Cotton On was selling these perky tanks with tulle wings. Thought Trin would look really cute in these. Especially in the pink tutu we bought from Malaysia. Tank was not very expensive at $12.95 each.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Ah birthday weekend rolls round again.
Started out great with about two hours of queuing in front of The Arts House for Neil Gaiman Meet-the-Author tix. It was a cloudy day but also a muggy one but the company in the queue made it fun and time just breezed by. The box office opened only at 11am but I arrived at 9.30am to find a queue already formed. Apparently the earliest arrived at 6.40am! I did toy with the idea of abandoning brekkie and coming earlier at 8.30am but decided I would not be so kiasu. Brekkie is too important to forgo!
Luckily I decided to pop in only at 9.30am because the timing allowed me to meet some really nice people that morning - all fellow Gaiman fans who were in the queue just before and after me. The five or six of them included a first-year NTU student from the Philippines, an animator and very talented illustrator, a civil servant from Mindef and a lady who works at Apple. All from very different walks of life but all Gaiman fans!
Started out great with about two hours of queuing in front of The Arts House for Neil Gaiman Meet-the-Author tix. It was a cloudy day but also a muggy one but the company in the queue made it fun and time just breezed by. The box office opened only at 11am but I arrived at 9.30am to find a queue already formed. Apparently the earliest arrived at 6.40am! I did toy with the idea of abandoning brekkie and coming earlier at 8.30am but decided I would not be so kiasu. Brekkie is too important to forgo!
Luckily I decided to pop in only at 9.30am because the timing allowed me to meet some really nice people that morning - all fellow Gaiman fans who were in the queue just before and after me. The five or six of them included a first-year NTU student from the Philippines, an animator and very talented illustrator, a civil servant from Mindef and a lady who works at Apple. All from very different walks of life but all Gaiman fans!
Among them was the ST editor who writes my favourite ST column "Letter from Kyoto". Sheer wonderful coincidence. Her columns are at times lively, funny, at times moving and lyrical. They always never fail to paint an evocative picture of life in Kyoto - life as I wish I could live over there. I always make it a point to read her column on Saturdays. So imagine my glee/shock when I realised that I was sitting right next to her in the queue!! Had to stop myself from gushing - very gauche!
KH was very nice. Apart from a roll of the eyes, he left me to queue but came back with a big brolly and a bottle of water. He disappeared again but returned later with a cup of icy Coke (bliss!) and newly cut hair! To kill time he had gone over to Funan Centre. Rather than abandon me to my own devices and go off to pick Owain up from Berries, he decided to stick around and wait till I had my tickets. We ended up picking up Owain quite late! Luckily the Berries folks were okay about it.
With such fun company, time just flew past. It paid off too - I got my pair of tickets for the Gaiman event! Yay!!! I plan to bring Isaac with me. The next fun bit is deciding which book/s to bring for The Autographs. Definitely on the list is The Graveyard Book and Smoke and Mirrors(which contains the short story which made me fall in love with Gaiman's writing. The story about the cat which protects its human family through horrific nightly battles with the devil was both gripping and moving. Now, everytime I see Tigerlily perched on the gatepost, I am reminded of that story). Isaac is equally a fan, ever since he read Stardust at P6 last year.
Birthday weekend was nice all round. Saturday night was spent on a somewhat late birthday date with KH at Samy's Curry at Dempsey after picking me up from the hospital at 8pm. The masala chicken was spot-on that night and we both ate too much but we had a nice time.
Birthday Sunday was well-spent with a dimsum brekkie at Red Star. Birthday luck must have been holding out since we got a table almost immediately after we joined the long queue for tables. Isaac later told me someone gave us the middle finger as we were called out of the queue by the maitre'd. Too happy to be angry at the sorry person with the narrow mind, so we just ignored and enjoyed the dimsum.
Dad in the hospital also looked better. He ate 2/3 of his porridge and was more chatty than I'd seen him in days, talking to Gillian about getting a better bowling ball and growling about the triads in the Bruce Lee Ch8 serial. While I was in the hospital, KH took the kids to the park.
When he picked us up, we went to Island Creamery for ice-cream instead of lunch. Went home happy but the kids got drilled in their work, mummy's birthday or not. While they were swotting, I had a nag-free 3 hours to watch Nodame Cantabile, J-drama I was curious about. Sushi was offered for dinner but declined in favour of comfort cooking - steamboat!
The night ended with my kids around me blowing out candles of my Awfully Chocolate brandy cherry cake - yum!
40 was not a bad year. Hopefully 41 would be equally good, if not better. Now I am well and truly over the 40th threshold!
KH was very nice. Apart from a roll of the eyes, he left me to queue but came back with a big brolly and a bottle of water. He disappeared again but returned later with a cup of icy Coke (bliss!) and newly cut hair! To kill time he had gone over to Funan Centre. Rather than abandon me to my own devices and go off to pick Owain up from Berries, he decided to stick around and wait till I had my tickets. We ended up picking up Owain quite late! Luckily the Berries folks were okay about it.
With such fun company, time just flew past. It paid off too - I got my pair of tickets for the Gaiman event! Yay!!! I plan to bring Isaac with me. The next fun bit is deciding which book/s to bring for The Autographs. Definitely on the list is The Graveyard Book and Smoke and Mirrors(which contains the short story which made me fall in love with Gaiman's writing. The story about the cat which protects its human family through horrific nightly battles with the devil was both gripping and moving. Now, everytime I see Tigerlily perched on the gatepost, I am reminded of that story). Isaac is equally a fan, ever since he read Stardust at P6 last year.
Birthday weekend was nice all round. Saturday night was spent on a somewhat late birthday date with KH at Samy's Curry at Dempsey after picking me up from the hospital at 8pm. The masala chicken was spot-on that night and we both ate too much but we had a nice time.
Birthday Sunday was well-spent with a dimsum brekkie at Red Star. Birthday luck must have been holding out since we got a table almost immediately after we joined the long queue for tables. Isaac later told me someone gave us the middle finger as we were called out of the queue by the maitre'd. Too happy to be angry at the sorry person with the narrow mind, so we just ignored and enjoyed the dimsum.
Dad in the hospital also looked better. He ate 2/3 of his porridge and was more chatty than I'd seen him in days, talking to Gillian about getting a better bowling ball and growling about the triads in the Bruce Lee Ch8 serial. While I was in the hospital, KH took the kids to the park.
When he picked us up, we went to Island Creamery for ice-cream instead of lunch. Went home happy but the kids got drilled in their work, mummy's birthday or not. While they were swotting, I had a nag-free 3 hours to watch Nodame Cantabile, J-drama I was curious about. Sushi was offered for dinner but declined in favour of comfort cooking - steamboat!
The night ended with my kids around me blowing out candles of my Awfully Chocolate brandy cherry cake - yum!
40 was not a bad year. Hopefully 41 would be equally good, if not better. Now I am well and truly over the 40th threshold!
Dad went home from hospital on Wed and promptly went back in on Friday. Like I said, one step forward, two steps back.
When he went in, his legs were swollen and according to my mom, his hypo count was so low, he was on the verge of a diabetic coma. When she brought him in, he was already slurring and his pupils fixed and staring. Since then the docs have put him back on antibiotics and a pee catheter to see how much he's passing out - which was not much until they gave him lasiks. He also had a blood transfusion on Sunday but his blood count remains low. He's also not eating much so we rejoice if he could even finish half to two-thirds of his food.
All signs point to the pancreas not working well, not healing as it should. With the second ultrasound already showing signs of necrosis, the slow deterioration is not a good sign.
I feel as if dad is just slowly fading. Oh sure, I should be optimistic, and I should have hope. Its not that I don't. But I also want to be realistic. I think they are busy just putting out fires as and when these appear and I wonder how long it would be sustainable and if this would be sustainable at home too - does not seem to be since he had to be re-admitted within days of discharge.
Its a long hard slog for anyone who comes down with pancreatitis. But given dad's age and other medical issues, its a harder slog for him and I don't think he would be ever as well as he used to be before this incident - if at all he makes it out of this one.
When he went in, his legs were swollen and according to my mom, his hypo count was so low, he was on the verge of a diabetic coma. When she brought him in, he was already slurring and his pupils fixed and staring. Since then the docs have put him back on antibiotics and a pee catheter to see how much he's passing out - which was not much until they gave him lasiks. He also had a blood transfusion on Sunday but his blood count remains low. He's also not eating much so we rejoice if he could even finish half to two-thirds of his food.
All signs point to the pancreas not working well, not healing as it should. With the second ultrasound already showing signs of necrosis, the slow deterioration is not a good sign.
I feel as if dad is just slowly fading. Oh sure, I should be optimistic, and I should have hope. Its not that I don't. But I also want to be realistic. I think they are busy just putting out fires as and when these appear and I wonder how long it would be sustainable and if this would be sustainable at home too - does not seem to be since he had to be re-admitted within days of discharge.
