Gillian's vaccination
Meant to blog about this earlier but forgot! Gill got the usual consent forms from the SHS for vaccination. Well, measles and dipth are mandatory by law so I dutifully filled out the form, giving consent to those. I only withheld consent for polio.
Until two or three days before the SHS visit, I realised that they were going to give both the MMR and the DT shots on the same day. Not a good idea. Bad enough they don't offer single shots for diseases which they say are mandatory for vaccination. So we have to live with the DT (diptheria + tetanus) and the MMR (mumps, measles, rubella) but I always wonder how the powers-that-be plan this sort of thing? Would they like the thought of being pumped with a cocktail of 5 different diseases + any attendant preservatives and chemicals at one go?
The only reason why they would do this is out of convenience, so they don't come back another day for another round of shots. Convenience as a factor vs health implications to the immune system, now that's real logical. Unfortunately that's also the same reason cited for the many vaccinations that babies are subjected in the first 1 to 2 years of life - convenience.
So me being me, I wrote a nice note to the teacher to say I object to one of the shots (but was kind enough to let them decide which one!) if they were both going to be given on the same day. I gave Gillian strict instructions to refuse the oral polio and to call me if they overlooked my note and wanted to give her both shots.
Instead it was the nurse who called. All very pleasant and civil - she didn't ask why I didn't want both shots on the same day, just asked which one I would prefer her to take. So I chose DT. She gave me an appointment for vaccination at the SHS at HPB a month later. But later I realised that a month later meant clashing with the PSLE, so no way I was going to jab her around the PSLE dates. The following month means clashing with the Japan trip - so forget it. Looks like its got to be in December then. But then, if she's retained in P6 this year, I might just forget about vaxing her this year altogether and let the SHS deal with it when they come round next year.
Gillian came back with home with a sore and stiff upper arm. She said she was the envy of her friends for not having two injections that day! Later on, I noticed her upper arm swelled up so much she could hardly lift it to take off her pinafore. The vaccination site was also an angry-looking red and was hot to the touch. All adverse reactions of course. I just pumped her full of Vit C to help boost the system. The swelling, stiffness and redness went away after a few days.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Temptation and sibling loyalty
It all started two days ago with a commotion at the gate.
Gillan came in to tell me that their neighbour friend Melvin had come a-knocking, demanding Isaac to return one of his 'powerful' Duel Master cards. Apparently, Gillian told me, Isaac had taken it, pocketed it and now denied that he ever had it. But both his sisters had witnessed the card falling out of his pocket some days earlier, and saw him picking it up and keeping it.
I cornered Isaac about it. First, the issue was: "I thought I banned you from playing with these wretched cards! I thought I confiscated all of them!" So crime number 1 was to sneak into my wardrobe where I had left the contraband cards and remove them - defiance and disobedience. Crime number two was of course the taking of a card that did not belong to him. That, I said firmly, is theft.
I gave him a tongue-lashing and told him to "make it right." I did not approve of those Duel Masters cards - they distracted him from work, distracted him even from reading as he would often just lay the cards out and play against himself, and even when he was not doing anything, he would take out his cards and flip through them. To add to that, I did not like the illustrations on those cards - we're not talking cute pokemon type illustrations here, but realistic frightening depictions of dragons, monsters and ghouls. So one fine day I got so exasperated by this mindless fixation on the cards that I banned them once and for all.
So I was angry that he had disobeyed me and defied my ban, sneaked in and retrieved his cards. But I was angrier that he had been tempted enough to take a card that did not belong to him and to deny it. I pointed out how one sin often leads to another, and very often, snowballs to bigger things. And by the time one is done, one has left behind a whole avalanche of sadness and anger that affects more and more people. By sneaking around, he had betrayed my trust. To cover up theft, he had lied. And by taking from Melvin, he had lost a friend's trust and respect. Was it worth it? More than any punishment I could dole out, was it worth living like this and feeling as rotten as this?
So my son went back out to the gate, I heard an inaudible chatter of voices - Gillian was also there. And finally, the said card was returned to its rightful owner. When they came back in, I read him a lecture and once again, peace returned. And yes, I banned him AGAIN from those wretched cards promising dire consequences if I ever caught him with them.
The next day, part two of the drama unfolded. This time, I was at work. Isaac called me in tears, hiccuping away over the phone. For him to call me to complain about any sibling, first of all, was rare. For him to be so distressed to be incoherent, was even rarer. Not even when I ticked him off last night was he so upset. So seeing his state, I took this seriously.
The gist of the story was that Gillian had called his beloved cousin to prattle tales about what had happened re the Duel Master card saga the night before. So now my boy is hurt, embarrassed and mortified that his cousin would now see him in such an awful light. Isaac's feet of clay were clearly revealed.
I comforted him as best I could and gave Gillian a brief piece of my mind for the time being. I had to work late that night and could leave the office only at 8pm. KH, Gillian and Fishball came to pick me up. We went for supper and during supper, we talked about it.
I was not angry, but I felt that there were a few points I really needed to put across to her. KH listened quietly as I spoke.
First, I drew her attention to her brother's distress, pointing out that he rarely got into such a state and the fact that he did obviously showed how much her actions had hurt and affected him. I explained how much Isaac valued being seen in a good light by a cousin whom he liked very much, who by her prattling, would never see Isaac in the same light again. In a way, it was innocence lost for both Isaac and his cousin. I asked if she would enjoy it if her siblings revelled in a bad situation she was in and enjoyed telling the whole world about it. She would be as humiliated as Isaac was. I reminded her of a similar incident that involved Caitlin. Then, as it was now, I understood how hurt she felt. Everyone had laughed at her and even KH had thought Cait was just being too sensitive. But I understood. It hurt to the very core.
I reminded Gillian that her first loyalty went to her siblings and her parents. Not to her friends, her cousins or any part of the extended family which includes grandparents, aunts etc. We had to come first. The circle closes inwards first. Because if push comes to shove, we will be ones to close ranks for her. And likewise, I hoped she would do the same to protect, not hurt, her siblings. They have to look out for each other, not pull each other down. Loyalty is a concept which I strongly believe in - and more than anyone, I know how much it hurts when loyalty is not returned. In a large family like ours, it was more important than ever to be loyal to each other.
She listened and nodded. I liked it that we had a civil conversation like this. Just talking, sharing thoughts without me exploding. Gillian is intrinsically a good girl, just thoughtless at times. But her heart is in the right place mostly. She told me that she'd already apologised to Isaac in the afternoon and he had forgiven her. I said I was happy she'd taken the initiative to do so and happy that they're on better terms.
Later when we reached home, I asked Isaac casually, so how are you? And he said, I'm okay now. Gillian and I squared things up.
Okay, I nodded and gave him a hug. He had gotten a lash of the cane from his daddy on the same issue earlier in the evening when I was not around. KH had come to know of this incident and interrogated his son. So the real story was that Isaac had defied me, gone to play with Melvin. Melvin unknowingly dropped his card in the giant fern in our garden. Isaac did not wilfully take it from Melvin. He had found it, intending to return it to Melvin. But for some reason (my guess is that he was tempted), he pocketed it and did not return it and instead left it on the pillar of our gate (strange boy!). So no doubt Gillian got the story wrong and wrongly accused her brother of taking Melvin's card, but KH still gave Isaac a lash of the cane because it was still wrong - he should have returned it and not kept it. It was still dishonest.
Do I worry that my kids will grow up to be felons? Ah well... I still think my kids are essentially good kids. But this incident just highlights how temptation can sometimes get the better of us and how much havoc a bad decision can wreak. I just hope they've learnt something from this whole saga and will be the better and wiser for the experience. Meanwhile this mom needs a break from playing Justice Bao all the time! NATAS tomorrow!
It all started two days ago with a commotion at the gate.
Gillan came in to tell me that their neighbour friend Melvin had come a-knocking, demanding Isaac to return one of his 'powerful' Duel Master cards. Apparently, Gillian told me, Isaac had taken it, pocketed it and now denied that he ever had it. But both his sisters had witnessed the card falling out of his pocket some days earlier, and saw him picking it up and keeping it.
I cornered Isaac about it. First, the issue was: "I thought I banned you from playing with these wretched cards! I thought I confiscated all of them!" So crime number 1 was to sneak into my wardrobe where I had left the contraband cards and remove them - defiance and disobedience. Crime number two was of course the taking of a card that did not belong to him. That, I said firmly, is theft.
I gave him a tongue-lashing and told him to "make it right." I did not approve of those Duel Masters cards - they distracted him from work, distracted him even from reading as he would often just lay the cards out and play against himself, and even when he was not doing anything, he would take out his cards and flip through them. To add to that, I did not like the illustrations on those cards - we're not talking cute pokemon type illustrations here, but realistic frightening depictions of dragons, monsters and ghouls. So one fine day I got so exasperated by this mindless fixation on the cards that I banned them once and for all.
So I was angry that he had disobeyed me and defied my ban, sneaked in and retrieved his cards. But I was angrier that he had been tempted enough to take a card that did not belong to him and to deny it. I pointed out how one sin often leads to another, and very often, snowballs to bigger things. And by the time one is done, one has left behind a whole avalanche of sadness and anger that affects more and more people. By sneaking around, he had betrayed my trust. To cover up theft, he had lied. And by taking from Melvin, he had lost a friend's trust and respect. Was it worth it? More than any punishment I could dole out, was it worth living like this and feeling as rotten as this?
So my son went back out to the gate, I heard an inaudible chatter of voices - Gillian was also there. And finally, the said card was returned to its rightful owner. When they came back in, I read him a lecture and once again, peace returned. And yes, I banned him AGAIN from those wretched cards promising dire consequences if I ever caught him with them.
The next day, part two of the drama unfolded. This time, I was at work. Isaac called me in tears, hiccuping away over the phone. For him to call me to complain about any sibling, first of all, was rare. For him to be so distressed to be incoherent, was even rarer. Not even when I ticked him off last night was he so upset. So seeing his state, I took this seriously.
The gist of the story was that Gillian had called his beloved cousin to prattle tales about what had happened re the Duel Master card saga the night before. So now my boy is hurt, embarrassed and mortified that his cousin would now see him in such an awful light. Isaac's feet of clay were clearly revealed.
I comforted him as best I could and gave Gillian a brief piece of my mind for the time being. I had to work late that night and could leave the office only at 8pm. KH, Gillian and Fishball came to pick me up. We went for supper and during supper, we talked about it.
I was not angry, but I felt that there were a few points I really needed to put across to her. KH listened quietly as I spoke.
First, I drew her attention to her brother's distress, pointing out that he rarely got into such a state and the fact that he did obviously showed how much her actions had hurt and affected him. I explained how much Isaac valued being seen in a good light by a cousin whom he liked very much, who by her prattling, would never see Isaac in the same light again. In a way, it was innocence lost for both Isaac and his cousin. I asked if she would enjoy it if her siblings revelled in a bad situation she was in and enjoyed telling the whole world about it. She would be as humiliated as Isaac was. I reminded her of a similar incident that involved Caitlin. Then, as it was now, I understood how hurt she felt. Everyone had laughed at her and even KH had thought Cait was just being too sensitive. But I understood. It hurt to the very core.
I reminded Gillian that her first loyalty went to her siblings and her parents. Not to her friends, her cousins or any part of the extended family which includes grandparents, aunts etc. We had to come first. The circle closes inwards first. Because if push comes to shove, we will be ones to close ranks for her. And likewise, I hoped she would do the same to protect, not hurt, her siblings. They have to look out for each other, not pull each other down. Loyalty is a concept which I strongly believe in - and more than anyone, I know how much it hurts when loyalty is not returned. In a large family like ours, it was more important than ever to be loyal to each other.
She listened and nodded. I liked it that we had a civil conversation like this. Just talking, sharing thoughts without me exploding. Gillian is intrinsically a good girl, just thoughtless at times. But her heart is in the right place mostly. She told me that she'd already apologised to Isaac in the afternoon and he had forgiven her. I said I was happy she'd taken the initiative to do so and happy that they're on better terms.
Later when we reached home, I asked Isaac casually, so how are you? And he said, I'm okay now. Gillian and I squared things up.
Okay, I nodded and gave him a hug. He had gotten a lash of the cane from his daddy on the same issue earlier in the evening when I was not around. KH had come to know of this incident and interrogated his son. So the real story was that Isaac had defied me, gone to play with Melvin. Melvin unknowingly dropped his card in the giant fern in our garden. Isaac did not wilfully take it from Melvin. He had found it, intending to return it to Melvin. But for some reason (my guess is that he was tempted), he pocketed it and did not return it and instead left it on the pillar of our gate (strange boy!). So no doubt Gillian got the story wrong and wrongly accused her brother of taking Melvin's card, but KH still gave Isaac a lash of the cane because it was still wrong - he should have returned it and not kept it. It was still dishonest.
Do I worry that my kids will grow up to be felons? Ah well... I still think my kids are essentially good kids. But this incident just highlights how temptation can sometimes get the better of us and how much havoc a bad decision can wreak. I just hope they've learnt something from this whole saga and will be the better and wiser for the experience. Meanwhile this mom needs a break from playing Justice Bao all the time! NATAS tomorrow!
Monday, September 10, 2007
TV addict
I was on the phone with Gillian and a mournful-sounding Fishball. And the background track to this was: Trinity screaming her head off. Long story. But the gist of it was something along the lines of Trin throwing a tantrum because we ran out of 'bubble soap'. Owain sounded mournful and sorry because he did something which he knew I would not approve of and in the process of the kick-up, woke up a sleeping Trin, who then went ballistic due to lack of sleep. To appease the screaming baby and the depressed-sounding Fishball, I okayed some TV time.
Peace and quiet.
After about 45minutes of this, I called them back to say: okay, now that everyone is happier, turn off the tv. Too much tv is bad blah blah blah... the kids know my drill.
Barely 5 minutes after I hung up, the phone rang. It was Gillian. And in the background? Trin screaming away. She was about to dance to the music on the telly when Gillian pulled the plug.
I listened to the screams for about a minute. They were loud - an understatement. Take her outside for a walk, I suggested. She's already outside, said Gillian. It was true, the screams were fading, but still there, suggesting that she was still screaming her head off despite Lolita carrying her out for a walk. Read a book to her, I say. Mum, she won't even sit still for us to read to her, counters Gillian. She's right. When Trin is in one of her tantrums, all hell really does break loose at home. Her banshee wails rival the decibel levels of a jet taking off.
So I succumbed. Never use tv as a baby-sitter. Children need more exciting, hands-on activities and not more tv to engage them. I totally agree. But in the face of those screams, and me being miles away in my safe, quiet office environment, I give in. Okay, I tell Gillian, turn the tv back on.
Mental note to self: meaningful activities tomorrow when I'm home! And NO tv!
I was on the phone with Gillian and a mournful-sounding Fishball. And the background track to this was: Trinity screaming her head off. Long story. But the gist of it was something along the lines of Trin throwing a tantrum because we ran out of 'bubble soap'. Owain sounded mournful and sorry because he did something which he knew I would not approve of and in the process of the kick-up, woke up a sleeping Trin, who then went ballistic due to lack of sleep. To appease the screaming baby and the depressed-sounding Fishball, I okayed some TV time.
Peace and quiet.
After about 45minutes of this, I called them back to say: okay, now that everyone is happier, turn off the tv. Too much tv is bad blah blah blah... the kids know my drill.
Barely 5 minutes after I hung up, the phone rang. It was Gillian. And in the background? Trin screaming away. She was about to dance to the music on the telly when Gillian pulled the plug.
I listened to the screams for about a minute. They were loud - an understatement. Take her outside for a walk, I suggested. She's already outside, said Gillian. It was true, the screams were fading, but still there, suggesting that she was still screaming her head off despite Lolita carrying her out for a walk. Read a book to her, I say. Mum, she won't even sit still for us to read to her, counters Gillian. She's right. When Trin is in one of her tantrums, all hell really does break loose at home. Her banshee wails rival the decibel levels of a jet taking off.
So I succumbed. Never use tv as a baby-sitter. Children need more exciting, hands-on activities and not more tv to engage them. I totally agree. But in the face of those screams, and me being miles away in my safe, quiet office environment, I give in. Okay, I tell Gillian, turn the tv back on.
Mental note to self: meaningful activities tomorrow when I'm home! And NO tv!
A confirmed itinerary at last!
Planning for this Japan trip has been a series of one step forward, two steps back. I was almost beginning to think that someone up there does not want me to go on this trip!
First, my plan to book accomodation at the Tokyo International Youth Hostel was scuttled when they announced re-building plans right smack in the middle of my proposed stay. So got to look elsewhere for a roof over our heads. I finally settled on House Ikebukuro, and was told to book only on the first of September for a November stay. When I dutifully logged on on 1 Sept, the system announced that the annex room I wanted was fully booked! Bang head against wall and try again. Finally, I got a place at a small budget hotel nearer Disneyland. Things were looking up when I managed to get a room at the very cute Ryokan Kangetsu. Then when I planned to book my shinkansen+hotel arrangements in Hakone/Kyoto, I came up against a wall. The dates that I wanted were all, yes, fully booked. It was, the email informed me, the height of the autumn-leaf viewing season. sigh. Okay, so there went Hakone. When I tried to book just the Kyoto component, the budget range of accomodation was also fully booked, so no choice but to book the next grade.
