Retirement moolah

With all the recent noise about retirement funds etc and the fear that our CPF would run dry, I decided to see how poorly off I would be at the age of 60 and whether I would have enough moolah to last till I am 80. So I used the CPF calculator - pretty detailed - it included mortgage payments, projected expenditure (down to haircuts and facials!!), savings and investments etc.

You're basically supposed to fill in the blanks - to the best of your knowledge but try not to cheat - and the programme will do the rest. So I did - put in everything, down to my $74 Shunji Matsuo haircuts. And ta-dah! I can afford to have monthly payouts of $800 from the age of 60 to the age of 80 - with a surplus of $200k + too! Woohoo!

That answers my question about whether I would have mad money to spend or not when I'm older, freer and crazier.

And this is a conservative estimate because it assumes that I am working half-time on this sort of salary until retirement at 60 (with yearly increments of 3%), it assumes that I alone will be paying off a mortgage of $384,000 on my home (which I am not!), it does NOT include property asset value (heh, like my house!)and it assumes NO other investment plan etc, just good ol-fashioned savings accounts, saving conservatively at $300 a month with an interest rate of 1%.

So all things considered, not bad at all. I think one can live - frugally - on $800 a month. As mom observed a tad wistfully - when you reach that age, you don't really think of enjoying expensive steaks anymore (bo geh - no teeth!) so you settle for porridge. I think that's the way it will be.

Growing old mom's way

My sister called me from KL, puzzled: Eh, where did mom go?

She, like me, got an SMS this morning that said goodbye in mom's usual jaunty/abrupt way which left her puzzled. Mine (sent at 6.40am this morning) read: Hi boarding plane now take care of yourselves and the children say goodbye to them for me keep an eye on your father. Tense free and punctuation free.

Mom, I informed my clueless sister, is off to Israel. Didn't she tell you?

I last saw mom on Saturday evening and we said our goodbyes then. I know she's going to have a good trip filled with holiness! With Father Johnson at the helm of the group of pilgrims, it will surely be so!

She's off to 14 days in Egypt, Israel and Jordan, covering the major sights from the Sphinx and the pyramids, to the stony hills of Mt Sinai, the mud from the Dead Sea (she's looking forward to slathering mud all over herself!) to the lush countryside of the Beatitudes, and the pink stone palaces of Petra.

My mom is one senior citizen globetrotter who can't keep still. When we parted ways on Saturday, she was still considering if she should go with me and my brood to Japan, hesitating only because she does not want to impose. As if she will. She's no lame duck, but an experienced traveller who is game for anything, does not need mollycoddling and will be the first to offer help/support than expect to be supported!

I've received confirmation from JTB that I can change my room reservation in Kyoto to a triple room to accomodate her (a good thing because Kyoto is totally, solidly, absolutely booked out for the autumn-leaf season). A check with Northwest also shows available seats. The rest of the accomodation has no problems too. So all that is left is for her to say yes and I will do the rest!

Mom has been all over the place and her lifestyle now is what I wish for myself when I get to be her age. She's internet savvy, travels widely, holds a good job that pays decently, she is financially independent, her mind is alert, barring the aches and pains, she is healthy. Her only vice is an obsession with K-dramas! So with the recent discussion on CPF changes and the proposed annuity, I do wonder if I would be able to achieve this.

Mom's lifestyle is also partly possible because her medical needs are taken care of. As a pensioner, state-subsidised medical care is available. I think for anyone over the age of 60, medical care and the funds needed for this, would be a major concern. But with the pension scheme scrapped, most of us would need to find our own way for medical funding in our old age. I've got my Incomeshield plan already, so I guess I'm covered for the biggies should I be (touch wood!) hospitalised. And I am taking care right now, to seek medical help and referrals from the polyclinic and not the usual GP-private patient route. I think that would be unsustainable in the long run. So for my hypertension management, I see the specialist in SGH, but as a subsidised patient since I was referred by the polyclinic. So its important to manage expectations here.

The second issue for me would be savings and investments. Which I have none of at the moment! I know its important, I do try to plan for it, but I get sidetracked very easily - witness the Japan trip! Okay, okay I know... willpower and a structured plan! I will make this a 2008 resolution!

I don't disagree with the annuity scheme. I think it's not a bad idea, and while some can complain about the lack of a state-funded pension or enviously eye the generous schemes of the Northern European states, lets face facts: this is Singapore, with pragmatic leaders, whose style has always been a co-operative, shared care approach etc. So unless you want to leave the country and settle elsewhere, better get used to the pragmatism that embodies their policies.