Its a long hard slog for anyone who comes down with pancreatitis. But given dad's age and other medical issues, its a harder slog for him and I don't think he would be ever as well as he used to be before this incident - if at all he makes it out of this one.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The night I got my JR passes, I prolonged the happy-Japanese mood by treating myself to a late dinner at Itacho in Ion.
I had:
Super-jumbo scallop sushi (looks obscenely huge, draping itself over the tiny ball of rice - but so sweet and delicious!)
Fatty tuna with spring onion 'warship' aka the usual negitoro gunkan (minced toro looked pale but tasted good. Would still prefer the negitoro at the usual Ichiban outlets)
California roll (nothing to shout home about but serviceable. Mayo dribbled on the outside instead of in the roll)
Some clam (okay, this is lame but I cannot for the life of me, remember the name of the this clam except that it is a seasonal dish. I liked it. The texture is not rubbery hard, firm to the bite and sweetish in taste)
Squid and mentaiko warship (hmm, not sure why they call this a warship. Squid was very soft, squishy soft and the mentaiko lent a good spicy kick)
And finally, the two stars of the day...
Wagyu beef sushi (my first time tasting wagyu beef, let alone raw and in sushi form. Famed for its generous marbling of fat, the wagyu was buttery and melt-in-the-mouth. There was only the teensiest whiff of gamey-meet, enough to remind you that this is raw beef. The taste was very rich and while I enjoyed it, I think it can never replace the otoro as the emperor)
Otoro sushi (I was in two minds over whether I should have this first or the wagyu but I was glad I kept this to the last. Lush slab with fat veining through the portion, it was heavenly. Everytime I eat otoro, instinctively my eyes would shut and all my tastebuds just go on wild red alert and the explosion of taste and texture that the otoro commands.)
Truly a satisfactory meal.
Itacho sells its sushi in single pieces so the prices can add up. However, prices for even the premium fish are very reasonable. The otoro and wagyu cost about $6 each. While one may gasp at $6 going down at one pop, bear in mind that most other places will sell otoro in a pair at $22 or more. The ikura warship that I did not order this round, was also reasonably priced at less than $3 a piece but in other places, eg the sushi chains, you're looking at $6+ for a double portion.
Given the quality of the fish and the portion (thick generous servings that drape - this is important! - over the rice) I think Itacho has proven to be good value so far. It seems to be mid-priced sushi that is a notch or so above the kaiten chains we have here. The selection of fish is pretty good and seems wider than what the chains offer, although these are generally the pricier cuts of fish. My grouse is that they offer wasabi in a paste - typical of mid to low-range sushi joints, but still a pity considering the sort of fish they have on the menu. But I guess I can understand too, after all they do not claim to be the high-end boutique sushi restaurants that offer only the best grated wasabi.
I had:
Super-jumbo scallop sushi (looks obscenely huge, draping itself over the tiny ball of rice - but so sweet and delicious!)
Fatty tuna with spring onion 'warship' aka the usual negitoro gunkan (minced toro looked pale but tasted good. Would still prefer the negitoro at the usual Ichiban outlets)
California roll (nothing to shout home about but serviceable. Mayo dribbled on the outside instead of in the roll)
Some clam (okay, this is lame but I cannot for the life of me, remember the name of the this clam except that it is a seasonal dish. I liked it. The texture is not rubbery hard, firm to the bite and sweetish in taste)
Squid and mentaiko warship (hmm, not sure why they call this a warship. Squid was very soft, squishy soft and the mentaiko lent a good spicy kick)
And finally, the two stars of the day...
Wagyu beef sushi (my first time tasting wagyu beef, let alone raw and in sushi form. Famed for its generous marbling of fat, the wagyu was buttery and melt-in-the-mouth. There was only the teensiest whiff of gamey-meet, enough to remind you that this is raw beef. The taste was very rich and while I enjoyed it, I think it can never replace the otoro as the emperor)
Otoro sushi (I was in two minds over whether I should have this first or the wagyu but I was glad I kept this to the last. Lush slab with fat veining through the portion, it was heavenly. Everytime I eat otoro, instinctively my eyes would shut and all my tastebuds just go on wild red alert and the explosion of taste and texture that the otoro commands.)
Truly a satisfactory meal.
Itacho sells its sushi in single pieces so the prices can add up. However, prices for even the premium fish are very reasonable. The otoro and wagyu cost about $6 each. While one may gasp at $6 going down at one pop, bear in mind that most other places will sell otoro in a pair at $22 or more. The ikura warship that I did not order this round, was also reasonably priced at less than $3 a piece but in other places, eg the sushi chains, you're looking at $6+ for a double portion.
Given the quality of the fish and the portion (thick generous servings that drape - this is important! - over the rice) I think Itacho has proven to be good value so far. It seems to be mid-priced sushi that is a notch or so above the kaiten chains we have here. The selection of fish is pretty good and seems wider than what the chains offer, although these are generally the pricier cuts of fish. My grouse is that they offer wasabi in a paste - typical of mid to low-range sushi joints, but still a pity considering the sort of fish they have on the menu. But I guess I can understand too, after all they do not claim to be the high-end boutique sushi restaurants that offer only the best grated wasabi.
Its stalemate at the Riang corral yesterday.
The story goes back two weeks or so when we discovered Tigerlily missing one morning. KH followed the sound of her mews and found her caged and trapped in a steel cage in the neighbour's garden. There was much sound and fury that morning as we pleaded with the irate neighbour to release TL.
The man refused to do so claiming that TL had come in and peed/pooed on his backyard, ruining his tiny patch pearl grass. We peered over and true enough, there were brown patches where the cat's 'acidic' pee had seeped through. We could not say for sure if it was TL but the guy was adamant. He was furious and triumphant that he had caught TL. At one point, he sputtered, "Do you know how expensive it was to try to catch your cat? I had fresh fish in that cage for one and a half months and your cat did not take the bait!" Secretly, I was so proud of TL to evade capture for so long.
He wanted to send the cat away and initially refused to listen to any of our suggestions. We offered to train the cat - he scoffed: "Think so easy ah? Its not possible to train the cat!" And so on it went until he exhausted his fury. Can you imagine the scene. Both KH and I peering over the neighbour's fence in the alley behind our house, the shouting (mostly done by the old man and a fair bit by KH who was shirtless and thus had his love handle firmly in my pincer grip to prevent him from losing it and yelling his head off which would certainly have made things worse), the number of eyes that must have been watching from the various houses nearby etc.
Well we were both frantic with worry that the neighbour would not release TL, but finally he did. He gave us an unreasonable deadline of one week to train the cat. Which we said was impossible. But as I reasoned with him, at least give us time and a chance to try and do something about the situation. We gave him our phone numbers so that he could call us if TL did the naughty again and we also offered to send a gardener to patch the 'holes' in his yard. He was finally mollified enough to release the cat to us.
That episode resulted in many emails to cat-loving friends and contacts to seek advice. That very day, we closed up the whole house and left TL inside - and us sweating it out in the enclosed heat. We dared not open any window/door in case she escaped. I went straight out to buy a big kitty litter for her. Back home, I dribbled some catnip in front of the litter to entice her. TL launched herself on the catnip like an addict to marijuana! Following that, she immediately sniffed the brand new litter, cautiously went in to check it out and promptly did a pee/poo job in there! The kids and I stood there and applauded!
But after two days of stuffiness in a closed-up house, we decided to let her loose in the day. After that, came two instances where we received calls from the neighbour and Lolita had to be sent behind to his home to pick up her poo. So we fine-tuned the strategy by keeping her in for a lot longer in the morning - instead of letting her out at 6am when the doors are opened, we seal up the house until 9am when its bright. We are hoping she would not do the poo/pee in the bright open day and would use her litter box before she went out. We're not too worried about the rest of the day because cats generally sleep 80% of the time and TL is no exception. In the day, she can mostly be found on one of our beds, soundly snoozing away. It is the early morning and night hours, under the cover of darkness, that we worry about. So by adjusting the time we free her, we hope she will also adjust her pee/poo patterns.
So far so good. The neighbour has not complained in the past few days.
Yesterday the gardener also came and patched up his yard. The neighbour was a lot warmer and more conciliatory in his tone. We stood and made small talk in his yard while the gardener did the repair work. I was 'graciously' allowed in via the back gate! He even apologised for being "too harsh" on us and made jokes about "building a toilet" in his backyard for the cat. Since the gardener was there and had extra patches of grass, we instructed him to also patch up the areas which looked patchy but were not the cat's doing. I think the neighbour was pleased at our gesture.
I think it was just important to be seen as trying our best to solve the problem.
We will do what we can, eg adjusting the time we open up the house in the morning, buying a Cat Stop for the neighbour's garden, and keep making adjustments. I think the neighbour is aware that we are trying and I think he not unsympathetic. So for now, we have truce going on - hopefully it will last.
