Picked Cait up after gym training yesterday. She was so tired she slept in the bus - knocking off even in the short 10min ride to our home. Gym was good yesterday, she said. She's learned to do the back flip and finds it lots of fun. She also showed me her blisters on her palms. Honestly speaking, as a mother, I feel a bit sad. Not too long ago, these were tiny baby palms that I held and I kissed and now they are red, hard and calloused.
I asked her: Why do you like gym so much even though you get so tired and you get blisters like this everytime?
She thought for a while and replied: I should finish what I started shouldn't I? Isn't it easier that way?
O-kay! Point taken.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
I am in uncharted territory where Isaac is concerned.
He has hit that age - you know the one where all parents shudder about. While I was bracing myself for all the horror stories of teenhood, I never expected it to creep up on me as it did - not with Gillian but with Isaac of all people!
By day, he is your average student, quiet, seemingly well-behaved. But there is another side of him slowly emerging. The secretive, sensitive freedom fighter side.
It's been building up I guess. The lost phone and SIM card (barely weeks after I bought it), the lack of interest in work, the flagging grades (Bs and Cs), the total nonchalence about life, the defiant and blatant disobedience, the furtive early morning visits to the study room to use the computer despite my warnings not to. To which he turns a deaf ear of course. By the way, Isaac is never openly defiant or rude. Rather, he just blanks you out (poker face that he is, I can never tell if he is actively listening to my lectures!) and then quietly, in his own time, goes and does exactly what I explicitly told him NOT to. So I seethe and I nag.
Things finally came to a head two weeks ago.
KH and I were sick with H1N1 remember? So we were at home recuperating. It was a Monday. Isaac was supposed to be home by 2.30pm. School ended at 2.15pm and because we live a mere 15-min walk away, he should have been home latest by 3pm even if we factored in dawdling.
But nope. No sign of him. Not even a phonecall. By 5pm, I asked Gillian to call his buddy and our neighbour Bryan. The boys go back a long way. Bryan, or Bry as we call him, by sheer chance, went to the same kindy and today wound up in the same class as Isaac in school. His grandfather lives a few doors down the street and Bry is a common fixture around our house. Most evenings would see him hanging out here, sometimes dining with us and waiting till past 8pm for his parents to pick him up. I always say Bry is like an additional child of mine who wanders in, gets fed and then goes to another home for the night cos the next day, he's back haunting the yard again!
So Gillian called Bry. Bry says airily: "I dunno where Isaac is. I last saw him at 4.30pm in school."
6pm came and went. No Isaac. By then we were no longer fuming but just plain worried. Could something have happened? Was I going to get a visit from a policeman with bad news?
7.30pm and our friend finally, sheepishly walks through the door. Intact. Of course that didn't last long because I was ready to rip him into 28 pieces and scatter him for the wild dogs in some field in Punggol!
The interrogation started. Version 1 of his story went like this: I was at my classmate's house. No, you don't know him. No one was at home, only his maid. We finished our homework. Then we played some games on the Xbox and I got carried away and forgot about the time. Bry was with me.
Wait a minute. Bry? The holes in his story started to enlarge as I probed deeper.
Version 2 (what really happened) went like this: He went to Bry's house. They played on the Xbox and online as well. Gillian called and he told Bry to lie for him. They played until 7.30pm when Bry's parents came home and gave him a lift back to our house. And no, at no time during this whole escapade did he think of calling back to let us know.
So... not only did he not come home when he should have, he did not bother calling, and he lied. So many issues, which one to punish him for? How to punish? I didn't know where to begin. KH said shortly: cane him and throw him out of the house! Silly man. This is a strapping 12-going on 13- year old boy who is as tall as I am! It's ridiculous to cane him! And the "throw him out of the house" line is seriously getting old.
I didn't want to just punish. I wanted to delve to the bottom of this behaviour and I wanted him to see how wrong it was and to change. Already, he and his daddy have faced off on several issues. At least for now, I am still someone that he is quite close to, still affectionate with at times and will listen to (at least he still gives me the respect of acting like he is listening!). So caning and drama is out of the question.
Instead, I read him the riot act, took away his dinner and told him he can jolly well stand outside until I tell him to come in. So he stood outside, in his school uniform, schoolbag on his shoulder, from 8pm to 10pm. Guy got off cheap. If we lived in ancient China, he would have been kneeling on flagstones until his knees bled!
I was still troubled by the incident for several days and did a fair bit of soul-searching and reflecting. And recently, I had sort of an mini epiphany.
