Happy New Year

No new year resolutions. I never keep them so why make them?

But here's one thing I am thinking of: I've got to get myself out of the paralysed by fear mode when it comes to BirthRight. Talked to Rita the other day and think I've just got to bite the bullet and do it. Do the business well. Get out my foxhole and not be so afraid of failing. Get the website out, do the marketing, run the courses. And if I fail? Then I fail. Move on. Standing still and not doing anything may be safe but so unfulfilling in the end. I'm so afraid of getting egg on the face that I dare not invest my time, my energy and give it my all. But I think it's time to just heck it and dive in. I have to remember why I am doing this in the first place - to give normal birth a voice, to let mothers know that they have a choice and that they can shape the birth they want. So first thing - get the website going.

2007 is a big year ahead. Gillian's PSLE looms large in the horizon. Asked KH teasingly if he or I were going to take leave, brew chicken soup or buy chicken essence by the cartload. We both laugh.

In reply, he told me that when he tells people about Gillian's grades, he is usually met with a horrified reaction along the lines of: OMG what are you going to do about it?? Are you getting help for her? Tuition? Is your wife quitting her job?

And they are amazed that he, well, we are not more concerned/worried/tearing our hair out etc. Because of our blase response, we are implicitly seen to be less than responsible parents.

But the thing is, we've tried everything under the sun and this is just how it is. Worrying about it, flooding her with tuition etc, stressing out, screaming and ranting just does not help. So we've kind of come to terms with it. Gillian is not going to be the wunderbar academic success most Singaporean parents want their child to be. She is going to go down a different path in life. And we are ok with this. We see what lies ahead for her - ITE, vocational training, possibly nanny school if that's what she is comfortable with and what she wants. It does not make us angsty that she is in EM3 or that she is definitely likely to go into the Normal Tech stream etc. Well, not anymore at least. We've gone past all that.

Are we bad parents? Irresponsible, unfeeling parents? Nope.

I think every child is different and we just have to accept who they are, what they are capable of. Maybe the world would be a more peaceful place if we all learnt to accept our children as who they are and what they can or cannot do.

Certainly, my world at Riang is more peaceful this way.