However we know that we are lucky this time to be able to find TL in time. We don't know where TL wanders and who knows, there might be a neighbour somewhere who might trap her and we would never even be the wiser. My aunt who lived in landed property and had outdoor cats too, told us that after a while, she became resigned to the fact that some cats would never come home - probably because they were trapped and sent away or killed by cat-hating neighbours.
My cat-loving friends also warned me about this - legally, these people have the right to trap cats if the cats go onto their property, hence it is best to keep her indoors - which both KH and I baulk at. We cannot shut up the whole house indefinitely. The very nature of our house makes this very hard. We have many large windows and the design of the house facilitates a lot of ventilation and wind. To keep the cat indoors would mean massive 'fencing' up of windows, installing screen doors etc at considerable expense and affecting the overall look and feel of the house. I would hate being 'fenced' in like this. For now, this is not on the table. We will try other ways first.
The story goes back two weeks or so when we discovered Tigerlily missing one morning. KH followed the sound of her mews and found her caged and trapped in a steel cage in the neighbour's garden. There was much sound and fury that morning as we pleaded with the irate neighbour to release TL.
The man refused to do so claiming that TL had come in and peed/pooed on his backyard, ruining his tiny patch pearl grass. We peered over and true enough, there were brown patches where the cat's 'acidic' pee had seeped through. We could not say for sure if it was TL but the guy was adamant. He was furious and triumphant that he had caught TL. At one point, he sputtered, "Do you know how expensive it was to try to catch your cat? I had fresh fish in that cage for one and a half months and your cat did not take the bait!" Secretly, I was so proud of TL to evade capture for so long.
He wanted to send the cat away and initially refused to listen to any of our suggestions. We offered to train the cat - he scoffed: "Think so easy ah? Its not possible to train the cat!" And so on it went until he exhausted his fury. Can you imagine the scene. Both KH and I peering over the neighbour's fence in the alley behind our house, the shouting (mostly done by the old man and a fair bit by KH who was shirtless and thus had his love handle firmly in my pincer grip to prevent him from losing it and yelling his head off which would certainly have made things worse), the number of eyes that must have been watching from the various houses nearby etc.
Well we were both frantic with worry that the neighbour would not release TL, but finally he did. He gave us an unreasonable deadline of one week to train the cat. Which we said was impossible. But as I reasoned with him, at least give us time and a chance to try and do something about the situation. We gave him our phone numbers so that he could call us if TL did the naughty again and we also offered to send a gardener to patch the 'holes' in his yard. He was finally mollified enough to release the cat to us.
That episode resulted in many emails to cat-loving friends and contacts to seek advice. That very day, we closed up the whole house and left TL inside - and us sweating it out in the enclosed heat. We dared not open any window/door in case she escaped. I went straight out to buy a big kitty litter for her. Back home, I dribbled some catnip in front of the litter to entice her. TL launched herself on the catnip like an addict to marijuana! Following that, she immediately sniffed the brand new litter, cautiously went in to check it out and promptly did a pee/poo job in there! The kids and I stood there and applauded!
But after two days of stuffiness in a closed-up house, we decided to let her loose in the day. After that, came two instances where we received calls from the neighbour and Lolita had to be sent behind to his home to pick up her poo. So we fine-tuned the strategy by keeping her in for a lot longer in the morning - instead of letting her out at 6am when the doors are opened, we seal up the house until 9am when its bright. We are hoping she would not do the poo/pee in the bright open day and would use her litter box before she went out. We're not too worried about the rest of the day because cats generally sleep 80% of the time and TL is no exception. In the day, she can mostly be found on one of our beds, soundly snoozing away. It is the early morning and night hours, under the cover of darkness, that we worry about. So by adjusting the time we free her, we hope she will also adjust her pee/poo patterns.
So far so good. The neighbour has not complained in the past few days.
Yesterday the gardener also came and patched up his yard. The neighbour was a lot warmer and more conciliatory in his tone. We stood and made small talk in his yard while the gardener did the repair work. I was 'graciously' allowed in via the back gate! He even apologised for being "too harsh" on us and made jokes about "building a toilet" in his backyard for the cat. Since the gardener was there and had extra patches of grass, we instructed him to also patch up the areas which looked patchy but were not the cat's doing. I think the neighbour was pleased at our gesture.
I think it was just important to be seen as trying our best to solve the problem.
We will do what we can, eg adjusting the time we open up the house in the morning, buying a Cat Stop for the neighbour's garden, and keep making adjustments. I think the neighbour is aware that we are trying and I think he not unsympathetic. So for now, we have truce going on - hopefully it will last.
However we know that we are lucky this time to be able to find TL in time. We don't know where TL wanders and who knows, there might be a neighbour somewhere who might trap her and we would never even be the wiser. My aunt who lived in landed property and had outdoor cats too, told us that after a while, she became resigned to the fact that some cats would never come home - probably because they were trapped and sent away or killed by cat-hating neighbours.
My cat-loving friends also warned me about this - legally, these people have the right to trap cats if the cats go onto their property, hence it is best to keep her indoors - which both KH and I baulk at. We cannot shut up the whole house indefinitely. The very nature of our house makes this very hard. We have many large windows and the design of the house facilitates a lot of ventilation and wind. To keep the cat indoors would mean massive 'fencing' up of windows, installing screen doors etc at considerable expense and affecting the overall look and feel of the house. I would hate being 'fenced' in like this. For now, this is not on the table. We will try other ways first.
On the hospital front, dad is doing much better. I think he can go home soon. I see this as a mixed blessing.
While we're glad he's well enough to go home, I feel sorry for my mom. Dad has regressed to infancy over the past few weeks. Tantrums, sulks and a general reluctance to do anything for himself. Poor mom has bent over backwards to visit him twice a day, cooking porridge and soups and trudging up and down the SGH hills to bring them to him for lunch and for dinner. She's there to feed him, wipe him, bring him to the toilet, encourage him to ambulate etc. She gets flak from him, tantrums, point-blank refusals to co-operate etc. She's worn out even though she puts on her usual tough "I-can-handle-it" veneer.
So yesterday I told her to stay home. I would handle his dinner. So with KH in tow, we headed for the hospital. Not to my surprise, dad behaved himself. He fed himself, went to the toilet instead of using a commode to relieve himself, and like a good boy, obediently sat in the arm chair for about 10 to 15min instead of constantly lying in bed. With great satisfaction, I reported this to my mom. I think he acts up because it is her and he presses all her buttons very easily. Plus she lets him!
Hopefully when he goes home, he will try to be more mobile and will co-operate with mom. I worry about the load on her once he gets home. Mom will be his private nurse 24/7. That can't be good for her. Will have to think of solutions when the time comes.
While we're glad he's well enough to go home, I feel sorry for my mom. Dad has regressed to infancy over the past few weeks. Tantrums, sulks and a general reluctance to do anything for himself. Poor mom has bent over backwards to visit him twice a day, cooking porridge and soups and trudging up and down the SGH hills to bring them to him for lunch and for dinner. She's there to feed him, wipe him, bring him to the toilet, encourage him to ambulate etc. She gets flak from him, tantrums, point-blank refusals to co-operate etc. She's worn out even though she puts on her usual tough "I-can-handle-it" veneer.
So yesterday I told her to stay home. I would handle his dinner. So with KH in tow, we headed for the hospital. Not to my surprise, dad behaved himself. He fed himself, went to the toilet instead of using a commode to relieve himself, and like a good boy, obediently sat in the arm chair for about 10 to 15min instead of constantly lying in bed. With great satisfaction, I reported this to my mom. I think he acts up because it is her and he presses all her buttons very easily. Plus she lets him!
Hopefully when he goes home, he will try to be more mobile and will co-operate with mom. I worry about the load on her once he gets home. Mom will be his private nurse 24/7. That can't be good for her. Will have to think of solutions when the time comes.
The Breastfeeding Crazy Lady strikes (BCL) again.
Was in NTUC last night grocery shopping when a woman approached me in the baby section. Going by accent alone, she seemed like a Chinese national.
"Excuse me miss, can you tell me which brand is better for newborns?" she asked, brandishing a can of formula and nodding towards the shelves.
"None," says the BCL promptly. "Breast is best."
"But there isn't enough breastmilk," she replied and then waves towards the shelves again. "Which brand is better?"
"None. They are all the same." I was going to add my usual rant and spiel about how these money-grubbing companies use inferior products, slap fancy marketing and artificial hormones and additives in their ever pathetic bids to mimic nature's food for babies, but sadly, I was hampered by the woefully teensy Chinese vocab I have.
"Really," I gave a last-ditch attempt. "You should try again at feeding breastmilk. It really is what babies need."
Whereupon she gave me the look others usually give the BCL and other assortment of crazies, blinked and turned away. How rude. Not even a thank you. Too bad. There goes 10 IQ points down the drain. I actually wanted to dig out my handphone and give her the nearest LC's number but the cold shoulder and frigid temperatures now emanating from her told me that it would not be wise.