1) At dinner one night, I asked him: if you were asked to play a game which you had no hope of winning, against other better players, would you play? Would you be game for the experience? He went silent. Bingo. So I went on. This is why you don't do well in History, Geography, Lit right? These are subjects which I expected you would do well in, given your command of the language and your interests in these areas. So it was a surprise that you did not do well. But now I think I know why. You don't do well in these areas because this is new to you. It's unfamiliar. The rules of the game have changed. Its not enough to know the facts you need opinions and intelligent analysis. So you're not sure. You're not sure how to can play the game. So instead of learning the rules and playing to get experience, you'd rather sit the game out. You'd rather not play if you can't win. That is it, in a nutshell. Isn't it?
After a long while, he nodded reluctantly. I think I found out why he does not want to engage with the subjects - he prefers to avoid those that are harder, a bit more of a challenge and if they are not immediately something he knows he can do well in. But in avoiding and procrastinating, he is simply digging an even deeper hole of failure. I don't have an answer on how to motivate him, but I told him that whatever I can help with history, geog or lit, if he wanted, he could ask me, and certainly he should ask his teachers and never be afraid of seeking help or looking stupid because that was the only way to do better.
2) Looking at his behaviour over the past weeks, it is clear that he wants to flex his muscles of self-autonomy. Yes, his behaviour right now does not seem to merit my trust. Yes, he is looking less than responsible at the moment.
But as a mother, did I make it easy for him to gain my trust? I don't think so.
I keep telling him the usual: trust has to be earned. But I forgot one thing - that for trust to be earned, some has to be given out first. Like a small pile of capital that is wisely invested and grows. That is trust. How could I say I trust him if I were constantly tracking him, nagging him about his work, about why he is late from school, what he did, where he went etc. How much faith am I putting in him to make good (or even bad!) judgements when he hardly has the opportunity to do so?
I have to learn to let go. Let my children go, bash out their own paths, get scratched along the way. I have to get rid of rescue mode.
Last week, I finally bought a new cheap basic phone and a new SIM card and gave it to him. I told him: With this phone, I'm going to put some trust in you. I will trust you not to lose your phone and to take care of it. I will trust that you will know when to come home. I will trust that you will be responsible enough to call if you are delayed for whatever reason. Beyond that, I will not keep calling you, or tracking you, or calling your friends to find out where you are. About your grades, well, I don't want to sound like a broken record and I don't want to keep chasing you and bugging you about it. Honestly, I'm getting real tired of all this and I'm sure you are too. So I will leave it to you. You know what to do. While I really despise the feeling of 'regret' in life, if you have to have a taste of it, you just have to. You make your own road.
Well, its been more than a week so far. And I am getting regular calls and messages from him: I'm on my way home, geog teacher held the class back. Or walking home now, back by xx time.
I don't know if he is telling me the truth about why he has to stay back or why he is delayed etc. I find it hard to sit on my hands and NOT ask or probe. Not easy keeping to my end of the bargain. But I'm happy that he volunteers the information. And the talk about his work might have struck a chord somewhere. Bry came by the other day to say that Isaac scored Distinctions in Maths and Science. So maybe the lack of push helped?
And speaking of Bry, I had a quick chat with him too regarding the lie for Isaac. He looked abashed when we spoke but I think he got the message.
I think as parents, we might find it hard to let go. When our baby is learning to walk, how we baby-proofed the house, watched in proud anxiety as he took his wobbly first steps. But eventually, he learned to walk and we no longer watch the boy walk in nail-biting tension.
Teenhood is similar I think.
I am slowly learning how to let go. It's hard. And very scary! I still have the maternal-anal retentive feeling of wanting to rush in and smooth things, make it better, easier, do it more efficiently etc. But I think I would not be doing him any favours if I did.
If he screws up, or makes a major boo-boo in life, it will be bittersweet for us but it will be part of his journey, and it just has to be that way, whether I like it or not.
I'll just be standing in the wings watching, with that same heart-in-the-mouth-will-he-screw-it-up feeling. And if he does fall, just help him to his feet and do what I do now to all my babies - put a plaster and give a hug to make it all better.
He has hit that age - you know the one where all parents shudder about. While I was bracing myself for all the horror stories of teenhood, I never expected it to creep up on me as it did - not with Gillian but with Isaac of all people!
By day, he is your average student, quiet, seemingly well-behaved. But there is another side of him slowly emerging. The secretive, sensitive freedom fighter side.