But finally, I think I've nailed it. Got all the confirmations already.
To add to the excitement, last Friday at the Staff Communication Session, Chee Yong shared with the School his experiences bringing the students on a study trip to Japan. Showed gorgeous slides of Kyoto and Tokyo. One of the students had found out by chance, where the geishas (usually very hard to see in Kyoto!) hide out, so the group staked out the building and were able to get lovely pictures of the maikos and geikos all made up and dressed up in their glorious kimonos, teetering on their getas and heading out for a night's work in the early evening. I was so thrilled to see this and made Chee Yong promise to draw me a map of the place, which is somewhere in Pontocho. Can't wait!
So my confirmed itinerary is:
Saturday Nov 17 - arrive in Tokyo. KH and Team A heads into Tokyo city first and will check in at our hotel, the Family Resort Fifty's At Maihama. Team B and I arrive later in the evening.
Sunday Nov 18 - we will go to Asakusa, shopping for sembei at Nakamise Dori, perfume ourselves with incense at Sensoji, then break for lunch, take the Suijo bus down the Sumida-gawa to the lovely Hama Rikyu-koen, once a daimyo's garden, now complete with strolling paths, bridges, pavilions and tea houses. From there, walk in to the nearby Ginza area, take the Yurikamome line (the elevated driverless train) to the futuristic enclave of Odaiba. We will visit Miraikan (the National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation), eat Ramen at the Decks' Ramen 'theme park', check out the lovely views and then head back to the hotel.
Monday Nov 19 - Disneyland!
Tuesday Nov 20 - DisneySea!
Wednesday Nov 21 - Take the shinkansen, zoom past Mt Fuji and be in the ancient capital Kyoto by 9.30am! We will be staying at the New Miyako Hotel, just behind the JR Kyoto Station, so it will be very convenient. Once we leave our bags, we will go east to Higashiyama region and see the Kiyomizudera Temple, Nanzen-ji and check out the pedestrian shopping streets nearby so typical of Kyoto. If we have time, we will go further north to the Philosopher's Walk to see Ginkakuji - the Silver Pavilion. Dinner nearby, checking out Pontocho in the evening.
Thursday Nov 22 - Osaka-jo to take the pictures KH wants (he was there in 1984 while sailing on the high seas as part of his industrial attachment). Then to the Kaiyukan, the Osaka Aquarium, to see the famous whale sharks. Back in the mid afternoon to see Nijo-jo (to check out the shogun's home and his famous nightingale floors - they squeak to warn the shogun of enemies)
Friday, Nov 23 - Tofukuji in the morning (this is a known koyo spot famed for its autumn leaves, so the place will be packed), Ryoanji (famous for its Zen rock garden) and if time permits, Kinkakuji in the late morning/lunch, Arashiyama and its bamboo groves, moss gardens, Togetsukyo bridge and the Sagano train in the late afternoon/evening.
Saturday Nov 24 - Fushimi Inari shrine in the morning. Leave Kyoto by 2pm on the shinkansen and arrive in Tokyo 2.5hrs later. Check into the lovely Ryokan Kangetsu, soak in the rotenburo! Hit Shinjuku for the night scene (lots of people and neon!) and TMG Observation Tower 1 for the lovely evening/sunset over Tokyo scene - a fitting end to our Japan trip.
Sunday Nov 25 - Meiji-jingu shrine in Yoyogi Park. See the fascinating cosplay at Harajuku. Shop at Takeshita-dori - must check out Oriental Bazaar and Uniqlo for cheap n good yukatas and clothes. Be at the airport by 4pm. We fly at 7pm and arrive in Singapore at 1.20am - conked!! KH and Team A will leave first (15min ahead of us) on NW. My SQ flight arrives 25min later than they would, so the difference is negligible.
Can foresee that I will be dead tired after this vacation! And dead broke too! It feels like a go-go-go kind of itinerary and just reading it makes me feel really exhausted. I am open to tweaking it or deleting some parts of it as we go - a lot will depend on the kids and if/when they (or I!) have meltdowns.
Planning for this Japan trip has been a series of one step forward, two steps back. I was almost beginning to think that someone up there does not want me to go on this trip!
First, my plan to book accomodation at the Tokyo International Youth Hostel was scuttled when they announced re-building plans right smack in the middle of my proposed stay. So got to look elsewhere for a roof over our heads. I finally settled on House Ikebukuro, and was told to book only on the first of September for a November stay. When I dutifully logged on on 1 Sept, the system announced that the annex room I wanted was fully booked! Bang head against wall and try again. Finally, I got a place at a small budget hotel nearer Disneyland. Things were looking up when I managed to get a room at the very cute Ryokan Kangetsu. Then when I planned to book my shinkansen+hotel arrangements in Hakone/Kyoto, I came up against a wall. The dates that I wanted were all, yes, fully booked. It was, the email informed me, the height of the autumn-leaf viewing season. sigh. Okay, so there went Hakone. When I tried to book just the Kyoto component, the budget range of accomodation was also fully booked, so no choice but to book the next grade.
But finally, I think I've nailed it. Got all the confirmations already.
To add to the excitement, last Friday at the Staff Communication Session, Chee Yong shared with the School his experiences bringing the students on a study trip to Japan. Showed gorgeous slides of Kyoto and Tokyo. One of the students had found out by chance, where the geishas (usually very hard to see in Kyoto!) hide out, so the group staked out the building and were able to get lovely pictures of the maikos and geikos all made up and dressed up in their glorious kimonos, teetering on their getas and heading out for a night's work in the early evening. I was so thrilled to see this and made Chee Yong promise to draw me a map of the place, which is somewhere in Pontocho. Can't wait!
So my confirmed itinerary is:
Saturday Nov 17 - arrive in Tokyo. KH and Team A heads into Tokyo city first and will check in at our hotel, the Family Resort Fifty's At Maihama. Team B and I arrive later in the evening.
Sunday Nov 18 - we will go to Asakusa, shopping for sembei at Nakamise Dori, perfume ourselves with incense at Sensoji, then break for lunch, take the Suijo bus down the Sumida-gawa to the lovely Hama Rikyu-koen, once a daimyo's garden, now complete with strolling paths, bridges, pavilions and tea houses. From there, walk in to the nearby Ginza area, take the Yurikamome line (the elevated driverless train) to the futuristic enclave of Odaiba. We will visit Miraikan (the National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation), eat Ramen at the Decks' Ramen 'theme park', check out the lovely views and then head back to the hotel.
Monday Nov 19 - Disneyland!
Tuesday Nov 20 - DisneySea!
Wednesday Nov 21 - Take the shinkansen, zoom past Mt Fuji and be in the ancient capital Kyoto by 9.30am! We will be staying at the New Miyako Hotel, just behind the JR Kyoto Station, so it will be very convenient. Once we leave our bags, we will go east to Higashiyama region and see the Kiyomizudera Temple, Nanzen-ji and check out the pedestrian shopping streets nearby so typical of Kyoto. If we have time, we will go further north to the Philosopher's Walk to see Ginkakuji - the Silver Pavilion. Dinner nearby, checking out Pontocho in the evening.
Thursday Nov 22 - Osaka-jo to take the pictures KH wants (he was there in 1984 while sailing on the high seas as part of his industrial attachment). Then to the Kaiyukan, the Osaka Aquarium, to see the famous whale sharks. Back in the mid afternoon to see Nijo-jo (to check out the shogun's home and his famous nightingale floors - they squeak to warn the shogun of enemies)
Friday, Nov 23 - Tofukuji in the morning (this is a known koyo spot famed for its autumn leaves, so the place will be packed), Ryoanji (famous for its Zen rock garden) and if time permits, Kinkakuji in the late morning/lunch, Arashiyama and its bamboo groves, moss gardens, Togetsukyo bridge and the Sagano train in the late afternoon/evening.
Saturday Nov 24 - Fushimi Inari shrine in the morning. Leave Kyoto by 2pm on the shinkansen and arrive in Tokyo 2.5hrs later. Check into the lovely Ryokan Kangetsu, soak in the rotenburo! Hit Shinjuku for the night scene (lots of people and neon!) and TMG Observation Tower 1 for the lovely evening/sunset over Tokyo scene - a fitting end to our Japan trip.
Sunday Nov 25 - Meiji-jingu shrine in Yoyogi Park. See the fascinating cosplay at Harajuku. Shop at Takeshita-dori - must check out Oriental Bazaar and Uniqlo for cheap n good yukatas and clothes. Be at the airport by 4pm. We fly at 7pm and arrive in Singapore at 1.20am - conked!! KH and Team A will leave first (15min ahead of us) on NW. My SQ flight arrives 25min later than they would, so the difference is negligible.
Can foresee that I will be dead tired after this vacation! And dead broke too! It feels like a go-go-go kind of itinerary and just reading it makes me feel really exhausted. I am open to tweaking it or deleting some parts of it as we go - a lot will depend on the kids and if/when they (or I!) have meltdowns.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
The Fishball is 4!
After months of anticipation, the day finally dawned. My fishball turned 4 on Aug 31. Malaysia's National Day. Every year, the boy gets fireworks on his birthday.
This was the day I thought we'd agreed to put up the sign that says: No more nen-nen for four-year-old boys.
But I was wrong.
After being reminded by his daddy that he'd agreed to no more nen-nen when he turned four, he u-turned and said he still needed nen-nen cos he was still a baby, and he would only stop when he became a bigger boy - like when he turns 5! So we made a deal: He would drink nen-nen only once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once at night before bedtime. But no more nen-nen at night. Intrigued by my proposal, he agreed and we hooked pinkies on it.
The deal lasted about 12 hours. After a day filled with presents (Bionicles - Barraki! Which he put together himself following the instruction booklet!), Ratatouille, sushi and cake (luscious cream cake loaded with strawberries!), he went to bed exhausted and happy. Yes we nursed to sleep - he happily reminded me of our 'deal'. But in the middle of the night, he woke again and asked to nurse. When I reminded him of our deal, he sleepily wailed: But Mu-ummm... Can we make another deal???
So my steadfast nurser is back at the breast - he never really left. Unlike children who nurse less as they grow older, this guy is nursing more and more! With Trinity, they are clamouring for nen-nen almost once every hour when I'm at home - if its not the Fishball, its Trin. So anyone who drops in for a visit is likely to find me (a) lolling on the sofa nursing (b) clicking at Granny (nursing) or (c) reading a book or the papers and nursing (d) eating at the dining table and nursing or sometimes even (e) coaching the older kids in homework and yes, nursing! About the only time when I do NOT have a kid at the breast is when I am in the shower!
When the nipples were really eczemic, it would be worse - super painful, wet, sticky etc. But I have to say that my eczemic nipples are much improved! I bought some Elomet from Guardian in Malacca and applied (sparingly according to instructions) and voila! worked! No more weepy, red or itchy lesions! I have not had a bad outbreak since early August! This is the longest period I have been eczema-free since it first started, when Trin was 6 months old! Not to say that it has cleared completely but when I see the signs of it inching back ie dry itch, mild, pinkish rash etc I apply the Elomet again and that takes care of it. I have not had cause to apply Elomet in days (touch wood in case I am hexing myself!).
So with Owain and Trin both nursing so enthusiastically away, and the eczema receding (fingers crossed!) I feel better about nursing indefinitely.
After months of anticipation, the day finally dawned. My fishball turned 4 on Aug 31. Malaysia's National Day. Every year, the boy gets fireworks on his birthday.
This was the day I thought we'd agreed to put up the sign that says: No more nen-nen for four-year-old boys.
But I was wrong.
After being reminded by his daddy that he'd agreed to no more nen-nen when he turned four, he u-turned and said he still needed nen-nen cos he was still a baby, and he would only stop when he became a bigger boy - like when he turns 5! So we made a deal: He would drink nen-nen only once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once at night before bedtime. But no more nen-nen at night. Intrigued by my proposal, he agreed and we hooked pinkies on it.
The deal lasted about 12 hours. After a day filled with presents (Bionicles - Barraki! Which he put together himself following the instruction booklet!), Ratatouille, sushi and cake (luscious cream cake loaded with strawberries!), he went to bed exhausted and happy. Yes we nursed to sleep - he happily reminded me of our 'deal'. But in the middle of the night, he woke again and asked to nurse. When I reminded him of our deal, he sleepily wailed: But Mu-ummm... Can we make another deal???
So my steadfast nurser is back at the breast - he never really left. Unlike children who nurse less as they grow older, this guy is nursing more and more! With Trinity, they are clamouring for nen-nen almost once every hour when I'm at home - if its not the Fishball, its Trin. So anyone who drops in for a visit is likely to find me (a) lolling on the sofa nursing (b) clicking at Granny (nursing) or (c) reading a book or the papers and nursing (d) eating at the dining table and nursing or sometimes even (e) coaching the older kids in homework and yes, nursing! About the only time when I do NOT have a kid at the breast is when I am in the shower!
When the nipples were really eczemic, it would be worse - super painful, wet, sticky etc. But I have to say that my eczemic nipples are much improved! I bought some Elomet from Guardian in Malacca and applied (sparingly according to instructions) and voila! worked! No more weepy, red or itchy lesions! I have not had a bad outbreak since early August! This is the longest period I have been eczema-free since it first started, when Trin was 6 months old! Not to say that it has cleared completely but when I see the signs of it inching back ie dry itch, mild, pinkish rash etc I apply the Elomet again and that takes care of it. I have not had cause to apply Elomet in days (touch wood in case I am hexing myself!).
So with Owain and Trin both nursing so enthusiastically away, and the eczema receding (fingers crossed!) I feel better about nursing indefinitely.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Trinity can say...
This! (usually when pointing to my breast)
Dig! (usually when watching me play Granny)
No! (when the kids try to grab something she has)
Fish! (when she sees fish in a tank lah!)
Shoe (when she wants to go out)
Me! (when she wants me to carry her)
Drink (obvious)
One, two, three, four, five... (usually looking out the car window)
That's it. The grand total of 12 words in her vocabulary. Which is a big leap, I have to say, from a few months back. Still no sign of 'mummy', 'mama', 'papa' etc though.
But she can now point to her basic body parts: nose, mouth (she opens really wide), ears (pulls them real hard), hands, legs. We'll try to teach her 'hair' and 'tummy' soon.
She understands things well enough. Like...
Kiss! (this depends on her mood. When she really gets into the mood, she'll hold my face and give me wet kisses all over my mouth, chin etc. When she's not in the mood, she'll do the chi-chi thing and air-kiss, cheek-to-cheek)
Give me (yes she will obediently hand over whatever she has. Unless she wants it real bad and then we have a tantrum on our hands)
Throw in the bin (still gets it a bit mixed up with the laundry basket. Needs more work)
When I scold her, she looks down, pouts a bit, lower lip jutting out. Then she will ignore all stern commands to "Look at me when I'm talking to you young lady!" She won't cry - she'll just sulk in silence. Oh yeah, she knows when she's in the doghouse.
And as for me, I need to learn a few things too. First, the ability to keep a straight face when I am scolding cute little people like Trin or Owain. Inevitably, the sight of the cute face, the big eyes and I have to stifle the urgent need to howl with laughter. Its all got to do with my Fatal Tendency - to laugh during very inappropriate moments - that's why most funerals see me trying to stifle my giggles. It's terrible...
I need to perfect this art fast - before my kids realise what I've been trying to hide for so long - that they can pretty much yank my chain and get away with it, not all the time, but too darn often!
This! (usually when pointing to my breast)
Dig! (usually when watching me play Granny)
No! (when the kids try to grab something she has)
Fish! (when she sees fish in a tank lah!)
Shoe (when she wants to go out)
Me! (when she wants me to carry her)
Drink (obvious)
One, two, three, four, five... (usually looking out the car window)
That's it. The grand total of 12 words in her vocabulary. Which is a big leap, I have to say, from a few months back. Still no sign of 'mummy', 'mama', 'papa' etc though.
But she can now point to her basic body parts: nose, mouth (she opens really wide), ears (pulls them real hard), hands, legs. We'll try to teach her 'hair' and 'tummy' soon.
She understands things well enough. Like...
Kiss! (this depends on her mood. When she really gets into the mood, she'll hold my face and give me wet kisses all over my mouth, chin etc. When she's not in the mood, she'll do the chi-chi thing and air-kiss, cheek-to-cheek)
Give me (yes she will obediently hand over whatever she has. Unless she wants it real bad and then we have a tantrum on our hands)
Throw in the bin (still gets it a bit mixed up with the laundry basket. Needs more work)
When I scold her, she looks down, pouts a bit, lower lip jutting out. Then she will ignore all stern commands to "Look at me when I'm talking to you young lady!" She won't cry - she'll just sulk in silence. Oh yeah, she knows when she's in the doghouse.