So if the annuity scheme will help take care of my day-to-day until I'm 85, I'm okay. I'm just wondering if I would have any extra left for 'mad money' - used for travels, fun, etc. I just can't see myself enjoying old age if I am counting the pennies and surviving on $300 a month!

So where else to get money from? Well... I guess there's always the house....

Or if Singapore becomes too expensive to live in, move next door! Buy a small house in a remote kampong, rear chickens, grow veggies and eat lots of ikan bilis!

Or don't live so long!

Gillian's vaccination

Meant to blog about this earlier but forgot! Gill got the usual consent forms from the SHS for vaccination. Well, measles and dipth are mandatory by law so I dutifully filled out the form, giving consent to those. I only withheld consent for polio.

Until two or three days before the SHS visit, I realised that they were going to give both the MMR and the DT shots on the same day. Not a good idea. Bad enough they don't offer single shots for diseases which they say are mandatory for vaccination. So we have to live with the DT (diptheria + tetanus) and the MMR (mumps, measles, rubella) but I always wonder how the powers-that-be plan this sort of thing? Would they like the thought of being pumped with a cocktail of 5 different diseases + any attendant preservatives and chemicals at one go?

The only reason why they would do this is out of convenience, so they don't come back another day for another round of shots. Convenience as a factor vs health implications to the immune system, now that's real logical. Unfortunately that's also the same reason cited for the many vaccinations that babies are subjected in the first 1 to 2 years of life - convenience.

So me being me, I wrote a nice note to the teacher to say I object to one of the shots (but was kind enough to let them decide which one!) if they were both going to be given on the same day. I gave Gillian strict instructions to refuse the oral polio and to call me if they overlooked my note and wanted to give her both shots.

Instead it was the nurse who called. All very pleasant and civil - she didn't ask why I didn't want both shots on the same day, just asked which one I would prefer her to take. So I chose DT. She gave me an appointment for vaccination at the SHS at HPB a month later. But later I realised that a month later meant clashing with the PSLE, so no way I was going to jab her around the PSLE dates. The following month means clashing with the Japan trip - so forget it. Looks like its got to be in December then. But then, if she's retained in P6 this year, I might just forget about vaxing her this year altogether and let the SHS deal with it when they come round next year.

Gillian came back with home with a sore and stiff upper arm. She said she was the envy of her friends for not having two injections that day! Later on, I noticed her upper arm swelled up so much she could hardly lift it to take off her pinafore. The vaccination site was also an angry-looking red and was hot to the touch. All adverse reactions of course. I just pumped her full of Vit C to help boost the system. The swelling, stiffness and redness went away after a few days.

Temptation and sibling loyalty

It all started two days ago with a commotion at the gate.

Gillan came in to tell me that their neighbour friend Melvin had come a-knocking, demanding Isaac to return one of his 'powerful' Duel Master cards. Apparently, Gillian told me, Isaac had taken it, pocketed it and now denied that he ever had it. But both his sisters had witnessed the card falling out of his pocket some days earlier, and saw him picking it up and keeping it.

I cornered Isaac about it. First, the issue was: "I thought I banned you from playing with these wretched cards! I thought I confiscated all of them!" So crime number 1 was to sneak into my wardrobe where I had left the contraband cards and remove them - defiance and disobedience. Crime number two was of course the taking of a card that did not belong to him. That, I said firmly, is theft.

I gave him a tongue-lashing and told him to "make it right." I did not approve of those Duel Masters cards - they distracted him from work, distracted him even from reading as he would often just lay the cards out and play against himself, and even when he was not doing anything, he would take out his cards and flip through them. To add to that, I did not like the illustrations on those cards - we're not talking cute pokemon type illustrations here, but realistic frightening depictions of dragons, monsters and ghouls. So one fine day I got so exasperated by this mindless fixation on the cards that I banned them once and for all.

So I was angry that he had disobeyed me and defied my ban, sneaked in and retrieved his cards. But I was angrier that he had been tempted enough to take a card that did not belong to him and to deny it. I pointed out how one sin often leads to another, and very often, snowballs to bigger things. And by the time one is done, one has left behind a whole avalanche of sadness and anger that affects more and more people. By sneaking around, he had betrayed my trust. To cover up theft, he had lied. And by taking from Melvin, he had lost a friend's trust and respect. Was it worth it? More than any punishment I could dole out, was it worth living like this and feeling as rotten as this?