It's been building up I guess. The lost phone and SIM card (barely weeks after I bought it), the lack of interest in work, the flagging grades (Bs and Cs), the total nonchalence about life, the defiant and blatant disobedience, the furtive early morning visits to the study room to use the computer despite my warnings not to. To which he turns a deaf ear of course. By the way, Isaac is never openly defiant or rude. Rather, he just blanks you out (poker face that he is, I can never tell if he is actively listening to my lectures!) and then quietly, in his own time, goes and does exactly what I explicitly told him NOT to. So I seethe and I nag.
Things finally came to a head two weeks ago.
KH and I were sick with H1N1 remember? So we were at home recuperating. It was a Monday. Isaac was supposed to be home by 2.30pm. School ended at 2.15pm and because we live a mere 15-min walk away, he should have been home latest by 3pm even if we factored in dawdling.
But nope. No sign of him. Not even a phonecall. By 5pm, I asked Gillian to call his buddy and our neighbour Bryan. The boys go back a long way. Bryan, or Bry as we call him, by sheer chance, went to the same kindy and today wound up in the same class as Isaac in school. His grandfather lives a few doors down the street and Bry is a common fixture around our house. Most evenings would see him hanging out here, sometimes dining with us and waiting till past 8pm for his parents to pick him up. I always say Bry is like an additional child of mine who wanders in, gets fed and then goes to another home for the night cos the next day, he's back haunting the yard again!
So Gillian called Bry. Bry says airily: "I dunno where Isaac is. I last saw him at 4.30pm in school."
6pm came and went. No Isaac. By then we were no longer fuming but just plain worried. Could something have happened? Was I going to get a visit from a policeman with bad news?
7.30pm and our friend finally, sheepishly walks through the door. Intact. Of course that didn't last long because I was ready to rip him into 28 pieces and scatter him for the wild dogs in some field in Punggol!
The interrogation started. Version 1 of his story went like this: I was at my classmate's house. No, you don't know him. No one was at home, only his maid. We finished our homework. Then we played some games on the Xbox and I got carried away and forgot about the time. Bry was with me.
Wait a minute. Bry? The holes in his story started to enlarge as I probed deeper.
Version 2 (what really happened) went like this: He went to Bry's house. They played on the Xbox and online as well. Gillian called and he told Bry to lie for him. They played until 7.30pm when Bry's parents came home and gave him a lift back to our house. And no, at no time during this whole escapade did he think of calling back to let us know.
So... not only did he not come home when he should have, he did not bother calling, and he lied. So many issues, which one to punish him for? How to punish? I didn't know where to begin. KH said shortly: cane him and throw him out of the house! Silly man. This is a strapping 12-going on 13- year old boy who is as tall as I am! It's ridiculous to cane him! And the "throw him out of the house" line is seriously getting old.
I didn't want to just punish. I wanted to delve to the bottom of this behaviour and I wanted him to see how wrong it was and to change. Already, he and his daddy have faced off on several issues. At least for now, I am still someone that he is quite close to, still affectionate with at times and will listen to (at least he still gives me the respect of acting like he is listening!). So caning and drama is out of the question.
Instead, I read him the riot act, took away his dinner and told him he can jolly well stand outside until I tell him to come in. So he stood outside, in his school uniform, schoolbag on his shoulder, from 8pm to 10pm. Guy got off cheap. If we lived in ancient China, he would have been kneeling on flagstones until his knees bled!
I was still troubled by the incident for several days and did a fair bit of soul-searching and reflecting. And recently, I had sort of an mini epiphany.
1) At dinner one night, I asked him: if you were asked to play a game which you had no hope of winning, against other better players, would you play? Would you be game for the experience? He went silent. Bingo. So I went on. This is why you don't do well in History, Geography, Lit right? These are subjects which I expected you would do well in, given your command of the language and your interests in these areas. So it was a surprise that you did not do well. But now I think I know why. You don't do well in these areas because this is new to you. It's unfamiliar. The rules of the game have changed. Its not enough to know the facts you need opinions and intelligent analysis. So you're not sure. You're not sure how to can play the game. So instead of learning the rules and playing to get experience, you'd rather sit the game out. You'd rather not play if you can't win. That is it, in a nutshell. Isn't it?