And as for me, I need to learn a few things too. First, the ability to keep a straight face when I am scolding cute little people like Trin or Owain. Inevitably, the sight of the cute face, the big eyes and I have to stifle the urgent need to howl with laughter. Its all got to do with my Fatal Tendency - to laugh during very inappropriate moments - that's why most funerals see me trying to stifle my giggles. It's terrible...
I need to perfect this art fast - before my kids realise what I've been trying to hide for so long - that they can pretty much yank my chain and get away with it, not all the time, but too darn often!
Estate Upgrading
PM Lee spoke of private estates who would be getting some upgrading in his National Day Rally speech. Barely a week after that, the grassroots leader rang our bell, passing us a letter inviting us to a neighbourhood gathering where the MP would make this important announcement.
So on Saturday evening, at 5.30pm, we made our way to the neighbourhood playground. A tent was set up, buffet tables at the ready and a sound system that works (we know because Celine Dion had been wailing away since 3pm earlier). We saw our neighbours, said hi, chatted here and there. The kids queued up for balloons, burst them and promptly queued up again.
Finally at 5.45pm, there was a flurry of activity. Two buses pulled up, the path into the playground was flanked by yellow-shirted grassroots activists and helpers. The speakers whined and someone announced the arrival of Mah Bow Tan, Minister for National Development, then Lim Hwee Hua, MOS for Finance... and finally our MP! I murmured to KH: That's why the press is here - they've brought out the big guns...
The powers-that-be wended their way through the crowd, shaking hands along the way. And for some unknown reason, went to the back of the playground where everyone seemed to be pointing at and discussing the tiny long-kang! Then a whine of the speakers again as the entourage made their way back to the main space and our MP started to speak.
He spoke for about 10min but I believe the gist of what he said could be summed up in one line: We are getting estate upgrading.
Whoopie. For this I interruped a game of Granny??
No details about what was to be done, when work was commencing, when it was targetted to end, no storyboards, no models, no artists' impressions of the finished product etc. It was supposed to cost about $5million I think.
We looked around the estate - what kind of upgrading could they do? There was talk about sealing the drains - but I prefer my drains left uncovered thank you very much! The stonework is pretty and the gleam of green-gold everytime the sun hits the mossy banks of the drains is really lovely. I guess they could replace the lamp-posts, but these looked and functioned well, so why? Maybe they could upgrade the playground? Add a wading pool?? Put up a tall net next to the Nasty Aunty's wall so that kids can play a round or two of football in peace? Now that would be money well-spent!
Finally, as at all good Singaporean events, the ministers gave their sound-bites surrounded by tape recorders and the scribes, flanked by an outer ring of solemn, perpetually nodding grassroots leaders. The rest of us just headed for the buffet table. Well, we just got a drink or two of the usual sweet punch and then headed home.
Later that night, we caught the event on the news and had a lot of fun pointing out to each other - hey, that's uncle! hey mom I think I saw me on tv!! Ooh there's Jack from across the road! Is that Isaac right there?? There! That flash in green. You didn't catch it? alamak, over so fast!
So since the ministers and the MP did not tell us what we really really wanted to know, we just have to wait for the letter to arrive in the post, the story to be unveiled on page 1 of The Straits Times or for the workmen to arrive. Or all of the above.
PM Lee spoke of private estates who would be getting some upgrading in his National Day Rally speech. Barely a week after that, the grassroots leader rang our bell, passing us a letter inviting us to a neighbourhood gathering where the MP would make this important announcement.
So on Saturday evening, at 5.30pm, we made our way to the neighbourhood playground. A tent was set up, buffet tables at the ready and a sound system that works (we know because Celine Dion had been wailing away since 3pm earlier). We saw our neighbours, said hi, chatted here and there. The kids queued up for balloons, burst them and promptly queued up again.
Finally at 5.45pm, there was a flurry of activity. Two buses pulled up, the path into the playground was flanked by yellow-shirted grassroots activists and helpers. The speakers whined and someone announced the arrival of Mah Bow Tan, Minister for National Development, then Lim Hwee Hua, MOS for Finance... and finally our MP! I murmured to KH: That's why the press is here - they've brought out the big guns...
The powers-that-be wended their way through the crowd, shaking hands along the way. And for some unknown reason, went to the back of the playground where everyone seemed to be pointing at and discussing the tiny long-kang! Then a whine of the speakers again as the entourage made their way back to the main space and our MP started to speak.
He spoke for about 10min but I believe the gist of what he said could be summed up in one line: We are getting estate upgrading.
Whoopie. For this I interruped a game of Granny??
No details about what was to be done, when work was commencing, when it was targetted to end, no storyboards, no models, no artists' impressions of the finished product etc. It was supposed to cost about $5million I think.
We looked around the estate - what kind of upgrading could they do? There was talk about sealing the drains - but I prefer my drains left uncovered thank you very much! The stonework is pretty and the gleam of green-gold everytime the sun hits the mossy banks of the drains is really lovely. I guess they could replace the lamp-posts, but these looked and functioned well, so why? Maybe they could upgrade the playground? Add a wading pool?? Put up a tall net next to the Nasty Aunty's wall so that kids can play a round or two of football in peace? Now that would be money well-spent!
Finally, as at all good Singaporean events, the ministers gave their sound-bites surrounded by tape recorders and the scribes, flanked by an outer ring of solemn, perpetually nodding grassroots leaders. The rest of us just headed for the buffet table. Well, we just got a drink or two of the usual sweet punch and then headed home.
Later that night, we caught the event on the news and had a lot of fun pointing out to each other - hey, that's uncle! hey mom I think I saw me on tv!! Ooh there's Jack from across the road! Is that Isaac right there?? There! That flash in green. You didn't catch it? alamak, over so fast!
So since the ministers and the MP did not tell us what we really really wanted to know, we just have to wait for the letter to arrive in the post, the story to be unveiled on page 1 of The Straits Times or for the workmen to arrive. Or all of the above.
"Stay calm in a crisis!"
Wise words from a son who missed the bus, got lost, walked the better part of 5km home, got hugged by a stranger and yes, who stayed calm through it all.
Isaac, so tired after CCAs, took the bus home (bus number 153) and fell asleep. He missed the stop, (which was supposed to be just after the CTE, at Braddell Heights) and went all the way to the fringes of Hougang (just after the Tampines Road/Kovan junction) before he woke up and realised what had happened. He dropped off at the bus-stop near those food stalls that sold durians and the famous Ponggol Nasi Lemak. So it was quite a distance to walk!
The boy got off the bus, but didn't have a phone (long story here) and all polite requests to strangers to use their phones were refused. I'm pretty indignant here because we've taught him to ask nicely on the belief that most would help a lost, young boy, well at least I would, but looks like my faith in Singaporeans are a bit misplaced.
So since he could not call, he decided to walk home. Luckily he had been paying attention everytime we drove to Aunty Rita's house. He recognised the Tampines Road junction and trudged on. It was a straight road down to all the way to Serangoon Central and there was nothing for it but to walk. Down he went, past Kovan, past the Helping Hand, past the OCBC Bank, past the famous 711 durian stall and on.
Somewhere near the Boundary Road junction, a man pounced on him and grabbed from the back in a shoulder-lock and mumbled something in dialect. Now I would have just screamed my lungs out. Or struggled or kicked hard where it matters. But my son just said politely, in his inimitable way, remaining still, "Er excuse me. Could you please let go of me?" He said he had to repeat it a few times before the man decided to let him go. Clearly, he told me, that man was not quite right in the head, but gut feel said he didn't mean any harm.
I was horrified. Yes the man should be in a mental hospital for grabbing young boys on the street. But I was also impressed by the boy's calm. When I asked him why he didn't shout for help, he said, "What's the point of screaming and shouting? Better to remain calm in a crisis!" This from a boy who always hems and haws whenever we ask him to ask for extra ketchup at the McDonalds counter!
Finally, the man let him go. Once released, off he went again, past Serangoon Central, past Serangoon MRT, under my mom's apartment block. It never occured to him to stop and ask Mama or Grandad for help - he said he was so near already he might as well just continue walking home. So he did. Tired and sweaty after walking so far. Quite an adventure.
I'm just so glad he made it. In one piece!
Wise words from a son who missed the bus, got lost, walked the better part of 5km home, got hugged by a stranger and yes, who stayed calm through it all.
Isaac, so tired after CCAs, took the bus home (bus number 153) and fell asleep. He missed the stop, (which was supposed to be just after the CTE, at Braddell Heights) and went all the way to the fringes of Hougang (just after the Tampines Road/Kovan junction) before he woke up and realised what had happened. He dropped off at the bus-stop near those food stalls that sold durians and the famous Ponggol Nasi Lemak. So it was quite a distance to walk!
The boy got off the bus, but didn't have a phone (long story here) and all polite requests to strangers to use their phones were refused. I'm pretty indignant here because we've taught him to ask nicely on the belief that most would help a lost, young boy, well at least I would, but looks like my faith in Singaporeans are a bit misplaced.
So since he could not call, he decided to walk home. Luckily he had been paying attention everytime we drove to Aunty Rita's house. He recognised the Tampines Road junction and trudged on. It was a straight road down to all the way to Serangoon Central and there was nothing for it but to walk. Down he went, past Kovan, past the Helping Hand, past the OCBC Bank, past the famous 711 durian stall and on.
Somewhere near the Boundary Road junction, a man pounced on him and grabbed from the back in a shoulder-lock and mumbled something in dialect. Now I would have just screamed my lungs out. Or struggled or kicked hard where it matters. But my son just said politely, in his inimitable way, remaining still, "Er excuse me. Could you please let go of me?" He said he had to repeat it a few times before the man decided to let him go. Clearly, he told me, that man was not quite right in the head, but gut feel said he didn't mean any harm.
I was horrified. Yes the man should be in a mental hospital for grabbing young boys on the street. But I was also impressed by the boy's calm. When I asked him why he didn't shout for help, he said, "What's the point of screaming and shouting? Better to remain calm in a crisis!" This from a boy who always hems and haws whenever we ask him to ask for extra ketchup at the McDonalds counter!
Finally, the man let him go. Once released, off he went again, past Serangoon Central, past Serangoon MRT, under my mom's apartment block. It never occured to him to stop and ask Mama or Grandad for help - he said he was so near already he might as well just continue walking home. So he did. Tired and sweaty after walking so far. Quite an adventure.
I'm just so glad he made it. In one piece!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Back from Malacca
After suffering Malacca and KL withdrawal symptoms for most of the year, we finally made a trip up north over the ND holiday- our first this year!
While it felt good to be back, the trip came with a teeny bit of drama. At the Tuas checkpoint, we discovered that Isaac's passport only had 2 months left before expiry. The usual requirement for travel is a 6 month allowance of validity. But we were all packed, the car was loaded as usual with kids, luggage, sweets, comforters, pillows etc so turning back felt like such a boo-boo. Luckily Malaysian immigration didn't detect this and waved us through.
Then the next day we headed up to KL. Spent a day at the Times Square theme park which was nice and empty, so no queues for the rides. Ended the day at my sister's place checking out her three dogs - canine cousins to my kids. Magz, the Shih-Tzu she saved, no longer had the maggoty hole in the head - its healed very nicely. And he was so manja and sweet-natured, always toddling off after her, letting the kids stroke his head and body, no nipping/snapping etc. Wolfie, apparently the Alpha male in the house, was more aggressive and barked at the kids a couple of times. Have to hand it to the kids - no one wailed, screamed when Wolfie barked in their faces (and yes it was loud!). When he barked in her face, Trin just looked taken aback and coolly walked away and Owain just scrambled on the sofa when Wolfie got a bit loud. Poppet, dog number 1 that my sister adopted, looked forlorn most of the time. I felt a bit sorry for him - he was head honcho until Wolfie came along. According to Viv, Wolf is now numero uno in the doggie hierarchy at home, and having taken Magz under his wing, Magz is now number 2 and poor Pops has been relegated to the back of the ranks. Luckily he's still quite the ladies' man and very popular with all the girl-dogs he meets!
Had dinner in a small restaurant in a quiet residential estate - the food was good. Isaac was running a very high fever. No children's paracet so he had to chew down one adult tablet - very ugh. After that we drove back to Malacca.
Next day we had dinner with my SIL and BIL who happened to be in Malacca for a couple-only weekend, sans kids. After dinner at Bei Zhan restaurant (whose food was not so good that night and service a tad snotty), we all piled into our car - 5 kids + 4 adults! It was a short ride so I had Owain with me on my lap. Driving back to Jonker, we were pulled over by a policeman. When KH tried to get out of the car, the policeman waved him back in and said, no need to get out just wind down window. He asked to see KH's licence. Then he said KH and I were not wearing our seat belts and wanted to fine us RM200 each!! Well, we all knew what was coming. KH asked delicately, could we erm, settle this here instead of paying the fine at the border. Policeman said, ok, how do you want to settle it? KH said, I'll settle with RM50. Oh RM50! said the policeman, rolling his eyes, so little! The fine is RM400 total you know... But despite the theatrics, the guy finally said, okay lah. Money changed hands so quickly even I could not tell what happened. Sleight of hand. Next thing I knew he gave a parting grin and a wave and drove off on his bike. Malaysia boleh!!
Last time this happened to us was on the Kota Tinggi Road in Johor. At the height of the MM row when he mouthed off about JB being a hotbed of crime etc - that sparked off a pretty nasty diplomatic spat. So when we, and another Singaporean car, were pulled over, the policemen there did not bother entertaining any suggestion of 'settling it' - they hauled both cars off to the nearest police station where we had to pay a RM300 fine. This was long before Badawi and his crusade for cleanliness in the force. It was unusual because back then it was common knowledge that being pulled over was (1) normal for Singaporean vehicles to be targetted and (2) it was a sideline for easy kopi money. No doubt a long dormant sense of patriotism must have been awakened due to the spat and they were not taking any kopi money for this.
Now I'm not going to stand on my soapbox and give a moving speech about integrity and honesty etc. Yes, it was a form of bribery/corruption and was less than honest. But it was also something that, to me, makes part of the charm that makes Malaysia what it is. The revelation of a bit of an underbelly, an almost entrepreneural reading between the lines of the law. Yes in contrast Singapore is efficient, honest blah blah blah... but I think we lack that teensy defiant lick of unsavoury sleazy charm that makes a country that bit more interesting and 'human'. So Happy National Day! Maybe with the IRs coming up we can see more of the Danny Ocean emerging in the average Singaporean.
Meanwhile, Isaac and KH were both down with high fever. But fever or not, we still went swimming in the condo pool, hit the pasar malam at Jonker, had the ubiquitous chendol and mee siam at Donald & Lily's, shopped at Mahkota, the kids blew RM20 on arcade games and kiddie rides, found a new bootleg DVD place with honest pirates (they told us honestly which DVD movie was still 'bu qing' ie not clear yet and 'not master copy'!). And we drove home on Saturday satisfied for the time being. And incidentally, even though Secret Recipe in Malaysia is cheaper than Singapore by about 50% (thanks to the currency differences), I boycotted it when I realised that they too, like their Singaporean counterparts, now charge for a glass of water! In the menu, they charged for tap water and they also charged for RO water! Please lah, the water in Singapore and Malaysia is potable - turning on the tap does not equate to a RM0.50sen charge. It's not the money, as KH loves to say, its the principle! So bye-bye Chocolate Banana cake!
We came home late on Saturday. On Sunday, Gillian took and passed her Gold survival swimming test. So no more swimming lessons for her! One down, four to go! She can now officially tread water while making a float out of clothes, swim 1 kim in under 3min and swim the side stroke, the back stroke, the front crawl. The family celebrated (we celebrate at the slightest excuse!) with dinner at Marutama Ramen which the kids enjoyed, and Hokkaido ice-cream after.
After suffering Malacca and KL withdrawal symptoms for most of the year, we finally made a trip up north over the ND holiday- our first this year!
While it felt good to be back, the trip came with a teeny bit of drama. At the Tuas checkpoint, we discovered that Isaac's passport only had 2 months left before expiry. The usual requirement for travel is a 6 month allowance of validity. But we were all packed, the car was loaded as usual with kids, luggage, sweets, comforters, pillows etc so turning back felt like such a boo-boo. Luckily Malaysian immigration didn't detect this and waved us through.