Standing far enough to distance himself from any hint of relationship with the BCL, KH sniggered. This morning in the car, he asked me what last night's encounter was all about. So he got my pent-up earful of a BCL rant instead!
I thought about it. Was I really not helpful? In such a situation, would it not be more polite to just point in one direction instead of pushing the breastfeeding issue? Could the BCL not have opened her mouth? Or could she have said it differently? But in all good conscience, I really could not recommend any brand. I WAS telling the truth - none were good. I did not know of any brand of formula that was 'superior'.
Oh well, I guess to the general public, I really come across as a BCL. Difference is, I am a trained BCL! Haha. I know I didn't do it deliberately to press her buttons or to belittle her choices. I told the truth to the best of my knowledge. After reading so much about breastfeeding and formula over the years and in the course of my studies as a birth educator, I guess my knowledge of breastfeeding, breastmilk and formula runs deeper than the average Jane out there. Ironic then, that all this knowledge is just sharply distilled into one line and a two-minute encounter between the shelves of a supermarket.
Sigh. I really should brush up on my Chinese. Who knows when the BCL will get another opportunity to come forth?
Was in NTUC last night grocery shopping when a woman approached me in the baby section. Going by accent alone, she seemed like a Chinese national.
"Excuse me miss, can you tell me which brand is better for newborns?" she asked, brandishing a can of formula and nodding towards the shelves.
"None," says the BCL promptly. "Breast is best."
"But there isn't enough breastmilk," she replied and then waves towards the shelves again. "Which brand is better?"
"None. They are all the same." I was going to add my usual rant and spiel about how these money-grubbing companies use inferior products, slap fancy marketing and artificial hormones and additives in their ever pathetic bids to mimic nature's food for babies, but sadly, I was hampered by the woefully teensy Chinese vocab I have.
"Really," I gave a last-ditch attempt. "You should try again at feeding breastmilk. It really is what babies need."
Whereupon she gave me the look others usually give the BCL and other assortment of crazies, blinked and turned away. How rude. Not even a thank you. Too bad. There goes 10 IQ points down the drain. I actually wanted to dig out my handphone and give her the nearest LC's number but the cold shoulder and frigid temperatures now emanating from her told me that it would not be wise.
Standing far enough to distance himself from any hint of relationship with the BCL, KH sniggered. This morning in the car, he asked me what last night's encounter was all about. So he got my pent-up earful of a BCL rant instead!
I thought about it. Was I really not helpful? In such a situation, would it not be more polite to just point in one direction instead of pushing the breastfeeding issue? Could the BCL not have opened her mouth? Or could she have said it differently? But in all good conscience, I really could not recommend any brand. I WAS telling the truth - none were good. I did not know of any brand of formula that was 'superior'.
Oh well, I guess to the general public, I really come across as a BCL. Difference is, I am a trained BCL! Haha. I know I didn't do it deliberately to press her buttons or to belittle her choices. I told the truth to the best of my knowledge. After reading so much about breastfeeding and formula over the years and in the course of my studies as a birth educator, I guess my knowledge of breastfeeding, breastmilk and formula runs deeper than the average Jane out there. Ironic then, that all this knowledge is just sharply distilled into one line and a two-minute encounter between the shelves of a supermarket.
Sigh. I really should brush up on my Chinese. Who knows when the BCL will get another opportunity to come forth?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Pictures from Cait's dance fest at CHIJ Toa Payoh
fest.
This is Caitlin with her friends just before the performance. Daddy was going around taking pictures unlike the other parents who obediently sat in the audience.
No video because the' videographer' (aka Gillian!)had a bad case of the shakes so the video ended up very shaky and blur!
fest.This is Caitlin with her friends just before the performance. Daddy was going around taking pictures unlike the other parents who obediently sat in the audience.
No video because the' videographer' (aka Gillian!)had a bad case of the shakes so the video ended up very shaky and blur!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Updating on my love for all things Korean...
I've got some K-drama withdrawal symptoms. Finished watching Terroir with the dishy Kim Joo Hyuk as male lead. Yummy! I really like these strong/silent/'masterful' characters. Sadist that I am, I think he's drool-worthy even when he's being mean and nasty to his leading lady Han Hye Jin - whom I didn't really like. Terroir was not bad - although, for something that cost US$6mil to produce though, its low ratings proved to be a real disappointment. Still, I enjoyed the scenes of the lovely French chateaus and countryside. Never was a fan of wine since half a glass will leave me red in the face and slurry already, but this series did perk up my interest.
Now that its over and the OST is downloaded and on permanent repeat in my Zen, I'm chaffing at the bit and wondering what's next. Terroir debuted in Korea late last year, or early this year but it took them this long to get the dvds out here! Looking at TS and Poh Kim, I wonder why they do not move faster to bring in K-dramas earlier and expand their range wider. The answer to that, someone told me, is that only a country bumpkin like me would still watch K-dramas on DVDs. The rest of the civilised world, I was told, has moved on to watch anything and everything under the sun on the internet via highspeed broadband connections!
So I tried hopping to Mysoju once in a while when the urge to catch up with hit K-dramas like City Hall or My Fair Lady hit me. But I have to say that watching dramas in 15min interrupted spurts is really exasperating at the best of times. Plus there are links that might not work and the small screen size really puts me off.
To ease my withdrawal symptoms - general restlessness, insomnia and OD-ing on the dramabeans blog - I am re-watching Delightful Girl Chun Hyang which was what got me hooked on the K-bandwagon in the first place. Happy to say that I still love it! And my expanded Korean vocab (thanks to my songsenim in Korean class!) helps me understand and appreciate it even more. Even K-pop is becoming a bit clearer to me now. Like jigsaws, the bare minimum I have in terms of vocab is helping me piece together a bit more of the picture but there's still much more to learn. Still I am happier with the tiny bits of revelation I get these days when it dawns on me with eureka moments - "Hey, I think I know what she's singing about - ka jok means family! Something about family! Yay!"
I've finished Korean stage 1 already but don't know if I should go for stage 2 since the Japan trip is coming up and I'm likely to miss at least 3 lessons already like this.
Korean stage 1 was interesting. We are taught formal Korean (songsenim says a foundation of formal Korean makes it easier to learn banmal later on) and I can now read and speak simple sentences. VERY simple sentences! Gillian usually hogs my notes when I come back from a class so she's also learning and we do trade simple - VERY simple! - sentences once in a while. In the long run, I think I am likely to take Korean further than the dabbling I've done in other languages like French (never moved beyond stage 1 elementary french) and Italian or Japanese.
Hopefully one day I'll be able to watch a full K-drama without any subtitles!
I've got some K-drama withdrawal symptoms. Finished watching Terroir with the dishy Kim Joo Hyuk as male lead. Yummy! I really like these strong/silent/'masterful' characters. Sadist that I am, I think he's drool-worthy even when he's being mean and nasty to his leading lady Han Hye Jin - whom I didn't really like. Terroir was not bad - although, for something that cost US$6mil to produce though, its low ratings proved to be a real disappointment. Still, I enjoyed the scenes of the lovely French chateaus and countryside. Never was a fan of wine since half a glass will leave me red in the face and slurry already, but this series did perk up my interest.
Now that its over and the OST is downloaded and on permanent repeat in my Zen, I'm chaffing at the bit and wondering what's next. Terroir debuted in Korea late last year, or early this year but it took them this long to get the dvds out here! Looking at TS and Poh Kim, I wonder why they do not move faster to bring in K-dramas earlier and expand their range wider. The answer to that, someone told me, is that only a country bumpkin like me would still watch K-dramas on DVDs. The rest of the civilised world, I was told, has moved on to watch anything and everything under the sun on the internet via highspeed broadband connections!
So I tried hopping to Mysoju once in a while when the urge to catch up with hit K-dramas like City Hall or My Fair Lady hit me. But I have to say that watching dramas in 15min interrupted spurts is really exasperating at the best of times. Plus there are links that might not work and the small screen size really puts me off.
To ease my withdrawal symptoms - general restlessness, insomnia and OD-ing on the dramabeans blog - I am re-watching Delightful Girl Chun Hyang which was what got me hooked on the K-bandwagon in the first place. Happy to say that I still love it! And my expanded Korean vocab (thanks to my songsenim in Korean class!) helps me understand and appreciate it even more. Even K-pop is becoming a bit clearer to me now. Like jigsaws, the bare minimum I have in terms of vocab is helping me piece together a bit more of the picture but there's still much more to learn. Still I am happier with the tiny bits of revelation I get these days when it dawns on me with eureka moments - "Hey, I think I know what she's singing about - ka jok means family! Something about family! Yay!"
I've finished Korean stage 1 already but don't know if I should go for stage 2 since the Japan trip is coming up and I'm likely to miss at least 3 lessons already like this.