After a long while, he nodded reluctantly. I think I found out why he does not want to engage with the subjects - he prefers to avoid those that are harder, a bit more of a challenge and if they are not immediately something he knows he can do well in. But in avoiding and procrastinating, he is simply digging an even deeper hole of failure. I don't have an answer on how to motivate him, but I told him that whatever I can help with history, geog or lit, if he wanted, he could ask me, and certainly he should ask his teachers and never be afraid of seeking help or looking stupid because that was the only way to do better.
2) Looking at his behaviour over the past weeks, it is clear that he wants to flex his muscles of self-autonomy. Yes, his behaviour right now does not seem to merit my trust. Yes, he is looking less than responsible at the moment.
But as a mother, did I make it easy for him to gain my trust? I don't think so.
I keep telling him the usual: trust has to be earned. But I forgot one thing - that for trust to be earned, some has to be given out first. Like a small pile of capital that is wisely invested and grows. That is trust. How could I say I trust him if I were constantly tracking him, nagging him about his work, about why he is late from school, what he did, where he went etc. How much faith am I putting in him to make good (or even bad!) judgements when he hardly has the opportunity to do so?
I have to learn to let go. Let my children go, bash out their own paths, get scratched along the way. I have to get rid of rescue mode.
Last week, I finally bought a new cheap basic phone and a new SIM card and gave it to him. I told him: With this phone, I'm going to put some trust in you. I will trust you not to lose your phone and to take care of it. I will trust that you will know when to come home. I will trust that you will be responsible enough to call if you are delayed for whatever reason. Beyond that, I will not keep calling you, or tracking you, or calling your friends to find out where you are. About your grades, well, I don't want to sound like a broken record and I don't want to keep chasing you and bugging you about it. Honestly, I'm getting real tired of all this and I'm sure you are too. So I will leave it to you. You know what to do. While I really despise the feeling of 'regret' in life, if you have to have a taste of it, you just have to. You make your own road.
Well, its been more than a week so far. And I am getting regular calls and messages from him: I'm on my way home, geog teacher held the class back. Or walking home now, back by xx time.
I don't know if he is telling me the truth about why he has to stay back or why he is delayed etc. I find it hard to sit on my hands and NOT ask or probe. Not easy keeping to my end of the bargain. But I'm happy that he volunteers the information. And the talk about his work might have struck a chord somewhere. Bry came by the other day to say that Isaac scored Distinctions in Maths and Science. So maybe the lack of push helped?
And speaking of Bry, I had a quick chat with him too regarding the lie for Isaac. He looked abashed when we spoke but I think he got the message.
I think as parents, we might find it hard to let go. When our baby is learning to walk, how we baby-proofed the house, watched in proud anxiety as he took his wobbly first steps. But eventually, he learned to walk and we no longer watch the boy walk in nail-biting tension.
Teenhood is similar I think.
I am slowly learning how to let go. It's hard. And very scary! I still have the maternal-anal retentive feeling of wanting to rush in and smooth things, make it better, easier, do it more efficiently etc. But I think I would not be doing him any favours if I did.
If he screws up, or makes a major boo-boo in life, it will be bittersweet for us but it will be part of his journey, and it just has to be that way, whether I like it or not.
I'll just be standing in the wings watching, with that same heart-in-the-mouth-will-he-screw-it-up feeling. And if he does fall, just help him to his feet and do what I do now to all my babies - put a plaster and give a hug to make it all better.
Blogged earlier about Cait's gym schedule and how heavy that was. Well, that schedule just got heavier as the coaches upped the ante with her!
She has been pulled out of the other Level 2 gymnasts group to train with the core school team. She will no longer be training with the other P2 girls, but will now train with the older girls - the P4s, P5s who are at a higher level. The coach feels that she picks things up very fast, thinks on her feet and can do more. Coach Sao was explaining in Mandarin and my Mandarin is never very good so I gathered that the gist of this is due to 'succession planning'. As the older girls 'retire', one or two of the younger girls who demonstrate greater potential will be pushed up to the next level and given more intensive training. These are the potential medallists so they will be training harder and longer hours than the others.
So now, Cait's training schedule looks like this:
Monday: 2pm to 6pm
Tuesday: 2pm to 6pm
Wednesday: 2pm to 6pm
Thursday: Berries class from 4pm to 5.45pm
Friday: 6pm to 9pm
Saturday: 9am to 12.30pm
Sunday: 4pm to 8pm (used to be 4pm to 6pm)
Looking at the schedule, she's clearly already training six days a week, and at longer hours too. Ballet is clearly no longer in the picture now. Coach says she is very good for someone who was 'spotted' only at end P1. She had skipped Level 1 gym and jumped straight into Level 2 'fresh' without prior training and now, less than a year later, will be training with the other bigger girls. They are pushing hard for next year's C Div Inter-Schools Artistic Gymnastics competition. Coach thinks that by Feb/March next year, with this intense coaching, Cait would be ready to take on at least one event. CHIJ Pri had won some medals this year and so I guess the heat is on for the medals to keep coming in!