Then the next day we headed up to KL. Spent a day at the Times Square theme park which was nice and empty, so no queues for the rides. Ended the day at my sister's place checking out her three dogs - canine cousins to my kids. Magz, the Shih-Tzu she saved, no longer had the maggoty hole in the head - its healed very nicely. And he was so manja and sweet-natured, always toddling off after her, letting the kids stroke his head and body, no nipping/snapping etc. Wolfie, apparently the Alpha male in the house, was more aggressive and barked at the kids a couple of times. Have to hand it to the kids - no one wailed, screamed when Wolfie barked in their faces (and yes it was loud!). When he barked in her face, Trin just looked taken aback and coolly walked away and Owain just scrambled on the sofa when Wolfie got a bit loud. Poppet, dog number 1 that my sister adopted, looked forlorn most of the time. I felt a bit sorry for him - he was head honcho until Wolfie came along. According to Viv, Wolf is now numero uno in the doggie hierarchy at home, and having taken Magz under his wing, Magz is now number 2 and poor Pops has been relegated to the back of the ranks. Luckily he's still quite the ladies' man and very popular with all the girl-dogs he meets!
Had dinner in a small restaurant in a quiet residential estate - the food was good. Isaac was running a very high fever. No children's paracet so he had to chew down one adult tablet - very ugh. After that we drove back to Malacca.
Next day we had dinner with my SIL and BIL who happened to be in Malacca for a couple-only weekend, sans kids. After dinner at Bei Zhan restaurant (whose food was not so good that night and service a tad snotty), we all piled into our car - 5 kids + 4 adults! It was a short ride so I had Owain with me on my lap. Driving back to Jonker, we were pulled over by a policeman. When KH tried to get out of the car, the policeman waved him back in and said, no need to get out just wind down window. He asked to see KH's licence. Then he said KH and I were not wearing our seat belts and wanted to fine us RM200 each!! Well, we all knew what was coming. KH asked delicately, could we erm, settle this here instead of paying the fine at the border. Policeman said, ok, how do you want to settle it? KH said, I'll settle with RM50. Oh RM50! said the policeman, rolling his eyes, so little! The fine is RM400 total you know... But despite the theatrics, the guy finally said, okay lah. Money changed hands so quickly even I could not tell what happened. Sleight of hand. Next thing I knew he gave a parting grin and a wave and drove off on his bike. Malaysia boleh!!
Last time this happened to us was on the Kota Tinggi Road in Johor. At the height of the MM row when he mouthed off about JB being a hotbed of crime etc - that sparked off a pretty nasty diplomatic spat. So when we, and another Singaporean car, were pulled over, the policemen there did not bother entertaining any suggestion of 'settling it' - they hauled both cars off to the nearest police station where we had to pay a RM300 fine. This was long before Badawi and his crusade for cleanliness in the force. It was unusual because back then it was common knowledge that being pulled over was (1) normal for Singaporean vehicles to be targetted and (2) it was a sideline for easy kopi money. No doubt a long dormant sense of patriotism must have been awakened due to the spat and they were not taking any kopi money for this.
Now I'm not going to stand on my soapbox and give a moving speech about integrity and honesty etc. Yes, it was a form of bribery/corruption and was less than honest. But it was also something that, to me, makes part of the charm that makes Malaysia what it is. The revelation of a bit of an underbelly, an almost entrepreneural reading between the lines of the law. Yes in contrast Singapore is efficient, honest blah blah blah... but I think we lack that teensy defiant lick of unsavoury sleazy charm that makes a country that bit more interesting and 'human'. So Happy National Day! Maybe with the IRs coming up we can see more of the Danny Ocean emerging in the average Singaporean.
Meanwhile, Isaac and KH were both down with high fever. But fever or not, we still went swimming in the condo pool, hit the pasar malam at Jonker, had the ubiquitous chendol and mee siam at Donald & Lily's, shopped at Mahkota, the kids blew RM20 on arcade games and kiddie rides, found a new bootleg DVD place with honest pirates (they told us honestly which DVD movie was still 'bu qing' ie not clear yet and 'not master copy'!). And we drove home on Saturday satisfied for the time being. And incidentally, even though Secret Recipe in Malaysia is cheaper than Singapore by about 50% (thanks to the currency differences), I boycotted it when I realised that they too, like their Singaporean counterparts, now charge for a glass of water! In the menu, they charged for tap water and they also charged for RO water! Please lah, the water in Singapore and Malaysia is potable - turning on the tap does not equate to a RM0.50sen charge. It's not the money, as KH loves to say, its the principle! So bye-bye Chocolate Banana cake!
We came home late on Saturday. On Sunday, Gillian took and passed her Gold survival swimming test. So no more swimming lessons for her! One down, four to go! She can now officially tread water while making a float out of clothes, swim 1 kim in under 3min and swim the side stroke, the back stroke, the front crawl. The family celebrated (we celebrate at the slightest excuse!) with dinner at Marutama Ramen which the kids enjoyed, and Hokkaido ice-cream after.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Selling?
We have been inundated with fliers from real estate agents who dangle eye-popping prices of houses they have sold in our neighbourhood. Usually, the fliers end up in the trash.
But recently, we learnt that our immediate neighbour, Uncle Chan, has sold his house. For slightly over a million. His house is the same size as ours, also a corner terrace, but in original condition. Well-kept but original in its 40-year-old look. KH figures that our house can probably fetch a higher price considering that it has been 'renovated'.
Well, I don't want to sell. I'm not ready to think about selling now - especially now that the roof is no longer leaking!
I'm very happy with my little 'yellow' (now vanilla) house. Yeah, with 5 kids the space might be a little tight, but it is still cozy and comfortable. The kids too, enjoy the house. They love that they get a bit of a garden to run around in, they have made many firm friends among the neighbourhood kids. I like it also because Mum lives so nearby (we love popping in and out of each other's houses and sending/bringing food over). I also like the location very much - centrally located but quiet, Toa Payoh and Bishan just a couple of bus-stops away, 20min from the MRT, CTE/PIE around the corner. I've settled in here so well.
Just the thought of selling my little house makes me sad. Can't imagine if or when we actually sell and have to move! Think I'll howl...
But I also acknowledge that if the market keeps rising, then it makes good financial sense to sell at a good price, move to a HDB flat (which is affordable), stay liquid or invest the rest of the money wisely for 'retirement'. This is what we've always said we wanted to do when we got the house at such a good price 9 years ago. Back then I did make a mental note to not get too attached to the place because I knew this would happen someday. But the market stayed down for a long time and selling was not a good option. Along the way, the house became not just an investment cow waiting to be fattened and slaughtered, but a real home we loved.
I've brought three babies back to this house. Celebrated countless birthdays. Seen my babies toddle around the place. Some day, it would be nice to have wedding tea ceremonies here. The very thought of selling seems like a betrayal of this dear little house!
So when KH mentions the idea of selling these days, I say a quick 'no'. But I don't know how long we, or he, can wait. If the market keeps going up, it looks like it will be a 'sooner', rather than a 'never'.
We have been inundated with fliers from real estate agents who dangle eye-popping prices of houses they have sold in our neighbourhood. Usually, the fliers end up in the trash.
But recently, we learnt that our immediate neighbour, Uncle Chan, has sold his house. For slightly over a million. His house is the same size as ours, also a corner terrace, but in original condition. Well-kept but original in its 40-year-old look. KH figures that our house can probably fetch a higher price considering that it has been 'renovated'.
Well, I don't want to sell. I'm not ready to think about selling now - especially now that the roof is no longer leaking!
I'm very happy with my little 'yellow' (now vanilla) house. Yeah, with 5 kids the space might be a little tight, but it is still cozy and comfortable. The kids too, enjoy the house. They love that they get a bit of a garden to run around in, they have made many firm friends among the neighbourhood kids. I like it also because Mum lives so nearby (we love popping in and out of each other's houses and sending/bringing food over). I also like the location very much - centrally located but quiet, Toa Payoh and Bishan just a couple of bus-stops away, 20min from the MRT, CTE/PIE around the corner. I've settled in here so well.
Just the thought of selling my little house makes me sad. Can't imagine if or when we actually sell and have to move! Think I'll howl...
But I also acknowledge that if the market keeps rising, then it makes good financial sense to sell at a good price, move to a HDB flat (which is affordable), stay liquid or invest the rest of the money wisely for 'retirement'. This is what we've always said we wanted to do when we got the house at such a good price 9 years ago. Back then I did make a mental note to not get too attached to the place because I knew this would happen someday. But the market stayed down for a long time and selling was not a good option. Along the way, the house became not just an investment cow waiting to be fattened and slaughtered, but a real home we loved.
I've brought three babies back to this house. Celebrated countless birthdays. Seen my babies toddle around the place. Some day, it would be nice to have wedding tea ceremonies here. The very thought of selling seems like a betrayal of this dear little house!
So when KH mentions the idea of selling these days, I say a quick 'no'. But I don't know how long we, or he, can wait. If the market keeps going up, it looks like it will be a 'sooner', rather than a 'never'.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Beautiful weekend
It was one of those unexpectedly blissful weekends. Started on Friday evening when KH came home unexpectedly early at 5pm because 'Tua Pek Kong' was moving temple near his workplace - road closures were expected, so the company did the wise thing and let everyone off early.
With this 'bonus', we packed the kids in the car and drove to Sentosa. Had dinner outdoors at the Koufu food court. The food was not great, but we all had a good time. There's something to be said about eating in the balmy sea air, sand beneath your feet. The kids played on the big net, we crossed the suspension bridge to the 'southernmost point of continental asia' (roll eyes here!) and checked out the islands and the ships in the distance. It was dusk, so all the lights were on and in the half-light, they looked like twinkly Christmas lights far away. Back on shore, the kids and KH did their usual stunts like "Who can climb this coconut tree?" So one by one, they inched up - yes including big buffalo honcho daddy KH - and literally hugged the tree at one point before jumping off. And of course, KH dusted off the usual "when I was young and living in a kampong in Malaysia..." stories for the kids!
We closed the night with an ice-cream treat at our favourite ice-cream joint - Island Creamery. Yum! And I finally found and bought my bottle of Port - so now I can finetune/rehearse the foie gras recipe before actually trying it out. Isaac is already licking his lips in anticipation. Also discovered La Petite Cuisine at Serene Centre - the menu sounds interesting. Nothing fancy or experimental, just plain ol' good straightforward French cooking. Confit de Canard and Foie Gras, Escargot in pastry. I like! Made a mental note to come back here one of these nights.
On Saturday morning, we watched Evan Almighty at Lido. OK, not cinema art in its finest moments. But Steve Carell and Morgan Freeman are always worth watching. The kids loved it. Interesting line that came out of the movie: When you pray for patience, does God give you patience or the opportunities to seek patience? Ah, read the fine print!! heh. I found that to be SO true.
On the not-so-good side, I saw someone I know doing something I'd rather not have seen. Was hanging about the cinema lobby when KH hissed at me to come over. He nodded towards a man standing nearby. We both know him. It was my friend's husband. He had his arm around a woman - NOT my friend. They were kissing and looking very lovey-dovey. I know this guy too - our families have met, interacted and his wife is pretty close to me. I know things were not good between them. And I know they have amicably agreed to lead separate lives while remaining married. But seeing this really brings it home to me. I find it quite pathetic and sad. And I was angry for my friend. There was no attempt to be discreet. I think he saw me. And took pains to sit far away from me in the cinema. Ah well. I wish the old days (where I could go up and whack him on the head with a heavy handbag) were alive and well! I won't tell my friend. What's the point? She already knows what a jerk he is.
The rest of Saturday progressed well - kids went for classes, I went to the Loft to meet some mummy-friends. Dinner was with the ILs - and surprisingly, it was a pleasant gathering I quite enjoyed. As usual, everyone left me alone so I came with my books/notes to plan Operation Japan. But towards the end, we still had some interesting conversation so the night was not a total boring loss after all.
Sunday, Gillian spent two hours with Granddad. Ah it brought back memories. :-) My dad used to drill me in Maths just before the PSLE too. At that time, I was hopeless in Maths. I remember him chain-smoking and agitatedly stubbing out cigarette after cigarette. I was working in a haze of cigarette smoke (passive smoking at its worst!) . And Dad was going on in exasperation: You GORBLOCK!! You STILL don't understand??? How many times must I explain this to you!!
Haha, oh that sounds SO familiar! This time, my dad had lovingly bought stacks of those school test papers for Gillian to work on. Never mind that Gillian was in EM3 and NOT EM2 as those papers were. Never mind she had the attention span of a gnat. Never mind that her reasoning/logic skills were so way off that we're stuck at Pri 4 maths! I warned Dad but Dad just waved it all off airily. So I was in some trepidation, wondering if Dad would explode or Gillian would still be in one piece by the time 'tuition' ended. I wondered how many times Dad would call Gillian Gorblock.
Not even once.
I went up to the house when it was done (the coward KH bailed out and chose to wait downstairs), to find both in good spirits. Dad waving his cigarette around (some things never change), a magnifying glass on the table (Dad not getting any younger) and Gillian grinning away. She's poor in ratio, he said. Work on it with her. Next week, he continued, Uncle Paul will take over. I gaped and then laughed. Geez, so my brother is getting roped into the action too eh? My daughter is sitting for the PSLE and my WHOLE family scrambles into action. Later Gillian told me that Uncle Paul said if she passed, he would give her money (!!) and Mama said that if she passed, she would bring her on a cruise (!!) . Mental note - speak to Mum and Paul about NOT giving bribes like this! I'm just waiting to see what carrot my sister will dangle from KL!
So in good spirits, we go to the Zoo, check out the new Orang Utan boardwalk and new Sea Safari show. Ah Meng has a new home - spiffy new glass enclosure. But poor lady sure looks lonely there.
The night and the weekend ended with a push-pull visit through the crowded aisles of the NTUC hypermart in AMK. Ugh, never again on a weekend. And the hungry tribe chomped down black peppar crayfish and wine chicken for dinner. Sheer bliss. That was a lovely weekend.
It was one of those unexpectedly blissful weekends. Started on Friday evening when KH came home unexpectedly early at 5pm because 'Tua Pek Kong' was moving temple near his workplace - road closures were expected, so the company did the wise thing and let everyone off early.
With this 'bonus', we packed the kids in the car and drove to Sentosa. Had dinner outdoors at the Koufu food court. The food was not great, but we all had a good time. There's something to be said about eating in the balmy sea air, sand beneath your feet. The kids played on the big net, we crossed the suspension bridge to the 'southernmost point of continental asia' (roll eyes here!) and checked out the islands and the ships in the distance. It was dusk, so all the lights were on and in the half-light, they looked like twinkly Christmas lights far away. Back on shore, the kids and KH did their usual stunts like "Who can climb this coconut tree?" So one by one, they inched up - yes including big buffalo honcho daddy KH - and literally hugged the tree at one point before jumping off. And of course, KH dusted off the usual "when I was young and living in a kampong in Malaysia..." stories for the kids!
We closed the night with an ice-cream treat at our favourite ice-cream joint - Island Creamery. Yum! And I finally found and bought my bottle of Port - so now I can finetune/rehearse the foie gras recipe before actually trying it out. Isaac is already licking his lips in anticipation. Also discovered La Petite Cuisine at Serene Centre - the menu sounds interesting. Nothing fancy or experimental, just plain ol' good straightforward French cooking. Confit de Canard and Foie Gras, Escargot in pastry. I like! Made a mental note to come back here one of these nights.
On Saturday morning, we watched Evan Almighty at Lido. OK, not cinema art in its finest moments. But Steve Carell and Morgan Freeman are always worth watching. The kids loved it. Interesting line that came out of the movie: When you pray for patience, does God give you patience or the opportunities to seek patience? Ah, read the fine print!! heh. I found that to be SO true.
On the not-so-good side, I saw someone I know doing something I'd rather not have seen. Was hanging about the cinema lobby when KH hissed at me to come over. He nodded towards a man standing nearby. We both know him. It was my friend's husband. He had his arm around a woman - NOT my friend. They were kissing and looking very lovey-dovey. I know this guy too - our families have met, interacted and his wife is pretty close to me. I know things were not good between them. And I know they have amicably agreed to lead separate lives while remaining married. But seeing this really brings it home to me. I find it quite pathetic and sad. And I was angry for my friend. There was no attempt to be discreet. I think he saw me. And took pains to sit far away from me in the cinema. Ah well. I wish the old days (where I could go up and whack him on the head with a heavy handbag) were alive and well! I won't tell my friend. What's the point? She already knows what a jerk he is.
The rest of Saturday progressed well - kids went for classes, I went to the Loft to meet some mummy-friends. Dinner was with the ILs - and surprisingly, it was a pleasant gathering I quite enjoyed. As usual, everyone left me alone so I came with my books/notes to plan Operation Japan. But towards the end, we still had some interesting conversation so the night was not a total boring loss after all.
Sunday, Gillian spent two hours with Granddad. Ah it brought back memories. :-) My dad used to drill me in Maths just before the PSLE too. At that time, I was hopeless in Maths. I remember him chain-smoking and agitatedly stubbing out cigarette after cigarette. I was working in a haze of cigarette smoke (passive smoking at its worst!) . And Dad was going on in exasperation: You GORBLOCK!! You STILL don't understand??? How many times must I explain this to you!!