Korean stage 1 was interesting. We are taught formal Korean (songsenim says a foundation of formal Korean makes it easier to learn banmal later on) and I can now read and speak simple sentences. VERY simple sentences! Gillian usually hogs my notes when I come back from a class so she's also learning and we do trade simple - VERY simple! - sentences once in a while. In the long run, I think I am likely to take Korean further than the dabbling I've done in other languages like French (never moved beyond stage 1 elementary french) and Italian or Japanese.
Hopefully one day I'll be able to watch a full K-drama without any subtitles!
Cait called me in the office yesterday. A bit shyly, she told me that she got her results from the UNSW International Competitions and Assessments for Schools. A month or so ago, she was shortlisted to take part in the UNSW ICAS Writing test. Yesterday the results came.
Cait got a Distinction! She is in the top 3% of the Singaporean cohort of P2 kids who took the test.
We were equally thrilled and shared her joy. KH and I are very proud of her. Sushi was our dinner treat to celebrate - just her, KH and I.
Today will see another milestone in the year - the CHIJ Dance Fest Viva Spiritus. P2 girls will put up dance performances for their parents. Cait has been very vague about the performance but we know that it is a Broadway number and the song is New York, New York. Complete with top hat - very Liza Minnelli! As was the case last year, she's told us that she's one of the five 'lead' dancers in the front. Having seen what she could do last year, KH and I are both looking forward to seeing her perform later.
Cait got a Distinction! She is in the top 3% of the Singaporean cohort of P2 kids who took the test.
We were equally thrilled and shared her joy. KH and I are very proud of her. Sushi was our dinner treat to celebrate - just her, KH and I.
Today will see another milestone in the year - the CHIJ Dance Fest Viva Spiritus. P2 girls will put up dance performances for their parents. Cait has been very vague about the performance but we know that it is a Broadway number and the song is New York, New York. Complete with top hat - very Liza Minnelli! As was the case last year, she's told us that she's one of the five 'lead' dancers in the front. Having seen what she could do last year, KH and I are both looking forward to seeing her perform later.
We're marking the second week that dad is in the hospital. He is out of the high dependency ward now and has had his tubes and lines taken out. He is more or less pain-free and is able to eat and drink lightly. His output has gone up significantly and his creatinine levels have come down. He has even taken a bath!
We're happy with whatever progress we can get but he is not out of the woods yet, not by a long shot. It really looks to me like we're taking one step forward and two steps back. While he is no longer in High Dependency, his recovery is extremely slow. His stomach remains bloated and the bloat has gone to his arms and hands so much that it is hard to even find a vein these days.
Another scan two days ago showed that his pancreatic situation has worsened than when he was admitted. There is a lot of fluid accumulation and parts of the pancreas are now showing signs of necrosis. His air entry into his lower lungs is also poor and they look like they are on the verge of collapse. He is now running a fever and coughing, all not good signs for his lungs. We worry about both the necrosis in the pancreas and the likelihood of pneumonia as exacerbating factor.
The docs have given him a PICC line because they can't find a vein anywhere else thanks to the bloat! He has to be given intravenous antiobiotics thrice a day to help stem infection in the pancreas. He has to ambulate, move around, sit out of bed etc to improve air entry into the lungs. But our friend is very stubbon, highly recalcitrant and would not, flatly refuses to do all this. We do understand why - he looks extremely tired and even that bath that day exhausted him so much he broke out in cold sweat from the effort. But its really a Catch 22 situation we're facing here.
Thanks to the second CT scan the dye, we're back to again scrutinising pee output and creatinine levels, hoping the kidneys would be able to withstand the insult from the dye. Thus far, he is peeing but output has again dwindled.
Two days ago when I visited him, he asked me to get Coke Zero for him! "Dad," I told him in exasperation, "even if YOU don't care, I don't want my head chopped by the doctors you know!"
Pursed his lips, sighed, looked upwards and basically just pressed all my guilt buttons. Finally I said I'd take a look at the ward vending machine. Nada. Triumphantly I told him they don't sell Coke Zero in the ward! But he looked so resigned and disappointed that I said I'd get him some the next day I came, but I would be the one to regulate how much he drank.
Next day I came, I brandished the Coke happily and poured out a smidgen for him. He was happy to just have that sip. And while I know Coke is not the best thing for him now, it is what he wants and one or two sips should not make a difference. Not when the man is already quaffing down cups of teh-O! Also, to be honest, I really don't know what's going to happen with dad. I don't know if he will get better or if he will leave us. It could go either way at this point. But I figure that one or two sips won't kill (there's enough going on inside him that will do that easily enough!) but if it is what he wants, and it makes him happy, why not? Maybe that is really what is important right now. Depressing thought though it may be, it might be one of the last few things that I might do for him. And morbid though it is, I think I do understand where dad is coming from. Life is short and at this point, it looks shorter than it ever has, so if I were in dad's shoes, I would also want to be comfortable and do the little things that make me happy - like having an illicit sip or two of Coke.
We're happy with whatever progress we can get but he is not out of the woods yet, not by a long shot. It really looks to me like we're taking one step forward and two steps back. While he is no longer in High Dependency, his recovery is extremely slow. His stomach remains bloated and the bloat has gone to his arms and hands so much that it is hard to even find a vein these days.
Another scan two days ago showed that his pancreatic situation has worsened than when he was admitted. There is a lot of fluid accumulation and parts of the pancreas are now showing signs of necrosis. His air entry into his lower lungs is also poor and they look like they are on the verge of collapse. He is now running a fever and coughing, all not good signs for his lungs. We worry about both the necrosis in the pancreas and the likelihood of pneumonia as exacerbating factor.
The docs have given him a PICC line because they can't find a vein anywhere else thanks to the bloat! He has to be given intravenous antiobiotics thrice a day to help stem infection in the pancreas. He has to ambulate, move around, sit out of bed etc to improve air entry into the lungs. But our friend is very stubbon, highly recalcitrant and would not, flatly refuses to do all this. We do understand why - he looks extremely tired and even that bath that day exhausted him so much he broke out in cold sweat from the effort. But its really a Catch 22 situation we're facing here.
Thanks to the second CT scan the dye, we're back to again scrutinising pee output and creatinine levels, hoping the kidneys would be able to withstand the insult from the dye. Thus far, he is peeing but output has again dwindled.
Two days ago when I visited him, he asked me to get Coke Zero for him! "Dad," I told him in exasperation, "even if YOU don't care, I don't want my head chopped by the doctors you know!"
Pursed his lips, sighed, looked upwards and basically just pressed all my guilt buttons. Finally I said I'd take a look at the ward vending machine. Nada. Triumphantly I told him they don't sell Coke Zero in the ward! But he looked so resigned and disappointed that I said I'd get him some the next day I came, but I would be the one to regulate how much he drank.
Next day I came, I brandished the Coke happily and poured out a smidgen for him. He was happy to just have that sip. And while I know Coke is not the best thing for him now, it is what he wants and one or two sips should not make a difference. Not when the man is already quaffing down cups of teh-O! Also, to be honest, I really don't know what's going to happen with dad. I don't know if he will get better or if he will leave us. It could go either way at this point. But I figure that one or two sips won't kill (there's enough going on inside him that will do that easily enough!) but if it is what he wants, and it makes him happy, why not? Maybe that is really what is important right now. Depressing thought though it may be, it might be one of the last few things that I might do for him. And morbid though it is, I think I do understand where dad is coming from. Life is short and at this point, it looks shorter than it ever has, so if I were in dad's shoes, I would also want to be comfortable and do the little things that make me happy - like having an illicit sip or two of Coke.
Monday, September 14, 2009
I've been giving Owain pocket money since about a week ago. 50 cents a day. I thought it would help him learn a bit more about money, managing this small amount. He could either save it or use it to buy snacks and 'ice pops' from the nearby minimart.
Since then, he has been badgering me daily for his allowance. To the point that it gets really annoying sometimes. Case in point: I was in the car this morning on the way to work. Its 8am and our friend calls me on the phone. Still sounding sleepy from sleep, he goes: mummy, 50 cents.
That's not the worst. Sometimes he asks for 'advances' so that he can go buy 'yoghurt drink' which costs about a dollar. When I say no, he pesters and whines. Also, he's taken to 'betting' with me when I'm playing computer games. He'll wander past the PC and say: Mum, I bet you $1 you won't get past this round! Not the best thing to say to someone who's already gritting teeth, wild-eyed and frantically clicking away to clear a round. And he says this when its really clear I AM not going to make it past the round!
I've explained to him about saving and trying to persuade him to save but the advice has largely fallen on deaf ears. Instant gratification wins hands down. To incentivise it further, I offered 'interest', better than any bank can offer today - 20 cents for every dollar saved. But even that does not attract him.
He's quite savvy with money, able to add, subtract easily. We play Earthopoly and he's got no problems buying, selling properties, counting out his money accurately etc.