Coach thinks she can do it because she seems like a bright girl. Mr Lim told us yesterday: To do well in gym, you need this (points to his head!) because when you are up there, you need to think about and remember many things - where your legs are, how pointed are they, the pose, the routine etc. And when you're swinging around on the bars, that can't be easy!
KH is perturbed at the intensity of training but also proud of her for coming this far. We've sat her down and talked about all the implications. The longer training hours mean she would be more tired and this would be hard on her physically. She knows this already.
On Saturday while picking her up after gym, the teacher-in-charge came down to the car with Cait. I was not there but KH said the teacher was reassuring him that Cait was alright, speaking in Mandarin, that she was crying a bit because she felt giddy after several rounds of handstands but, she "did very well in gym, she's the best in the group!" Cait said she cried because she had "a very bad headache" because she worked too hard in gym.
We were also concerned that with the intense training, she would hardly have time to work academically. We've also told her in no uncertain terms that while we support gym, her grades cannot flag. If they do, we will take her out of gym or cut down on training. She's got to find a way to balance both. To which she nodded soberly and perked up saying: "I have one hour before gym starts. I can do my homework then or if daddy has work for me, I can bring the assessment books to school and do it then!"
Well, I'm proud that she can think like this. I think she has the discipline to do this. But I know it will be hard for her at times, challenging too. As KH sighed to me this morning, even if her grades flag, how to take her out of gym? It will demoralise her so much that her grades will slip even further!
I guess we'll just have to watch her carefully, not only in terms of her school work but her health, make sure she eats well (she eats like a horse now actually - lots of food, loving the carbs, the fruits and the greens!) and that she gets enough rest and R&R time.
She has been pulled out of the other Level 2 gymnasts group to train with the core school team. She will no longer be training with the other P2 girls, but will now train with the older girls - the P4s, P5s who are at a higher level. The coach feels that she picks things up very fast, thinks on her feet and can do more. Coach Sao was explaining in Mandarin and my Mandarin is never very good so I gathered that the gist of this is due to 'succession planning'. As the older girls 'retire', one or two of the younger girls who demonstrate greater potential will be pushed up to the next level and given more intensive training. These are the potential medallists so they will be training harder and longer hours than the others.
So now, Cait's training schedule looks like this:
Monday: 2pm to 6pm
Tuesday: 2pm to 6pm
Wednesday: 2pm to 6pm
Thursday: Berries class from 4pm to 5.45pm
Friday: 6pm to 9pm
Saturday: 9am to 12.30pm
Sunday: 4pm to 8pm (used to be 4pm to 6pm)
Looking at the schedule, she's clearly already training six days a week, and at longer hours too. Ballet is clearly no longer in the picture now. Coach says she is very good for someone who was 'spotted' only at end P1. She had skipped Level 1 gym and jumped straight into Level 2 'fresh' without prior training and now, less than a year later, will be training with the other bigger girls. They are pushing hard for next year's C Div Inter-Schools Artistic Gymnastics competition. Coach thinks that by Feb/March next year, with this intense coaching, Cait would be ready to take on at least one event. CHIJ Pri had won some medals this year and so I guess the heat is on for the medals to keep coming in!
Coach thinks she can do it because she seems like a bright girl. Mr Lim told us yesterday: To do well in gym, you need this (points to his head!) because when you are up there, you need to think about and remember many things - where your legs are, how pointed are they, the pose, the routine etc. And when you're swinging around on the bars, that can't be easy!
KH is perturbed at the intensity of training but also proud of her for coming this far. We've sat her down and talked about all the implications. The longer training hours mean she would be more tired and this would be hard on her physically. She knows this already.
On Saturday while picking her up after gym, the teacher-in-charge came down to the car with Cait. I was not there but KH said the teacher was reassuring him that Cait was alright, speaking in Mandarin, that she was crying a bit because she felt giddy after several rounds of handstands but, she "did very well in gym, she's the best in the group!" Cait said she cried because she had "a very bad headache" because she worked too hard in gym.