So my son went back out to the gate, I heard an inaudible chatter of voices - Gillian was also there. And finally, the said card was returned to its rightful owner. When they came back in, I read him a lecture and once again, peace returned. And yes, I banned him AGAIN from those wretched cards promising dire consequences if I ever caught him with them.

The next day, part two of the drama unfolded. This time, I was at work. Isaac called me in tears, hiccuping away over the phone. For him to call me to complain about any sibling, first of all, was rare. For him to be so distressed to be incoherent, was even rarer. Not even when I ticked him off last night was he so upset. So seeing his state, I took this seriously.

The gist of the story was that Gillian had called his beloved cousin to prattle tales about what had happened re the Duel Master card saga the night before. So now my boy is hurt, embarrassed and mortified that his cousin would now see him in such an awful light. Isaac's feet of clay were clearly revealed.

I comforted him as best I could and gave Gillian a brief piece of my mind for the time being. I had to work late that night and could leave the office only at 8pm. KH, Gillian and Fishball came to pick me up. We went for supper and during supper, we talked about it.

I was not angry, but I felt that there were a few points I really needed to put across to her. KH listened quietly as I spoke.

First, I drew her attention to her brother's distress, pointing out that he rarely got into such a state and the fact that he did obviously showed how much her actions had hurt and affected him. I explained how much Isaac valued being seen in a good light by a cousin whom he liked very much, who by her prattling, would never see Isaac in the same light again. In a way, it was innocence lost for both Isaac and his cousin. I asked if she would enjoy it if her siblings revelled in a bad situation she was in and enjoyed telling the whole world about it. She would be as humiliated as Isaac was. I reminded her of a similar incident that involved Caitlin. Then, as it was now, I understood how hurt she felt. Everyone had laughed at her and even KH had thought Cait was just being too sensitive. But I understood. It hurt to the very core.

I reminded Gillian that her first loyalty went to her siblings and her parents. Not to her friends, her cousins or any part of the extended family which includes grandparents, aunts etc. We had to come first. The circle closes inwards first. Because if push comes to shove, we will be ones to close ranks for her. And likewise, I hoped she would do the same to protect, not hurt, her siblings. They have to look out for each other, not pull each other down. Loyalty is a concept which I strongly believe in - and more than anyone, I know how much it hurts when loyalty is not returned. In a large family like ours, it was more important than ever to be loyal to each other.

She listened and nodded. I liked it that we had a civil conversation like this. Just talking, sharing thoughts without me exploding. Gillian is intrinsically a good girl, just thoughtless at times. But her heart is in the right place mostly. She told me that she'd already apologised to Isaac in the afternoon and he had forgiven her. I said I was happy she'd taken the initiative to do so and happy that they're on better terms.

Later when we reached home, I asked Isaac casually, so how are you? And he said, I'm okay now. Gillian and I squared things up.

Okay, I nodded and gave him a hug. He had gotten a lash of the cane from his daddy on the same issue earlier in the evening when I was not around. KH had come to know of this incident and interrogated his son. So the real story was that Isaac had defied me, gone to play with Melvin. Melvin unknowingly dropped his card in the giant fern in our garden. Isaac did not wilfully take it from Melvin. He had found it, intending to return it to Melvin. But for some reason (my guess is that he was tempted), he pocketed it and did not return it and instead left it on the pillar of our gate (strange boy!). So no doubt Gillian got the story wrong and wrongly accused her brother of taking Melvin's card, but KH still gave Isaac a lash of the cane because it was still wrong - he should have returned it and not kept it. It was still dishonest.

Do I worry that my kids will grow up to be felons? Ah well... I still think my kids are essentially good kids. But this incident just highlights how temptation can sometimes get the better of us and how much havoc a bad decision can wreak. I just hope they've learnt something from this whole saga and will be the better and wiser for the experience. Meanwhile this mom needs a break from playing Justice Bao all the time! NATAS tomorrow!

TV addict

I was on the phone with Gillian and a mournful-sounding Fishball. And the background track to this was: Trinity screaming her head off. Long story. But the gist of it was something along the lines of Trin throwing a tantrum because we ran out of 'bubble soap'. Owain sounded mournful and sorry because he did something which he knew I would not approve of and in the process of the kick-up, woke up a sleeping Trin, who then went ballistic due to lack of sleep. To appease the screaming baby and the depressed-sounding Fishball, I okayed some TV time.