Haha, oh that sounds SO familiar! This time, my dad had lovingly bought stacks of those school test papers for Gillian to work on. Never mind that Gillian was in EM3 and NOT EM2 as those papers were. Never mind she had the attention span of a gnat. Never mind that her reasoning/logic skills were so way off that we're stuck at Pri 4 maths! I warned Dad but Dad just waved it all off airily. So I was in some trepidation, wondering if Dad would explode or Gillian would still be in one piece by the time 'tuition' ended. I wondered how many times Dad would call Gillian Gorblock.
Not even once.
I went up to the house when it was done (the coward KH bailed out and chose to wait downstairs), to find both in good spirits. Dad waving his cigarette around (some things never change), a magnifying glass on the table (Dad not getting any younger) and Gillian grinning away. She's poor in ratio, he said. Work on it with her. Next week, he continued, Uncle Paul will take over. I gaped and then laughed. Geez, so my brother is getting roped into the action too eh? My daughter is sitting for the PSLE and my WHOLE family scrambles into action. Later Gillian told me that Uncle Paul said if she passed, he would give her money (!!) and Mama said that if she passed, she would bring her on a cruise (!!) . Mental note - speak to Mum and Paul about NOT giving bribes like this! I'm just waiting to see what carrot my sister will dangle from KL!
So in good spirits, we go to the Zoo, check out the new Orang Utan boardwalk and new Sea Safari show. Ah Meng has a new home - spiffy new glass enclosure. But poor lady sure looks lonely there.
The night and the weekend ended with a push-pull visit through the crowded aisles of the NTUC hypermart in AMK. Ugh, never again on a weekend. And the hungry tribe chomped down black peppar crayfish and wine chicken for dinner. Sheer bliss. That was a lovely weekend.
Operation Japan - no turning back now!
All done! I bought all the air tickets already and made all my SQ frequent flier redemptions. So Gillian and Trin will come with me and KH will take the rest. All our flight arrangements come with some penalty or the other if we cancel or change dates etc. So there will be no turning back now. KH and I have already booked our leave for the week.
I'm so excited I could just burst!!
Still thinking of whether to go to Kyoto or not. But I'll have to make up my mind fast because I will need to start making room reservations very, very soon.
Pros of going to Kyoto:
Autumn colours - the autumn foliage is better at Kyoto than Tokyo
Lovely gardens + serene temples
Less frenzied than Tokyo
A trip on the Romantic Sagano railway at Arashiyama
Visit the whale shark at the Osaka Aquarium
Riding on the shinkansen
The kids get to see an alternative side to Japan. If Tokyo is the capital of pop culture and Japanese kitsch, then Kyoto is the cultured, more contemplative end.
A glimpse into old Japan - unlike Tokyo which was bombed to bits during WW2, Kyoto was spared heavy bombing. So a lot of old neighbourhoods with atmospheric narrow lanes, wooden houses etc are still present today.
Cons of going to Kyoto:
More costly. We will either have to buy a JR Pass (28,300Y per adult and half price for children. Gillian is counted as an adult) or purchase a JTB Free and Easy plan which includes return shinkansen tickets and accomodation for a night (extensions are possible). The JTB plan will cost about (26,000Y if we stay an extra night, per adult)
Also, with a large brood I think it can be exhausting (for us!) to move about too much. Might be saner to stay put in ONE hotel/hostel for the duration of the trip instead of hopping around.
While the kids will enjoy the Sagano ride, and the whale shark, or even the ninja architecture of Nijo castle, I think bamboo groves, moss gardens, Zen gardens and autumn foliage will leave them bored? I can always argue that I've given them 2 days in Disney already so they better just 'kuai-kuai' follow me around Kyoto without complaining too much! I think Gillian, who is fascinated by the geishas in the very corny "Memoirs of A Geisha" movie (think the book is miles better!) might just be on my side of the camp, especially if I tell her that walking down Pontocho at dusk might reveal a maiko or two!
Or maybe we should just 'do' Tokyo this time and skip Kyoto - I could always come back alone sans kids and husband next time. Somehow I always get the feeling that there is a sense of solitaryness about Tokyo/Kyoto. In Tokyo, there always seems to be a rush of people, a lot of energy and purpose. But yet I just seem to sense, perhaps gut feel, that the place is made for lonely people. People who can dive into the big oceans of humanity there and just disappear. Lost in anonymity. Maybe it comes from reading about those lone Japanese who die at their desks without anyone noticing. Maybe all big cities are really lonely places - a contradiction in terms, but there's no better place to quietly fade into the wall-paper than a big city. And Tokyo, with 28million people, is a mega-city. As for Kyoto - ah, made for contemplative walks, solitude and reflection. Perfect for a solo travellers and lonely people I think. Everything that I've read about the places and the people so far leave me with the impression that can be lonely and yet, happy in one's loneliness in a place like Japan.
But of course, going with a noisy tribe of 1 unimpressed and bored KH and 5 kids - I don't think I will be in the right spirit to contemplate or explore any forms of these impressions I am getting. An exploration of loneliness will have to wait.
All done! I bought all the air tickets already and made all my SQ frequent flier redemptions. So Gillian and Trin will come with me and KH will take the rest. All our flight arrangements come with some penalty or the other if we cancel or change dates etc. So there will be no turning back now. KH and I have already booked our leave for the week.
I'm so excited I could just burst!!
Still thinking of whether to go to Kyoto or not. But I'll have to make up my mind fast because I will need to start making room reservations very, very soon.
Pros of going to Kyoto:
Autumn colours - the autumn foliage is better at Kyoto than Tokyo
Lovely gardens + serene temples
Less frenzied than Tokyo
A trip on the Romantic Sagano railway at Arashiyama
Visit the whale shark at the Osaka Aquarium
Riding on the shinkansen
The kids get to see an alternative side to Japan. If Tokyo is the capital of pop culture and Japanese kitsch, then Kyoto is the cultured, more contemplative end.
A glimpse into old Japan - unlike Tokyo which was bombed to bits during WW2, Kyoto was spared heavy bombing. So a lot of old neighbourhoods with atmospheric narrow lanes, wooden houses etc are still present today.
Cons of going to Kyoto:
More costly. We will either have to buy a JR Pass (28,300Y per adult and half price for children. Gillian is counted as an adult) or purchase a JTB Free and Easy plan which includes return shinkansen tickets and accomodation for a night (extensions are possible). The JTB plan will cost about (26,000Y if we stay an extra night, per adult)
Also, with a large brood I think it can be exhausting (for us!) to move about too much. Might be saner to stay put in ONE hotel/hostel for the duration of the trip instead of hopping around.
While the kids will enjoy the Sagano ride, and the whale shark, or even the ninja architecture of Nijo castle, I think bamboo groves, moss gardens, Zen gardens and autumn foliage will leave them bored? I can always argue that I've given them 2 days in Disney already so they better just 'kuai-kuai' follow me around Kyoto without complaining too much! I think Gillian, who is fascinated by the geishas in the very corny "Memoirs of A Geisha" movie (think the book is miles better!) might just be on my side of the camp, especially if I tell her that walking down Pontocho at dusk might reveal a maiko or two!
Or maybe we should just 'do' Tokyo this time and skip Kyoto - I could always come back alone sans kids and husband next time. Somehow I always get the feeling that there is a sense of solitaryness about Tokyo/Kyoto. In Tokyo, there always seems to be a rush of people, a lot of energy and purpose. But yet I just seem to sense, perhaps gut feel, that the place is made for lonely people. People who can dive into the big oceans of humanity there and just disappear. Lost in anonymity. Maybe it comes from reading about those lone Japanese who die at their desks without anyone noticing. Maybe all big cities are really lonely places - a contradiction in terms, but there's no better place to quietly fade into the wall-paper than a big city. And Tokyo, with 28million people, is a mega-city. As for Kyoto - ah, made for contemplative walks, solitude and reflection. Perfect for a solo travellers and lonely people I think. Everything that I've read about the places and the people so far leave me with the impression that can be lonely and yet, happy in one's loneliness in a place like Japan.
But of course, going with a noisy tribe of 1 unimpressed and bored KH and 5 kids - I don't think I will be in the right spirit to contemplate or explore any forms of these impressions I am getting. An exploration of loneliness will have to wait.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Weaning off night feeds
Last night marked the second night in a row that Trin did not nurse at night. She nursed to sleep but did not nurse in the night. When she stirred, I just cuddled her close and said 'mummy's here. No nen-nen okay?' and she would just continue sleeping. No protests.
Could be that I did the unthinkable three nights ago. I let her cry it out for 10 - 15min. Coming from me, always so adamantly against any form of CIO. Irony huh?
The eczema was flaring up again badly. My left nipple had three open fissures and everytime she nursed, it was plain agony. It didn't help that her latch was poor and shallow. Plus she had the habit of kicking off and pulling the nipple along. Also didn't help that she was clingier than usual over the past 2 weeks thanks to a combination of normal runny nose flu and gastric flu (all the kids came down with that - Owain threw up 5 times in a 24hr period, twice between 3am to 5am + an asthma attack which saw us heading to KKH Children's Emergency. Isaac was diarrhea-ing too etc. Trin did not come off too badly but had watery explosive poos once or twice.) So as a result of all that, she was nursing even more than ever. Thanks to the constant, non-stop nursing, I actually saw her stools revert back to newborn patterns - soft, mustardy yellow with rice-like bits.
Things came to a head that night when I had it. I was in constant pain from her nursing, plus the eczema never seemed to get any better at all. So we were in all in bed when I snapped. No more nen-nen. I unlatched her and turned away. She howled and screamed. KH tried to carry her, comfort her - no use. She only wanted me and nen-nen. Finally, I took her but told her sternly: Mummy's nen-nen hurts a lot. No nen-nen tonight. Let's sleep now! Poor girl took one look at me and meekly went to sleep, hiccuping away.
So since then, she has not nursed at night. She nurses like a champ in the day of course - every spare minute she can get. Whenever I'm at the PC, she's on me - nursing away. She'll stop to take a break - playing with the phone, the keyboard, mouse etc, but after 10min (15min if I'm lucky!) she'll be back at work on the breast.
She's 21 months and if this is end of night feeds, I feel a bit bad that it has to happen this way. But at the same time, I'm glad that my breasts can at least have a 'night break' and have some time to recover (well, the left one at least). I am happy though that it does not spell the end of nursing for us - just nursing at night. After all, I don't want Trin to wean off totally and permanently. Perhaps her day-time marathon sessions with me are to make up for the loss of night nursing. And with Owain still nursing thru day AND night, I think we'll probably still have some form of a nursing relationship going on for some time more.
As I write, the fissures on the left nipple (Trin's side) seem to healing. But it's now Owain's side to act up - after a day or so of 'good behavior', it's now itching with a vengeance, flaking away and weepy on the areola. Sigh. Never ending story.
Last night marked the second night in a row that Trin did not nurse at night. She nursed to sleep but did not nurse in the night. When she stirred, I just cuddled her close and said 'mummy's here. No nen-nen okay?' and she would just continue sleeping. No protests.
Could be that I did the unthinkable three nights ago. I let her cry it out for 10 - 15min. Coming from me, always so adamantly against any form of CIO. Irony huh?
The eczema was flaring up again badly. My left nipple had three open fissures and everytime she nursed, it was plain agony. It didn't help that her latch was poor and shallow. Plus she had the habit of kicking off and pulling the nipple along. Also didn't help that she was clingier than usual over the past 2 weeks thanks to a combination of normal runny nose flu and gastric flu (all the kids came down with that - Owain threw up 5 times in a 24hr period, twice between 3am to 5am + an asthma attack which saw us heading to KKH Children's Emergency. Isaac was diarrhea-ing too etc. Trin did not come off too badly but had watery explosive poos once or twice.) So as a result of all that, she was nursing even more than ever. Thanks to the constant, non-stop nursing, I actually saw her stools revert back to newborn patterns - soft, mustardy yellow with rice-like bits.
Things came to a head that night when I had it. I was in constant pain from her nursing, plus the eczema never seemed to get any better at all. So we were in all in bed when I snapped. No more nen-nen. I unlatched her and turned away. She howled and screamed. KH tried to carry her, comfort her - no use. She only wanted me and nen-nen. Finally, I took her but told her sternly: Mummy's nen-nen hurts a lot. No nen-nen tonight. Let's sleep now! Poor girl took one look at me and meekly went to sleep, hiccuping away.
So since then, she has not nursed at night. She nurses like a champ in the day of course - every spare minute she can get. Whenever I'm at the PC, she's on me - nursing away. She'll stop to take a break - playing with the phone, the keyboard, mouse etc, but after 10min (15min if I'm lucky!) she'll be back at work on the breast.
She's 21 months and if this is end of night feeds, I feel a bit bad that it has to happen this way. But at the same time, I'm glad that my breasts can at least have a 'night break' and have some time to recover (well, the left one at least). I am happy though that it does not spell the end of nursing for us - just nursing at night. After all, I don't want Trin to wean off totally and permanently. Perhaps her day-time marathon sessions with me are to make up for the loss of night nursing. And with Owain still nursing thru day AND night, I think we'll probably still have some form of a nursing relationship going on for some time more.
As I write, the fissures on the left nipple (Trin's side) seem to healing. But it's now Owain's side to act up - after a day or so of 'good behavior', it's now itching with a vengeance, flaking away and weepy on the areola. Sigh. Never ending story.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Visiting Dr Dentist
It was Owain's and Caitlin's maiden visit to the good dentist. Prior to the visit, I did nothing to prime them, to prepare them. Just told them that I was making an appointment to go. The kids were agreeable, excited and looking forward to it. Weird kids I have.
So today, we visited Dr Ben Lim of Hosanna Dental. Lovely man. He said I have lovely kids. Well, thank you doctor. You're a lovely guy yourself. :-) But seriously, we've always taken our kids to see him and he's always been very friendly and very funny, not alarmist (my kinda doctor) and not trigger-happy. And he's not expensive either.
His fluorescent-lit clinic is a no-frills set-up right in the heart of Toa Payoh, his chair is faded and a bit worn round the edges, there is no fancy plasma tv on the ceiling playing Disney cartoons or Winx Club, no one blows bubbles to distract children, there are no toys etc. He's not your posh pediatric dentist. The only concession to any 'decor' is a wall lined with children's drawings - his patients. But the man, who has three boys of his own, has heart and knows how to work children the right way. He jokes, puts on accents, teases and that's how he gets the job done. In between his teasing running commentary, he would interject a line like: okay, mummy look over here and see.... This is a bit of decay here...
So what was the damage 'literally'? Well, Owain has the start of decay on his two front teeth, which are set so close together, it was a no-brainer for food bits to get lodged and for decay to set in. Dr Lim mentioned Sam's son Timmy as a similar case. I remember Timmy's case, and Dr Lim and I discussed whether we should put in fillings. We decided not to because first, it would need drilling and I really want to keep the first visit trauma-free/pain-free, and secondly, the filling would be dislodged pretty easily within a couple of months. So no point. He just polished Owain's teeth, and told me to floss the two front upper teeth once every two days or so. If the decay got worse and chipped off, and a sharp edge was left, he would just file it down.
Caitlin had two cavities and Dr Lim filled those up nicely and quickly. Looking at them, you can't even tell that they are fillings. She also had her teeth polished.
The session ended with each kid getting a balloon for being so co-operative. Yes, the good doctor has learnt a few new tricks since the last time we met - he is now able to deftly blow (dental equipment sure comes in handy here - they ought to teach this in dentistry school!) and twist balloons - so Cait got a lovely pink heart on a stand and Owain had a yellow sabre.
Dr Lim said the kids were great. I agree. They were very co-operative, no wailing, no screaming or struggling etc. He said I 'trained' them well. Yes, I told him, my whip and the ball and chains do come in handy.
I asked the kids what they thought about the visit to the dentist and both said it was fun and they wanted to go again!! Lovely kids - but weird... :-)
It was Owain's and Caitlin's maiden visit to the good dentist. Prior to the visit, I did nothing to prime them, to prepare them. Just told them that I was making an appointment to go. The kids were agreeable, excited and looking forward to it. Weird kids I have.
So today, we visited Dr Ben Lim of Hosanna Dental. Lovely man. He said I have lovely kids. Well, thank you doctor. You're a lovely guy yourself. :-) But seriously, we've always taken our kids to see him and he's always been very friendly and very funny, not alarmist (my kinda doctor) and not trigger-happy. And he's not expensive either.
His fluorescent-lit clinic is a no-frills set-up right in the heart of Toa Payoh, his chair is faded and a bit worn round the edges, there is no fancy plasma tv on the ceiling playing Disney cartoons or Winx Club, no one blows bubbles to distract children, there are no toys etc. He's not your posh pediatric dentist. The only concession to any 'decor' is a wall lined with children's drawings - his patients. But the man, who has three boys of his own, has heart and knows how to work children the right way. He jokes, puts on accents, teases and that's how he gets the job done. In between his teasing running commentary, he would interject a line like: okay, mummy look over here and see.... This is a bit of decay here...