We were also concerned that with the intense training, she would hardly have time to work academically. We've also told her in no uncertain terms that while we support gym, her grades cannot flag. If they do, we will take her out of gym or cut down on training. She's got to find a way to balance both. To which she nodded soberly and perked up saying: "I have one hour before gym starts. I can do my homework then or if daddy has work for me, I can bring the assessment books to school and do it then!"
Well, I'm proud that she can think like this. I think she has the discipline to do this. But I know it will be hard for her at times, challenging too. As KH sighed to me this morning, even if her grades flag, how to take her out of gym? It will demoralise her so much that her grades will slip even further!
I guess we'll just have to watch her carefully, not only in terms of her school work but her health, make sure she eats well (she eats like a horse now actually - lots of food, loving the carbs, the fruits and the greens!) and that she gets enough rest and R&R time.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Updating on Trin and Owain. I tried them with the Ladybird Reading Scheme and they have both finished Books 1A and 1B with no problem. Tonight I'm going to start them both on Ladybird 2A and 2B. Trin seems faster than Owain and picks up faster. I am not sure if she is reading with understanding or just reading by rote. Her memory work seems good and she is able to retain the word after a few prompts and reminders. Owain seems to have to work harder at remembering/retaining words.
I find that Owain enjoys having people read to him but has no inclination to read by himself. Maybe he lacks confidence in his abilities? The only time he does this willingly or enthusiastically is when I work with both Trin and him together. Then he sees it as a 'competition' and would approach it with greater gusto. Reads like a shinkansen on overdrive - no full-stop! Had to keep reminding him to take a breath! He still seems hesitant when it comes to blending and decoding sounds. Eg the 'ch', 'sh' and 'th' is still approached with caution and some inaccuracy. I sense that he seems unsure. When done in a phonics workbook from school, he can do this - and seems happy to recite the list to me and can do so relatively fluently. But the same words, when taken in a different context, found in a book or somewhere else, he seems to lose his confidence - even if he could very well read it in his phonics book.
His teachers have taken great pains to assure me that his progress is normal. I might be more paranoid than the usual parent out there given the family history but my antenna is really up and beeping away. Is it me - that I am unduly paranoid or expecting too much? Or is there something not right - mild dyslexia or, as in Isaac's case, just poor phonological awareness? Either way, those are real issues that can handicap learning.
I see similarities in him and Isaac - particularly when it comes to Chinese. Isaac, funnily enough, despite poor phonological awareness and some inaccuracies in decoding sounds, words, still loves to read. But not Owain. Certainly, Isaac at age 5 was a great deal more fluent a reader than Owain. I think back then he progressed so well and so fast that we were all very surprised. Even Melissa, who worked with him for so long. I do not see this in Owain. Is this comparison helpful? Instead, Owain's caution (aversion is too strong a word) with reading seems to mirror Gillian. See my warning red flag waving again?
I am not going to jump the gun, and I will give him time - until the middle/end of P1 next year, to see how he copes with reading and with Chinese. But my gut feel is that he will struggle and there might just be an underlying issue somewhere.
Trin is one child I can't quite figure out. Yes, she still has speech issues - not in pronunciation but in grammar, sentence structure, content. She is very chatty - just a bit incoherent sometimes. Eg "I go for you" instead of "I go with you". But then she's able to pick up on puns/meaning. Eg she overhears us saying "Gosh, she's such a bossy baby!" and she says "Huh? I am the boss? Yes! I am your boss! Okay?!" She loves to chatter - baby talk, incoherent chatter, and she loves to sing. So clearly not an issue of NOT talking. I find this very hard to understand or even to explain this. I think in terms of other 3 to 4 year olds, she might be 6months to a year behind in expressive language structure. But then again, she seems to be a bit advanced when it comes to simple reading. One step forwards, two steps back? Frustratingly puzzling.
Trin is very motivated by lots of praise - the more enthusiastic, the better. She also seems proud to know that she is able to finish two books by herself. Trin also seems happy to read words off the TV screen - she reads parts of the subtitles. Lately I realised that she could read more than the usual sight words. She was including words like "birth" "happy" "love". She's happy to read all the time - road signs, shop signs, banners, newspaper headlines and all manner of incidental text. I don't see this same interest manifesting in Owain.