Peace and quiet.

After about 45minutes of this, I called them back to say: okay, now that everyone is happier, turn off the tv. Too much tv is bad blah blah blah... the kids know my drill.

Barely 5 minutes after I hung up, the phone rang. It was Gillian. And in the background? Trin screaming away. She was about to dance to the music on the telly when Gillian pulled the plug.

I listened to the screams for about a minute. They were loud - an understatement. Take her outside for a walk, I suggested. She's already outside, said Gillian. It was true, the screams were fading, but still there, suggesting that she was still screaming her head off despite Lolita carrying her out for a walk. Read a book to her, I say. Mum, she won't even sit still for us to read to her, counters Gillian. She's right. When Trin is in one of her tantrums, all hell really does break loose at home. Her banshee wails rival the decibel levels of a jet taking off.

So I succumbed. Never use tv as a baby-sitter. Children need more exciting, hands-on activities and not more tv to engage them. I totally agree. But in the face of those screams, and me being miles away in my safe, quiet office environment, I give in. Okay, I tell Gillian, turn the tv back on.

Mental note to self: meaningful activities tomorrow when I'm home! And NO tv!

A confirmed itinerary at last!

Planning for this Japan trip has been a series of one step forward, two steps back. I was almost beginning to think that someone up there does not want me to go on this trip!

First, my plan to book accomodation at the Tokyo International Youth Hostel was scuttled when they announced re-building plans right smack in the middle of my proposed stay. So got to look elsewhere for a roof over our heads. I finally settled on House Ikebukuro, and was told to book only on the first of September for a November stay. When I dutifully logged on on 1 Sept, the system announced that the annex room I wanted was fully booked! Bang head against wall and try again. Finally, I got a place at a small budget hotel nearer Disneyland. Things were looking up when I managed to get a room at the very cute Ryokan Kangetsu. Then when I planned to book my shinkansen+hotel arrangements in Hakone/Kyoto, I came up against a wall. The dates that I wanted were all, yes, fully booked. It was, the email informed me, the height of the autumn-leaf viewing season. sigh. Okay, so there went Hakone. When I tried to book just the Kyoto component, the budget range of accomodation was also fully booked, so no choice but to book the next grade.

But finally, I think I've nailed it. Got all the confirmations already.

To add to the excitement, last Friday at the Staff Communication Session, Chee Yong shared with the School his experiences bringing the students on a study trip to Japan. Showed gorgeous slides of Kyoto and Tokyo. One of the students had found out by chance, where the geishas (usually very hard to see in Kyoto!) hide out, so the group staked out the building and were able to get lovely pictures of the maikos and geikos all made up and dressed up in their glorious kimonos, teetering on their getas and heading out for a night's work in the early evening. I was so thrilled to see this and made Chee Yong promise to draw me a map of the place, which is somewhere in Pontocho. Can't wait!

So my confirmed itinerary is:

Saturday Nov 17 - arrive in Tokyo. KH and Team A heads into Tokyo city first and will check in at our hotel, the Family Resort Fifty's At Maihama. Team B and I arrive later in the evening.

Sunday Nov 18 - we will go to Asakusa, shopping for sembei at Nakamise Dori, perfume ourselves with incense at Sensoji, then break for lunch, take the Suijo bus down the Sumida-gawa to the lovely Hama Rikyu-koen, once a daimyo's garden, now complete with strolling paths, bridges, pavilions and tea houses. From there, walk in to the nearby Ginza area, take the Yurikamome line (the elevated driverless train) to the futuristic enclave of Odaiba. We will visit Miraikan (the National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation), eat Ramen at the Decks' Ramen 'theme park', check out the lovely views and then head back to the hotel.

Monday Nov 19 - Disneyland!

Tuesday Nov 20 - DisneySea!

Wednesday Nov 21 - Take the shinkansen, zoom past Mt Fuji and be in the ancient capital Kyoto by 9.30am! We will be staying at the New Miyako Hotel, just behind the JR Kyoto Station, so it will be very convenient. Once we leave our bags, we will go east to Higashiyama region and see the Kiyomizudera Temple, Nanzen-ji and check out the pedestrian shopping streets nearby so typical of Kyoto. If we have time, we will go further north to the Philosopher's Walk to see Ginkakuji - the Silver Pavilion. Dinner nearby, checking out Pontocho in the evening.