So what was the damage 'literally'? Well, Owain has the start of decay on his two front teeth, which are set so close together, it was a no-brainer for food bits to get lodged and for decay to set in. Dr Lim mentioned Sam's son Timmy as a similar case. I remember Timmy's case, and Dr Lim and I discussed whether we should put in fillings. We decided not to because first, it would need drilling and I really want to keep the first visit trauma-free/pain-free, and secondly, the filling would be dislodged pretty easily within a couple of months. So no point. He just polished Owain's teeth, and told me to floss the two front upper teeth once every two days or so. If the decay got worse and chipped off, and a sharp edge was left, he would just file it down.
Caitlin had two cavities and Dr Lim filled those up nicely and quickly. Looking at them, you can't even tell that they are fillings. She also had her teeth polished.
The session ended with each kid getting a balloon for being so co-operative. Yes, the good doctor has learnt a few new tricks since the last time we met - he is now able to deftly blow (dental equipment sure comes in handy here - they ought to teach this in dentistry school!) and twist balloons - so Cait got a lovely pink heart on a stand and Owain had a yellow sabre.
Dr Lim said the kids were great. I agree. They were very co-operative, no wailing, no screaming or struggling etc. He said I 'trained' them well. Yes, I told him, my whip and the ball and chains do come in handy.
I asked the kids what they thought about the visit to the dentist and both said it was fun and they wanted to go again!! Lovely kids - but weird... :-)
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
I've wanted to post on this for the longest time. But got sidetracked by Granny.
We watched Order of the Phoenix a week before Hallows came out. So there were lots of Stunning spells flying around the house as Owain kept going: Stupefy! Stupefy kor-kor!! And the kids squabbled amiably about who could be who in Harry Potter. "I want to be Ginny!" said Cait. Gillian bossily dished out the roles: Isaac could be Voldemort (!) and Owain would be Harry Potter (thanks to the scar right in the middle of his forehead!) , Gillian would be Luna and mummy be Hermione, Dad can be Ron!!
But no event was more anticipated that the arrival of Hallows on Sat 21 July. To be honest, I did not pre-order, sniffing at the hype that was churned up. But sniff or not, I too was swept away by Potter mania and surreptitiously bought a copy at MPH at 12nn on the same day. KH had refused to drive me to the nearest NTUC at 7am and was frowning at my interest in the book. Why so? Because my loving sister had pre-ordered a copy for Isaac and was going to courier it down from KL as a surprise. And until then, no one, ordered KH, should be fingering any copy of Hallows or it would spoil the surprise.
But I couldn't wait. So I bought a copy, ignored KH's frowns, gleefully waved it over Isaac's head while banning him from touching my book (my previous copies of HP are all tattered, torn and literally read to bits thanks to Isaac's manhandling! Think limp kiam-chye, dog-earred pages, coverless books, drenched by rain, dried by sun etc) and settled down to read from 3pm the same day. The kids had gone to their cousins for the night, so I could read without Isaac badgering me. Except an hour's break for Granny, and for a steamboat dinner, I steamed through the book until I finished it at 1am.
Here's my take on it. If you haven't read it, don't want to be 'spoiled', stop right here.
On the plus side, I like the rollicking adventure, as always. Rowling's simple language, as usual, is easy to access and very friendly and appealing to young readers and to adults. The magical world remains as fascinating as it has been, particularly with the inclusion of new elements such as the Hallows. The action sequences were rippingly good and took place at breakneck speed, leaving one gripping the book and really being quite unable to put it down until the sequence was over. In particular, in the early pages, Harry's evacuation from Privet Drive.
The death of familiar characters like Moody, Hedwig, Dobby etc did not make me tear up. These are ultimately still secondary characters. Had it been someone in Harry's inner circle eg Ron or Hermione, or even Mrs Weasley, that might have been different. And by the time the book ended with the deaths of Tonks, Lupin and Fred, one really feels quite immune. The sense of loss/grief did not quite reach me from the book and I got a sense that perhaps Rowling herself was a bit impassive about these characters.
While the plot was kept moving quite well, the entry of the Hallows into the picture might have muddied the waters a bit - perhaps I was expecting a straightforward search of the horcruxes and maybe an out-and-out race between Voldemort and Harry to reach the horcruxes before the other did. The introduction of the Hallows fleshed out the wizarding world a bit more but made it a bit disjointed.
I have mixed feelings about the emphasis on Dumbledore's past. On one hand, I've always been curious about Dumbledore - what was his life like, how he ticked etc. So I'm glad Rowling gave us a glimpse into it. But again, I got a sense that the emotional holes were not nicely filled in. Yes, we know how he felt, but we didn't quite 'feel' him - and I'm not sure quite how to put my finger on it. And then there's Snape, the anti-hero. It was a bit disappointing that Snape did not feature much in the book at all, even though by the end, it was clear that he played a pivotal role. He remains inscrutable as a character. Again, as with Dumbledore, I felt that Rowling did not flesh Snape out as well as she could. Somehow, there is a lack of emotional connection there.
The contrast between Snape, Dumbledore and Harry was nicely elegant. Dumbledore, whom Harry had worshipped, had feet of clay and was not perfect after all. Snape, whom Harry hated with a passion, was a far stronger and braver character than Harry had ever known. Through all 7 books, Harry had judged based on incomplete information and on appearances. At times he had been pretty virulent in his rants against Snape. Yet now, when it was clear that Snape had made sacrifices galore, and who loved with such lasting passion, I found it disappointing that Harry had not expressed more remorse or grief at having misread him. Apart from naming his son after Snape lah! So if I had to have a favourite character for the whole series, I think it would be a tie between Dumbledore and Snape. I'm not very impressed with Harry and find him a bit whiny, shallow and rather a poor judge of character!
With Dumbledore's past revealed, the message was clear: everyone makes mistakes - even the great Dumbledore, but what was more important was to learn from them. And clearly, Dumbledore did, never again seeking a position of prestige and power as he realised his weaknesses and temptations.
Finally, the climax was an anti-climax! Yes, speculation is right - Harry died. But rose again! I found that incredible, not realistic and a real cop-out. Perhaps Rowling had to cater to her young fans who would have been very upset had Harry really conked. But I think this under-estimates the intelligence and sensitivity of many other readers and closes the door to what could have been an interesting discussion on courage and strength as Harry did what would have been incredibly hard for anyone to do.
And here's the tick too - I thought the Elder wand would not work against its true master. Why then did Voldemort's Avadra Kedavra kill Harry the first time round? I think this is a plot hole that Rowling did not spot. If it isn't and if anyone knows the answer though, pls share.
And what's with the 19-years-later epilogue? That was really juvenile. Yeah, we all know Harry would have lived happily-ever-after with Ginny, Ron with Hermione etc but the details of their offspring were unnecessary and a bit boring. The epilogue threw up more questions than answers. Like: what happened to Hagrid? Or Luna? Or Kreacher - is Harry still having Kreacher as a house elf? Who's the new principal of Hogwarts? The ending felt unsettling and ended the book on a very uneven note. I thought a better way to end it, if she really wanted an epilogue, was to list: HP - what happened. Hagrid - what happened etc. Succinct but infinitely more satisfying that the rambling that 19-years-later was. But perhaps this is intentional? Wanting to contrast a fresh start with Harry's own experience so many years ago - to end where it all started - on platform 9 and 3/4? Nice touch if so, but not good enough.
Leaving an opening for a fresh series using new characters where the last book left off - HP the Next Generation??
Overall, I felt that Rowling was in a hurry to finish. Maybe it was already the last book, so let's get it over with? Looking at the series as a whole, I felt that the first three books were the best. They were charming, the boarding-school scenario reminiscent of Enid Blyton, the wizarding world fresh and unique. But as the Harry hype went into big time, the movie deals were made, the books started getting larger and more unwieldy and as the cast of characters became larger, it was harder to lend each one enough emotional resonance, harder to build and shape each person definitively. Much like the movie - which had so many great British actors (and nooo Radcliffe is not one of them!), but sadly all of whom roughly got about 5 minutes of screen time! While Rowling does spin a serviceable tale, her pen lacks the emotional gravitas to lend each character enough credence. Which is why, when Moody died, it was a case of: so? We are not told enough of him to feel for him. And the same for many other characters in HP.
Which is why this series can never match up to Narnia or LOTR. The series may have sold millions, but I'm not sure if it will last beyond the hype. We'll have to wait until 2010 when the last HP movie comes out to see. More than anything else, I think the HP franchise has been a fascinating lesson in marketing!
I've wanted to post on this for the longest time. But got sidetracked by Granny.
We watched Order of the Phoenix a week before Hallows came out. So there were lots of Stunning spells flying around the house as Owain kept going: Stupefy! Stupefy kor-kor!! And the kids squabbled amiably about who could be who in Harry Potter. "I want to be Ginny!" said Cait. Gillian bossily dished out the roles: Isaac could be Voldemort (!) and Owain would be Harry Potter (thanks to the scar right in the middle of his forehead!) , Gillian would be Luna and mummy be Hermione, Dad can be Ron!!
But no event was more anticipated that the arrival of Hallows on Sat 21 July. To be honest, I did not pre-order, sniffing at the hype that was churned up. But sniff or not, I too was swept away by Potter mania and surreptitiously bought a copy at MPH at 12nn on the same day. KH had refused to drive me to the nearest NTUC at 7am and was frowning at my interest in the book. Why so? Because my loving sister had pre-ordered a copy for Isaac and was going to courier it down from KL as a surprise. And until then, no one, ordered KH, should be fingering any copy of Hallows or it would spoil the surprise.
But I couldn't wait. So I bought a copy, ignored KH's frowns, gleefully waved it over Isaac's head while banning him from touching my book (my previous copies of HP are all tattered, torn and literally read to bits thanks to Isaac's manhandling! Think limp kiam-chye, dog-earred pages, coverless books, drenched by rain, dried by sun etc) and settled down to read from 3pm the same day. The kids had gone to their cousins for the night, so I could read without Isaac badgering me. Except an hour's break for Granny, and for a steamboat dinner, I steamed through the book until I finished it at 1am.
Here's my take on it. If you haven't read it, don't want to be 'spoiled', stop right here.
On the plus side, I like the rollicking adventure, as always. Rowling's simple language, as usual, is easy to access and very friendly and appealing to young readers and to adults. The magical world remains as fascinating as it has been, particularly with the inclusion of new elements such as the Hallows. The action sequences were rippingly good and took place at breakneck speed, leaving one gripping the book and really being quite unable to put it down until the sequence was over. In particular, in the early pages, Harry's evacuation from Privet Drive.
The death of familiar characters like Moody, Hedwig, Dobby etc did not make me tear up. These are ultimately still secondary characters. Had it been someone in Harry's inner circle eg Ron or Hermione, or even Mrs Weasley, that might have been different. And by the time the book ended with the deaths of Tonks, Lupin and Fred, one really feels quite immune. The sense of loss/grief did not quite reach me from the book and I got a sense that perhaps Rowling herself was a bit impassive about these characters.
While the plot was kept moving quite well, the entry of the Hallows into the picture might have muddied the waters a bit - perhaps I was expecting a straightforward search of the horcruxes and maybe an out-and-out race between Voldemort and Harry to reach the horcruxes before the other did. The introduction of the Hallows fleshed out the wizarding world a bit more but made it a bit disjointed.
I have mixed feelings about the emphasis on Dumbledore's past. On one hand, I've always been curious about Dumbledore - what was his life like, how he ticked etc. So I'm glad Rowling gave us a glimpse into it. But again, I got a sense that the emotional holes were not nicely filled in. Yes, we know how he felt, but we didn't quite 'feel' him - and I'm not sure quite how to put my finger on it. And then there's Snape, the anti-hero. It was a bit disappointing that Snape did not feature much in the book at all, even though by the end, it was clear that he played a pivotal role. He remains inscrutable as a character. Again, as with Dumbledore, I felt that Rowling did not flesh Snape out as well as she could. Somehow, there is a lack of emotional connection there.
The contrast between Snape, Dumbledore and Harry was nicely elegant. Dumbledore, whom Harry had worshipped, had feet of clay and was not perfect after all. Snape, whom Harry hated with a passion, was a far stronger and braver character than Harry had ever known. Through all 7 books, Harry had judged based on incomplete information and on appearances. At times he had been pretty virulent in his rants against Snape. Yet now, when it was clear that Snape had made sacrifices galore, and who loved with such lasting passion, I found it disappointing that Harry had not expressed more remorse or grief at having misread him. Apart from naming his son after Snape lah! So if I had to have a favourite character for the whole series, I think it would be a tie between Dumbledore and Snape. I'm not very impressed with Harry and find him a bit whiny, shallow and rather a poor judge of character!
With Dumbledore's past revealed, the message was clear: everyone makes mistakes - even the great Dumbledore, but what was more important was to learn from them. And clearly, Dumbledore did, never again seeking a position of prestige and power as he realised his weaknesses and temptations.
Finally, the climax was an anti-climax! Yes, speculation is right - Harry died. But rose again! I found that incredible, not realistic and a real cop-out. Perhaps Rowling had to cater to her young fans who would have been very upset had Harry really conked. But I think this under-estimates the intelligence and sensitivity of many other readers and closes the door to what could have been an interesting discussion on courage and strength as Harry did what would have been incredibly hard for anyone to do.
And here's the tick too - I thought the Elder wand would not work against its true master. Why then did Voldemort's Avadra Kedavra kill Harry the first time round? I think this is a plot hole that Rowling did not spot. If it isn't and if anyone knows the answer though, pls share.
And what's with the 19-years-later epilogue? That was really juvenile. Yeah, we all know Harry would have lived happily-ever-after with Ginny, Ron with Hermione etc but the details of their offspring were unnecessary and a bit boring. The epilogue threw up more questions than answers. Like: what happened to Hagrid? Or Luna? Or Kreacher - is Harry still having Kreacher as a house elf? Who's the new principal of Hogwarts? The ending felt unsettling and ended the book on a very uneven note. I thought a better way to end it, if she really wanted an epilogue, was to list: HP - what happened. Hagrid - what happened etc. Succinct but infinitely more satisfying that the rambling that 19-years-later was. But perhaps this is intentional? Wanting to contrast a fresh start with Harry's own experience so many years ago - to end where it all started - on platform 9 and 3/4? Nice touch if so, but not good enough.
Leaving an opening for a fresh series using new characters where the last book left off - HP the Next Generation??
Overall, I felt that Rowling was in a hurry to finish. Maybe it was already the last book, so let's get it over with? Looking at the series as a whole, I felt that the first three books were the best. They were charming, the boarding-school scenario reminiscent of Enid Blyton, the wizarding world fresh and unique. But as the Harry hype went into big time, the movie deals were made, the books started getting larger and more unwieldy and as the cast of characters became larger, it was harder to lend each one enough emotional resonance, harder to build and shape each person definitively. Much like the movie - which had so many great British actors (and nooo Radcliffe is not one of them!), but sadly all of whom roughly got about 5 minutes of screen time! While Rowling does spin a serviceable tale, her pen lacks the emotional gravitas to lend each character enough credence. Which is why, when Moody died, it was a case of: so? We are not told enough of him to feel for him. And the same for many other characters in HP.
Which is why this series can never match up to Narnia or LOTR. The series may have sold millions, but I'm not sure if it will last beyond the hype. We'll have to wait until 2010 when the last HP movie comes out to see. More than anything else, I think the HP franchise has been a fascinating lesson in marketing!
Granny Adventures
"Mummy, you have to see it in your head... Can you see it happening?"
That is a one-line lesson on visualisation. Similar to what I tell expectant mothers - visualise their birth, their labour etc. But this time, the lesson was for me. From my fishball boy Owain no less. He intoned it very solemnly too.
The scenario? The Granny Game.
I am, I have to confess, hooked on the granny game. This is the computer game called Granny in Paradise. Little old lady granny goes in search of cats, evading spear-carrying Tiki men, gorillas in tuxedoes, dogs and robots. We had bought the game for Isaac and downloaded it onto the PC. One day I sat down to try it out and that's it - hooked. So Isaac and I have been alternately competing with each other to see who has the highest scores and alternately helping each other by offering advice on how to get through each level. There are more than 100 levels - we've both since passed this already. So the granny itchy me went off to buy Super Granny 3 with more than 200 levels! So Isaac and I are now ploughing through that.
KH is amused/exasperated by us. The younger kids - Owain and Caitlin - are our audience. (Hence the earlier words of wisdom from him after one particularly frustrating round when Granny kept dying and dying and I was going aaarrgghhh!!)
And Trin? Just loves to nurse when I'm banging the arrow keys during the games. So sometimes when granny 'dies' I go: "Aiyah, see lah! Trin, you shouldn't have moved - I couldn't dig a hole fast enough!" Bad mummy to blame the baby, eh!