Trin can be a real tyrant though and she has this bad habit - she can also be a real little hypochondriac and that can be endearing or exasperating, depending on your mood. She could be very annoying whiny at times. Just over the weekend, she entertained us with dramatic proclamations - "My hand!" " My nose!" "My stomach hurts" "Itchy!" "Blood!!" "I want a plaster!!" (for a teensy cut on her knuckle that had dried up already and to appease her, we had to give her a plastic that practically covered her fist. She was proud of that. Made her look like Rocky). At bedtime, her routine is "Give me my medicine now. I want to eat medicine!" She means her usual dose of multi-vits and probiotics. Even my normally patient and doting mother finally snapped after a weekend of "My nose!"
KH himself commented once: "You're as bad as your nai-nai!" Haha! At least he acknowledges what a chronic hypochondriac his mother is - and how annoying that can be!
I find that Owain enjoys having people read to him but has no inclination to read by himself. Maybe he lacks confidence in his abilities? The only time he does this willingly or enthusiastically is when I work with both Trin and him together. Then he sees it as a 'competition' and would approach it with greater gusto. Reads like a shinkansen on overdrive - no full-stop! Had to keep reminding him to take a breath! He still seems hesitant when it comes to blending and decoding sounds. Eg the 'ch', 'sh' and 'th' is still approached with caution and some inaccuracy. I sense that he seems unsure. When done in a phonics workbook from school, he can do this - and seems happy to recite the list to me and can do so relatively fluently. But the same words, when taken in a different context, found in a book or somewhere else, he seems to lose his confidence - even if he could very well read it in his phonics book.
His teachers have taken great pains to assure me that his progress is normal. I might be more paranoid than the usual parent out there given the family history but my antenna is really up and beeping away. Is it me - that I am unduly paranoid or expecting too much? Or is there something not right - mild dyslexia or, as in Isaac's case, just poor phonological awareness? Either way, those are real issues that can handicap learning.
I see similarities in him and Isaac - particularly when it comes to Chinese. Isaac, funnily enough, despite poor phonological awareness and some inaccuracies in decoding sounds, words, still loves to read. But not Owain. Certainly, Isaac at age 5 was a great deal more fluent a reader than Owain. I think back then he progressed so well and so fast that we were all very surprised. Even Melissa, who worked with him for so long. I do not see this in Owain. Is this comparison helpful? Instead, Owain's caution (aversion is too strong a word) with reading seems to mirror Gillian. See my warning red flag waving again?
I am not going to jump the gun, and I will give him time - until the middle/end of P1 next year, to see how he copes with reading and with Chinese. But my gut feel is that he will struggle and there might just be an underlying issue somewhere.
Trin is one child I can't quite figure out. Yes, she still has speech issues - not in pronunciation but in grammar, sentence structure, content. She is very chatty - just a bit incoherent sometimes. Eg "I go for you" instead of "I go with you". But then she's able to pick up on puns/meaning. Eg she overhears us saying "Gosh, she's such a bossy baby!" and she says "Huh? I am the boss? Yes! I am your boss! Okay?!" She loves to chatter - baby talk, incoherent chatter, and she loves to sing. So clearly not an issue of NOT talking. I find this very hard to understand or even to explain this. I think in terms of other 3 to 4 year olds, she might be 6months to a year behind in expressive language structure. But then again, she seems to be a bit advanced when it comes to simple reading. One step forwards, two steps back? Frustratingly puzzling.
Trin is very motivated by lots of praise - the more enthusiastic, the better. She also seems proud to know that she is able to finish two books by herself. Trin also seems happy to read words off the TV screen - she reads parts of the subtitles. Lately I realised that she could read more than the usual sight words. She was including words like "birth" "happy" "love". She's happy to read all the time - road signs, shop signs, banners, newspaper headlines and all manner of incidental text. I don't see this same interest manifesting in Owain.
Trin can be a real tyrant though and she has this bad habit - she can also be a real little hypochondriac and that can be endearing or exasperating, depending on your mood. She could be very annoying whiny at times. Just over the weekend, she entertained us with dramatic proclamations - "My hand!" " My nose!" "My stomach hurts" "Itchy!" "Blood!!" "I want a plaster!!" (for a teensy cut on her knuckle that had dried up already and to appease her, we had to give her a plastic that practically covered her fist. She was proud of that. Made her look like Rocky). At bedtime, her routine is "Give me my medicine now. I want to eat medicine!" She means her usual dose of multi-vits and probiotics. Even my normally patient and doting mother finally snapped after a weekend of "My nose!"
KH himself commented once: "You're as bad as your nai-nai!" Haha! At least he acknowledges what a chronic hypochondriac his mother is - and how annoying that can be!