KH is thrilled that his son has dollar signs for eyes. He's always egging his sons on to be entrepreneurial but Isaac has turned out to be the risk-averse, kiasu bookworm, disappointing in the risk/entrepreneurial department but Owain has shown signs of promise. He's been that way since he was 4. I still remember that afternoon in Osaka two years ago when our little friend was busy picking up 'berries' from the ground with the intent to sell them back in Singapore because we don't have these berries in Singapore. When I teasingly pointed out that he won't be able to make any more money once his stocks run out, he said we'd just have to bring back the berries to grow them then!
And one more incident (unrelated) to share about Owain: I was having a tense moment during a game of Zuma when he came over and asked me to play Earthopoly with him. Distractedly, I asked: why would I want to do that when I can play Zuma right here. He said, very indignantly," Because I am YOUR son!!!"
That got my attention alright and we played earthopoly when I finally managed to stop laughing.
Since then, he has been badgering me daily for his allowance. To the point that it gets really annoying sometimes. Case in point: I was in the car this morning on the way to work. Its 8am and our friend calls me on the phone. Still sounding sleepy from sleep, he goes: mummy, 50 cents.
That's not the worst. Sometimes he asks for 'advances' so that he can go buy 'yoghurt drink' which costs about a dollar. When I say no, he pesters and whines. Also, he's taken to 'betting' with me when I'm playing computer games. He'll wander past the PC and say: Mum, I bet you $1 you won't get past this round! Not the best thing to say to someone who's already gritting teeth, wild-eyed and frantically clicking away to clear a round. And he says this when its really clear I AM not going to make it past the round!
I've explained to him about saving and trying to persuade him to save but the advice has largely fallen on deaf ears. Instant gratification wins hands down. To incentivise it further, I offered 'interest', better than any bank can offer today - 20 cents for every dollar saved. But even that does not attract him.
He's quite savvy with money, able to add, subtract easily. We play Earthopoly and he's got no problems buying, selling properties, counting out his money accurately etc.
KH is thrilled that his son has dollar signs for eyes. He's always egging his sons on to be entrepreneurial but Isaac has turned out to be the risk-averse, kiasu bookworm, disappointing in the risk/entrepreneurial department but Owain has shown signs of promise. He's been that way since he was 4. I still remember that afternoon in Osaka two years ago when our little friend was busy picking up 'berries' from the ground with the intent to sell them back in Singapore because we don't have these berries in Singapore. When I teasingly pointed out that he won't be able to make any more money once his stocks run out, he said we'd just have to bring back the berries to grow them then!
And one more incident (unrelated) to share about Owain: I was having a tense moment during a game of Zuma when he came over and asked me to play Earthopoly with him. Distractedly, I asked: why would I want to do that when I can play Zuma right here. He said, very indignantly," Because I am YOUR son!!!"
That got my attention alright and we played earthopoly when I finally managed to stop laughing.
Monday, September 07, 2009
Taking a break from the hospital updates, I just want to say that I was thrilled to find new sources of my favourite gourmet ham and sausages aside from the usual gourmet supermarkets.
Deep in the heart of Jurong factoryland, there are two factories or wholesalers selling imported foodstuff at prices which are about 30 to 40% lower than supermarket prices. In QB Foods, a packet of bratwursts cost $7.50. I found the same packet selling for $11.50 at Cold Storage. Parma ham, one of my favourite indulgences, was going at $7.50 for 100gms. In Cold Storage, this was going for $9.43 per 100gms. So needless to say, I bought loads of sausages - cheese sausages, brats, gourmet organic sausages, hashbrowns, french fries, chicken nuggets - yummy!
Across the road, there is another wholesaler/factory that sells ham and sausages at low prices. My porridge brains desert me now and I can't remember the name of the place. But its directly opposite QB Foods. From the outside, it does not look like much and in fact, you would not know that you could buy direct from them. But on a hunch, I approached some workers and they told me to go up to the office. They have a list of stuff you can choose from.
So I bought a 550gm slab of champagne pate at $9.50 or something like that. In Cold Storage, the same pate was going for $4.60 or so per 100gms. I also bought sliced shoulder ham, 500gms for $5.00 and cocktail cheese sausages and shaved champagne ham. All for prices lower than the supermarket's.
I'm sure there are more of these factory outlets retailing food at lower, wholesale prices in the vicinity. I tried asking at the Meiji factory but was turned away at the gate by guards. We'll probably have to cruise the area and check it out one by one, grow a thick skin and ask at security posts if they "sell anything"!
Deep in the heart of Jurong factoryland, there are two factories or wholesalers selling imported foodstuff at prices which are about 30 to 40% lower than supermarket prices. In QB Foods, a packet of bratwursts cost $7.50. I found the same packet selling for $11.50 at Cold Storage. Parma ham, one of my favourite indulgences, was going at $7.50 for 100gms. In Cold Storage, this was going for $9.43 per 100gms. So needless to say, I bought loads of sausages - cheese sausages, brats, gourmet organic sausages, hashbrowns, french fries, chicken nuggets - yummy!
Across the road, there is another wholesaler/factory that sells ham and sausages at low prices. My porridge brains desert me now and I can't remember the name of the place. But its directly opposite QB Foods. From the outside, it does not look like much and in fact, you would not know that you could buy direct from them. But on a hunch, I approached some workers and they told me to go up to the office. They have a list of stuff you can choose from.
So I bought a 550gm slab of champagne pate at $9.50 or something like that. In Cold Storage, the same pate was going for $4.60 or so per 100gms. I also bought sliced shoulder ham, 500gms for $5.00 and cocktail cheese sausages and shaved champagne ham. All for prices lower than the supermarket's.
I'm sure there are more of these factory outlets retailing food at lower, wholesale prices in the vicinity. I tried asking at the Meiji factory but was turned away at the gate by guards. We'll probably have to cruise the area and check it out one by one, grow a thick skin and ask at security posts if they "sell anything"!
Dad is still in the hospital on the DI List. Things are looking a bit better but its always a bit of a see-saw - creatinine levels go down and that's a good sign, but then calcium levels drop and that's worrying. Doctors are busy tweaking away.
Yesterday he took his meds like a good boy when I gave it to him, in contrast to the day before when he pursed his lips defiantly and gave us baleful looks. The pain seems to be a bit better controlled now that he's back under 24-hour morphine. The dose is super-low and he still complains of back pain though. He seems frustrated and who wouldn't be? Says he wants to go home. Or failing which, a hotel - heh, they've got better beds, he says. He still needs his backrubs and sleep is still elusive, so he has to get some help at night or he would be very restless. I feel sorry for the nurses - the guy keeps wanting to get out of bed. Or he's asking for The Pot every couple of hours - to get the nurses' attention, he puts his hand up as if in class! Nothing but gas comes out when he tries to poo but he still keeps asking. The other day he asked mom and I to shift him - he wanted to sleep at the foot of the bed! With all the tubes and wires running out of him!
His roomies in the Intermediate Care area have come and gone and he's the veteran tenant there at the moment. Its not the best place to rest since patients are moved in and out, monitors are beeping incessantly (and loudly!), patients are groaning, shifts change, nurses hand over reports, doctors move in and out and they talk to their patients as if they are hard of hearing (why DO doctors love to do this? They're ill, not deaf - someone should tell these doctors) and so on. The place can be busier and noisier than Orchard MRT station at lunch.
Overall, I think our mood has lightened. Dad is not out of the woods, far from it. But I think we feel more optimistic these days.
Yesterday he took his meds like a good boy when I gave it to him, in contrast to the day before when he pursed his lips defiantly and gave us baleful looks. The pain seems to be a bit better controlled now that he's back under 24-hour morphine. The dose is super-low and he still complains of back pain though. He seems frustrated and who wouldn't be? Says he wants to go home. Or failing which, a hotel - heh, they've got better beds, he says. He still needs his backrubs and sleep is still elusive, so he has to get some help at night or he would be very restless. I feel sorry for the nurses - the guy keeps wanting to get out of bed. Or he's asking for The Pot every couple of hours - to get the nurses' attention, he puts his hand up as if in class! Nothing but gas comes out when he tries to poo but he still keeps asking. The other day he asked mom and I to shift him - he wanted to sleep at the foot of the bed! With all the tubes and wires running out of him!
His roomies in the Intermediate Care area have come and gone and he's the veteran tenant there at the moment. Its not the best place to rest since patients are moved in and out, monitors are beeping incessantly (and loudly!), patients are groaning, shifts change, nurses hand over reports, doctors move in and out and they talk to their patients as if they are hard of hearing (why DO doctors love to do this? They're ill, not deaf - someone should tell these doctors) and so on. The place can be busier and noisier than Orchard MRT station at lunch.
Overall, I think our mood has lightened. Dad is not out of the woods, far from it. But I think we feel more optimistic these days.
Friday, September 04, 2009
Dad's still not looking very good. We're all keeping fingers crossed. Doctors are doing all they can but are really busy putting out the fires here and there.