KH says that I get very anal when I watch Isaac play, offering advice all the time, that I should just leave him alone. Anal?? You haven't seen HIM offering 'advice' when I play! He says, in his usual rapid-fire way, stuff like:
"Mum!! For goodness sake, why are you always, forever, doing the wrong thing???"
"Dig a hole. You have to kill them here. Dig a hole. DIG A HOLE!! Now mum, dig!! DIG!!! Aargh! I told you to dig a hole! See lah!"
"Now run. Run mum, run!! No, no, no, not THAT way!!"
"Can you for once stop caring about getting all your flowers? Just run already lah. Get out of there! I don't understand whats so important about getting flowers when your life is at stake!!"
"Forget the cats. Granny is more important. Sacrifice the cats now!! JUMP!! JUMP!!"
I put up with this running critical monologue all the time. Can get very distracting. So sometimes I shush him. But when its his turn to play, its my turn to give the critique! Sometimes when I can't get out of a tight spot, I hand him the keyboard and tell him to go for it and get me out. Thats when I feel my age. Somehow he just has the knack to quickly figure out the best 'strategy' or 'route' to get Granny out alive. Whereas I usually have to sacrifice a few Grannies before I make it.
Playing Granny is always very fun with the kids all around. The girls tend to gasp and scream when Gran hits a tight spot. And the kids give the bad guys in the game names - like Crazy Poodle (for the demonic looking pink poodles with red glowing eyes that come after Granny). "Crazy Poodles' coming!" they cry as the poodle appears.
And for all the trash-talking that Isaac and I do, I think Granny has helped us bond in a certain way too. Reading The Wonder of Boys, it is similar to what Gurian says: that we need to communicate at their level. We need to reach them on their terms - and this means speaking the 'lingo', using their competitive nature etc. As a mother and a female, reaching out to boys is different from reaching out to girls. Girls are easy - (sort of) we share the same girly-issues. Like Gillian and I 'bond' over talking about fashion/clothes, celeb gossip (she is really, as they say in Chinese "Ba-gua"!) But Isaac is at the age when the boys move away from their mothers. So Granny is one very useful bridge between us. And so is Harry Potter - but that's a whole other blog post.
So if friends find that I am less often posting on AP or replying to emails a bit slower - ah, blame Granny. :-)
"Mummy, you have to see it in your head... Can you see it happening?"
That is a one-line lesson on visualisation. Similar to what I tell expectant mothers - visualise their birth, their labour etc. But this time, the lesson was for me. From my fishball boy Owain no less. He intoned it very solemnly too.
The scenario? The Granny Game.
I am, I have to confess, hooked on the granny game. This is the computer game called Granny in Paradise. Little old lady granny goes in search of cats, evading spear-carrying Tiki men, gorillas in tuxedoes, dogs and robots. We had bought the game for Isaac and downloaded it onto the PC. One day I sat down to try it out and that's it - hooked. So Isaac and I have been alternately competing with each other to see who has the highest scores and alternately helping each other by offering advice on how to get through each level. There are more than 100 levels - we've both since passed this already. So the granny itchy me went off to buy Super Granny 3 with more than 200 levels! So Isaac and I are now ploughing through that.
KH is amused/exasperated by us. The younger kids - Owain and Caitlin - are our audience. (Hence the earlier words of wisdom from him after one particularly frustrating round when Granny kept dying and dying and I was going aaarrgghhh!!)
And Trin? Just loves to nurse when I'm banging the arrow keys during the games. So sometimes when granny 'dies' I go: "Aiyah, see lah! Trin, you shouldn't have moved - I couldn't dig a hole fast enough!" Bad mummy to blame the baby, eh!
KH says that I get very anal when I watch Isaac play, offering advice all the time, that I should just leave him alone. Anal?? You haven't seen HIM offering 'advice' when I play! He says, in his usual rapid-fire way, stuff like:
"Mum!! For goodness sake, why are you always, forever, doing the wrong thing???"
"Dig a hole. You have to kill them here. Dig a hole. DIG A HOLE!! Now mum, dig!! DIG!!! Aargh! I told you to dig a hole! See lah!"
"Now run. Run mum, run!! No, no, no, not THAT way!!"
"Can you for once stop caring about getting all your flowers? Just run already lah. Get out of there! I don't understand whats so important about getting flowers when your life is at stake!!"
"Forget the cats. Granny is more important. Sacrifice the cats now!! JUMP!! JUMP!!"
I put up with this running critical monologue all the time. Can get very distracting. So sometimes I shush him. But when its his turn to play, its my turn to give the critique! Sometimes when I can't get out of a tight spot, I hand him the keyboard and tell him to go for it and get me out. Thats when I feel my age. Somehow he just has the knack to quickly figure out the best 'strategy' or 'route' to get Granny out alive. Whereas I usually have to sacrifice a few Grannies before I make it.
Playing Granny is always very fun with the kids all around. The girls tend to gasp and scream when Gran hits a tight spot. And the kids give the bad guys in the game names - like Crazy Poodle (for the demonic looking pink poodles with red glowing eyes that come after Granny). "Crazy Poodles' coming!" they cry as the poodle appears.
And for all the trash-talking that Isaac and I do, I think Granny has helped us bond in a certain way too. Reading The Wonder of Boys, it is similar to what Gurian says: that we need to communicate at their level. We need to reach them on their terms - and this means speaking the 'lingo', using their competitive nature etc. As a mother and a female, reaching out to boys is different from reaching out to girls. Girls are easy - (sort of) we share the same girly-issues. Like Gillian and I 'bond' over talking about fashion/clothes, celeb gossip (she is really, as they say in Chinese "Ba-gua"!) But Isaac is at the age when the boys move away from their mothers. So Granny is one very useful bridge between us. And so is Harry Potter - but that's a whole other blog post.
So if friends find that I am less often posting on AP or replying to emails a bit slower - ah, blame Granny. :-)
Conversations
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Isaac said: I want to be President.
I go: President of what? Timbuktu? USA? Singapore?
Isaac: Err... I think just Singapore lah.... Or no lah... I think I will just be a minister.
I go: Wah, that is very good! Being a minister means you must first do very very very very very well in school, get lots of scholarships etc.
Isaac: Errr... okay okay, I changed my mind! I'll just be a businessman!
KH steps in: Its not easy being a businessman, you need to work very hard to be successful. But at the end of the day, nothing in life will come easy - to do well, you just need to work very hard. If not, we might as well just sit in a corner and wait to die. Everything in life requires effort!
Caitlin: Mummy, mummy, I know what I want to be when I grow up! I want to be a ballet teacher and teach little girls how to dance!
Owain: I think I want to be a soldier. (He's more testosterone-laden than Isaac!)
I said: But what if there is a war? Won't it be dangerous?
Owain: No!
I said: What if people shoot at you? Isn't that dangerous?
Owain: No, I will just shoot them back!! Bambambambambambam!!!
Sigh.
Gillian: Er, I think I just want to be a mother just like you. I like to take care of babies and children.
I think she would be quite good at it too. And there can be no higher praise for me.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Isaac said: I want to be President.
I go: President of what? Timbuktu? USA? Singapore?
Isaac: Err... I think just Singapore lah.... Or no lah... I think I will just be a minister.
I go: Wah, that is very good! Being a minister means you must first do very very very very very well in school, get lots of scholarships etc.
Isaac: Errr... okay okay, I changed my mind! I'll just be a businessman!
KH steps in: Its not easy being a businessman, you need to work very hard to be successful. But at the end of the day, nothing in life will come easy - to do well, you just need to work very hard. If not, we might as well just sit in a corner and wait to die. Everything in life requires effort!
Caitlin: Mummy, mummy, I know what I want to be when I grow up! I want to be a ballet teacher and teach little girls how to dance!
Owain: I think I want to be a soldier. (He's more testosterone-laden than Isaac!)
I said: But what if there is a war? Won't it be dangerous?
Owain: No!
I said: What if people shoot at you? Isn't that dangerous?
Owain: No, I will just shoot them back!! Bambambambambambam!!!
Sigh.
Gillian: Er, I think I just want to be a mother just like you. I like to take care of babies and children.
I think she would be quite good at it too. And there can be no higher praise for me.
Nursing Owain
And while we're on breastfeeding. We love to tease Owain about when he's going to stop nursing. Especially my parents who will tut-tut and say that he's a big boy and should stop etc. I don't get indignant about this because I know they mean well and I am guilty of yanking his chain like this once in a while too. The boy is well able to defend his nen-nen turf. Thus far, he had always fended them off by saying that he will stop drinking nen-nen when he is 4 years old and ends by saying indignantly that he is still 3 years old!
But lately, as his 4th birthday draws near, he has changed his tune. He now says: When I am 4 years old, I will put a big sign that says "Mummies can give 4 year old boys nen-nen!" When I remind him that he said he would stop asking for nen-nen when he is 4 years old, he grins and laughs and denies saying it.
Well, he's the oldest I have nursed so far and he shows no signs of stopping. He still wakes up every 3 hours at night asking for nen-nen. I'm trying to night-wean him because my eczemic nipples are really crying out for some relief and because Trin is constantly on the breast at night - more so than Owain. Between this one and that one, it means almost constant nursing through the night hours. The poor latching and shallow suckling on broken skin and fissures is really agony. So I'm trying to wean Owain for the night - but it does not look like it's happening. He still wakes up regularly to ask for nen-nen.
These days at night, I ask for a story before nursing. He has to tell me a story before I nurse him. He always laughs and protests and then teases me by saying: "Once upon a time... The End!" and then he guffaws. When I insist, he tells me a 'story' - "Once upon a time... There was a boy called Owainy Benedict Chong Boon Khai... One day his baby sister went to the minimart... and Owainy couldn't find her. So he went to the minimart himself. The end!" Guffaw again.
We go a few rounds and then I relent and let my fishball boy nurse.
This thing about the minimart - the children love to go there and Lolita spoils them by taking them there and buying them little tidbits. Yesterday when I came home, Owain rushed up to me to say: Mummy, you will be very proud of me because I went to the minimart and I didn't eat Mamee Noodles! (His favourite unhealthy snack! He knows I disapprove of Mamee Noodles - those dried noodle snacks with a sachet of flavouring - MSG laden! - that is poured over the noodles and given a good shake.)
And the sweetest thing about nursing an older child - not just the verbal parlay, but the sweet expressions of love. Sometimes he would hug my arm, look up at me and say, mouth full of breast: Mum, I love you soooooo much. And I will never forget you.
Ah that pierces the heart so deeply. Words like that make me realise why love is always akin to a sword, one feels it sting so deeply and keenly, like a solid ache in the chest. I tell him too: I love you sooooooo much too. And I will never forget you also. Never ever.
I'm glad I'm blogging because this fishball boy will always stay this way in my blog - frozen in this kind of poignant sweetness. With every day that passes, he will grow up and away from me. The selfish part of me wishes I can stop time and keep him forever as my little smart-mouthed fishball boy. But no one can stop time. This is life. He will grow to be an older boy, then a teenager, then a man, get married, move away from me. And I will no longer be the centre of his universe as I am now. So now is the time to love as deeply and fully and richly as possible. But deep inside, I will always remember my fishball boy and the times when he tells me stories and tells me he loves me. Years later, these will be the memories I will call up to pierce my heart all over again.
How could I ever forget my fishball boy?
And while we're on breastfeeding. We love to tease Owain about when he's going to stop nursing. Especially my parents who will tut-tut and say that he's a big boy and should stop etc. I don't get indignant about this because I know they mean well and I am guilty of yanking his chain like this once in a while too. The boy is well able to defend his nen-nen turf. Thus far, he had always fended them off by saying that he will stop drinking nen-nen when he is 4 years old and ends by saying indignantly that he is still 3 years old!
But lately, as his 4th birthday draws near, he has changed his tune. He now says: When I am 4 years old, I will put a big sign that says "Mummies can give 4 year old boys nen-nen!" When I remind him that he said he would stop asking for nen-nen when he is 4 years old, he grins and laughs and denies saying it.
Well, he's the oldest I have nursed so far and he shows no signs of stopping. He still wakes up every 3 hours at night asking for nen-nen. I'm trying to night-wean him because my eczemic nipples are really crying out for some relief and because Trin is constantly on the breast at night - more so than Owain. Between this one and that one, it means almost constant nursing through the night hours. The poor latching and shallow suckling on broken skin and fissures is really agony. So I'm trying to wean Owain for the night - but it does not look like it's happening. He still wakes up regularly to ask for nen-nen.
These days at night, I ask for a story before nursing. He has to tell me a story before I nurse him. He always laughs and protests and then teases me by saying: "Once upon a time... The End!" and then he guffaws. When I insist, he tells me a 'story' - "Once upon a time... There was a boy called Owainy Benedict Chong Boon Khai... One day his baby sister went to the minimart... and Owainy couldn't find her. So he went to the minimart himself. The end!" Guffaw again.
We go a few rounds and then I relent and let my fishball boy nurse.
This thing about the minimart - the children love to go there and Lolita spoils them by taking them there and buying them little tidbits. Yesterday when I came home, Owain rushed up to me to say: Mummy, you will be very proud of me because I went to the minimart and I didn't eat Mamee Noodles! (His favourite unhealthy snack! He knows I disapprove of Mamee Noodles - those dried noodle snacks with a sachet of flavouring - MSG laden! - that is poured over the noodles and given a good shake.)
And the sweetest thing about nursing an older child - not just the verbal parlay, but the sweet expressions of love. Sometimes he would hug my arm, look up at me and say, mouth full of breast: Mum, I love you soooooo much. And I will never forget you.
Ah that pierces the heart so deeply. Words like that make me realise why love is always akin to a sword, one feels it sting so deeply and keenly, like a solid ache in the chest. I tell him too: I love you sooooooo much too. And I will never forget you also. Never ever.
I'm glad I'm blogging because this fishball boy will always stay this way in my blog - frozen in this kind of poignant sweetness. With every day that passes, he will grow up and away from me. The selfish part of me wishes I can stop time and keep him forever as my little smart-mouthed fishball boy. But no one can stop time. This is life. He will grow to be an older boy, then a teenager, then a man, get married, move away from me. And I will no longer be the centre of his universe as I am now. So now is the time to love as deeply and fully and richly as possible. But deep inside, I will always remember my fishball boy and the times when he tells me stories and tells me he loves me. Years later, these will be the memories I will call up to pierce my heart all over again.
How could I ever forget my fishball boy?
Monday, July 30, 2007
Setting a record... and then what?
Come 8 August 2007, breastfeeding mothers all over the world will be doing their bit to raise some awareness on breastfeeding. In Singapore, the BMSG is organising a mass breastfeeding event. Mothers are called to come nurse their nurslings in unity at the magic time of 10am Singapore time. This synchronises with other groups all over the world who are also breastfeeding then. The group hopes to set a national record to have the largest number of mothers breastfeeding simultaneously. So come one, come all, bring your nurslings and your breasts and together, we will sit and nurse. I'm not quite sure how they will do this - on the count of three? Okay I am being facetious.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against this. I support all efforts to raise breastfeeding awareness. Somewhere out there, I'm sure there will be mothers who will benefit from this.
Somehow.
And that, I guess, is my beef with this. So let me grouse - after all, this is my blog! WBW comes but once a year. What has quietly slumbered for 51 weeks suddenly roars to life as the media machinery (provided no other hot stories) scrambles. Photogs take pictures, journalists coax interesting soundbites as mothers smile, babies nurse (whats with the hullabaloo?) . The breast of course, never makes it to Page 1. All breasts, who are the stars of the show, ironically remain coyly under wraps. This IS Singapore after all... God forbid that a breastfeeding mother show more booby flesh than the cover of IHM!
But I digress. Again, not my beef. If the media goes to town with breastfeeding, and that results in one more mother, one more father and one more mother-in-law out there gaining respect and support for breastfeeding then I say - more power to the media!
But then, what happens the other 51 weeks of the year? What happens when the national record is set? So we get 1178 mothers nursing simultaneously in Singapore. Then what? What does it prove? What does it change? What practical help does this record offer?
We still get the same old rubbishy myths on breastfeeding being circulated eg breastmilk loses nutritional value after one year! There will still be mothers inundated with formula ads that tell half-truths or even plain untruths. There will still be employers who sniff at nursing breaks, who baulk at setting nursing rooms. Most of Singapore's hospitals will still remain un-Babyfriendly. We will still have a cord blood bank but sadly, not a milk bank. Formula manufacturers still gleefully test the thin line boundaries of the SIFECs Code.
And if this sounds gloomy and depressing, then wait a bit. We're really not half bad already.