Thursday Nov 22 - Osaka-jo to take the pictures KH wants (he was there in 1984 while sailing on the high seas as part of his industrial attachment). Then to the Kaiyukan, the Osaka Aquarium, to see the famous whale sharks. Back in the mid afternoon to see Nijo-jo (to check out the shogun's home and his famous nightingale floors - they squeak to warn the shogun of enemies)

Friday, Nov 23 - Tofukuji in the morning (this is a known koyo spot famed for its autumn leaves, so the place will be packed), Ryoanji (famous for its Zen rock garden) and if time permits, Kinkakuji in the late morning/lunch, Arashiyama and its bamboo groves, moss gardens, Togetsukyo bridge and the Sagano train in the late afternoon/evening.

Saturday Nov 24 - Fushimi Inari shrine in the morning. Leave Kyoto by 2pm on the shinkansen and arrive in Tokyo 2.5hrs later. Check into the lovely Ryokan Kangetsu, soak in the rotenburo! Hit Shinjuku for the night scene (lots of people and neon!) and TMG Observation Tower 1 for the lovely evening/sunset over Tokyo scene - a fitting end to our Japan trip.

Sunday Nov 25 - Meiji-jingu shrine in Yoyogi Park. See the fascinating cosplay at Harajuku. Shop at Takeshita-dori - must check out Oriental Bazaar and Uniqlo for cheap n good yukatas and clothes. Be at the airport by 4pm. We fly at 7pm and arrive in Singapore at 1.20am - conked!! KH and Team A will leave first (15min ahead of us) on NW. My SQ flight arrives 25min later than they would, so the difference is negligible.

Can foresee that I will be dead tired after this vacation! And dead broke too! It feels like a go-go-go kind of itinerary and just reading it makes me feel really exhausted. I am open to tweaking it or deleting some parts of it as we go - a lot will depend on the kids and if/when they (or I!) have meltdowns.

The Fishball is 4!

After months of anticipation, the day finally dawned. My fishball turned 4 on Aug 31. Malaysia's National Day. Every year, the boy gets fireworks on his birthday.

This was the day I thought we'd agreed to put up the sign that says: No more nen-nen for four-year-old boys.

But I was wrong.

After being reminded by his daddy that he'd agreed to no more nen-nen when he turned four, he u-turned and said he still needed nen-nen cos he was still a baby, and he would only stop when he became a bigger boy - like when he turns 5! So we made a deal: He would drink nen-nen only once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once at night before bedtime. But no more nen-nen at night. Intrigued by my proposal, he agreed and we hooked pinkies on it.

The deal lasted about 12 hours. After a day filled with presents (Bionicles - Barraki! Which he put together himself following the instruction booklet!), Ratatouille, sushi and cake (luscious cream cake loaded with strawberries!), he went to bed exhausted and happy. Yes we nursed to sleep - he happily reminded me of our 'deal'. But in the middle of the night, he woke again and asked to nurse. When I reminded him of our deal, he sleepily wailed: But Mu-ummm... Can we make another deal???

So my steadfast nurser is back at the breast - he never really left. Unlike children who nurse less as they grow older, this guy is nursing more and more! With Trinity, they are clamouring for nen-nen almost once every hour when I'm at home - if its not the Fishball, its Trin. So anyone who drops in for a visit is likely to find me (a) lolling on the sofa nursing (b) clicking at Granny (nursing) or (c) reading a book or the papers and nursing (d) eating at the dining table and nursing or sometimes even (e) coaching the older kids in homework and yes, nursing! About the only time when I do NOT have a kid at the breast is when I am in the shower!

When the nipples were really eczemic, it would be worse - super painful, wet, sticky etc. But I have to say that my eczemic nipples are much improved! I bought some Elomet from Guardian in Malacca and applied (sparingly according to instructions) and voila! worked! No more weepy, red or itchy lesions! I have not had a bad outbreak since early August! This is the longest period I have been eczema-free since it first started, when Trin was 6 months old! Not to say that it has cleared completely but when I see the signs of it inching back ie dry itch, mild, pinkish rash etc I apply the Elomet again and that takes care of it. I have not had cause to apply Elomet in days (touch wood in case I am hexing myself!).

So with Owain and Trin both nursing so enthusiastically away, and the eczema receding (fingers crossed!) I feel better about nursing indefinitely.