My regular hypertension check-up with the doctor took place last week. A blood test showed low sodium levels. Normal levels are between 136 to 145 mEq/l. Mine is 131 mEq/l. Doc says anything below 130 is not good. He thinks its the diuretics he prescribed to help control the blood pressure. At 12.5mg of chlorothiazide, this is actually a low dose but apparently, he thinks it has caused sodium levels to fall as a cumulative, long-term effect.
To counter this, he took me off the hydrochlorothiazide and kept me on Nifidepine 60mg only. I did tell him that after surgery sometime back, I took myself off the hydrochlorothiazide since I found that the BP was well-managed and in fact, was on the low side. But after about 2 to 3 weeks, I found the BP rising again to well past 145/100, so I put myself back on the meds. Since then its been well-controlled at readings of 110/75.
So for now, I'm off the diuretic and diligently monitoring my BP to see what the impact would be. So far so good. BUT the bad news is, I am already seeing some changes to sleep and pee patterns which I am not sure are healthy or not in the longer run. These are:
I am blogging this because I need to keep a log of any changes that might be attributed to the change in meds for discussion purposes with the doctor when I next see him.
To counter this, he took me off the hydrochlorothiazide and kept me on Nifidepine 60mg only. I did tell him that after surgery sometime back, I took myself off the hydrochlorothiazide since I found that the BP was well-managed and in fact, was on the low side. But after about 2 to 3 weeks, I found the BP rising again to well past 145/100, so I put myself back on the meds. Since then its been well-controlled at readings of 110/75.
So for now, I'm off the diuretic and diligently monitoring my BP to see what the impact would be. So far so good. BUT the bad news is, I am already seeing some changes to sleep and pee patterns which I am not sure are healthy or not in the longer run. These are:
- Significantly reduced pee levels. I peed TWICE in the daytime yesterday - once in the morning when I woke up and then nothing for the whole day until I got home. Imagine - I never visited the loo even once in the entire working day! Its been like this since I got off the meds last week. Funny thing is, while I don't pee much in the day, I wake up to pee once in the middle of the night - which I find very disruptive and something I have not done since I went on the meds.
- Disturbed sleep. I either find difficulty getting to sleep or sustaining sleep. And my dreams have been generally disturbing ones that leave me awake in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep or generally in light, troubled sleep. I do not sleep soundly and I wake up feeling draggy and tired.
I am blogging this because I need to keep a log of any changes that might be attributed to the change in meds for discussion purposes with the doctor when I next see him.
Monday, August 03, 2009
The flu saga has spread over to this week.
After KH fell sick, it was Gillian's turn. On the second visit to the doctor, they did a swab test and this time, she tested positive for Influenza A - H1N1. By Saturday, I was feeling a bit under the weather myself.
I've found that H1N1 reacts differently with different people. Both KH and Gillian were very sick. Gillian developing a chesty, phlegmy cough while KH had very bad body aches. I, on the other hand, have a nagging irritating cough but not phlegmy and low-grade fever hovering around 37.6. So off I went to see the doctor this morning. Because Gillian had tested positive, it was also likely that I had the same thing. So we're both on long MC for the rest of the week.
The doc offered Tamiflu to me because she categorised me as a 'high-risk' case because of my asthma history and hypertension. Plus, sadly I know, I am considered borderline obese (hate that word!). She said the best time to start Tamiflu was now, but I decided against it. You know me and my aversion to drugs. I will watch and see and if things get worse, I'll see the doctor again. But as of right now, I'm feeling okay - generally fluey but not desperately sick.
After KH fell sick, it was Gillian's turn. On the second visit to the doctor, they did a swab test and this time, she tested positive for Influenza A - H1N1. By Saturday, I was feeling a bit under the weather myself.
I've found that H1N1 reacts differently with different people. Both KH and Gillian were very sick. Gillian developing a chesty, phlegmy cough while KH had very bad body aches. I, on the other hand, have a nagging irritating cough but not phlegmy and low-grade fever hovering around 37.6. So off I went to see the doctor this morning. Because Gillian had tested positive, it was also likely that I had the same thing. So we're both on long MC for the rest of the week.
The doc offered Tamiflu to me because she categorised me as a 'high-risk' case because of my asthma history and hypertension. Plus, sadly I know, I am considered borderline obese (hate that word!). She said the best time to start Tamiflu was now, but I decided against it. You know me and my aversion to drugs. I will watch and see and if things get worse, I'll see the doctor again. But as of right now, I'm feeling okay - generally fluey but not desperately sick.
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