In Singapore, I think the level of awareness for breastfeeding is higher than it has ever been. Our breastfeeding initiation rates are well into the 90+ percentile. Today in Singapore, we also have more support networks in place and more trained IBCLCs here to help. More mothers start out after birth knowing that breastmilk is the 'gold standard' (I actually disagree with this definition but that's another issue!) and they are motivated to at least 'try' to breastfeed. (Though a good friend I know always quotes Yoda when it comes to the word 'try'. The little guy gets it spot on!)
This places us in a far more fortunate position than many less affluent countries whose mothers are often more susceptible to the 'wonder claims' of formula manufacturers - not uncommonly sometimes with tragic results - especially if sanitation/hygiene etc is not well-established in the country. For us in Singapore, the decision not to breastfeed is not likely to end in tragedy - illness/death. But for fellow mothers elsewhere in poorer countries, this risk is, sadly, very real.
The scenario that played out 20, 30 years ago when the Nestle boycott first swung into action is still very much real. In countries where the WHO Code is not strictly enforced, manufacturers have a field day. Mothers go home with formula packs and are told that the product is 'superior' and can help the child do better in school, the child goes on formula, mother loses supply, poor sanitation comes into the picture, formula is made with contaminated water or wrongly made, or skimped on because the parents eventually can't afford it, then the child falls ill or sometimes dies. This is real.
Why am I saying all this? Because I have yet to make the final, logical link between 1178 mothers simultaneously breastfeeding and that baby dying in some third-world country! How, I wonder, does the national record, help them? And if we don't even think that is relevent, and we don't want to look that far, look closer to home. How does that national record help the factory worker mother here breastfeed her baby for longer than the 2 or 3 months maternity leave (if they even take maternity leave!)? How does that national record work towards persuading doctors, hospitals and the medical establishment to set up a milk bank? How will that persuade hospitals to shape up enough to become Baby-Friendly as under the BFHI set by UNICEF? (I know one hospital here is already working towards this - but others? I think every hospital that is involved with mothers and birthing should be certified BFHI but that again, is a different issue.)
Beyond just solidarity/making records on that one day in a year, I hope we can do more.
Looking beyond Singapore, is there a way that mothers here can show solidarity and support for other mothers elsewhere struggling to breastfeed/or help fly the breastfeeding flag in places where support is needed? Can part of the proceeds from this event go towards any effort to help fund/promote breastfeeding in parts of the world that may need help? Eg Filipino mothers in the Philippines from the recent press reports, are facing a lot of commercial pressure from formula firms. I'm not sure what can be done. But its worth thinking about.
I am all for establishing solidarity and support among breastfeeding moms. And I acknowledge that Singapore's level of breastfeeding awareness today certainly did not grow overnight if we did not have the solidarity created with the help/support of organisations like BMSG, LLL and other committed and dedicated health professionals who pushed for LC certification, training and recognition. Even informal e-groups like Asiaparents have been so instrumental in getting the breastfeeding message across.
So let’s make the records and keep breaking them annually as more mothers breastfeed together. I hope the organisers will think a bit harder about enlarging the picture. This need not just be a once-a-year tea-and-breastfeeding happy get-together for nursing moms. I think it can be a lot more focused and meaningful. We need to get the lactivist spirit going in our moms. For example, I'm all for charging for the event - when mothers know that the funds will be channelled to a good cause, I don't think charging will be a deterrent to participation. And kept to a central location, with a family-friendly restaurant/establishment supporting the cause by sponsoring drinks/meals, might help send secondary messages - eg "my baby eats where I eat" or something like that to show that nursing mothers need not hide in nursing rooms. And as for the funds? Show how the money will be used - perhaps setting up a fund to "Sponsor an LC for 6 months in the Philippines" programme? Or set a "Breast-friendly" certification for local eateries.
Innovative thrusts like this - to nurse simultaneously to create awareness/raise support etc - are good, but let’s not stop there. Otherwise, it runs the danger of just being gimmicky and loses credibility. To me, breastfeeding has to be meaningful year-round - and not just to set a record for WBW once a year.
And since this is my blog, I know what people will say: Well, easy for you to say! Walk the talk then! Join the BMSG and do something! etc etc... I know, I know... That's why its on my blog and not on Asiaparents - haha! It's so easy to be an armchair critic eh? But with two babes at my breasts (literally) and a new business to think about, my arms are quite full for now. Maybe when they wean eh?? Hah! According to Mr Owain, this is not likely in the near future!
Come 8 August 2007, breastfeeding mothers all over the world will be doing their bit to raise some awareness on breastfeeding. In Singapore, the BMSG is organising a mass breastfeeding event. Mothers are called to come nurse their nurslings in unity at the magic time of 10am Singapore time. This synchronises with other groups all over the world who are also breastfeeding then. The group hopes to set a national record to have the largest number of mothers breastfeeding simultaneously. So come one, come all, bring your nurslings and your breasts and together, we will sit and nurse. I'm not quite sure how they will do this - on the count of three? Okay I am being facetious.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against this. I support all efforts to raise breastfeeding awareness. Somewhere out there, I'm sure there will be mothers who will benefit from this.
Somehow.
And that, I guess, is my beef with this. So let me grouse - after all, this is my blog! WBW comes but once a year. What has quietly slumbered for 51 weeks suddenly roars to life as the media machinery (provided no other hot stories) scrambles. Photogs take pictures, journalists coax interesting soundbites as mothers smile, babies nurse (whats with the hullabaloo?) . The breast of course, never makes it to Page 1. All breasts, who are the stars of the show, ironically remain coyly under wraps. This IS Singapore after all... God forbid that a breastfeeding mother show more booby flesh than the cover of IHM!
But I digress. Again, not my beef. If the media goes to town with breastfeeding, and that results in one more mother, one more father and one more mother-in-law out there gaining respect and support for breastfeeding then I say - more power to the media!
But then, what happens the other 51 weeks of the year? What happens when the national record is set? So we get 1178 mothers nursing simultaneously in Singapore. Then what? What does it prove? What does it change? What practical help does this record offer?
We still get the same old rubbishy myths on breastfeeding being circulated eg breastmilk loses nutritional value after one year! There will still be mothers inundated with formula ads that tell half-truths or even plain untruths. There will still be employers who sniff at nursing breaks, who baulk at setting nursing rooms. Most of Singapore's hospitals will still remain un-Babyfriendly. We will still have a cord blood bank but sadly, not a milk bank. Formula manufacturers still gleefully test the thin line boundaries of the SIFECs Code.
And if this sounds gloomy and depressing, then wait a bit. We're really not half bad already.
In Singapore, I think the level of awareness for breastfeeding is higher than it has ever been. Our breastfeeding initiation rates are well into the 90+ percentile. Today in Singapore, we also have more support networks in place and more trained IBCLCs here to help. More mothers start out after birth knowing that breastmilk is the 'gold standard' (I actually disagree with this definition but that's another issue!) and they are motivated to at least 'try' to breastfeed. (Though a good friend I know always quotes Yoda when it comes to the word 'try'. The little guy gets it spot on!)
This places us in a far more fortunate position than many less affluent countries whose mothers are often more susceptible to the 'wonder claims' of formula manufacturers - not uncommonly sometimes with tragic results - especially if sanitation/hygiene etc is not well-established in the country. For us in Singapore, the decision not to breastfeed is not likely to end in tragedy - illness/death. But for fellow mothers elsewhere in poorer countries, this risk is, sadly, very real.
The scenario that played out 20, 30 years ago when the Nestle boycott first swung into action is still very much real. In countries where the WHO Code is not strictly enforced, manufacturers have a field day. Mothers go home with formula packs and are told that the product is 'superior' and can help the child do better in school, the child goes on formula, mother loses supply, poor sanitation comes into the picture, formula is made with contaminated water or wrongly made, or skimped on because the parents eventually can't afford it, then the child falls ill or sometimes dies. This is real.
Why am I saying all this? Because I have yet to make the final, logical link between 1178 mothers simultaneously breastfeeding and that baby dying in some third-world country! How, I wonder, does the national record, help them? And if we don't even think that is relevent, and we don't want to look that far, look closer to home. How does that national record help the factory worker mother here breastfeed her baby for longer than the 2 or 3 months maternity leave (if they even take maternity leave!)? How does that national record work towards persuading doctors, hospitals and the medical establishment to set up a milk bank? How will that persuade hospitals to shape up enough to become Baby-Friendly as under the BFHI set by UNICEF? (I know one hospital here is already working towards this - but others? I think every hospital that is involved with mothers and birthing should be certified BFHI but that again, is a different issue.)
Beyond just solidarity/making records on that one day in a year, I hope we can do more.
Looking beyond Singapore, is there a way that mothers here can show solidarity and support for other mothers elsewhere struggling to breastfeed/or help fly the breastfeeding flag in places where support is needed? Can part of the proceeds from this event go towards any effort to help fund/promote breastfeeding in parts of the world that may need help? Eg Filipino mothers in the Philippines from the recent press reports, are facing a lot of commercial pressure from formula firms. I'm not sure what can be done. But its worth thinking about.
I am all for establishing solidarity and support among breastfeeding moms. And I acknowledge that Singapore's level of breastfeeding awareness today certainly did not grow overnight if we did not have the solidarity created with the help/support of organisations like BMSG, LLL and other committed and dedicated health professionals who pushed for LC certification, training and recognition. Even informal e-groups like Asiaparents have been so instrumental in getting the breastfeeding message across.
So let’s make the records and keep breaking them annually as more mothers breastfeed together. I hope the organisers will think a bit harder about enlarging the picture. This need not just be a once-a-year tea-and-breastfeeding happy get-together for nursing moms. I think it can be a lot more focused and meaningful. We need to get the lactivist spirit going in our moms. For example, I'm all for charging for the event - when mothers know that the funds will be channelled to a good cause, I don't think charging will be a deterrent to participation. And kept to a central location, with a family-friendly restaurant/establishment supporting the cause by sponsoring drinks/meals, might help send secondary messages - eg "my baby eats where I eat" or something like that to show that nursing mothers need not hide in nursing rooms. And as for the funds? Show how the money will be used - perhaps setting up a fund to "Sponsor an LC for 6 months in the Philippines" programme? Or set a "Breast-friendly" certification for local eateries.
Innovative thrusts like this - to nurse simultaneously to create awareness/raise support etc - are good, but let’s not stop there. Otherwise, it runs the danger of just being gimmicky and loses credibility. To me, breastfeeding has to be meaningful year-round - and not just to set a record for WBW once a year.
And since this is my blog, I know what people will say: Well, easy for you to say! Walk the talk then! Join the BMSG and do something! etc etc... I know, I know... That's why its on my blog and not on Asiaparents - haha! It's so easy to be an armchair critic eh? But with two babes at my breasts (literally) and a new business to think about, my arms are quite full for now. Maybe when they wean eh?? Hah! According to Mr Owain, this is not likely in the near future!
Peeing in public
What would you do?
Was at the Novena MRT station waiting for my train last week when I witnessed a not-so-pleasant act. The station, on a weekday afternoon, was moderately empty. I had walked down the escalator heading towards an empty bench when I did a double-take at what I saw: at an adjacent bench, a mother pulling down the pants of a 6 or 7-year-old girl. The girl was giggling away. At first I thought the mom was helping the girl change - perhaps she had soiled her shorts etc. I thought it was odd and a bit uncomfortable that her private parts could be clearly seen by anyone. It was a very public place after all.
But no, she didn't need to change. The girl needed to pee. And the mother gave me an apologetic smile as she made the girl squat and held a plastic bag for the girl to pee into. All this was in full view of the handful of other commuters. After that, she wiped the girl up, tied up the bag of pee and looked for a bin (which, thanks to anti-terrorist measures, were no longer in existence in MRT stations). Failing to find one, she stuffed it into her stroller (she was also with a toddler and an older boy around 12yrs, and a man - presumably her husband). A puddle of pee was left on the floor - she didn't bother to wipe it up.
First, why let a girl of that age do this in public? I would have left the station to find a toilet. Not difficult - the basement of Sq2 (linked to the MRT concourse) had easy toilets - just round the corner. I can't imagine asking Cait to do something like this - and for heavens' sake the girl should be old enough to hold the pee until you reach the Sq2 toilets! She's not a toddler. At the age of 6, I'm conscious enough of girl modesty that I keep nagging Cait to sit properly, try not to let underwear show, not to scratch herself there in public etc. I would be curious about this little girl's mindset (and her mother's) with regards to modesty that she sees nothing wrong in peeing in public like that. Even a 3yo boy like Owain, when he has to pee and there is nowhere but the nearest bush/tree, is squeamish about it. He always says, no mummy people can see! So I wonder at this mother's total lack of self-consciousness. After all, this was not a tree/bush or even a semi-private area, but the waiting area of an MRT station!
Secondly, that puddle of pee. And here's where I think I did not do the right thing. I debated internally about that puddle. Should I walk up to them and ask that they wipe it clean? Or mind my own business? Or should I alert the station master to get a cleaner? Not to squeal on them, but just to clean it up? And what if the station master started asking questions - would I have to finger them? What if there was a scene? I hate scenes. And so on... until the decision was taken out of my hands by the arrival of the train.
To my consternation, the group entered the same train and ended up sitting right in front of me. The most I could do was to give an icy glare. But it was moot anyway since she conscientiously avoided looking at me.
Upon reflection, I think I did not do well there too. My courage failed me. The lack of civic consciousness displayed by that action is compounded by my silent complicity. By keeping quiet, I implicitly 'approved' the action. After all, we also believe a sin is caused by commission as well as omission. If I felt so uncomfortable about it, I should have spoken up. Would that have made a difference to the woman? Clearly she already knew it was not right and she felt uncomfortable about it - she would not meet my gaze. Hopefully she thinks about it and not do this again.
And as for me, I need to learn to take a deep breath and speak up when things do not sit right.
I tell my children it is important to speak up for people, for what they believe is right or wrong. But my action in this situation shows that I am unable to walk the talk. So... this needs more work.
What would you do?
Was at the Novena MRT station waiting for my train last week when I witnessed a not-so-pleasant act. The station, on a weekday afternoon, was moderately empty. I had walked down the escalator heading towards an empty bench when I did a double-take at what I saw: at an adjacent bench, a mother pulling down the pants of a 6 or 7-year-old girl. The girl was giggling away. At first I thought the mom was helping the girl change - perhaps she had soiled her shorts etc. I thought it was odd and a bit uncomfortable that her private parts could be clearly seen by anyone. It was a very public place after all.
But no, she didn't need to change. The girl needed to pee. And the mother gave me an apologetic smile as she made the girl squat and held a plastic bag for the girl to pee into. All this was in full view of the handful of other commuters. After that, she wiped the girl up, tied up the bag of pee and looked for a bin (which, thanks to anti-terrorist measures, were no longer in existence in MRT stations). Failing to find one, she stuffed it into her stroller (she was also with a toddler and an older boy around 12yrs, and a man - presumably her husband). A puddle of pee was left on the floor - she didn't bother to wipe it up.
First, why let a girl of that age do this in public? I would have left the station to find a toilet. Not difficult - the basement of Sq2 (linked to the MRT concourse) had easy toilets - just round the corner. I can't imagine asking Cait to do something like this - and for heavens' sake the girl should be old enough to hold the pee until you reach the Sq2 toilets! She's not a toddler. At the age of 6, I'm conscious enough of girl modesty that I keep nagging Cait to sit properly, try not to let underwear show, not to scratch herself there in public etc. I would be curious about this little girl's mindset (and her mother's) with regards to modesty that she sees nothing wrong in peeing in public like that. Even a 3yo boy like Owain, when he has to pee and there is nowhere but the nearest bush/tree, is squeamish about it. He always says, no mummy people can see! So I wonder at this mother's total lack of self-consciousness. After all, this was not a tree/bush or even a semi-private area, but the waiting area of an MRT station!
Secondly, that puddle of pee. And here's where I think I did not do the right thing. I debated internally about that puddle. Should I walk up to them and ask that they wipe it clean? Or mind my own business? Or should I alert the station master to get a cleaner? Not to squeal on them, but just to clean it up? And what if the station master started asking questions - would I have to finger them? What if there was a scene? I hate scenes. And so on... until the decision was taken out of my hands by the arrival of the train.
To my consternation, the group entered the same train and ended up sitting right in front of me. The most I could do was to give an icy glare. But it was moot anyway since she conscientiously avoided looking at me.
Upon reflection, I think I did not do well there too. My courage failed me. The lack of civic consciousness displayed by that action is compounded by my silent complicity. By keeping quiet, I implicitly 'approved' the action. After all, we also believe a sin is caused by commission as well as omission. If I felt so uncomfortable about it, I should have spoken up. Would that have made a difference to the woman? Clearly she already knew it was not right and she felt uncomfortable about it - she would not meet my gaze. Hopefully she thinks about it and not do this again.
And as for me, I need to learn to take a deep breath and speak up when things do not sit right.
I tell my children it is important to speak up for people, for what they believe is right or wrong. But my action in this situation shows that I am unable to walk the talk. So... this needs more work.
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