He's now transferred to the Intermediate Care area, a step down from ICU. Hoping they won't have to bring him down to ICU. His kidneys are not looking pretty at the moment and seem to be on strike. Honestly, the pancreatitis may have been the trigger but all the underlying stuff are just making the situation worse.
Yesterday I brought Gillian to see him. She just stood there and softly called him. I told her to take off her mask so he can see her. And you know, he just smiled the biggest smile I've seen since he got into hospital. She's his favourite. Ever since we camped with mom and dad while house-hunting 10 years ago and even before that, when we would make the daily circuit to drop her at mom's place and pick her up at the end of the day, dad was always so in love with her. He would bring her for walks round the neighbourhood in the stroller, carry her, swing her, play with her and in the later years when I got cranky with her, dad always stepped in to defend her.
When it came to her PSLE, he tried tutoring her (which brought back memories for me!) and although the methods have changed and Gillian is a worse goondu at maths than me, he tried his best to be patient. Probably he was more patient with her than he ever was with me! I still remember him chain-smoking through my P6 year at the dinner table drilling me in maths. Maths was never my strong point and these sessions must have stressed him as much as it did me! He used to scold me loudly: You gorblock! Well he gave up tutoring Gillian and we got her Aunty Diane to do this instead. But to me, it was his effort that counted and we really appreciated it.
Just before he was admitted to hospital, he had taken the train alone to Chinatown to buy a phone for her. Just because Isaac had one, he said she needed to have one too. So off he went to get one with all the bells and whistles for her. Mom told him to give it to her only after her exams or it will distract her from studying. But then the next day he collapsed.
You know, I am not very close to dad - and this probably stemmed all the way from when I was a kid. When I was young, I remember he always came home late, slept in on Sundays and so on. He loved his chess, billiards, bowling and while he signed report books, picked me up from my teen parties at midnight and gave the occasional thrashing, he was just... dad. We never really talked and I had remnants of fear and awe of him.
Haha, but I did get an A for Maths. Probably the first and last time I ever did!
In all honesty, I think he was a far better grandad than he was a dad - but I love him for this. I love him for loving all my children and taking such good care of them, patiently ferrying them here and there, buying them forbidden fruit, defending them when I rant and rave...
So yesterday, coming home from the hospital in the late afternoon after spending the whole morning there, I took a cab home. Could not face taking the shuttle service, the MRT and then trudging home. I was too tired. Funny how emotional fatigue can translate into physical fatigue! So I took a cab home. And in the cab, my tears just started to come. I could not stop them. My ducts had a life of their own and it just flowed. I scolded myself: hey, he's not gone yet you know! But bloody ducts just kept the tap turned on.
When I got home, the kids of course spotted my puffy eyes and started teasing me about it. Which made me wonder tiredly - why are kids sometimes so cruel and insensitive? They don't mean to be hurtful but this is their grandfather who is so sick. Don't they have any compassion? Don't they feel anything?
I sat down and yes, I cried in front of my children. They watched with fascinated horror. I didn't mean to do it but I guess I was still over-wrought from the cab ride. I explained to them why I was sad and reminded them how much granddad loved them all and how much he had done for them. And then Gillian teared up. And Caitlin too. Girls seemed to be more emo than the boys who just listened stoically.
So last night, when I went back to the hospital, Gillian came with me and KH. She barely spent five minutes with dad, so nervous about seeing all the tubes, monitors etc. KH gave dad a backrub, which I thought was so sweet of him since dad and he were never close and always had that gruff patina to their relationship.
I don't know if it is the sight of Gillian or not, but dad perked up. Enough to insist to the nurses that he wanted a drink and he wanted it NOW. He seemed more lucid and clear-minded than in previous days when he just drowsed in bed. When I left for the night, his output looked better than it had previously and he said he had no pain.
I was happy he had no pain since the doctors had removed the 24-hr morphine drip and are withholding pain meds. I know why the docs did that - they did not want to compound the problem with the kidneys by adding more and more drugs when his output was already so low. Meant that the drugs would just accumulate in him and with pethidine (yes he was given pethidine!) the risk of respiratory distress would be present. Yes, how well I know the risks of Pethidine. And ditto morphine too. But I really worried that dad would be in pain. I just wanted him kept comfortable. No matter the outcome, please don't let him be in pain. But it looked like this was not to be.
Early this morning, the doctors seemed pleased with the increase output and plans to hemodialyse in ICU are on hold for now, contingent upon his creatinine results. Phew! Fingers crossed that he does not have to do that. So everytime I pee these days, I pee 'for' dad and send God the thought - let the same amount come out from dad! LOL!
Okay summary of treatment thus far in short - yesterday they started a central line in the jugular (neck) and they also started an arterial line in his left hand. Hence the move up to Intermediate Care which was more able to do such monitoring. Until last night and this morning, his urine output remained poor despite the litres of fluid being pumped in. At one point, docs told us they had pumped in 4litres and only 1 litre was coming out! To get the water out of him, they are giving lasix to help him pee. He still looks very bloated and lots of water retention now seen in his face and arms, hands as well. But this morning docs reported that they are pleased becos he seems a tad less bloated today than yesterday.
The pain meds are off for now and dad seems uncomfortable this morning. But docs have stood firm on their reasons and will only give small boluses of Pethidine - 25mg (this morning, a teeny bit of morphine).
All other vital signs remain stable - BP stable, oxygen saturation also stable. We're only waiting for his bloodwork results to come back to see creatinine levels. Hopefully calcium levels (which were lowish yesterday) would have come up. Still no food and drink allowed, only sips of water and boy are the dragons in the ward super-strict and miserable with the amount they give! I know I know... good reasons why they are holding back. But I feel so sorry for poor dad whenever he asks for water. Seems so inhumane to withhold even water.
We are all hanging in there - thanks so much to some of you who wrote, left comments or called me. Writing about this helps me feel better and put things in perspective. Mom was a bit disapproving about all this going on my blog but to me, it helps me deal with it.
He's now transferred to the Intermediate Care area, a step down from ICU. Hoping they won't have to bring him down to ICU. His kidneys are not looking pretty at the moment and seem to be on strike. Honestly, the pancreatitis may have been the trigger but all the underlying stuff are just making the situation worse.
Yesterday I brought Gillian to see him. She just stood there and softly called him. I told her to take off her mask so he can see her. And you know, he just smiled the biggest smile I've seen since he got into hospital. She's his favourite. Ever since we camped with mom and dad while house-hunting 10 years ago and even before that, when we would make the daily circuit to drop her at mom's place and pick her up at the end of the day, dad was always so in love with her. He would bring her for walks round the neighbourhood in the stroller, carry her, swing her, play with her and in the later years when I got cranky with her, dad always stepped in to defend her.
When it came to her PSLE, he tried tutoring her (which brought back memories for me!) and although the methods have changed and Gillian is a worse goondu at maths than me, he tried his best to be patient. Probably he was more patient with her than he ever was with me! I still remember him chain-smoking through my P6 year at the dinner table drilling me in maths. Maths was never my strong point and these sessions must have stressed him as much as it did me! He used to scold me loudly: You gorblock! Well he gave up tutoring Gillian and we got her Aunty Diane to do this instead. But to me, it was his effort that counted and we really appreciated it.
Just before he was admitted to hospital, he had taken the train alone to Chinatown to buy a phone for her. Just because Isaac had one, he said she needed to have one too. So off he went to get one with all the bells and whistles for her. Mom told him to give it to her only after her exams or it will distract her from studying. But then the next day he collapsed.
You know, I am not very close to dad - and this probably stemmed all the way from when I was a kid. When I was young, I remember he always came home late, slept in on Sundays and so on. He loved his chess, billiards, bowling and while he signed report books, picked me up from my teen parties at midnight and gave the occasional thrashing, he was just... dad. We never really talked and I had remnants of fear and awe of him.
Haha, but I did get an A for Maths. Probably the first and last time I ever did!
In all honesty, I think he was a far better grandad than he was a dad - but I love him for this. I love him for loving all my children and taking such good care of them, patiently ferrying them here and there, buying them forbidden fruit, defending them when I rant and rave...
So yesterday, coming home from the hospital in the late afternoon after spending the whole morning there, I took a cab home. Could not face taking the shuttle service, the MRT and then trudging home. I was too tired. Funny how emotional fatigue can translate into physical fatigue! So I took a cab home. And in the cab, my tears just started to come. I could not stop them. My ducts had a life of their own and it just flowed. I scolded myself: hey, he's not gone yet you know! But bloody ducts just kept the tap turned on.
When I got home, the kids of course spotted my puffy eyes and started teasing me about it. Which made me wonder tiredly - why are kids sometimes so cruel and insensitive? They don't mean to be hurtful but this is their grandfather who is so sick. Don't they have any compassion? Don't they feel anything?
