that I was wrong to push her on Spelling. I said that as long as we worked together everyday on spelling, I would and could see that she was already trying her best, so if she did still get a mistake or more, it would not be so bad because she did try her best. She nodded but said it wasn't because of this that she wanted to go home. It was because her classmate pushed her. Ah okay, so changed tack and talked about classmate pushing and what she could do. Then Ms Ang walked in and reassured her about speaking to the girl who pushed her. Between us we managed to distract and convince her to stay.

It was recess then so I asked her to show me her class. I'd seen it before but dutifully oohed and aahed over all that she pointed out - her desk, her name on the duty board, the bee decorations etc. By the time she was done, she was chirpy and ready to stay. And by the way, you wouldn't believe the number of pink bags and pink pencil cases everywhere in that room!

The Chinese teacher popped in and we had a brief chat. She was sympathetic and reassuring to both of us and said: its like that here, the children stress themselves and worry because the class is going at a pace where they can't catch up. One girl in Cait's class cries everyday because she feels so overwhelmed! The pace in this school is very fast and they have so much to do - not just school work, but CCA, gym, dance, leadership training etc.

We parted ways at the canteen and I left Cait with her classmates surrounding her. I said hi to her pals Juliet and Maxine and then quietly left. Had a few words with Ms Ang thanking her for her sensitivity in handling Cait. Ms Ang volunteered to cut back on the number of spelling words for her but I said no. She knows her words. It's really me - mummy has to work a lot harder at being a good mummy.

So off I went home to prepare a nice sushi dinner.

At 6.45pm when Cait got off the school bus, she ran in in her own usual exuberant way. I casually asked her, so how was the rest of school today? Great! she beamed. I got all my spelling right, she announced. That's good, I said, giving her a thumbs up. And she shot back: so you owe me a plant.

Okay, I do. And I will. Get her a nice plant I mean.

And footnote to this post: In CHIJ TP gym class and dance class is compulsory and part of the curriculum for P1 to P3. This is not part of PE lessons but actual gym and dance lessons. Gym and Dance are two of several 'Niche' CCAs that the school actively supports. So at a recent parent-teacher briefing, the principal had told us that while CCA is only offered at P3 generally, if the school sees potential in some girls for the niche CCAs, they will invite the girls to take the CCA very early on, from P2 onwards.

It looks like Cait seems to have been shortlisted for the gym CCA or extra gym classes? She came home yesterday telling me that she and her best pal Maxine and two other girls had their names taken down by the coach and a form would be sent to us next week. The girls were asked if they should like to learn 'Jumping Gym' (her words). Early days yet. Maybe this is just for the first cut and then I suppose they will trim the group even more later.

I think it is a good thing for Cait. She likes the idea, very enthusiastic about it. With her ballet background, I think its going to be either Dance or Rhythmic Gym for her. Okay I'm going to sound like a proud boasty mummy here so if you think you can't breathe while reading this blog entry thanks to mummy's big head, please feel free to puncture the balloon! I just am so proud of her and when I watched her dance in her concert, my gut feel just told me that she's got something there. I don't know what it is, a certain grace or spring, but there it is. Plus have you seen her in a leotard???

Okay, I may be running ahead of myself here. Deep breath please. I think I sound more excited than her! But well, I hope she gets in and does well in it. But at the same time, I've got to learn my lesson: DON'T PUSH IT!