I sat down and yes, I cried in front of my children. They watched with fascinated horror. I didn't mean to do it but I guess I was still over-wrought from the cab ride. I explained to them why I was sad and reminded them how much granddad loved them all and how much he had done for them. And then Gillian teared up. And Caitlin too. Girls seemed to be more emo than the boys who just listened stoically.
So last night, when I went back to the hospital, Gillian came with me and KH. She barely spent five minutes with dad, so nervous about seeing all the tubes, monitors etc. KH gave dad a backrub, which I thought was so sweet of him since dad and he were never close and always had that gruff patina to their relationship.
I don't know if it is the sight of Gillian or not, but dad perked up. Enough to insist to the nurses that he wanted a drink and he wanted it NOW. He seemed more lucid and clear-minded than in previous days when he just drowsed in bed. When I left for the night, his output looked better than it had previously and he said he had no pain.
I was happy he had no pain since the doctors had removed the 24-hr morphine drip and are withholding pain meds. I know why the docs did that - they did not want to compound the problem with the kidneys by adding more and more drugs when his output was already so low. Meant that the drugs would just accumulate in him and with pethidine (yes he was given pethidine!) the risk of respiratory distress would be present. Yes, how well I know the risks of Pethidine. And ditto morphine too. But I really worried that dad would be in pain. I just wanted him kept comfortable. No matter the outcome, please don't let him be in pain. But it looked like this was not to be.
Early this morning, the doctors seemed pleased with the increase output and plans to hemodialyse in ICU are on hold for now, contingent upon his creatinine results. Phew! Fingers crossed that he does not have to do that. So everytime I pee these days, I pee 'for' dad and send God the thought - let the same amount come out from dad! LOL!
Okay summary of treatment thus far in short - yesterday they started a central line in the jugular (neck) and they also started an arterial line in his left hand. Hence the move up to Intermediate Care which was more able to do such monitoring. Until last night and this morning, his urine output remained poor despite the litres of fluid being pumped in. At one point, docs told us they had pumped in 4litres and only 1 litre was coming out! To get the water out of him, they are giving lasix to help him pee. He still looks very bloated and lots of water retention now seen in his face and arms, hands as well. But this morning docs reported that they are pleased becos he seems a tad less bloated today than yesterday.
The pain meds are off for now and dad seems uncomfortable this morning. But docs have stood firm on their reasons and will only give small boluses of Pethidine - 25mg (this morning, a teeny bit of morphine).
All other vital signs remain stable - BP stable, oxygen saturation also stable. We're only waiting for his bloodwork results to come back to see creatinine levels. Hopefully calcium levels (which were lowish yesterday) would have come up. Still no food and drink allowed, only sips of water and boy are the dragons in the ward super-strict and miserable with the amount they give! I know I know... good reasons why they are holding back. But I feel so sorry for poor dad whenever he asks for water. Seems so inhumane to withhold even water.
We are all hanging in there - thanks so much to some of you who wrote, left comments or called me. Writing about this helps me feel better and put things in perspective. Mom was a bit disapproving about all this going on my blog but to me, it helps me deal with it.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Yesterday afternoon I got a call from mom which began ominously: "I don't want you to worry but..."
Turns out that dad collapsed at home with severe abdominal pain and vomitting. Mom had to get an ambulance to get him to the hospital. As usual, the man was resisting the hospital but mom said he looked really bad so against his insistence that he can take the pain, mom sent him in.
I cleared my work and went to the hospital to be with mom. There was probably nothing I could do for him, but I didn't mom to wait alone in the hospital for hours.
By evening, they had transferred him to the High Dependency Ward. At 7pm the doctors came out and took us aside.
Dad is diagnosed with acute severe pancreatitis. In layman's terms, it just means that his pancreas is badly inflamed. Usually someone with a history of alcohol drinking or gallstone disease would be predisposed to this. In dad's case, he does not drink so we have narrowed this down to gallstones. Early scans however, showed no gallstone blockage.
The picture is not very pretty at the moment. Dad has elevated potassium levels, signalling that his heart is not doing very well. His blood pressure is also high at 160/100. Significantly, the doctor has said his kidneys are in a state of advanced impairment. The kidney specialist has been called in and dad may face long-term dialysis if he ever gets out of this one.
In short, the doctors have put him on the dangerously ill list. There is nothing they can do with pancreatitis except to rest the pancreas so no food and drink allowed, and lots of IV fluids given intravenously. Antibiotics are also given, although I have read that this is controversial and not all antibiotic-use have been proven effective although about 3 out of 5 studies have said this has been linked with better outcomes. More importantly, they are keeping him as comfortable as possible since he was in a great deal of pain. Morphine is out so they are using Pethidine with Maxalon - Pethidine to sedate and Maxalon to counter nausea and vomiting which are associated with Pethidine.
It must be Japan.
The last time we planned a trip to Japan, dad had the emergency bypass on the eve of our departure, literally leaving me strung up by my toenails in agony trying to make a decision of whether to stay or go. We went and thankfully, that episode resolved itself well.
Now, this. I feel like this is deja vu all over again. No doubt this time the trip is months away. But I feel the same sense of unease, doubt and worry. What will happen to him? And what will happen to mom if anything happens to dad? While mom sometimes snarks about dad and grimly declares she wishes she didn't have to worry about him or take care of him etc, it is always done with the familiarity of long-time married couples. When one couple has been together for so many years and shared so much history, that bond is inevitable. Whether that bond is made from love, comfort, companionship or just familiarity or even pragmatism, that does not matter. If anything happens to dad, what will happen to mom? I worry about her. She will miss him tremendously.
I will miss him too but it is different for me. I have my own family and my own journey. And in my life, maybe I am at the midway stations. But for mom, with the passing of her parents and perhaps now, if dad goes, that's like an era quietly faded to white. Like footprints that are obliterated by fresh falling snow so that you no longer can really re-trace your steps anymore.
Everything will eventually work out, whatever the pathways are. I know this. I know we will all be alright one day. But right now, we just have to hold on tight to our seats, brace ourselves for a hard ride and wait and see what happens. We can only do that much.
Turns out that dad collapsed at home with severe abdominal pain and vomitting. Mom had to get an ambulance to get him to the hospital. As usual, the man was resisting the hospital but mom said he looked really bad so against his insistence that he can take the pain, mom sent him in.
I cleared my work and went to the hospital to be with mom. There was probably nothing I could do for him, but I didn't mom to wait alone in the hospital for hours.
By evening, they had transferred him to the High Dependency Ward. At 7pm the doctors came out and took us aside.
Dad is diagnosed with acute severe pancreatitis. In layman's terms, it just means that his pancreas is badly inflamed. Usually someone with a history of alcohol drinking or gallstone disease would be predisposed to this. In dad's case, he does not drink so we have narrowed this down to gallstones. Early scans however, showed no gallstone blockage.
The picture is not very pretty at the moment. Dad has elevated potassium levels, signalling that his heart is not doing very well. His blood pressure is also high at 160/100. Significantly, the doctor has said his kidneys are in a state of advanced impairment. The kidney specialist has been called in and dad may face long-term dialysis if he ever gets out of this one.
In short, the doctors have put him on the dangerously ill list. There is nothing they can do with pancreatitis except to rest the pancreas so no food and drink allowed, and lots of IV fluids given intravenously. Antibiotics are also given, although I have read that this is controversial and not all antibiotic-use have been proven effective although about 3 out of 5 studies have said this has been linked with better outcomes. More importantly, they are keeping him as comfortable as possible since he was in a great deal of pain. Morphine is out so they are using Pethidine with Maxalon - Pethidine to sedate and Maxalon to counter nausea and vomiting which are associated with Pethidine.
It must be Japan.
The last time we planned a trip to Japan, dad had the emergency bypass on the eve of our departure, literally leaving me strung up by my toenails in agony trying to make a decision of whether to stay or go. We went and thankfully, that episode resolved itself well.
Now, this. I feel like this is deja vu all over again. No doubt this time the trip is months away. But I feel the same sense of unease, doubt and worry. What will happen to him? And what will happen to mom if anything happens to dad? While mom sometimes snarks about dad and grimly declares she wishes she didn't have to worry about him or take care of him etc, it is always done with the familiarity of long-time married couples. When one couple has been together for so many years and shared so much history, that bond is inevitable. Whether that bond is made from love, comfort, companionship or just familiarity or even pragmatism, that does not matter. If anything happens to dad, what will happen to mom? I worry about her. She will miss him tremendously.
I will miss him too but it is different for me. I have my own family and my own journey. And in my life, maybe I am at the midway stations. But for mom, with the passing of her parents and perhaps now, if dad goes, that's like an era quietly faded to white. Like footprints that are obliterated by fresh falling snow so that you no longer can really re-trace your steps anymore.
Everything will eventually work out, whatever the pathways are. I know this. I know we will all be alright one day. But right now, we just have to hold on tight to our seats, brace ourselves for a hard ride and wait and see what happens. We can only do that much.
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